It's Not Really About The Hair

This is the TRUE story of someone with a balls-to-the-wall, don't give a shit outlook. With an in-your-face honesty and the one who that brought you Tabatha's Salon Takeover, here is the story of the one & only Tabatha Coffey.

As someone who has redefined the word/term B.I.T.C.H., someone who Brave, Intelligent, Tenacious, Creative & Honest and has both book smarts and street smarts. Tabatha's parents were strip club owners. She grew up living LaCage aux Folles A.K.A. The Birdcage - so to speak. Growing up in her parents' clubs showed Tabatha the sacrifices one must sometimes make to live an honest an authentic life. Some of the performers that worked for Tabatha's parents were TG (Transgender). These "girls" were just trying to be themselves. With what they were already going through, Tabatha's mum was always there for her and the performers for any kind of support. She was a mother figure to these "girls".

With this life in the background, Tabatha attended a posh private school. Even at a young age, Tabatha knew to distinguish what was real and ersatz. She knew that compared to her classmates, her life was far more genuine. She was also at a young age aware and appreciative of how hard her family had to work to give her the life that she had.

Tabatha was transfixed by the world she lived in. Listening to these women, Tabatha would sit and sew and was captivated by their chatter. Being around these women and their Honesty - From dressing to language to their makeup, it's AUTHENTICITY was what she loved about it. Tabatha's first job doing hair was backstage at these clubs. The drag queens taught her how to make someone look on the outside the way they feel on the inside. Tabatha says it best: Authenticity is the most attractive quality a person can have.

Tabatha states that she was always the fat & obese kid in school. While the kids in school got something from a truck at lunch, Tabatha would receive a homemade meal from her mum. Even w/ her weight and having asthma, she didn't feel stigmatized and didn't care to befriend any kids. Out if the many Tabatha learned from growing up w/ drag queens was that you have to march to the beat of your own drum and fuck anyone who doesn't like the rhythm. One reason why Tabatha didn't love being around her own age group of kids was because she really wasn't one. Even as the baby of the family, she was living in a grown-up world. (Something I can personally understand and sympathize with). Just a few years later, Tabatha spotted a French Vogue and she was enamored & reveled in it. When she was a teenager, instead of trying to fit in w/ everyone, she thought FUCK fitting in.

After a brief hair course in London at 18 yrs old, Tabatha was in love with London when she got back to Australia. She moved to London and had an adventure. Tabatha loved the challenge it brought trying to succeed in another country. Tabatha received training working for Vidal Sassoon. In London, Tabatha was losing any self-consciousness that she had due to expressing herself so freely. When Tabatha was hairdressing, she felt like a rock star. That was what she loved about London. If someone was sharp w/ her, she had no problem giving it right back. It wasn't until she moved to America that Tabatha was serious about exercise and losing weight. She wanted to belong and make friends. Tabatha was liking herself more with the weight she lost. It wasn't so much w/ her looks, but living honestly as who she was.

Tabatha had big balls.  Big balls is about standing up for what you believe in until yo are faced with several directions. That is what Tabatha describes as forming your own moral compass. When the family was in trouble, Tabatha's dad would want to run. Her strong will and confidence is something she gets from her mom. Whatever works to get the job done - even including swearing like a truck driver - if it works. Look at it this way, Tabatha's own moral code is: B.I.T.C.H.

Even though Tabatha does confide that her dad was a drunk, not an abusive one, but someone who would throw furniture or put a fist through a wall. If he was in a drunken rage, her mom would fire right back. When Tabatha's dad would be sober and try to make-up the next morning, Tabatha knew early on not to trust him and fall for it.

After Tabatha's parents closed the strip clubs they opened a sex shop. Prior to that it had gotten to where Tabatha's dad had said to have killed himself. But he didn't. He had really taken all the family money, skipped town and left. After about 18 months after the family moved to Melbourne, Tabatha began to work as an apprentice for a hairdresser, found a girlfriend and began to let go of resentment toward her dad. What's worse was that Tabatha's dad stated that she/Tabatha didn't exist in divorce papers to her mum. While at a mall one day, Tabatha spotted her dad, who tried to ignore her, but Tabatha wouldn't let him do that. She found that she didn't need a dad in order to be whole and she never saw him again.

I can WHOLEHEARTEDLY agree w/ Tabatha personally when it's said that as members of the LGBT community marching to the beat of your own drummer. No pride parades needed. It's about defining yourself in your own way. Even though Tabatha dropped out of school at 16, which bored her anyway, when she made a deal w/ her mum to finish school and began apprenticeship. When Tabatha lived on her own, she spent quality time w/ her first girlfriend, Sandy.

Tabatha never felt the need to have that grandiose coming out entrance  Since she was taught as a kid to accept others, to her it was normal, so screw everyone else. Because of the environment in which she was raised, Tabatha thought her mum would have no reason to object to Tabatha's relationship w/ Sandy - WRONG! Let's just say there were derogatory remarks and pissy comments that said her mum was disgusted! It was shocking & disappointing. Because Tabatha wanted her mum's approval, she dumped her girlfriend and followed the hetero rules just 2 yrs after coming out.

But Tabatha had soon had enough. She put it best: You have to find yourself if you are going to live your own life. There was a period where Tabatha didn't date anyone but herself. She had to build her own identity. Figuring out who she was and how to be herself. When Tabatha was w/ men, she was someone else. When she was w/ women, she was herself. Own who you are and know that that's okay. From the time she was a little girl. Tabatha went with her mum when her mum went to get her hair done.  Tabatha loved the salon, the atmosphere and watching hairdressers work their magic on people. So at the age of 14, her mind was set. Tabatha would be a hairdresser. Tabatha's mum offered her daughter up as a free assistant doing labor & grunt work for the experience. Tabatha loved it. It taught her ALOT including humility and respect. (Something that is lacking and sorely missed in today's youth.) Tabatha didn't see any of it as slave labor, just working toward her goal.

Tabatha was also taught that when you have a love and passion for what you do, people will teach you things and give you opportunities without having to ask. Tabatha LOVED her profession and learning what she could. She knew she had picked the right profession for her and never looked back. When Tabatha worked at a salon in Surfer's Paradise, she got along fairly with the boss, Stephen, but his wife was a bitch, who ran the business.  She was fair and treated the salon employees like family. If you messed up at work, you were fired. She taught Tabatha ALOT about how to be a tough but fair boss. Tabatha then took those lessons into her career.

Tabatha's idol whom she learned from was Vidal Sassoon, the hair maven himself. In 1988, Tony & Guy were shaking things up in the hairdressing world. Tabatha wanted to be apart of that energetic motion, so she quit and left working for Vidal Sassoon. Tony & Guy's way of hair was more edgy and messy that Tabatha needed to to master. The experience at Tony & Guy helped unleash Tabatha's creativity. Her stint w/ Tony & Guy was a key part in the evolution and development as a hairdresser. Tabatha's first opportunity to meet her idol came after finishing the first season of Bravo's Shear Genius. During the show backstage, when Tabatha came in contact w/ her idol, she began to cry. That experience meant ALOT to her. Tabatha states and I personally agree 100% w/ her that just because something may seem small and petty, you should give it your all because it could lead to something huge. Everything she'd done led her to where she is now.

After her places of employment, Tabatha was working at another salon in London when at the time was very laid back and totally unorganized. It was okay to be late to work, being late from lunch to shop and just just relaxing on the job. It became a problem for Tabatha when she would let her standards slip. Because of her salon owner at the time didn't want to be the bad guy who told people what to do, when this man was gone on his annual trip, Tabatha was fed up and couldn't take it. Tabatha had always been the one at the salon early before everyone else and getting the place ready. After taking on extra responsibilities and talking to the owner of this salon, Tabatha was asked to manage the salon for him. It was the beginning of her boot-camp.

Whenever there was arguing and confrontation, Tabatha set them straight. The boss' wife called Tabatha thanking her for the difference that she made. With the boss' support, Tabatha ran the salon more efficiently. After 7 months, Tabatha's efforts were paying off.

In 1992, Tabatha had enough of England and moved to the United States. When clients seen the intensity that Tabatha put into a haircut, they asked for her. Tabatha built up her clientele that way. The way Tabatha seen it, the "more popular American girls" were Barbie dolls - Literally. So Tabatha at one point, tried to fit but no one but herself, she let others' opinions push her into the opposite direction. Through her eyes, she thought America was about the picture that's painted on the outside. Tabatha learned QUICKLY that the whole fitting in thing wasn't for her and it wasn't that simple.

After a BOTCHED surgery of breast augmentation, Tabatha suffered MONSTROUS pain four days later. She kept having NOTHING BUT TROUBLE. After she sued the surgeon and winning the case, Tabatha felt she did the right thing because as a society, if we don't stand up for ourselves, then who will?

Tabatha made a good point when you thoroughly look at when she says that when people are going through shit, they tell their hairdressers secrets they won't tell anyone else, like confessing to a priest. Some times as just an outside person to talk to and reveal to! Sometimes a client comes in wanting an old look they used to have just to feel the way they did during that period. That's why at times it not really about the hair.

After a BOTCHED breast augmentation surgery, that is why it is why  it's so important to feel good about yourself inside/out. One thing Tabatha stresses is that through ANY situation, the BEST thing you can do is to go with your gut. By this time, Tabatha was ready to open her own business. She opened her salon, Industrie Hair Gurus in 2002. It was funny when Tabatha found others who watched the show and are intrigued and ask questions. In 2007, Tabatha was reached for a casting of Bravo's show called 'Shear Genius'. Without telling anyone, once again Tabatha followed her gut and went to the open casting call. Her honesty won them over. Even though Tabatha didn't win 'Shear Genius', she won something more valuable. Due to her competing on the show and due to being voted Fan Favorite, Tabatha won a $10,000 prize and got a call from Bravo for a meeting.

It also led to her own show, Tabatha's Salon Takeover. When Tabatha did 'Shear Genius', one thing you DID SEE was the REAL her. No fluff. No Puff. No Editing. Because of who she was and who she was paired with on the show, Tyson, and the shitty job he did, they were both sent home from the competition.  At least Tabatha was honest! Through hardships in business and life, one thing is TRUE, you must GO W/ YOUR GUT and LEARN THAT YOU'LL SURVIVE.

Tabatha admits that she was surprised when Bravo execs offered her her own show! Tabatha came up w/ the B.I.T.C.H. acronym after viewers assorted her brutal honesty in what they seen  from 'Shear Genius'.




One thing I did learn from this book is that IT'S OKAY TO BE WHO YOU ARE AND TO ALWAYS GO W/ YOUR GUT!   So Here It Is. . . .


In The End Of This Book, one thing I did learn from Tabatha Coffey is to be TRUE!! It got me to answer one seething question: Who am I/Jeremy Carroll? I am a young person with a medical problem who happens to be gay! It's who I am.

All That Is Bitter & Sweet

This next story/book DOES NOT tell the usual actresses story. While telling the stories of others w/o a voice, she gives them one and at the same time telling her own story of survival. This is not about the roles she's had in Hollywood. But more of the voice she's been given and the way she uses it. This is Ashley Judd.

Originally born to Michael and Diana Ciminella, who was 17 at the time. They had married due to the unplanned pregnancy that resulted in daughter Christina (Wynonna). The twist in the story was of Christina's paternity, which they learned years later. She/Ashley regales her family history and the generational troubles they endured. It was a blind date w/ friends that Michael Ciminella met a 14-yr-old across the street, neighbor and friend, Diana Judd. Diana claimed to never have loved Michael, but was impressed by the comfortable lifestyle suited by the Ciminella family. The Judd family history itself was strange.

In the summer of 1963, after it was revealed that Diana's brother was diagnosed w/ a deadly form of Hodgkin's Lymphoma, they were in OH and Diana stayed behind. She stayed due to starting as a high school senior. It was also the first time that Diana was left alone in the house w/ a boy she had been dating, Charlie Jordon. That first time w/ Charlie resulted in pregnancy. Diana, it seemed in a state of despair & urgency, determined that Michael Ciminella was the baby's father. Once she set this story in motion, Diana committed to it completely. On January 3, 1964 Diana Judd and Michael Ciminella were married in a sad ceremony in VA. It was regarded as a shameful occasion.  Diana stayed w/ the Ciminella's while Michael stayed in school in Lexington. Diana was a scandalously knocked up teen living w/ adults she barely knew. Knowing their son was not really the father of her baby.

Christina Claire Ciminella was born on 5-30-64. After several months of living together and more experience, Michael began to wonder if Christina was really his daughter. He couldn't really remember when he figured it out, but it didn't really matter to him. He loved/accepted Christina as his own. After a job promotion in 1967, they uprooted to California. Diana was pregnant shortly after. The following April, Ashley was born. Christina thought Ashley was a gift just for her. After about a year or so, the marriage between Diana and Michael began to deteriorate. Diana was working as a model and a secretary part-time w/ hopes of somehow breaking into showbiz. When things went south for Diana & Michael, their divorce finalized in 1974.

Diana & her daughters

It was clear at an early age that Christina had a musical gift. Ashley loved her big sister madly through the picking and the tickling. Christina was Ashley's protector. Ashley felt at a young age that singing w/ her mother & sister, crazily singing off-key, she was being laughed at. She was hurt real bad by it and never sang again. That was initiative enough for her. Right before entering first grade and Diana's Hollywood dreams weren't working out, Diana headed back to Kentucky to study for a nursing degree. Even though Diana never stayed in one place, Ashley between the ages of 5-to-18, bounced from LA to Kentucky, to Northern California and back. She would be left and be passed around by others, sometimes for days at a time or to another relative without warning. Ashley felt like an outsider watching her mom follow her dreams. She would wait and watch for her mom's attention - but it never came.

Mostly they fought. Michael, their dad, wanted to spend more time w/ Ashley & Christina. But their mom wanted to drive him away from home. When she couldn't stand it anymore, Diana moved out. The next summer, after still living w/ their grandparents, Diana swooped up and picked up her daughters. Because Diana was always busy w/ school, Ashley was always by herself or making up her own friends. When Diana was home from school, leaving Ashley to learn on her own. This was the same time that Diana & Christina began to fool around w/ singing and learning music. In sixth grade, Christina flourished and practiced on the guitar and piano. When their mom was at school, Christina would be practicing. Diana would go to school during the day and worked as a waitress at night. When it came to their dad, other than a figure their mother hated, he disappeared from their lives.

Around this time, Diana & Christina were serious about becoming a musical duo. Christina just felt peace w/ a guitar in her hands. Diana had bigger dreams and needed Christina's cooperation. Whenever they were together in music, it was as it DO NOT DISTURB us Ashley. "She was a stranger in he own family." Ashley does have a love of the GENUINE outdoors and animals. Her animals gave her what her parents had been able to be sustained from her childhood - the invaluable feeling of being the center of somebody's world. Ashley shares that she has chosen to not have kids when there are children who are already here that need time, love, attention and care. Ashley's first bout w/ depression began at age 8. She would lie in bed for days on end. No one seemed to notice. Anxiety and insomnia and more occurred before she realized it was depression throughout her life. She had just finished 'A Time To Kill' and went straight into 'Norma Jean And Marilyn' as well as 'Kiss The Girls'.

After the house she had been renting in Malibu burned to the ground, Ashley stayed w/ her mom, pop or at Sisters/Christina's. Ashley's mild depression came from unresolved childhood grief. Sometimes in a deep sleep, emotions would flood unexpectedly. Releasing all the pent-up sadness. Ashley was staying w/ her mom a few times. After she needed to get the advised help, Ashley moved out of her moms and slowly she began to heal.

Thanks to the moving around when she was growing up, Ashley was unevenly educated when she arrived in college. She attacked academic life in a way that viscerally sparked her. She felt a happiness for the first time living away from home & family. Ashley joined every progressive cause she could, led campus wide walk-outs protesting a university trustees use of a racial epithet. The life of services that Ashley devotes herself to, without intention, helped heal the wounds of her own childhood. When Ashley graduated from her honor's program in 1990, she didn't think it was odd that she had NO guests in attendance; but was surprised to see other kids' families there. In the same year, Ashley was torn between spending the next 2 yrs in Africa as a missionary or filling the same deeper impulse to act. Acting helped her survive and it enriched her life. At 22, if she didn't give acting a try, she feared it would be something she regretted her whole life.

After 3 days of arriving in LA, Ashley was enrolled at the Playhouse West Acting School, Ashley began to audition and got work immediately under a show that allowed her to join SAG (Screen Actors Guild). Next was a role on NBC's Sisters w/ Swoozie Kurtz. In driving from Tennessee, Georgia & Alabama, Ashley had taken one lane country roads and was witness to poverty that SHOCKED her. The type of poverty and people she only thought lived in books. After Ruby in 1993, before she knew it, being a working actor & movie star was normal. After she had established herself as an actress, Ashley felt she had abandoned herself from the person she was at 22. But she found the way to get there.

When Ashley received a letter to become a YouthAIDS ambassador, she realized the help she could be doing and did her research. After she had done her work, she became affluent in what is known today as the ONE Campaign. After a GRUELING day and ready to collapse from exhaustion, after a snafu with the water temperature for a shower, Ashley had an epiphany realizing those that DON'T have safe water and began to feel grateful. That was when she accepted the offer to work w/ the ONE Campaign. After a GRUELING day and ready to collapse from exhaustion, after a snafu w/ the water temperature in the shower, Ashley had an epiphany Realizing those that DON'T have safe water and began feel grateful. That was when she accepted the offer to work for the ONE Campaign.

Ashley's itinerary after arriving in Cambodia was to visit several meetings and places to learn intensively about HIV and other preventable diseases and effective grass-root remedies and share them w/ the world. After she learned of the treatment on Cambodia and the torture that Cambodians went through was stunning. Emotional flooding caused her to break down a few times. The violence & torture was one o bring a tear to your eye. That was why Ashley fights so hard for HIV/AIDS prevention after hearing these stories. Ashley sent a positive message from her trip to Thailand, "If a famous woman isn't afraid of catching HIV from AIDS patients, you shouldn't be either."

Throughout this trip and all of the emotional HELL this put her through, Ashley needed a spiritual rejuvenation in faith. The heat had done her in as well as the trip being too emotional and too intense. By this time, Ashley was a full-blown evangelist for PSI (Public Service Informer) emphasis on prevention of HIV/AIDS.

When Ashley returned home to TN, she had a culture shock that America had so much while others had so little. Upon Ashley's return, PSI invited her to join their board of directors. Something she was overjoyed to accept. After the 2005 Golden Globes for which her and her co-star Kevin Kline were nominated Best Actor & Actress in De-Lovely, Ashley was on a trip to Africa. An impact was made w/ kids in the school(s) where it was cool to abstain.

Ashley's mentor is Archbishop Desmond Tutu. Meeting him was the emotional tug that she needed. After a deeply profound conversation w/ the Archbishop, he told her a story w/ an underlining lesson that she picked up on. Ashley was really GRATEFUL for the experience w/ her mentor, hero & friend. After 20 days, Ashley was due to come home.

Ashley's film career was thriving. She was frustrated w/ filming both 'Bug' and 'Come Early Morning' due to assistant problems. Many problems from her depression resulted in her childhood and her family's history in the context of her adult perplexities. Something she realized she never looked at before. With a therapist, Ted, she began to revisit her childhood and reassess the messages given to her by her family while she was growing up that have shaped who she is. Something else Ashley began working on was her relationship w/ her father. Although it was uneasy, there was so much unacknowledged pain, loss & grief around their relationship. Being vulnerable w/ him was COMPLETELY overwhelming.

For the FIRST time, Ashley was able to tell her dad what growing up was like for her. After she had told him EVERYTHING, from being left alone as a kid- to-his behavior when they were together - EVERYTHING, he took it in - occasionally giving observations and more. He validated ALOT of things. He really gave her a BIG gift. Ashley was being taught ways to let go of reactions to those who had done damage to her. Although the process took time, Ashley went from keeping her dad at arm's length to becoming her father's daughter again.

Ashley was in her 30s before she was fully able to take in both sides of her parents story of the girls' growing up, evaluate it and come to her own conclusions. With every truth she was hearing, Ashley was plagued by physical emotions that confirmed what was said. Breaking into the entertainment business was really Diana's obsession. After managing to meet Merle Haggard at a concert backstage in the parking lot, Christina & Diana ended up traveling w/ him for the next few days. Ashley was left home alone during that time. Ashley would hear stories all the time about her mom and sister out in LA. When she was staying w/ her grandmother, Ashley was told she would be staying w/ her dad, whom, at this point, she hadn't seen in years.

Wynonna & Naomi

Even though her dad couldn't grasp that it was depression, at least he was there. Ashley felt that what she wasn't getting  from her mom, she got from her dad. Meanwhile while Ashley & her dad were building a life for themselves, she received a letter from her mom stating that they had changed their names. Diana changed it to "Naomi' and had retaken Judd as a last name. Christina had chosen "Wynonna". Ashley had just turned 11 and knew there was no place for her in their world.

In 1979, Naomi & Wynonna settled in Nashville. At this point, Ashley's parents agreed to share custody changing during alternative years. When Ashley's grandfather died, it did help knowing that she was wanted in her grandparents' care. Naomi took nursing jobs to pay the rent, eventually settling into a 3:00-11:00p shift. Wynonna & Ashley would bond over the shared neglect they had from their mom. One day a print ad producer from New York City knocked on her door and wanted to use the property of the house in an ad. He had encouraged Ashley to model in competitions in NY.

When an old friend of Ashley's parents had heard of this opportunity, she had sort of been a godsend to Ashley and saved Ashley from her lonely life. She had offered to to pay for Ashley's trip accompany her to NY. Because of her legal name when she got there, Ashley Ciminella, agencies were expecting Ashley Judd, which confused everyone. Naomi & Wynonna's manager had told Ashley that she legally needed to change her name to Judd for contractual reasons. After an incident that led to living w/ 2 girls who were very protective of Ashley and were fun, they were relieved to send Ashley home to Tennessee and resume school. When she got home, Ashley found that modeling wasn't for her. She collapsed into a NEEDED hug when she was met by Piper, an old friend of her mother's.

Wynonna & Naomi released their first album in 1983. When Ashley was in the eleventh grade and sick of her life alone and always in trouble w/ her absent mom, she called her dad and asked to officially live w/ him. She had had enough. When she was w/ dad, things weren't much better. A next door neighbor who could tell she was the daughter of an addict. She would look out for Ashley and care for her. Ashley's dad, Michael's, drug disease was worsening. He was in a mode of rage about the girls' mom when he confessed to Ashley about Christina's paternity. Ashley was shocked - She had no idea. After that EVERYTHING from past-to-present made sense. After SPILLING EVERYTHING to Naomi & Wynonna's manager and hearing something was wrong, Ashley was sent to live w/ her grandmother. After that, Ashley dad didn't take it so well, in fact, throwing himself out of her life for good.

When Ashley moved in w/ her grandmother, she received everything she ever dreamed of: a stable and loving home. She went from nearly failing school to finishing the top 10 in her school. Even though Ashley and dad remained estranged for years, the Judds rocketed to stardom in her college years. Ashley loved attending her mother/sister's shows. It was at a therapist's office that all 3 girls, Wynonna, Naomi & Ashley, went b/c Naomi seemed to keep holding the truth. Ashley went and told Wynonna the truth about her paternity. All of this circulated due to a FALSE, but still out there, according of Naomi's biography. Naomi cried & buried her face in Wynonna's lap.

When Ashley's went to visit sister at the Shades Of Hope Rehab, Ashley was given a suggestion by an employee, write her mother a letter w/ her non-dominate hand and it was like it was written by her 2-yr-old self. EVERYTHING poured out. From the she did when she was a kid. The rehab began to work w/ Ashley as well as her own problems. Whenever pent-up feelings Ashley was having began to alleviate the body. At the end of Wynonna's treatment, Ashley was asked to stay to work on her own pent-up problems. She stayed there to work on the Lost Child behind.

When Ashley announced she was receiving help, others seen it as about time while some started planning her treatment itinerary. The faculty staff itself had weird rules. As Wynonna went to give her baby sister, Ashley, a big hug after her first day, Ashley was cracking and becoming undone. After a night without sleep, Ashley faced what she was so afraid of - losing her mind. After she had confronted that, she worked her hardest on her treatment plan in her allotted time. When someone else in her group therapy would tell their story, Ashley's emotions let it go. She could begin to feel and cry. She began to cause/effect from her childhood. The basic steps used for alcoholics w/o her being one could be of the same value and become revolutionary. Ashley turned EVERY emotion and struggle faced over as in recovery to a higher power. It has worked REMARKABLY for her ever since.

Something remarkable that did happen involving a teabag mad Ashley feel to laugh, along w/ the group in therapy, and NOT feel laughed at. Everyone could see the change in her. The faculty was leading Ashley to only a process and journey that was safe for her to finally do so. It was all about control.

Ashley began to put herself to doing good will and effected herself and began to sleep again. She came to find that she didn't need approval, permission or forgiveness from anyone. Throughout Ashley's progress, she felt important in the life of her family for the FIRST time. She had compounded ALOT during her family week at the treatment facility. Before her release, Ashley had written a good-bye letter to her depression.

When Ashley was well enough, she met w/ Salma Hayek on a trip to Guatemala and more traveling as a YouthAIDS ambassador. A year after getting treatment, Ashley felt prepared to take on a trip to India. The reasons Ashley does this is because as an empowering adult, she knows that she is nurturing and loving the lost, little child inside of her. Even w/ all the good work she was accomplishing around the world, she felt there was more to do and never enough. During these trips, Ashley was known as "the Vanna White of condoms". Throughout this journey and 11 countries, Ashley gave herself a break and visited a sanctuary she'd heard about. She was grateful that the countries she visited w/ great challenges, her work, as well as PSI put her on the right side of history. Ashley's faith, hope & core was renewed.

After all the time Ashley had spent in these countries, coming home to the U.S. was a culture shock. She went to see a psychologist because she was still feeling very sick. During the appointment, the dam broke and Ashley couldn't stop crying. The old feelings began to creep up. A jump into a cold creek while on a walk w/ her husband, Dario Franchetti watching, an internal click came that assured Ashley that she would be okay.

Ashley had always wanted to go to graduate school. After talking it over w/ someone, it was suggested that Ashley attended Harvard. When it came time to apply, she received shocking help from her dad. Since the family week at Shades Of Hope, Ashley and her dad had gotten close. After clearing her schedule around, she moved to Cambridge for the year.

After one film to dip her toe back into acting, a movie came along 'Tooth Fairy'. After that, other projects would have to wait until after graduation from Harvard. While she in math class, it was the most intimidating thing she'd done in her life. Problems from the past would creep up. Different ones this time. Problems/snags you were hit with 20 years ago in school (ex.- reading/math) were still here today. Ashley's was algebra. (Something ALOT of people can relate to!) A few days later, Ashley's schoolwork was returned to her. It was handed back w/ A's. She had managed to conquer what she hadn't been able in school as a kid - high school math. On her own. Ashley had a series of unfortunate encounters w/ being sick. A verified case of H1N1, followed by flu/sinus infections. When Ashley's dad, Michael, came she took full advantage of his care for her. Ashley officially graduated from Harvard Kennedy School in My 2010.

Since this book's publication, in 2012 Ashley has taken back to acting w/ the now cancelled series for ABC called 'Missing' about a C.I.A. woman searching to find her son who was studying abroad.

The Fabulist

This story is one to be taken at face value. It tells of a story that is TRUE but written to be FICTION. It begins w/ a young journalist making his rise in the business working at the Washington Weekly until he manages to destroy it. This book tells more of the story and creativity behind the scandal that rocked the journalistic industry.

When Stephen Glass was asked to reference the people in his stories, he always stated that his information was at home. Asking if he could run there and find it, he was REALLY covering his tracks. After Stephen had asked his brother, Nathan, who was in college, for help, Stephen had found out that his brother admired him. Nathan had read all of Stephen's stories. When they hung up, Stephen had a sense that his brother knew what he was up to! Throughout the night, Stephen kept covering his tracks.

When Stephen was late w/ his stories, it angered his boss. Because of Stephen's lateness, it made his boss miss out on time w/ his daughter, who was home from college. When his editor, Robert, began to question Steven, he had been called in by Nathan whom he persuaded to act like an associate that he/Robert was searching for. When Robert asked to be taken to the EXACT site that Stephen's story took place, Stephen was trying to fit surrounding locations as part of his lie. During the search for the truth and "missing puzzle pieces", Robert asked for the FULL truth of what was to be found at where they were going. Stephen began to cry - heavily. Admitting he didn't go to this conference, Stephen lied out an apology. At this point, lying became more than a comfort, but more of a vitality.

When Stephen & Robert returned to the office, Stephen was being questioned about a different story. Steven's boss REALLY was ready to go to bat for Steven if he could PROVE that these people existed. After Steven was told by Robert the HUGE privileges and responsibilities of journalism and how Stephen destroyed it by his FALSE stories, he was FIRED! As Stephen was leaving, he ran into Lindsay, an associate he worked with who helped him. She helped him exit the office easily without ALOT of people there. One-by-one everyone said good-bye and promised to stay in touch. Just then, Robert announced over the intercom that he would explain his side of the story when everyone returned to the office.

After Stephen was fired and went home, to avoid media press on this event, he and his girlfriend, Allison, went to Steven's parents house in Savannah. When it came time for Steven to tell Allison the truth of what happened at the office, he had told her a condensed version of the truth. He couldn't bring himself to tell her the WHOLE truth. He was ashamed. He had kept in retrospect - his working life a secret. At the end of the day, it was an emotionally draining one.

Steven, who was still in school at the time, had only attended 2 lectures all semester and spent all of his time at the newspaper, which he really loved. When it came time for a test in organic chemistry - he failed! His parents wanted him to be a doctor and really quit the paper. Whenever Steven would fly back/forth to his parents & work, he would literally play deaf on the aircraft so he wouldn't have to answer to scrutiny and questions from the scandal. After the plane ride, Stephen deepened farther in by using a wheelchair as told by the captain taking advantage until they left the airport. When Stephen's parents came home long after he had, his mother told him about Allison calling the airline and that Stephen maybe suicidal and the airline went crazy. That explained why the airline treated Stephen w/ kid gloves. They thought he was both deaf and suicidal.

Even though Steven was nervous, over ice cream, Steven explained the full honest story behind his firing to his parents. When he divulged details, Stephen's parents went on to inform him of his history he'd had telling "tall tales". His mother tried to give him some good points as to how this could blow over. Stephen seen himself as a Black Sheep. After he was confronted by Allison, Stephen was going to have to start telling the hard truths. As much as he destroyed himself w/ lying, Stephen would have to go farther telling the truth. When media outlets began knocking on the door for an interview, Stephen's dad vowed to protect his son, even at Steven's turn-down. Being on the other end of media, Steven felt like a predator due to having been in their shoes. Around this time, Stephen began having nightmares and night terrors, reliving the firing over-and-over again, suffering both anxiety and depression, crying in shame, frustration and despair.

It was during this same time that media began wanting to interview Stephen. When he would ignore them, they wrote letters to him for a response. As the days continued, Stephen would receive many different calls. Hate calls, threatening calls, surprising, weird & admiring calls. Some reporters understood the pressures and the why Stephen had done it. EVERYONE wanted to be granted "the FIRST" interview w/ him. Old friends that he  had lost touch w/ years ago wanted contact w/ him when he had the time. When Brian called, an associate Stephen worked w/ at the magazine, he asked Stephen for advice on how to handle his former boss. Stephen wondered that if people HAD to ask of why he did this? His only response was that no answer would placate or satisfy. Meanwhile, Stephen tried DAILY - almost abit obsessive at contacting Allison when she wouldn't return his calls. Steven and his mom wound up going to get Stephen's things packed up and moved.

The next day Steven & his mom aboard a plane and went out to Maryland or Virginia for Stephen to live. Stephen apologized to Allison for bailing and fleeing. After she was about to leave for good, Stephen PLEADED w/ her to go see a professional. She agrees to 1hr. Steven received the exact opposite result than planned. In the end of it, Allison left him for good! The next day, Steven moved out and into an apartment found by his mom. His mom began to stay the night when Stephen sort-of forced her out instead of staying.

Stephen CONFESSES to the FIRST story he ever fabricated. It was early in his tenure about a young D.C. player. When he didn't have much to go on and this was an inevitable piece, Stephen began to panic. For a story to even be a story, Stephen needed a "smoking gun" detail to finish the story off. It could start out small, stay mainstream, but had to hit w/ a bang. Stephen accomplished in journalism what others only imagined. The reasons behind it was because he wanted to be recognized for an EXCEPTIONAL article. He wanted to be well-regarded and loved by the people around him. For his stories, Stephen easily slipped into a groove of elaboration.  At the point of no return - there was no going back, so he just kept on typing. As far as it went w/ fact-checking, Steven played a large role in asserting the system and trying to improve it. If Stephen couldn't call a source or verify one, he would say that the source wasn't right for the piece or makeup a journalistic reason for eliminating that person from the piece. Steven stated that the reasons why he did this were the more stories he turned in, the more he would've been considered for cover stories. The more stories he made up, the more offers he received. It was like the more he fabricated and turned in, the more his editors  loved them and him.

Stephen found himself in public situations fabricating stories to waitresses and everyone. To him lying seemed like the only solution. When Stephen met a girl through a computer chat-room, Beth, he felt his life/luck changing. One minute he felt he had no one, now here was Beth. One minute, jobless, the next he was just going for a video rental and was given an on-the-spot job hired at a video store. That was how he ended up a shift supervisor at the store. Even with his new job, Stephen felt himself lying at work. He then realized a sick obsession w/ lying. When Steven got home, he found that Beth had left him w/o a way to contact. He was then REAL GRATEFUL for his new job at the video store as to not obsess about Beth. Even though he knew he couldn't date for awhile, Stephen no longer felt he had to lie or stay quiet. A few weeks later, Nathan  visited his older brother Stephen. He/Stephen apologized PROFUSELY for using Nathan in his cover-ups. According to Nathan's story, Stephen's using him that way was only a "dream boat" in the eyes of others for Nathan. At the end of the day, Nathan believed that NOTHING could've been done for Stephen to be in the press' good graces. Stephen began to wonder that this whole thing will blow over and he COULD get a happy ending.

Stephen was beginning to gain notoriety as "Hey, aren't you Stephen Glass. . . .the guy who?"  Aside from his parents and brother, the first person Stephen felt was unequivocally in his corner was his rabbi. The rabbi just wanted Stephen to survive this. When Stephen finally did talk to him, the rabbi, Stephen found himself volunteering for a service. Stephen used the service as a point to contact his mother. After he apologized about the past, that was where things stayed. Stephen promised his mother he would attend a Jewish ritual w/ an acquaintance of his mothers. When he arrived, Stephen began communicating w/ one of the granddaughters, Syl, which was someone he already knew. They began to get to know each other. During their date, they got to know each other's worst traits about themselves; both traits and physicality. The next day when Stephen was going to the video store, he'd heard of reporters being there and they called security. Stephen felt relieved that someone had his back and was going to protect him.

Because of fear of someone stealing, Stephen changed his mailing address w/ only his first and middle name; Stephen Aaron. When his girlfriend found out, Stephen felt he deceived her. But she didn't want to talk about it - as though she understood. They each made minor adjustments that fit the relationship. Even though media mentions of Steven were dying down, during a late-night TV program, they announced that during Steven's time at The Weekly, 70 out of 80 pieces had contained at least one unverified fact. When Stephen wasn't working at the video store, he spent his time alone w/ Syl, unless they were at Shabbat services. When it came to Syl, the further into love he fell w/ her, the more difficult it became to break his history to her. Stephen began to wonder what was so wrong w/ himself to have done this? What wrong was he trying to vindicate? What was he trying to prove by hurting the people that he had? He realized that it because they were all successful, loved & respected people. Exceeding everyone's expectations. They were the real thing that Stephen wished he was.

Stephen felt TRULY apologetic and sorry for what he had done an knew it would never go away. He did everything he could think of to hide the TRUE identity of who he really was to Syl, his girlfriend. Some looked at Stephen's relationship w/ his girlfriend as a sign of being "back on track". After an arousing game of bingo, Stephen found out from Syl that she had a gambling addiction. An imperfection. She was flawed. Just like him. They began telling their worst. He confessed his TRUE history and the ramifications he suffered. After taking the rest of the night and confessing EVERYTHING to each other. Stephen woke up the next morning w/ Syl next to him and felt incredibly fortunate. Even though he knew he didn't deserve it, he embraced it. This was to become a second chance to get it right.

When Stephen went to work, after he was praised for doing a good job, the boss was verbally required to give Stephen an application. When the boss had asked Stephen about/if he had been fired before, Stephen confessed to what he had done at the magazine. It sort-of changed his bosses demeanor and he fired Stephen. Something Stephen understood.When Stephen & Syl took their dog to the vet's ER, they were stalked by a reporter, Cliff, and a photographer. They were continuously polite to turn him down for attention due to their emergency. When he was turned down one more time, the reporter instantly grabbed the dog out from the vet and held the dog hostage for an interview. Suddenly the dog began to scream and Syl rose up, kicked the reporter between the legs and he released the dog.

When they finished at the vet, the reporter entered into a fury w/ a tape recorder. Stephen gave a tearfully, meaningful answer as to why? He couldn't help but realize that the guy DID wind up getting his exclusive. After they left the vet's office, Stephen realized that Syl would still be there long afterward. The next morning, Syl & Steven decided to start anew by moving to New York. As they headed the way there (NY), Steven said good-bye to Washington FOREVER! Still trying to piece his life together.

In 2003, a movie was made recounting Stephen's notorious scandal w/ "The New Republic" in Shattered Glass w/ Hayden Christensen, Peter Sarsgaard & Chloe Sevigny. Christensen as the role playing Stephen.















Since this book's publication and the movie, Shattered Glass, it had come out and been reported that in 2012, Stephen has been fighting, since graduating and passing the bar in 2007 from Georgetown Law School, for his application for an attorney's law license. The State's Committee of Bar Examiners judged him morally unfit for his new profession.

the REAL Stephen Glass

Girl, Interrupted

This book tells a TRUE story of how in the late 1960s a young woman, Susanna Kaysen,  is LITERALLY sent to live, by a psychiatrist to McLean Hospital. Here is the story of how she spent the next 2 years.

In McLean Hospital, the patients that Suzanna was in company with were a very unusual group. But they all fit well together. First, there was Polly. Then, there was Lisa, who was a known runaway but was always back in a day or two. She was always better at night. She made cocoa for herself and anyone else, as well as doing their nails. Lisa would be calm during the day and more of herself at night. Whenever Lisa needed a vacation, she would runaway and be back again later.

Susanna's roommate, Georgina, was originally admitted during her junior year in college. She was in a movie theater watching a movie when her entire world went dark. She had a boyfriend that she met in the cafeteria. What she liked about him was his rage. One thing about Georgina was her continued fantasy that her father was a C.I.A. operator w/ dangerous friends.

Daisy was a patient who was there seasonally. She had 2 passions: laxatives and chicken, which were something she was COMPLETELY impatient for. Daisy's father, who had supplied the chicken was in love w/ his daughter. No one was ever in daisy's room, but Lisa found a point to get herself in. Around Christmas, Daisy's father had bought her an apartment. Later that year, Daisy left McLean to be at her apartment for Christmas. One afternoon in May, word had been sent that Daisy killed herself.

Before arriving at McLean, Susanna had a boyfriend who wrote good poems to her. She had called him up and informed him she was going to kill herself. By which she swallowed 50 aspirin. Realizing it was a mistake. When she was at the hospital, she had her stomach pumped which brought her around to reality. Because of her legal age, Susanna was signing herself into McLean. Either that or a court order was issued. On the ward, there were various rooms for the patients, but there were 2 other rooms. The living room - everyone hated it and thought it more for the staff really. Then there was the T.V. room - where everyone hangs out. The hospital was famous and housed many many great poets/singers. Ray Charles being the most famous. Sylvia Plath spent time there as well.

A week after Daisy had killed herself, as a special treat for the patients, the staff had taken them for ice cream. One day a second Lisa arrived. They called her by her full name, Lisa Cody. Cody & Lisa began to make trouble after the Real Lisa had something in common. Lisa Cody eventually disappeared from the ward and was never found. After the Real Lisa escaped, 2 days later she was back. She stated she had seen Lisa Cody and she was a real junkie.

Lisa had a court-appointed attorney whom she often threatened to call if she didn't get her way. Although he hadn't stopped her from being committed. When Lisa threatened to call him, the head nurse would get involved. The head nurses name was Valarie, who was about 30. Half a dozen nurses and an aid or were on duty during the day. The night staff consisted of 3 BIG women. Occasionally there was a different woman who called the patients "honey". The night staff would give them a hug if need be. The day staff stuck to a NO  Physical contact policy.

Mrs. McWeeney was a night nurse that mutually did NOT get along w/ Valarie. None of the patients liked her. After it seemed the world was over after Kennedy's assassination and M.L.K, the patients in the ward thought outrage and the world was taking it out for them. The hospital shielded the patients from anything they wanted. As long as they were willing to be upset, the patients didn't have to get jobs/work or go to school. The costs to stay at McLean was $67.00 daily (1967 dollars). After an incident and Susanna looked at her hand, she thought her palm looked different. If she spread her fingers out, her hands looked more human. When she turned her hands over, her veins were bulged. After she poked deeper & deeper to feel bone, they were hard to find. After she put her hands in her mouth and bit (hard), there was successful blood. She had thought she had NO bones in her hand.

It was a typical December day when the patients discovered the tunnels that you could leave either in or out. It was also around this time that Susanna got a new therapist Melvin. When Susanna began telling people she was an inpatient at a hospital like this, she thought of the stigma that followed. She she stopped telling people.

As Susanna was heading towards a release, she worked in the Harvard Billing Office. When she realized she was at the face of sexism in the workplace, it was one of the reasons she became a writer. To set her own rules. Luckily, Susanna received a marriage proposal in 1968 and the hospital had let her out. She knew who she was going to be - a writer and the world around her didn't want to accept it.

Susanna's Formal Diagnosis on her discharge was a  Recovered Borderline Personality Disorder. Before her stints "wrist-banging", Susanna had an earlier period of "face scratching". Looking back on her high school days, Susanna was the first person in the school's history not to go to college. After most of the patients were released from McLean, Georgina & Susanna kept in touch. Whenever Georgina went over to Susanna's apartment, she never got along w/ Susanna's neighbor who was about 10 years older than them. Later on, luckily Georgina got herself married, living on a farm in western Massachusetts.

A few years after that, Susanna ran into Lisa at Harvard Square. She had a little boy w/ her - a son, Aaron. She was a single mom in Brookline and she had COMPLETELY changed. Sixteen years later, Susanna was w/ her rich boyfriend in New York. When they had gotten to an art gallery, Susanna read the title of a painting "Girl Interrupted". Interrupted by her life, just as Susanna had been. She felt an emotion to the painting.

In 1999, a film was made based on this book and Susanna's experiences at McLean/"Claymoore" Hospital w/ Winona Ryder as Susanna and an Oscar-Winning performance by Angelina Jolie as Lisa and Whoopi Goldberg as Valerie.

Susanna today

This Boy's Life

For any of you that have/had a stepparent that was good to you, here is a story of someone who wasn't so lucky. This story begins w/ a 10-yr-old by, Tobias (Toby) Wolff, and his mother, Caroline, on an adventure to Salty Lake City, UT to get rich and change their luck.

When Tobias acquired the name 'Jack' for himself, his mother was okay with it, but his father wasn't. He found it a pride to his family name. Although Toby's dad was rolling in money, he had left the family to marry a millionairess. Some time after school, 'Jack' would pass the hours after school mostly to avoid his mother's boyfriend, Roy. Roy had tracked down Caroline a few weeks later. There were times when Toby would go w/ Roy on trips, such as hunting & fishing. Roy was happy to take him along. Outside of the brutality that Caroline suffered from Roy, Toby didn't know about it. He thought Roy was what a man should be. Shortly after Easter that year, Roy gave Toby a Windchester .22 rifle he'd been wanting.  The next day after Caroline & Roy discussed having a family, Toby comes home from school to NO Ray and his mother, Caroline, packing to leave. They boarded a bus heading to Seattle.

After arriving in Seattle, Toby & Caroline boarded a house w/ 2 roommates. One was a secretary who was young and soft-spoken. Her name was Kathy. The other was the housekeeper, Marian, whom later didn't like Toby and he the same w/ her. She seen right through him from the gentleman that he pretended to be. Whenever Toby would've been needing spanked/disciplined, even though Marian did too, Caroline disagreed as though Toby would disagree. A few months later after Marian & Kathy were both engaged, Marian tried to fix Caroline up w/ a few men, then came Dwight (Thompson).

Even though Dwight's complete niceness at face value, Toby seen right though the impressionistic facade. Toby seen that Dwight tried too hard. That Thanksgiving, Toby & Caroline had gone to Dwight's w/ him and his kids. His 2 oldest; Skipper, his eldest daughter, Norma and his youngest, Pearl, whom quickly grabbed onto Caroline. Dwight's house was about 1/2 a barracks where German POW's were stationed. After WWII, the barracks were converted into a duplex where Dwight grew up w/ his family on one side and another family on the other. After Caroline & Dwight went out, Toby stayed w/ Pearl. After everyone was in bed, Caroline returned and asked Toby what he thought of the family? His response was that he thought she thought things were being rushed and hurried. When they went to tour Chinook, Caroline found out from the kids the only school they went to was in another town, Concrete, Concrete High. Dwight first won Toby over to Chinook by mentioning a turkey shoot.

When Toby went, after causing trouble again at school and becoming suspended, he was left w/ feeling no choice and gave in, by Caroline's asking, to staying w/ Dwight. He partly agreed to move to Chinook to get away from the others w/ notions of him. This move would be a like a new start. Now and then w/ the overload of chores Dwight had given him, Skipper & Norma let Dwight know that he was overdoing it w/ Toby. Even though Toby was forced to become a Boy Scout thanks to Dwight, Toby DID thoroughly enjoy it! There were times when Toby received criticism for his hands being tarnished literally yellow.This was from hauling horse chestnuts that Dwight assigned Toby to do everyday. When Skipper graduated in 1949, he stayed in Chinook and devoted his money that he made into building his car. One day after delivering papers, Toby would fold up his news bag, cross the bridge leading out of the camp and would hitchhike to different locations and always be back by the time Dwight & Caroline got home from work.

Toby, while being a teen, kept outgrowing his shoes. Two pairs in seventh grade alone. Dwight thought that Toby was growing out of malice. Other than sulking, whenever Dwight lost at a firing range match next to anyone, he would literally yell at Caroline for refusing to appreciate the sacrifice(s) he made by taking in a woman w/ a kid like Toby. If Caroline argued back, Dwight accused her of being disloyal. Sometimes Dwight's picking on Caroline would result in Toby near ready to kill Dwight. After Norma had settled into a new life after graduating & leaving Chinook, she came home for Christmas and brought a man w/ her, Kenneth, that you could tell she didn't love and he was someone that you would rather not know. But she married him and had a child, also w/ a guilt of regret for staying w/ him.

By the time Toby started high school, he had saved about $80.00 in an ammunition box. He was saving his money to run away to Alaska. One thing that Toby & Arthur Gale DID have in common was their way of expending stories of each others lives out of proportion. Stories better that the REAL truth. One night after a kiss from Arthur that surprised Toby, they would at times have blowups but a few days later pick up as though nothing happened.

When Dwight bought Toby a dog from trading in Toby's Windchester rifle w/o consent, Dwight bought the dog that he wanted and became more of the owner that Toby. (As if Dwight bought the dog for himself w/ Toby's earned money.) Champ the dog ended up becoming a notorious "cat-killer" throughout the neighborhood. When it was decided that Champ had to go, Dwight had taken him in the night and just let him go.

After 6 years of no contact, Toby received a letter and a sweatshirt from his older brother in Princeton. Toby wore the sweatshirt everywhere and even styled his hair w/ a 'do called "the Princeton", flat on top, long and swept back on the sides. When Caroline was out, Dwight didn't exactly beat Toby, but he kept the possibility open. After Toby had feared being busted for forging a check from a convience check book at a bank, Toby wanted to hitchhike to Princeton to be w/ his brother and this was his way to get there. During this time period, Toby had become a Life Scout now almost close to Eagle. At a Scouts dinner, Toby ran into a woman who's son was a Scout but she was a woman whom he had run into on his chance at the Bank.

Whenever Toby would hear from his brother, Geoffrey, he would hear word from his dad as well. His dad and his wife were separated. He moved and found work in California. One thing that elated Toby in his brother's letters were that he wanted to see Toby. After Dwight had smashed an actual empty jar of mustard into Toby's face saying it wasn't empty and smacking him in the face after demanding the jar be "cleaned out". Toby left the house, went to a pay phone and called his brother collect. Trying to get the mustard story out, he confided to his brother about Dwight. He told Toby to apply to 2 schools, Deerfield & Choate to get away, thinking he should get in on his accomplishments. Geoffrey told him he'd relay Toby's situation to their dad and said "to get him out. One way or another."

During this time, Caroline was traveling and campaigning for John F. Kennedy. She met a man on the campaign trail and Dwight heard wind of it. When Caroline & Dwight were driving one night, he turned off the road and took her somewhere. She wanted to go back and he refused. He was drinking and pulled his hunting knife from under the seat and put it to her throat, vowing to kill her if she ever left him. When Toby informed his mom about speaking w/ Geoffrey, she teared up. One night when Dwight & Pearl were out of the house, Toby's dad called and when Caroline answered, EVERYTHING about her immediately changed. She was girlish. After a nice conversation, she told Toby not to count on his dad.

When Toby went down to Seattle for the testing in Deerfield, he felt a sense of belonging, like he was home. Arthur and Toby had been close, but at the same time also drifting apart. Arthur had ALOT of things going on including a girlfriend and extracurricular activities. Arthur and his girlfriend, Beth's, relationship troubled Toby. After a one-on-one fight between Arthur & Toby which was a 3-minute fight in the school gym. Dwight felt ACTUAL pride, almost love, in Toby when Toby used the lessons that Dwight taught him. When Toby was rejected from all of the places that he applied to, he never heard back from Choate. A week later, he gets a call from Hill School.

When Toby had accidentally cut his finger w/ a saw at school, he was addicted to the morphine given to him by the nurses. Later on, after getting home, Dwight pushed Toby off his balance, landing him on his finger. Caroline was trying to calm him and it was all over. They were officially getting out. Caroline spoke w/ a parent of one of Toby's classmates and they agreed that Toby could stay the school year. After the classmate, Chuck, drove up to get Toby, he, Pearl & Caroline helped carry things from Dwight's house and into the car while Dwight stayed in the kitchen. Dwight tried to talk things over. They wished each other good-bye as they left - hating each other.

While Toby was staying w/ Chuck Bolger, he was nervous to their being religious. After an incident had happened w/ this family, they didn't have interest in Toby. They wanted Caroline to come and get him. Instead Toby decided to join the army. After much convincing from Caroline based on their circumstances, Toby went back to the Bolger family. After being tangled into a friends drama, Toby received a call from the Hill School, he had been awarded a scholarship to attend. The scholarship was an annual fee of $28,000. The students were different from the ones he knew and he tried to establish himself as one of them.

At the same time, Caroline had found a job as a secretary in Seattle. In June, Toby would be going off to CA. Caroline had been in touch w/ Toby's dad, who had arranged the trip w/ Geoffrey joining later. Now that Caroline started looking for work, Dwight was falling over himself to be nice to her and sort of courting her. Even applying to Seattle to be close to her. When Caroline asked Dwight about the money that he owed Toby from his paper route, the truth came out that he never ever had it saved AT ALL! Dwight had a point of pride to deal w/ the finances, but Caroline didn't want him all worried over it. She wanted everyone to get along. When Toby and Caroline left, they were themselves and happy again.

After they had OFFICIALLY left, Toby kept in contact w/ Pearl. She had felt abandoned after Caroline left. He patronized her w/ her consent. They would sometimes eat lunch together. Pearl had mentioned to Toby that Dwight planned to head down to Seattle to be w/ Caroline, bringing Pearl along for ammunition. When Dwight was gone, Toby and his friend, Chuck, went inside to Dwight's room. Toby had looked around, taking official Scout forms, grabbing 2 shotguns as well as the Marlin & the Garand. He also grabbed the materials that also went w/ them. When they left, they high-tailed it home w/o getting caught.

After Toby had met w/ the guy from Hill School, Mr. Howard, he had taken him to a tailor shop to get suits and be fitted for his needed attire at Hill. Mrs. Howard watched w/ amusement and pride. Toby had gone to 3 pawnshops to sell some things. He was going to sell 4 rifles and 2 shotguns from Dwight. At first, they were ignored. After looking them over in another store, the lady said they were good enough to pawn - not sell. Pawning them for $60.00, all the woman would go for - even though they were worth more than that.

While Toby and his dad were all back East living together w/  his brother Geoffrey supporting them all after their father's breakdown, Caroline took a job in Washington, D.C. Dwight had traveled there and tried to strangle her. Just before she blacked out, she kneed him in-between the legs. After he let go, she grabbed her purse and ran. When Toby got home, Dwight was arrested. Caroline got a cease-and-assist letter and Dwight was back in Seattle.

Toby's schoolwork itself at Hill was not well. He couldn't understand anything.  Toby and his best friend that also was kicked out were full of rage. After wearing himself out, Toby had decided to join the Army.

In 1993, a movie/film was made based on this book and this period of Tobias' life in a movie of the same book title. It starred an UNFORGETTABLE Robert DeNiro as Dwight, Ellen Barkin as Toby's mother, Caroline and Leonardo Dicaprio as the enduring Tobias Wolff.












                                                                               

The REAL Tobias Wolff

Here's MY Opinion:

This book was FABULOUS. For one thing, personally speaking, throughout both the book &  the film of Tobias' life, his story has made me grow up and NEVER want a step dad - due to fear of walking in his/Toby's shoes. That's the TRUTH! This movie/story can teach you ALOT about that type of relationship. I have seen some good step-dad's, but you just never know!

Dead Man Walking

This next TRULY compassionate tale is what one courageous nun, Sister Helen Prejean of the Sisters Of St. Joseph Of Medaille's life was changed when in the 1980s. Beginning as a pen pal to an inmate evolves into something remarkable to a man in Chava Colon Prison Coalition Death Row, Eddie Sonnier.

Sister Helen Prejean, who has witnessed frightening treatment by police, young men picked up, verbally abused, handcuffed and beaten.  Their story begins in the 1980s when she begins writing to inmate Eddie Sonnier who is shortly due to die on death row. The crime Eddie was charged w/ was that he and his brother, Patrick, posed as security officers. They went parking and "accused" a young couple of trespassing. They were handcuffed together in the backseat 20 miles to nowhere. The car was stopped in an abandoned oilfield. The girl was taken by herself in the woods and raped. Then the couple was ordered to lie face down on the ground and shot. They died instantly. Patrick confessed to the murders over several days. One denies the rapes, claiming consent. The other denied it period. At separate trials, each brother was found guilty and sentenced to death.

Sister Helen Prejean

In the months ahead, Patrick was confined to his terror to Sister Helen. She couldn't take that the state of CA killing Patrick in cold blood. She noticed that Patrick's letters to her express gratitude and appreciation for his case. Patrick listed her as a spiritual adviser. When Sister Helen is asked why does she want to do this and become his spiritual adviser? She stated "because Patrick has no one else and visiting prisoners is a Christian work of mercy". Her first visit w/ Patrick is on Sept. 15TH. Even though Sister Helen is nervous to be at the Death Row portion of the prison, Patrick is REAL grateful she came. Even if it's someone to talk to!

After awhile she begins to ease up at the prison, but she wonders how to keep conversation and realizes that all she has to do is listen. She was surprised to see how human and likable he was. They continue to write and her visits continue monthly. He talks about his brothers since the prison doesn't allow for each others' visit. Sister Helen visits Eddie for the first time in March 1983. Pat(rick)'s execution is scheduled for Friday Aug. 19TH. He has stopped eating, running on coffee and cigarettes. They talk for their 2 hrs. Nervousness and prayer as they wait for a call to hold the execution. He consents for Sister Helen to be there if he is due to die. After awhile, he talks to her about the murders.

Eddie was upset. They had just gotten out of jail. He was unglued over a girl who was pregnant w/ his child. No body was supposed to get killed. Patrick felt so much guilt from his crimes, he tried to slit his wrists in prison. In Oct. 1983, Pat's time was running out. Sister Helen heard of a lawyer in Atlanta, defending death-row inmates and she makes a call. Sister Helen was steadily to get Pat a new trial before it was too late.

Pat

When Sister Helen returned to the prison, Patrick is shaven and his hair is combed. She returns w/ Millard. Millard finds a discrepancy that the judge omittedly instructed the jury to find Pat guilty to relieve the State of it's burden to prove intent to kill, which made it easier for a jury to convict. After his meeting w/ Pat, Millard explains his chances w/ Sister Helen. On Feb. 21ST, the Supreme Court denied Pat's petition. When going in front of a meeting w/ Governor Edwards, they argue their case of NOT having Pat put to death, but life in prison. That the death penalty DOES NOT deter the crime. Millard, Kimellen, Joe & Sister Helen work around the clock to prepare for the Pardon Board.

Through MULTIPLE transcripts, there are a few discoveries: 1. Eddie claimed that it was Pat who raped the girl. Later he admitted to having doing it too! Pat's most insistent point w/ Helen was that he did NOT rape the girl. 2. The bodies were found 6-to-8 hrs after their deaths w/ the autopsy following shortly after. 3. Semen was found in the girl, Loretta, but then there was no report of semen identification. 4. The exact point in frame from which the kids were shot (up close or from a distance). On March 30TH, they file the petition w/ the Parole Board. They meet w/ the chairman, Howard Marsellus, and he agrees to study the petition and is more sympathetic to the cause. Sister Helen was so elated.

At the hearing, after hearing all sides, the jury sits out for a verdict. But while in waiting, Sister Helen is approached by the victims families. Lloyd LeBlanc, father of David LeBlanc, asked her "how can she present Patrick's side w/o out going to the LeBlanc's side to hear point?" Sister Helen thought it would just add to their pain. Something she regrets not doing. Clemency was denied 4-to-1 in Elmo's favor. Later that evening, Sister Helen calls Lloyd LeBlanc. She told him to call her if he/his wife need anything.

After Patrick is moved to another section of the prison, he tells Sister Helen that "he doesn't want his Momma or anyone from his family coming to this place". That means Sister Helen is all he's got. She tries to be upbeat. But she couldn't take it if he drops anchor and breaks down. He expresses a letter to the governor that Sister Helen pens. Mentally she can't help but count the days until Pat's execution.

Back in the official offices, Millard and others have been working around the clock drawing up petitions. They included Pat's affidavit stating the circumstances that led him to making the confessions. They are throwing everything they can into this last shot w/ the courts. After talking to the head of Dept. Of Corrections, she is told for the "overall process" to approve of the witnesses. She contends w/ the rules. Her first obligation to be w/ Pat every minute she can. With all the people she comes in contact with at the prison, one thing hits her, "They're getting ready to kill someone."

One thing that Sister Helen did help to change was that when prisoners were in the death house, it would help if the prison fed the visitors of the inmates. After an incident w/ Sister Helen's health and not feeling very well, Patrick was afraid and nervous for her and pleaded for her to take care of herself. Here they are, 36hrs away from death. Sister Helen encourages Patrick to share his feelings and not feel he has to put up a front. She feels humbled that he showed her so much love and no one showed him any. On the day of the execution, her sister, Ann, tells Helen that some of the Sisters plan to come out & protest the execution.

While they await anxiously w/ word from the Governor to stop this execution, every minute, every step, voice, sound makes them nervous of a word heard back. It's 6:00p, time for Pat's last meal. Official word comes in that Pat's bid to the Fifth Circuit Court has turned him down and to proceed w/ the execution.

Looking at her own tray of food that Sister Helen was to eat while Pat ate his last meal, she knows she won't be eating any of it. She had iced tea. Feeling these moments were too unreal. After hearing Pat's telephone conversations w/ Millard, she for sure knows that he is going to die. While talking to Sister Helen, he makes out a will giving Sister Helen all of his possessions. After that, he works on a letter to his brother, Eddie. After coming through and being prepared w/ a shaved head and left pant leg at the knee. A tattooed number in case he was killed in prison. After writing in the Bible and hands it to Sister Helen, she wants to weep due to being there and trying so hard to save his life.

As they are leaving to head to "the chair", Pat has his last cigarette. Sister Helen walks w/ Pat, holding his Bible. He asked that the Warden allow Sister Helen to touch his arm. They walk. When they get there, Sister Helen is moved to the witness room. She silently prays as they pull the switch. Patrick Sonnier dies at 12:15A. His eyes happen to look at Sister Helen's. She then goes about filling Pat's last wish for communion. When they are pulling away from the prison to leave, Sister Helen, Ann & Bill Quigley have to pull over for Sister Helen to vomit.

The next morning after the execution,  Sister Helen's shock & numbness is wearing off. Afterwards, she is LITERALLY being thanked for being there for Pat. Several reporters locally call Sister Helen because they have heard she was a witness at Pat's execution and interview her over the phone. Pat's funeral was following the next day at Rabenhorst Funeral Home. After Sister Helen calls the warden, permission is granted for Eddie to attend Pat's funeral. Pat's mom doesn't attend, due to it being too much for her. The TV cameras are outside. Sister Helen walks w/ a tightly cuffed Eddie to Pat's coffin. Tears run down his face as he feels that 3 people are now dead because of him. Eddie is not allowed to the graveyard. After the services, a man from the postal service asks for Sister Helen. What she receives are 3 large boxes filled w/ Pat's possessions. Sister Helen, her mom & her sister go through and arrange his possessions. Sister Helen begins to think "Who is responsible for this man's death?" Some would say he asked for it or a job was being done. But NO ONE feels any personal responsibility for this man's death.

Sister Helen couldn't help but notice the severance of personal values from public duty. Ex. - a governor personally objects to the death penalty, but allows it to be carried out. She wants him to answer that "if a policy/law is morally wrong, aren't they bound in conscience to oppose it?" He responds saying that "if he's opposed to doing any part of his job, he should quit or refuse to accept it in the first place." When Sister Helen goes to C. Paul Phelps, the Head Of Corrections, how the execution process is designed? After hearing his facts, she states that "she disagrees w/ the rights of a man being killed are protected b/c the witnesses to his death are expected to be polite." She can tell that he isn't that agreeing w/ this bent on revenge, at heart he's a social worker. She was devastated by this meeting.

After Pat, for her there will be no more involvement w/ death row inmates, except Eddie, she believes she is the only one he has.No more visits.When Sister Helen is going to visit the Sonnier family, she is told of them being completely misrepresented by the press. Sister Helen promises to write a strongly worded letter to the editor. They chatted about Pat & his last day. Back in Baton Rouge, Sister Helen packs her things as she prepares to return to Hope House. She works w/ kids and she feels good about being in the flow of normal life again. Due to the articles printed in various papers, she receives personal letters sent to her. The letters possess outrage from consumers of why she would show compassion/be there for Patrick Sonnier. A week after arriving back at Hope House, Sister Helen gets a call from a reporter wanting her to express her side. From Pat's experiences, she begins to see that death-row inmates have a decent attorney for their appeals.

After the training session, Millard, Tom & Sister Helen create a legal office just for death-row inmate appeals. After they enlist a few people, the office is in operation September 1984. After a much needed retreat, Sister Helen calls Bill Quigley and she is invited to a meeting in New Orleans on the death penalty. It becomes time for public education & public witness.

Eddie

Six months after Pat's death, Millard asks Sister Helen to become spiritual adviser to 2 inmates. After the horror w/ Pat, Sister Helen can only agree to one. It's Robert Lee Willie. Willie and Joseph Vaccaro killed and 18-yr-old girl, Faith Hathaway. After they plead guilty, they were sentenced to 3 consecutive life sentences. They had indigent lawyers. The next day, she writes to him and asks if he would like her to be his spiritual adviser. After a long talk w/ the Warden of this prison, Sister Lilliane is approved to serve as a spiritual adviser to an inmate. The most this transaction has cost her is moving from her residence at St. Thomas.

Since Pat's execution, Sister Helen has continued contact w/ Eddie, his mother & his aunt. When Sister Helen first goes into meeting Robert Willie, she tells him that she never thought she'd come back to death row after Pat. She notices how polite he is in his manner and speech. When they talk about his case in the courts, he's been reading every law book he can get his hands on. He was a complete opposite of what she just met. She expected a crazed, paranoid type. But she found a soft-spoken, intelligent & polite young man. On Oct. 26TH, a group of 40 to gather to walk 80 miles to Baton Rouge. Along the way, Sister Helen uses every possible media outlet to provide facts on the death penalty.

When they do the walk, it's a mix of different people. During a 3 day "peacekeeping" march, Sister Helen runs into Vernon Harvey. When she expects him to rage at her, he shows concern for her safety. The next week she meets him at his house. When she meets him and his wife, Elizabeth, they talk about their daughter, Faith. Hearing the pain in their voices, Sister Helen wishes she could take their pain away. When Vernon is crying, reliving this horror story, Sister Helen cries from the horror of this story. Vernon is sternly upset w/ his reasons, but seems talking about the case infuriates him more. Sister Helen becomes his spiritual adviser. The rage & pain from Vernon eclipses everything else. A month or so later, their friendliness is shattered. At Robert Willie's parole hearing, because of Sister Helen's visits/sympathy, they expect to also want to see him die.

After an evening w/ the Harvey's, Sister Helen had never had so much unrequited grief. When Sister Helen goes for her first visit w/ Robert Willie, he seems to be in a world of his own, oblivious to the pain he has caused others. Visiting Robert, Sister Helen is asked to do what they, the prison, asked her to! Accompany him, treat him w/ dignity - but also challenge him to take some responsibilities. When discussing his crimes w/ her, Vaccaro told him to do what he did. Even though they were loaded on drugs & alcohol. They discuss various points of his case. Re-reading his entire case history after a court appearance, during one of his stints in prison, Robert Willie meets Joseph Vaccaro. In August 1984, the Fifth Circut Court Of Appeals denied his petition for a rehearing. On Nov. 12TH, the Supreme Court refused to hear his case. Now the only thing that stands between Robert & "the chair" is the Govenor and the Pardon Board.

John Craft, someone working on local counsel on Robert's case, received help from the newly formed Louisiana Capital Defense Project. Sister Helen is dreading this meeting. This was the same group that denied Pat Sonnier and executed someone else after their denial just a week ago. Straight from this meeting, Sister Helen went right to the Parole Board. Robert's mother, Elizabeth and she felt that since she is the only one w/ Robert, aside from Sister Helen, their case is sunk. After speaking to the Board, Robert is TRULY grateful to Sister Helen for speaking. After about 20 minutes, the Board recommended that their decision for execution stands.

When Sister Helen goes to visit Robert, they talk about those he's hurt and what peace will come of his death to the families. A few days shy from his execution, Robert will only be visited by Sister Helen. When Robert's mom visits him in the death house w/ her other children, that will be hard enough. It still gets to Sister Helen going to the Row, KNOWING what happens to these inmates. Robert made a special request from Sister Helen. That she could bring in a polygraph test for him to take. At times while visiting Robert, some of his actions/mannerisms reminded her of Patrick Sonnier. When it's time to leave, Sister Helen goes w/ a small prayer and promises to be back at 2:00p tomorrow w/ his family. The night before the execution, a close friend/reporter wanted to offer Sister Helen his support. After a complete night of good sleep, the prior days' feelings washed away.

On Dec. 27TH, at 2:00p, Sister Helen arrives at the prison. When she walks in Robert's family is already there. A few hours prior to the execution, Robert confided that he saw that Sister Helen was a good friend he could talk to! It's close to 11:00p-11:30p, at 12:07A, Robert is strapped to the chair and is gone. This time Sister Helen watches intently.

Sister Helen responds to Robert's death by the fact(s) that 2 people are now dead instead of one, with another mother burying her child. She later on receives a call from ABC News w/ Peter Jennings for a story about Robert Willie's execution.While Sister Helen does understand why a family would accept the death penalty for vengeance, she still ponders why if another person is still dead? After Robert's execution, the best thing Sister Helen can think to do is leave and give the family space.

When Sister Helen runs into Elizabeth she wonders why all of the avoidance from her? When Sister Helen is actually told that they wanted to see her she is there for them. What happens is for them to rejoin the living after their daughter's death. Sister Helen meets w/ the Harvey's again on the steps of Congress and speaks against cutting funds for victims' assistance. Sister Helen, the Harvey's & a few of Helen's fellow nuns  are there to see this. After this demonstration, Sister Helen goes to learn and find where she can bring peace w/ going to a Parents Of Murdered Children Support Group. While she's there, she nervously sits w/ the Harvey's hearing these horror stories from parents. She really did learn so much from this.

Beginning from this, she starts an assistance program for murdered victims' families. Lloyd LeBlanc, David's father, spoke for both families at the Pardon Board. After the execution, Lloyd prays for Patrick& Eddie Sonnier's mother, Gladys. Shortly before Gladys' death in 1991, Lloyd went to comfort her. Lloyd would've been content for Patrick Sonnier's imprisonment. At the execution, all Lloyd wanted was an apology which he received. Lloyd forgave him due to the amount of feelings/bitterness remembering the son he would never know.






In 1995, an film was made based on this book and this period in Sister Helen's life w/ the OUTSTANDING Sean Penn as Patrick Sonnier/"Matthew Poncelet" and the REMARKABLE Susan Sarandon as Sister Helen Prejean.

the REAL Angola Prison