A Place Of Yes

This next book was written by someone who branded herself a name on her terms. We all know her from being one of 'The Real Housewives Of NY' and the author of such books as 'Naturally Thin' and the original creator of the 'SkinnyGirl' margarita. From her own words, as if she is LITERALLY on the page, here is the story and steps used of how to make your life fit for you. From the new talk show host herself, here is the story of the one & only classic, Bethenny Frankel.

The first thing Bethenny explains about A Place Of Yes is that it's a way to get through things when you feel it's impossible. You stop being a being a victim and start being the ruler of your own destiny. That is the point and purpose of coming from a place of yes. When you mentally feel it can't be done, you find your place of yes.

The first step towards a place of yes is to let go of the noise. The noise is what you hear from what others think and break the chain, which is what you carry w/ you from your childhood which stunts you.

To being, Bethenny's childhood consisted at times colorful, exciting and sometimes dangerous. But most of the time it was lonely, frustrating & sad. Everyone has their own definition of "normal". For her it was calling the police on her mom and stepfather to stop fighting. It was attending multiple schools due to her parents not remaining grounded. For Bethenny it was partying in clubs and crashing cars at 14 - prior to a driver's license. Bethenny describes her mother as a "wild card". One minute she was a best friend, the next minute she was out of control. She became a mother before she became an adult.

Bethenny Frankel was born in 1970 on her mothers 20TH birthday in Queens, NY. Bethenny's mom was smart, sassy, talented, sarcastic, ballsy, opinionated & a fighter. (Sound familiar - because many of the attributes Bethenny takes after come from her). One thing Bethenny feared to become was her own mother. With her own relationships and multiple marriages, it was something that has haunted Bethenny. The most important thing her mom gave her was an image w/ a star above her daughter's hair. The other part was that Bethenny's mother also showed her daughter is forgetting about her when times were tough, going out to parties, going to war w/ whatever man supports you.

Something I/Jeremy can agree with is a parent that a parent still doesn't see things for what happened. Bethenny's maternal grandfather, her father & stepfather were all horse trainers. With her mom, Bethenny was never sure which side she was going to get. Bethenny's mom would choose men she needed to save her, but also abuse her. Enforcing her daughter "NEVER be dependent on a man". Despite the volatility, Bethenny's mom was just a tortured soul who couldn't get her life the way she wanted. Many of Bethenny's happy childhood memories were about food.

Bethenny at times felt sabotaged by her mom due to being obsessed with being thin. She wanted to be like her mom. Being an only child now is the reason why Bethenny has been more comfortable being by herself. Her mom could be the life of the party, but also volitle. One thing Bethenny states is: Children are smart no matter what adults try to hide. Bethenny, thanks to her mom's influence, began a small stint with wanting to be thin, but has later learned to be more healthier. Breaking The Chain. With her mom and step dad  almost every meal consisted of a restaurant. Thanks to her mom, it could be just as humiliating. Her mom was one dubbed today as a "cool/party" mom. For Bethenny there was NO structure, discipline or guidance. BREAK THE CHAIN, YOU ARE NOT YOUR PARENT. YOU ARE YOUR OWN PARENT!

When it came to her dad, who was a Hall Of Fame horse trainer, all Bethenny seen was a man who saw more care to his horses & dogs than her did people. Bethenny's father, Robert Frankel, was a character who surrounded himself w/ other characters. He had a sleazy streak and because of that it became something Bethenny notices in men. After her parents divorce, Bethenny stated she felt like the rope in a tug-of-war.
Bethenny's mom couldn't really support her daughter. As a successful horse trainer, her dad had those means. Her refused to pay for Bethenny unless she lived w/ him. So she left her mom and lived with her dad in CA.

Even though Bethenny was w/ her dad, she was still in the care of torturous babysitters. She would call her mom so many times crying, wanting her mommy, begging for her to come and get her. When her mom yanked Bethenny away from her dad, it changed the course of her life and Bethenny didn't hear from her dad for years. Bethenny also states why she thinks her money noise comes from her mom. From that specific incident specified, Bethenny states that her dad shut her down on that day and it was never the same. Because of the hard damage her mom did in the relationship w/ her dad, Bethenny states that may have been what permanently damaged their relationship. If they would've ever had had a chance for a relationship  her dad giving up on Bethenny irreversibly changed it.

Remember this: A throwaway comment or spur-of-the-moment decision made in anger or thoughtlessness could still have an impact many years later. In the end, Bethenny really didn't know her dad except from her mom's negativity. She felt a struggle between the time w/ dad and her relationship w/ her stepfather. For Bethenny she felt that her dad wanting the Triple Crown was more important than his daughter. Bethenny initially realized that her own success and independence liberated her from her dad. Bethenny put in the work, did it and made it w/o him. Coming from a place of yes, Bethenny can see from her own dad, the kind of parent she wanted for her own daughter - the exact opposite of what she got.

When Bethenny's father died, he died without ever being sorry. Bethenny did forgive him so she could move on, but he died w/ Bethenny knowing if he loved her AT ALL! Bethenny did go through a range of emotion the day he died. He spent his life alone. Sometimes you are left w/ the aftermath, but it doesn't have to define you.  Bethenny did manage w/ her dad's death to break the chain.

John, Bethenny's stepfather, was a gambler. Bethenny lived an unbalanced life. One minute it's limos, the next they'd be broke. That experience taught Bethenny how to survive and go w/ whatever's happening. Bethenny was really grateful to have John around. He was there for her more than her real parents. Of them all, John was the one who came from a place of yes. When her mother would be gone, it was John who was there for Bethenny.

When Bethenny was 13, she was learning how to gamble at Ceaser's Palace. It was a high-rollers lifestyle. After the horse races, Bethenny would be w/ jockeys afterward and just love the atmosphere. Bethenny discovered that she had a special talent for cooking and entertaining. She could pull it together and make thing happen.

After John had left after Bethenny's mom betrayed him, Bethenny tried to contact her own dad, Robert, and take his name again. When she did that, he wanted nothing to do w/ her because he had cancer, that was why he couldn't be a father. Bethenny would keep trying every few years, but was always cool & dismissive. Bethenny always wanted her parents love, but there was always a price for it. Even though Bethenny lost both of her fathers, walking away feeling like she didn't have one at all.

When Bethenny had her daughter, Bryn, she seen life in a different lens. She seen her parents differently. How they were hurt, why they screwed up, where they came from and how their noise got in their way. So she became softened and less angry. Here is a message to reflect on: Instead of letting the negative parts of your childhood drag you down, spit you out and become a carbon copy of your parents, let them transform you and become who you want to be. BREAK THE CHAIN! 

Relationships get you to a new place and can see help you see what you don't want as well as what you really do want.  (For ex. - when you are w/ someone, no matter the relation, and all they want is to get something from you - then your next contact help you to weed that part out to not have to go through this again - as something to watch out for.)

When/If your are in a relationship, examine your relationship noise. BE AWARE! Relationship noise can make you want things that aren't right for you. It can exploit your vulnerability and take advantage of your insecurity. Coming from a place of yes means you can take your past, turn it around and make it work for you to know what you're looking for.

Bethenny and  her dog, Cookie

The experience that Bethenny shared from being married to her first husband, Peter, showed her that being married at 26, fearing to be too old unless she married, made Bethenny fearful that she would never have the chance. Bethenny married Peter but felt it was from her place of truth. Coming from a place of yes, Bethenny KNEW it just wasn't right. LISTEN TO YOUR GUT! At some point in your relationship are you going to choose it to be torture to work at or make it an easy one?

Throughout boyfriends, Bethenny kept looking for someone to take care of her. It was like she wanted a boyfriend. She thought she needed one. After a relationship that didn't really work out, the best thing Bethenny found was her dog, Cookie. When Bethenny regrouped herself after that relationship, she enrolled in culinary school. Ultimately it led her to a new career and a new life.

Bethenny did go back to one relationship she thought was comfortable and familiar thinking things would change. One thing was for sure: A reality check was imminent. After turning down several of his proposals, Bethenny finally accepted. It was the beginning of the end.  He never really believed that Bethenny would say yes. She was hurt because he didn't really want her. It was a shell-shock for both. Six days later, he came back and proposed again. Suddenly everything was underway. Then Bethenny's panic button went off. This time it was about Bethenny and her emotional baggage. She felt she still had something to prove.

You need to realize that IT'S OKAY to end the relationship you feel isn't right. The relationship ends/ended for a reason. When a breakup happens/relationship ends, what better time to get reacquainted w/ who you are. Focus on yourself. (Unless you are someone that overly loves themselves). You'll find out who you TRULY are and what you're TRULY looking for. What Bethenny found was that if she could make her own money, no dependency on others then maybe she could get past her money noise and not become her mother.

One thing about relationships, TALK ABOUT YOUR FINANCIAL PARTS & what you bring to the table. If not, don't talk about it and let the relationship end. It will anyway if you DON'T TALK ABOUT IT! Never mind how it makes you look, at least you've said your peace.

It was about this time Bethenny was learning the ropes and trying to market herself  as a personal chef to celebrities. Bethenny's photographer boyfriend at the time was trying to help her get her face out there. Even though she was dating this guy, their lives were in DIFFERENT directions. You have to be able to fit together! Coming from a place of yes, Bethenny felt she seen herself doing more than settling down. She was on the verge of doing something bigger and needed a partner to go there with her. To her, it was him wanting her to settle. So, Bethenny ended it with Jason #1.

Jason, Bethenny's husband, proved to her that sometimes what seems like too late is right on time because you are only just ready. Bethenny recounts the time in which she met her husband and the way they got together. When she could admit that they did love each other, Bethenny said yes to herself, opening the door for her to say yes to him. The timing was right in every way. Jason won Bethenny over just by being who he is. Jason gives Bethenny what she's wanted ALL ALONG: Emotional Support. Don't worry about finding a boyfriend/partner, but someone you can be your TRUTHFUL SELF.

When Bethenny first moved to LA, she attended bartending school. When you being taking the first steps, you don't realize where it could turn out later. Sometimes you can work and achieve success later in life. Ever since Bethenny was young, she knew that being a performer was something she was destined for. Bethenny didn't really know much. When she was at N.Y.U., Bethenny did take some theater classes. But she kept waiting for something to happen. Finally something did.

Bethenny and Saved By The Bell

Bethenny was 19 and late for a flight. When she almost missed her seat, as luck would have it, she sat next to a producer of 'Saved By The Bell'. After chatting, he thought that Bethenny had potential and he thought a position was open for a production assistant. Even though it was only an opportunity, she acted on it. It was a temporary job as an errand girl pretty much. Bethenny loved any minute of it. She soaked up every minute she could. Bethenny was 19 w/ ALOT to learn. When Bethenny auditioned for the spin-off show 'California Dreams' after talking a producer into an audition for her, she completely choked.  At least she tried and acted on it. As soon as Bethenny graduated from NYU, she moved straight to Los Angeles.

When a casting director for the LEGENDARY (late) Aaron Spelling told Bethenny she needed to lose weight due to not being skinny enough, it fed straight into her obsession w/ dieting. It ended up changing Bethenny's career path from acting to eating NO FAT. (Talk about Food Noise). She tried EVERY diet and meal plan known. Bethenny did a small stint on the soap opera 'Santa Barbra', in which she received her SAG card. Here is a GREAT motto: Don't complain, don't explain. During this time, Bethenny took other jobs that were more rewarding and interesting than acting.

Bethenny worked at the La Scala in Beverly Hills as a hostess. Working there gave Bethenny connections including personal assistants for some. After a few years, acting wasn't what she envisioned and she enjoyed these other jobs more than acting. It just wasn't the right career for her. The problem was that she just couldn't get to that place and make the character her own. She only knew how to be Bethenny Frankel.

Bethenny was beginning to feel that acting wasn't for her. She could be great at something else. The acting thing, fearing that she'll never become successful; Bethenny wasn't coming from a place of yes. So she quit acting and married her boyfriend, Peter, got a real job in event planning. Sometimes you just have to be realistic and honest w/ yourself. Act on it to where you look at it w/ should-a, could-a & would-a's.

When you are working on your passion and acting on it, one part of it is that, but the other part is to make it yours.  Let your job performance be your resume. Let the quality shine through more than it's title. Making everything your business means treating everything you do as if it were essential part of your business. It also has a bad side to this: Knowing when enough  is enough to take on. While some are working, slaving away without gratitude/appreciation, you begin to act like the job was forced on you. When you come from a place of yes and take pride in your work as well as remembering where you came from, you try harder and appreciate success when it comes. The point of this next story is precisely what Bethenny describes in her book by saying: Everything's Your Business. You give it your all with a place of yes attitude.Something I can PERSONALLY relate to! When I/Jeremy Carroll was 15-yrs-old I was put on hemodialysis at an adult unit (long story), I would arrive hours before my treatment time which was to begin at 10:30A. I would arrive at 9:00 or earlier. I would be so bored that I would just go around and ask for something to do. I would run around and volunteer. I would run errands, get coffee, anything they wanted me to do (within reason). I would continuously do that every treatment. Pretty soon after, staff members would just give me something to do. It just grew from there. After awhile everyone knew me and that was what I became known for at the hospital in which I receive treatment. Even today, some still ask me to do certain things b/c that is, besides being a patient, what people know/knew me for. I went completely outside the box by making myself stand out as a volunteer. I was NOT a "normal" volunteer. So when you are at your job, don't look at it as just that, make EVERYTHING YOUR BUSINESS! 

The purpose of the Skinnygirl brand became Bethenny's purpose in her career. The Skinnygirl is the girl you all want to be, whether the size is 2 or 12. The girl that loves herself and her life.The Skinnygirl name originated from her first book, 'Naturally Thin'. A margarita, something perfect for the health conscious that still wants to have fun. Bethenny nailed down a formula & gave it that name. She bottled it and the brand was born.

Don't think she didn't work hard to get this created. Bethenny REALLY HAD TO POUND THE PAVEMENT! LITERALLY had to start from ground-level. When people began to see her concept, many of them offered to buy her out. Other products from Bethenny were all formed just by doing them in your specified time and your specified place. KNOW WHAT YOU STAND FOR AND MAKE IT MATTER.

Bethenny thought she would be good at event production. She convinced a company for an interview. Based on what little experience she had, they hired her. Her first event was for a movie premiere party for Disney. Considering she really didn't know what she was doing, she had to go from conception-to-completion. Bethenny had NEVER done ANY of this BEFORE, but she pulled it off! Bethenny took a gamble, won & found her calling.

Bethenny found a comfort zone and really picked up speed. After awhile she wanted to move on and start her own company, In Any Event. Eventually things ended w/ the company due to financial aspects in the back. LIVE & LEARN. There were some jobs that Bethenny had taken that didn't end well. There was no room to grow or learn. The point is to LOVE what you do. You have to build on what works in a rational way. Make it your business and NEVER gamble w/ more than you're willing to lose.

Bethenny, at the time, was in a bad place. She needed to be doing something and didn't know what. So, she enrolled in a chef's training program. It offered a program that combines health & food. So, Bethenny decided to give it a try. She soon gave it her all.  She made it her business. Bethenny was in her element.  She emerged as a leader and was soon finding herself. She would drive her teachers crazy. She was a fly-by-the-seat-of-her-pants chef. She had to learn to be precise.

Bethenny graduated w/ flying colors. After that, she got a job managing a small chain of vegan restaurants. She cultivated a small celebrity clientele that loved her food. When the restaurant was closing, Bethenny came from a place of yes and started her own business. She worked her recipes and was soon on to something. Everyone loved her cookies. Everyone would say 'Bethenny Bakes'. After finding a space, Bethenny was baking 400 cookies a day and hanging on by her fingernails.

With Bethenny's luck in cars, it may have appeared to be shitty, but at least she wasn't hung up on it and showed pride in what she could use. (At least she was grateful to have a car.) The cookies started out great but were later shitty thanks to the humidity in a hot car. It was hell. Bethenny would keep putting money out w/ none coming in. Even w/ her pride, the cookies began to crumble. 'Bethenny Bakes' in the end was an epic failure and a great learning experience.

When Bethenny began taking her cookies to a big, national foods trade show. That same week, Bethenny heard about deadlines for an application for a new show called 'The Apprentice'. It was thanks to her experience at 'Bethenny Bakes' that allowed her to show her entrepreneurial skills. Taking her career to the next level. After the failure of  'Bethenny Bakes' she felt she was going nowhere. When Bethenny was out w/ friends, she had heard about the new show, 'The Apprentice'. The show seemed to stand for everything Bethenny loved about business. After her meeting w/ the producers and then about a month later, Bethenny got the call. The producers liked her and wanted more.

After the testing to be considered, Bethenny was chosen to be a first alternate. When she was given her exit, Bethenny thought it would still lead somewhere. MONTHS later, she received a call about doing a Martha Stewart version of this show. They wanted Bethenny to try out for it. Bethenny thought it was fit for her. (When one door closes, another one opens) Bethenny was ready to jump at this opportunity. She knew she could do this. Bethenny was NOTHING BUT her no-nonsense self. She went for it with everything she had. She learned that through this experience on the show to know what you can and can't do, know what you need to maintain your endurance.

Even though Bethenny did not win Martha Stewart's Apprentice and was runner-up, she was a bit relieved. Her real pay-off from the show was the experience from reality TV she gained. Bethenny stated that in the end, even though she got to know the REAL Martha, she learned what kind of businesswoman she wanted to be. Not an heir to someone's empire, but a businesswoman on her terms and on her own making.

Bethenny goes into something I personally live by and ALWAYS have: Separate From The Pack. (Considering my life and my experiences this was something that just came NATURALLY and I HAVE ALWAYS LIVED BY my entire lifetime.) About a year after Martha Stewart's Apprentice, Bethenny was dating a celebrity photographer. She seen that as an opportunity to brush elbows w/ celebrities and others. She used that to rescue 'Bethenny Bakes' and to get other jobs. She did her best to get out in the public and get her name out there. Little-by-little over a few years, Bethenny raised her profile and got a publicist. She got small hits here and there.

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In 2007, Bethenny went to the Hamptons and her life changed forever. It was hot. Bethenny had a headache. Through her boyfriend, Jason #1, Bethenny met Jill Zarin. Jill told Bethenny of her being on a new Bravo show, Manhattan Moms. Bobby brought a producer over to met Bethenny. After conflicting her options, when Bethenny made the decision to say 'Yes' it was the best decision she ever made. A cast mate on the show called it 'The Real Housewives Of  NYC'. Bethenny would use the show for an opportunity. When she first began filming, Bethenny only had $8,000 to her name. She couldn't pay rent. She shopped on E-Bay. This whole thing in which she was embarking on  .      .      .  it just wasn't her life.

Because of the conscious way not to get sucked into becoming a "Housewife" and maintaining her integrity by not adapting their lifestyles, Bethenny was free to be just herself. Because she was everything that the Housewives weren't, Bethenny was the one that was the most relatable. She would get a flood of communication from others saying they could relate to her by what they seen on the show. During season 2, Bethenny really was treating the show as a business w/ Bravo and forging a strong relationship w/ the network. (I help you, you help me) They did by giving her her own show.

Doing season 3 gave Bethenny doubts due to the insane roller coaster. Even though she agreed to stay, Bethenny felt a tinge of regret. Even w/ 2 books out, beginning to film her own show and a thriving career, Bethenny felt her castmates were turning on her. It began to have a weird atmosphere. Housewives was a great run. Bethenny is GRATEFUL to Bravo for the experience. It was just time to move on! In any situation, no matter what it is, the best way to move on is to own it. If you've done wrong, it's okay -as long as you just own it! You can move on after that. Bethenny did have an opportunity to see herself coming from her own show, Bethenny Getting Married? Her show was one that regular people experienced  everyday. It was REAL!

Being who you are, figuring out how and making it work and owning it is what Bethenny Getting Married? was all about. The show is her life and the people who are in it: Jason, Bryn, her assistant Julie & Cookie, her dog. When it came to marrying Jason, Bethenny had ABSOLUTELY NO DOUBT about it. Jason Hoppy is the man she wanted to be with. Bethenny was so grateful and sentimental.  When it came to birth and motherhood, BOTH Bethenny and Jason DIDN'T KNOW A THING about what was in store.

Having her daughter, Bryn, life wasn't the same. It was a whole new universe. They are raising a daughter. Bethenny is in a calmer, happier place and very much moving forward. Coming together and owning it! Bethenny brings up an entire new point: Coming Together. That means attempting, learning & getting better at understanding others, rather than criticizing them. Everyone has their own normal as w/ every family does too! THAT"S THE TRUTH!! You have to find your own normal because there is no objective kind. When you come together, of course they'll be conflict, but choose, accept, adapt. That's coming together.

Look at it another way (this is something I see personally from seeing one "relationship" all the time) If you don't deal w/ your differences  in the beginning, the cracks in the foundation of your relationship will crack until you have crumbles. When it comes to Bryn, it's not just mother and daughter with a few specks of Jason here & there. It's a team. A family doing it all together. It's their place of yes. Bethenny feels that she has come full circle. From the child of an absent father to the husband of a wife who is present every day. From the daughter of a troubled mother to the mother of a beautiful daughter. As a mother, Bethenny feels free to remarkably be herself. (Love Can Build A Bridge)

Katherine Hepburn

The last piece of advice from Bethenny is simply: Celebrate! Celebrate your milestones and achievements. Be happy and celebrate. It's impossible to do without gratitude and perspective. Make happiness part of your business. Katherine Hepburn said it best: "If you obey the rules, you miss all the fun." That quote is something I can personally attest to! "Make the most of every moment and have fun with it."

Since this book's publication, Bethenny, along with being an author, chef, reality star, wife & mother, she can add another title onto her resume: talk show host. As of this year, 2012, Bethenny has currently been working on her new daytime talk show, 'Bethenny', that premiered in the fall.

It's Not Really About The Hair

This is the TRUE story of someone with a balls-to-the-wall, don't give a shit outlook. With an in-your-face honesty and the one who that brought you Tabatha's Salon Takeover, here is the story of the one & only Tabatha Coffey.

As someone who has redefined the word/term B.I.T.C.H., someone who Brave, Intelligent, Tenacious, Creative & Honest and has both book smarts and street smarts. Tabatha's parents were strip club owners. She grew up living LaCage aux Folles A.K.A. The Birdcage - so to speak. Growing up in her parents' clubs showed Tabatha the sacrifices one must sometimes make to live an honest an authentic life. Some of the performers that worked for Tabatha's parents were TG (Transgender). These "girls" were just trying to be themselves. With what they were already going through, Tabatha's mum was always there for her and the performers for any kind of support. She was a mother figure to these "girls".

With this life in the background, Tabatha attended a posh private school. Even at a young age, Tabatha knew to distinguish what was real and ersatz. She knew that compared to her classmates, her life was far more genuine. She was also at a young age aware and appreciative of how hard her family had to work to give her the life that she had.

Tabatha was transfixed by the world she lived in. Listening to these women, Tabatha would sit and sew and was captivated by their chatter. Being around these women and their Honesty - From dressing to language to their makeup, it's AUTHENTICITY was what she loved about it. Tabatha's first job doing hair was backstage at these clubs. The drag queens taught her how to make someone look on the outside the way they feel on the inside. Tabatha says it best: Authenticity is the most attractive quality a person can have.

Tabatha states that she was always the fat & obese kid in school. While the kids in school got something from a truck at lunch, Tabatha would receive a homemade meal from her mum. Even w/ her weight and having asthma, she didn't feel stigmatized and didn't care to befriend any kids. Out if the many Tabatha learned from growing up w/ drag queens was that you have to march to the beat of your own drum and fuck anyone who doesn't like the rhythm. One reason why Tabatha didn't love being around her own age group of kids was because she really wasn't one. Even as the baby of the family, she was living in a grown-up world. (Something I can personally understand and sympathize with). Just a few years later, Tabatha spotted a French Vogue and she was enamored & reveled in it. When she was a teenager, instead of trying to fit in w/ everyone, she thought FUCK fitting in.

After a brief hair course in London at 18 yrs old, Tabatha was in love with London when she got back to Australia. She moved to London and had an adventure. Tabatha loved the challenge it brought trying to succeed in another country. Tabatha received training working for Vidal Sassoon. In London, Tabatha was losing any self-consciousness that she had due to expressing herself so freely. When Tabatha was hairdressing, she felt like a rock star. That was what she loved about London. If someone was sharp w/ her, she had no problem giving it right back. It wasn't until she moved to America that Tabatha was serious about exercise and losing weight. She wanted to belong and make friends. Tabatha was liking herself more with the weight she lost. It wasn't so much w/ her looks, but living honestly as who she was.

Tabatha had big balls.  Big balls is about standing up for what you believe in until yo are faced with several directions. That is what Tabatha describes as forming your own moral compass. When the family was in trouble, Tabatha's dad would want to run. Her strong will and confidence is something she gets from her mom. Whatever works to get the job done - even including swearing like a truck driver - if it works. Look at it this way, Tabatha's own moral code is: B.I.T.C.H.

Even though Tabatha does confide that her dad was a drunk, not an abusive one, but someone who would throw furniture or put a fist through a wall. If he was in a drunken rage, her mom would fire right back. When Tabatha's dad would be sober and try to make-up the next morning, Tabatha knew early on not to trust him and fall for it.

After Tabatha's parents closed the strip clubs they opened a sex shop. Prior to that it had gotten to where Tabatha's dad had said to have killed himself. But he didn't. He had really taken all the family money, skipped town and left. After about 18 months after the family moved to Melbourne, Tabatha began to work as an apprentice for a hairdresser, found a girlfriend and began to let go of resentment toward her dad. What's worse was that Tabatha's dad stated that she/Tabatha didn't exist in divorce papers to her mum. While at a mall one day, Tabatha spotted her dad, who tried to ignore her, but Tabatha wouldn't let him do that. She found that she didn't need a dad in order to be whole and she never saw him again.

I can WHOLEHEARTEDLY agree w/ Tabatha personally when it's said that as members of the LGBT community marching to the beat of your own drummer. No pride parades needed. It's about defining yourself in your own way. Even though Tabatha dropped out of school at 16, which bored her anyway, when she made a deal w/ her mum to finish school and began apprenticeship. When Tabatha lived on her own, she spent quality time w/ her first girlfriend, Sandy.

Tabatha never felt the need to have that grandiose coming out entrance  Since she was taught as a kid to accept others, to her it was normal, so screw everyone else. Because of the environment in which she was raised, Tabatha thought her mum would have no reason to object to Tabatha's relationship w/ Sandy - WRONG! Let's just say there were derogatory remarks and pissy comments that said her mum was disgusted! It was shocking & disappointing. Because Tabatha wanted her mum's approval, she dumped her girlfriend and followed the hetero rules just 2 yrs after coming out.

But Tabatha had soon had enough. She put it best: You have to find yourself if you are going to live your own life. There was a period where Tabatha didn't date anyone but herself. She had to build her own identity. Figuring out who she was and how to be herself. When Tabatha was w/ men, she was someone else. When she was w/ women, she was herself. Own who you are and know that that's okay. From the time she was a little girl. Tabatha went with her mum when her mum went to get her hair done.  Tabatha loved the salon, the atmosphere and watching hairdressers work their magic on people. So at the age of 14, her mind was set. Tabatha would be a hairdresser. Tabatha's mum offered her daughter up as a free assistant doing labor & grunt work for the experience. Tabatha loved it. It taught her ALOT including humility and respect. (Something that is lacking and sorely missed in today's youth.) Tabatha didn't see any of it as slave labor, just working toward her goal.

Tabatha was also taught that when you have a love and passion for what you do, people will teach you things and give you opportunities without having to ask. Tabatha LOVED her profession and learning what she could. She knew she had picked the right profession for her and never looked back. When Tabatha worked at a salon in Surfer's Paradise, she got along fairly with the boss, Stephen, but his wife was a bitch, who ran the business.  She was fair and treated the salon employees like family. If you messed up at work, you were fired. She taught Tabatha ALOT about how to be a tough but fair boss. Tabatha then took those lessons into her career.

Tabatha's idol whom she learned from was Vidal Sassoon, the hair maven himself. In 1988, Tony & Guy were shaking things up in the hairdressing world. Tabatha wanted to be apart of that energetic motion, so she quit and left working for Vidal Sassoon. Tony & Guy's way of hair was more edgy and messy that Tabatha needed to to master. The experience at Tony & Guy helped unleash Tabatha's creativity. Her stint w/ Tony & Guy was a key part in the evolution and development as a hairdresser. Tabatha's first opportunity to meet her idol came after finishing the first season of Bravo's Shear Genius. During the show backstage, when Tabatha came in contact w/ her idol, she began to cry. That experience meant ALOT to her. Tabatha states and I personally agree 100% w/ her that just because something may seem small and petty, you should give it your all because it could lead to something huge. Everything she'd done led her to where she is now.

After her places of employment, Tabatha was working at another salon in London when at the time was very laid back and totally unorganized. It was okay to be late to work, being late from lunch to shop and just just relaxing on the job. It became a problem for Tabatha when she would let her standards slip. Because of her salon owner at the time didn't want to be the bad guy who told people what to do, when this man was gone on his annual trip, Tabatha was fed up and couldn't take it. Tabatha had always been the one at the salon early before everyone else and getting the place ready. After taking on extra responsibilities and talking to the owner of this salon, Tabatha was asked to manage the salon for him. It was the beginning of her boot-camp.

Whenever there was arguing and confrontation, Tabatha set them straight. The boss' wife called Tabatha thanking her for the difference that she made. With the boss' support, Tabatha ran the salon more efficiently. After 7 months, Tabatha's efforts were paying off.

In 1992, Tabatha had enough of England and moved to the United States. When clients seen the intensity that Tabatha put into a haircut, they asked for her. Tabatha built up her clientele that way. The way Tabatha seen it, the "more popular American girls" were Barbie dolls - Literally. So Tabatha at one point, tried to fit but no one but herself, she let others' opinions push her into the opposite direction. Through her eyes, she thought America was about the picture that's painted on the outside. Tabatha learned QUICKLY that the whole fitting in thing wasn't for her and it wasn't that simple.

After a BOTCHED surgery of breast augmentation, Tabatha suffered MONSTROUS pain four days later. She kept having NOTHING BUT TROUBLE. After she sued the surgeon and winning the case, Tabatha felt she did the right thing because as a society, if we don't stand up for ourselves, then who will?

Tabatha made a good point when you thoroughly look at when she says that when people are going through shit, they tell their hairdressers secrets they won't tell anyone else, like confessing to a priest. Some times as just an outside person to talk to and reveal to! Sometimes a client comes in wanting an old look they used to have just to feel the way they did during that period. That's why at times it not really about the hair.

After a BOTCHED breast augmentation surgery, that is why it is why  it's so important to feel good about yourself inside/out. One thing Tabatha stresses is that through ANY situation, the BEST thing you can do is to go with your gut. By this time, Tabatha was ready to open her own business. She opened her salon, Industrie Hair Gurus in 2002. It was funny when Tabatha found others who watched the show and are intrigued and ask questions. In 2007, Tabatha was reached for a casting of Bravo's show called 'Shear Genius'. Without telling anyone, once again Tabatha followed her gut and went to the open casting call. Her honesty won them over. Even though Tabatha didn't win 'Shear Genius', she won something more valuable. Due to her competing on the show and due to being voted Fan Favorite, Tabatha won a $10,000 prize and got a call from Bravo for a meeting.

It also led to her own show, Tabatha's Salon Takeover. When Tabatha did 'Shear Genius', one thing you DID SEE was the REAL her. No fluff. No Puff. No Editing. Because of who she was and who she was paired with on the show, Tyson, and the shitty job he did, they were both sent home from the competition.  At least Tabatha was honest! Through hardships in business and life, one thing is TRUE, you must GO W/ YOUR GUT and LEARN THAT YOU'LL SURVIVE.

Tabatha admits that she was surprised when Bravo execs offered her her own show! Tabatha came up w/ the B.I.T.C.H. acronym after viewers assorted her brutal honesty in what they seen  from 'Shear Genius'.




One thing I did learn from this book is that IT'S OKAY TO BE WHO YOU ARE AND TO ALWAYS GO W/ YOUR GUT!   So Here It Is. . . .


In The End Of This Book, one thing I did learn from Tabatha Coffey is to be TRUE!! It got me to answer one seething question: Who am I/Jeremy Carroll? I am a young person with a medical problem who happens to be gay! It's who I am.

All That Is Bitter & Sweet

This next story/book DOES NOT tell the usual actresses story. While telling the stories of others w/o a voice, she gives them one and at the same time telling her own story of survival. This is not about the roles she's had in Hollywood. But more of the voice she's been given and the way she uses it. This is Ashley Judd.

Originally born to Michael and Diana Ciminella, who was 17 at the time. They had married due to the unplanned pregnancy that resulted in daughter Christina (Wynonna). The twist in the story was of Christina's paternity, which they learned years later. She/Ashley regales her family history and the generational troubles they endured. It was a blind date w/ friends that Michael Ciminella met a 14-yr-old across the street, neighbor and friend, Diana Judd. Diana claimed to never have loved Michael, but was impressed by the comfortable lifestyle suited by the Ciminella family. The Judd family history itself was strange.

In the summer of 1963, after it was revealed that Diana's brother was diagnosed w/ a deadly form of Hodgkin's Lymphoma, they were in OH and Diana stayed behind. She stayed due to starting as a high school senior. It was also the first time that Diana was left alone in the house w/ a boy she had been dating, Charlie Jordon. That first time w/ Charlie resulted in pregnancy. Diana, it seemed in a state of despair & urgency, determined that Michael Ciminella was the baby's father. Once she set this story in motion, Diana committed to it completely. On January 3, 1964 Diana Judd and Michael Ciminella were married in a sad ceremony in VA. It was regarded as a shameful occasion.  Diana stayed w/ the Ciminella's while Michael stayed in school in Lexington. Diana was a scandalously knocked up teen living w/ adults she barely knew. Knowing their son was not really the father of her baby.

Christina Claire Ciminella was born on 5-30-64. After several months of living together and more experience, Michael began to wonder if Christina was really his daughter. He couldn't really remember when he figured it out, but it didn't really matter to him. He loved/accepted Christina as his own. After a job promotion in 1967, they uprooted to California. Diana was pregnant shortly after. The following April, Ashley was born. Christina thought Ashley was a gift just for her. After about a year or so, the marriage between Diana and Michael began to deteriorate. Diana was working as a model and a secretary part-time w/ hopes of somehow breaking into showbiz. When things went south for Diana & Michael, their divorce finalized in 1974.

Diana & her daughters

It was clear at an early age that Christina had a musical gift. Ashley loved her big sister madly through the picking and the tickling. Christina was Ashley's protector. Ashley felt at a young age that singing w/ her mother & sister, crazily singing off-key, she was being laughed at. She was hurt real bad by it and never sang again. That was initiative enough for her. Right before entering first grade and Diana's Hollywood dreams weren't working out, Diana headed back to Kentucky to study for a nursing degree. Even though Diana never stayed in one place, Ashley between the ages of 5-to-18, bounced from LA to Kentucky, to Northern California and back. She would be left and be passed around by others, sometimes for days at a time or to another relative without warning. Ashley felt like an outsider watching her mom follow her dreams. She would wait and watch for her mom's attention - but it never came.

Mostly they fought. Michael, their dad, wanted to spend more time w/ Ashley & Christina. But their mom wanted to drive him away from home. When she couldn't stand it anymore, Diana moved out. The next summer, after still living w/ their grandparents, Diana swooped up and picked up her daughters. Because Diana was always busy w/ school, Ashley was always by herself or making up her own friends. When Diana was home from school, leaving Ashley to learn on her own. This was the same time that Diana & Christina began to fool around w/ singing and learning music. In sixth grade, Christina flourished and practiced on the guitar and piano. When their mom was at school, Christina would be practicing. Diana would go to school during the day and worked as a waitress at night. When it came to their dad, other than a figure their mother hated, he disappeared from their lives.

Around this time, Diana & Christina were serious about becoming a musical duo. Christina just felt peace w/ a guitar in her hands. Diana had bigger dreams and needed Christina's cooperation. Whenever they were together in music, it was as it DO NOT DISTURB us Ashley. "She was a stranger in he own family." Ashley does have a love of the GENUINE outdoors and animals. Her animals gave her what her parents had been able to be sustained from her childhood - the invaluable feeling of being the center of somebody's world. Ashley shares that she has chosen to not have kids when there are children who are already here that need time, love, attention and care. Ashley's first bout w/ depression began at age 8. She would lie in bed for days on end. No one seemed to notice. Anxiety and insomnia and more occurred before she realized it was depression throughout her life. She had just finished 'A Time To Kill' and went straight into 'Norma Jean And Marilyn' as well as 'Kiss The Girls'.

After the house she had been renting in Malibu burned to the ground, Ashley stayed w/ her mom, pop or at Sisters/Christina's. Ashley's mild depression came from unresolved childhood grief. Sometimes in a deep sleep, emotions would flood unexpectedly. Releasing all the pent-up sadness. Ashley was staying w/ her mom a few times. After she needed to get the advised help, Ashley moved out of her moms and slowly she began to heal.

Thanks to the moving around when she was growing up, Ashley was unevenly educated when she arrived in college. She attacked academic life in a way that viscerally sparked her. She felt a happiness for the first time living away from home & family. Ashley joined every progressive cause she could, led campus wide walk-outs protesting a university trustees use of a racial epithet. The life of services that Ashley devotes herself to, without intention, helped heal the wounds of her own childhood. When Ashley graduated from her honor's program in 1990, she didn't think it was odd that she had NO guests in attendance; but was surprised to see other kids' families there. In the same year, Ashley was torn between spending the next 2 yrs in Africa as a missionary or filling the same deeper impulse to act. Acting helped her survive and it enriched her life. At 22, if she didn't give acting a try, she feared it would be something she regretted her whole life.

After 3 days of arriving in LA, Ashley was enrolled at the Playhouse West Acting School, Ashley began to audition and got work immediately under a show that allowed her to join SAG (Screen Actors Guild). Next was a role on NBC's Sisters w/ Swoozie Kurtz. In driving from Tennessee, Georgia & Alabama, Ashley had taken one lane country roads and was witness to poverty that SHOCKED her. The type of poverty and people she only thought lived in books. After Ruby in 1993, before she knew it, being a working actor & movie star was normal. After she had established herself as an actress, Ashley felt she had abandoned herself from the person she was at 22. But she found the way to get there.

When Ashley received a letter to become a YouthAIDS ambassador, she realized the help she could be doing and did her research. After she had done her work, she became affluent in what is known today as the ONE Campaign. After a GRUELING day and ready to collapse from exhaustion, after a snafu with the water temperature for a shower, Ashley had an epiphany realizing those that DON'T have safe water and began to feel grateful. That was when she accepted the offer to work w/ the ONE Campaign. After a GRUELING day and ready to collapse from exhaustion, after a snafu w/ the water temperature in the shower, Ashley had an epiphany Realizing those that DON'T have safe water and began feel grateful. That was when she accepted the offer to work for the ONE Campaign.

Ashley's itinerary after arriving in Cambodia was to visit several meetings and places to learn intensively about HIV and other preventable diseases and effective grass-root remedies and share them w/ the world. After she learned of the treatment on Cambodia and the torture that Cambodians went through was stunning. Emotional flooding caused her to break down a few times. The violence & torture was one o bring a tear to your eye. That was why Ashley fights so hard for HIV/AIDS prevention after hearing these stories. Ashley sent a positive message from her trip to Thailand, "If a famous woman isn't afraid of catching HIV from AIDS patients, you shouldn't be either."

Throughout this trip and all of the emotional HELL this put her through, Ashley needed a spiritual rejuvenation in faith. The heat had done her in as well as the trip being too emotional and too intense. By this time, Ashley was a full-blown evangelist for PSI (Public Service Informer) emphasis on prevention of HIV/AIDS.

When Ashley returned home to TN, she had a culture shock that America had so much while others had so little. Upon Ashley's return, PSI invited her to join their board of directors. Something she was overjoyed to accept. After the 2005 Golden Globes for which her and her co-star Kevin Kline were nominated Best Actor & Actress in De-Lovely, Ashley was on a trip to Africa. An impact was made w/ kids in the school(s) where it was cool to abstain.

Ashley's mentor is Archbishop Desmond Tutu. Meeting him was the emotional tug that she needed. After a deeply profound conversation w/ the Archbishop, he told her a story w/ an underlining lesson that she picked up on. Ashley was really GRATEFUL for the experience w/ her mentor, hero & friend. After 20 days, Ashley was due to come home.

Ashley's film career was thriving. She was frustrated w/ filming both 'Bug' and 'Come Early Morning' due to assistant problems. Many problems from her depression resulted in her childhood and her family's history in the context of her adult perplexities. Something she realized she never looked at before. With a therapist, Ted, she began to revisit her childhood and reassess the messages given to her by her family while she was growing up that have shaped who she is. Something else Ashley began working on was her relationship w/ her father. Although it was uneasy, there was so much unacknowledged pain, loss & grief around their relationship. Being vulnerable w/ him was COMPLETELY overwhelming.

For the FIRST time, Ashley was able to tell her dad what growing up was like for her. After she had told him EVERYTHING, from being left alone as a kid- to-his behavior when they were together - EVERYTHING, he took it in - occasionally giving observations and more. He validated ALOT of things. He really gave her a BIG gift. Ashley was being taught ways to let go of reactions to those who had done damage to her. Although the process took time, Ashley went from keeping her dad at arm's length to becoming her father's daughter again.

Ashley was in her 30s before she was fully able to take in both sides of her parents story of the girls' growing up, evaluate it and come to her own conclusions. With every truth she was hearing, Ashley was plagued by physical emotions that confirmed what was said. Breaking into the entertainment business was really Diana's obsession. After managing to meet Merle Haggard at a concert backstage in the parking lot, Christina & Diana ended up traveling w/ him for the next few days. Ashley was left home alone during that time. Ashley would hear stories all the time about her mom and sister out in LA. When she was staying w/ her grandmother, Ashley was told she would be staying w/ her dad, whom, at this point, she hadn't seen in years.

Wynonna & Naomi

Even though her dad couldn't grasp that it was depression, at least he was there. Ashley felt that what she wasn't getting  from her mom, she got from her dad. Meanwhile while Ashley & her dad were building a life for themselves, she received a letter from her mom stating that they had changed their names. Diana changed it to "Naomi' and had retaken Judd as a last name. Christina had chosen "Wynonna". Ashley had just turned 11 and knew there was no place for her in their world.

In 1979, Naomi & Wynonna settled in Nashville. At this point, Ashley's parents agreed to share custody changing during alternative years. When Ashley's grandfather died, it did help knowing that she was wanted in her grandparents' care. Naomi took nursing jobs to pay the rent, eventually settling into a 3:00-11:00p shift. Wynonna & Ashley would bond over the shared neglect they had from their mom. One day a print ad producer from New York City knocked on her door and wanted to use the property of the house in an ad. He had encouraged Ashley to model in competitions in NY.

When an old friend of Ashley's parents had heard of this opportunity, she had sort of been a godsend to Ashley and saved Ashley from her lonely life. She had offered to to pay for Ashley's trip accompany her to NY. Because of her legal name when she got there, Ashley Ciminella, agencies were expecting Ashley Judd, which confused everyone. Naomi & Wynonna's manager had told Ashley that she legally needed to change her name to Judd for contractual reasons. After an incident that led to living w/ 2 girls who were very protective of Ashley and were fun, they were relieved to send Ashley home to Tennessee and resume school. When she got home, Ashley found that modeling wasn't for her. She collapsed into a NEEDED hug when she was met by Piper, an old friend of her mother's.

Wynonna & Naomi released their first album in 1983. When Ashley was in the eleventh grade and sick of her life alone and always in trouble w/ her absent mom, she called her dad and asked to officially live w/ him. She had had enough. When she was w/ dad, things weren't much better. A next door neighbor who could tell she was the daughter of an addict. She would look out for Ashley and care for her. Ashley's dad, Michael's, drug disease was worsening. He was in a mode of rage about the girls' mom when he confessed to Ashley about Christina's paternity. Ashley was shocked - She had no idea. After that EVERYTHING from past-to-present made sense. After SPILLING EVERYTHING to Naomi & Wynonna's manager and hearing something was wrong, Ashley was sent to live w/ her grandmother. After that, Ashley dad didn't take it so well, in fact, throwing himself out of her life for good.

When Ashley moved in w/ her grandmother, she received everything she ever dreamed of: a stable and loving home. She went from nearly failing school to finishing the top 10 in her school. Even though Ashley and dad remained estranged for years, the Judds rocketed to stardom in her college years. Ashley loved attending her mother/sister's shows. It was at a therapist's office that all 3 girls, Wynonna, Naomi & Ashley, went b/c Naomi seemed to keep holding the truth. Ashley went and told Wynonna the truth about her paternity. All of this circulated due to a FALSE, but still out there, according of Naomi's biography. Naomi cried & buried her face in Wynonna's lap.

When Ashley's went to visit sister at the Shades Of Hope Rehab, Ashley was given a suggestion by an employee, write her mother a letter w/ her non-dominate hand and it was like it was written by her 2-yr-old self. EVERYTHING poured out. From the she did when she was a kid. The rehab began to work w/ Ashley as well as her own problems. Whenever pent-up feelings Ashley was having began to alleviate the body. At the end of Wynonna's treatment, Ashley was asked to stay to work on her own pent-up problems. She stayed there to work on the Lost Child behind.

When Ashley announced she was receiving help, others seen it as about time while some started planning her treatment itinerary. The faculty staff itself had weird rules. As Wynonna went to give her baby sister, Ashley, a big hug after her first day, Ashley was cracking and becoming undone. After a night without sleep, Ashley faced what she was so afraid of - losing her mind. After she had confronted that, she worked her hardest on her treatment plan in her allotted time. When someone else in her group therapy would tell their story, Ashley's emotions let it go. She could begin to feel and cry. She began to cause/effect from her childhood. The basic steps used for alcoholics w/o her being one could be of the same value and become revolutionary. Ashley turned EVERY emotion and struggle faced over as in recovery to a higher power. It has worked REMARKABLY for her ever since.

Something remarkable that did happen involving a teabag mad Ashley feel to laugh, along w/ the group in therapy, and NOT feel laughed at. Everyone could see the change in her. The faculty was leading Ashley to only a process and journey that was safe for her to finally do so. It was all about control.

Ashley began to put herself to doing good will and effected herself and began to sleep again. She came to find that she didn't need approval, permission or forgiveness from anyone. Throughout Ashley's progress, she felt important in the life of her family for the FIRST time. She had compounded ALOT during her family week at the treatment facility. Before her release, Ashley had written a good-bye letter to her depression.

When Ashley was well enough, she met w/ Salma Hayek on a trip to Guatemala and more traveling as a YouthAIDS ambassador. A year after getting treatment, Ashley felt prepared to take on a trip to India. The reasons Ashley does this is because as an empowering adult, she knows that she is nurturing and loving the lost, little child inside of her. Even w/ all the good work she was accomplishing around the world, she felt there was more to do and never enough. During these trips, Ashley was known as "the Vanna White of condoms". Throughout this journey and 11 countries, Ashley gave herself a break and visited a sanctuary she'd heard about. She was grateful that the countries she visited w/ great challenges, her work, as well as PSI put her on the right side of history. Ashley's faith, hope & core was renewed.

After all the time Ashley had spent in these countries, coming home to the U.S. was a culture shock. She went to see a psychologist because she was still feeling very sick. During the appointment, the dam broke and Ashley couldn't stop crying. The old feelings began to creep up. A jump into a cold creek while on a walk w/ her husband, Dario Franchetti watching, an internal click came that assured Ashley that she would be okay.

Ashley had always wanted to go to graduate school. After talking it over w/ someone, it was suggested that Ashley attended Harvard. When it came time to apply, she received shocking help from her dad. Since the family week at Shades Of Hope, Ashley and her dad had gotten close. After clearing her schedule around, she moved to Cambridge for the year.

After one film to dip her toe back into acting, a movie came along 'Tooth Fairy'. After that, other projects would have to wait until after graduation from Harvard. While she in math class, it was the most intimidating thing she'd done in her life. Problems from the past would creep up. Different ones this time. Problems/snags you were hit with 20 years ago in school (ex.- reading/math) were still here today. Ashley's was algebra. (Something ALOT of people can relate to!) A few days later, Ashley's schoolwork was returned to her. It was handed back w/ A's. She had managed to conquer what she hadn't been able in school as a kid - high school math. On her own. Ashley had a series of unfortunate encounters w/ being sick. A verified case of H1N1, followed by flu/sinus infections. When Ashley's dad, Michael, came she took full advantage of his care for her. Ashley officially graduated from Harvard Kennedy School in My 2010.

Since this book's publication, in 2012 Ashley has taken back to acting w/ the now cancelled series for ABC called 'Missing' about a C.I.A. woman searching to find her son who was studying abroad.

The Fabulist

This story is one to be taken at face value. It tells of a story that is TRUE but written to be FICTION. It begins w/ a young journalist making his rise in the business working at the Washington Weekly until he manages to destroy it. This book tells more of the story and creativity behind the scandal that rocked the journalistic industry.

When Stephen Glass was asked to reference the people in his stories, he always stated that his information was at home. Asking if he could run there and find it, he was REALLY covering his tracks. After Stephen had asked his brother, Nathan, who was in college, for help, Stephen had found out that his brother admired him. Nathan had read all of Stephen's stories. When they hung up, Stephen had a sense that his brother knew what he was up to! Throughout the night, Stephen kept covering his tracks.

When Stephen was late w/ his stories, it angered his boss. Because of Stephen's lateness, it made his boss miss out on time w/ his daughter, who was home from college. When his editor, Robert, began to question Steven, he had been called in by Nathan whom he persuaded to act like an associate that he/Robert was searching for. When Robert asked to be taken to the EXACT site that Stephen's story took place, Stephen was trying to fit surrounding locations as part of his lie. During the search for the truth and "missing puzzle pieces", Robert asked for the FULL truth of what was to be found at where they were going. Stephen began to cry - heavily. Admitting he didn't go to this conference, Stephen lied out an apology. At this point, lying became more than a comfort, but more of a vitality.

When Stephen & Robert returned to the office, Stephen was being questioned about a different story. Steven's boss REALLY was ready to go to bat for Steven if he could PROVE that these people existed. After Steven was told by Robert the HUGE privileges and responsibilities of journalism and how Stephen destroyed it by his FALSE stories, he was FIRED! As Stephen was leaving, he ran into Lindsay, an associate he worked with who helped him. She helped him exit the office easily without ALOT of people there. One-by-one everyone said good-bye and promised to stay in touch. Just then, Robert announced over the intercom that he would explain his side of the story when everyone returned to the office.

After Stephen was fired and went home, to avoid media press on this event, he and his girlfriend, Allison, went to Steven's parents house in Savannah. When it came time for Steven to tell Allison the truth of what happened at the office, he had told her a condensed version of the truth. He couldn't bring himself to tell her the WHOLE truth. He was ashamed. He had kept in retrospect - his working life a secret. At the end of the day, it was an emotionally draining one.

Steven, who was still in school at the time, had only attended 2 lectures all semester and spent all of his time at the newspaper, which he really loved. When it came time for a test in organic chemistry - he failed! His parents wanted him to be a doctor and really quit the paper. Whenever Steven would fly back/forth to his parents & work, he would literally play deaf on the aircraft so he wouldn't have to answer to scrutiny and questions from the scandal. After the plane ride, Stephen deepened farther in by using a wheelchair as told by the captain taking advantage until they left the airport. When Stephen's parents came home long after he had, his mother told him about Allison calling the airline and that Stephen maybe suicidal and the airline went crazy. That explained why the airline treated Stephen w/ kid gloves. They thought he was both deaf and suicidal.

Even though Steven was nervous, over ice cream, Steven explained the full honest story behind his firing to his parents. When he divulged details, Stephen's parents went on to inform him of his history he'd had telling "tall tales". His mother tried to give him some good points as to how this could blow over. Stephen seen himself as a Black Sheep. After he was confronted by Allison, Stephen was going to have to start telling the hard truths. As much as he destroyed himself w/ lying, Stephen would have to go farther telling the truth. When media outlets began knocking on the door for an interview, Stephen's dad vowed to protect his son, even at Steven's turn-down. Being on the other end of media, Steven felt like a predator due to having been in their shoes. Around this time, Stephen began having nightmares and night terrors, reliving the firing over-and-over again, suffering both anxiety and depression, crying in shame, frustration and despair.

It was during this same time that media began wanting to interview Stephen. When he would ignore them, they wrote letters to him for a response. As the days continued, Stephen would receive many different calls. Hate calls, threatening calls, surprising, weird & admiring calls. Some reporters understood the pressures and the why Stephen had done it. EVERYONE wanted to be granted "the FIRST" interview w/ him. Old friends that he  had lost touch w/ years ago wanted contact w/ him when he had the time. When Brian called, an associate Stephen worked w/ at the magazine, he asked Stephen for advice on how to handle his former boss. Stephen wondered that if people HAD to ask of why he did this? His only response was that no answer would placate or satisfy. Meanwhile, Stephen tried DAILY - almost abit obsessive at contacting Allison when she wouldn't return his calls. Steven and his mom wound up going to get Stephen's things packed up and moved.

The next day Steven & his mom aboard a plane and went out to Maryland or Virginia for Stephen to live. Stephen apologized to Allison for bailing and fleeing. After she was about to leave for good, Stephen PLEADED w/ her to go see a professional. She agrees to 1hr. Steven received the exact opposite result than planned. In the end of it, Allison left him for good! The next day, Steven moved out and into an apartment found by his mom. His mom began to stay the night when Stephen sort-of forced her out instead of staying.

Stephen CONFESSES to the FIRST story he ever fabricated. It was early in his tenure about a young D.C. player. When he didn't have much to go on and this was an inevitable piece, Stephen began to panic. For a story to even be a story, Stephen needed a "smoking gun" detail to finish the story off. It could start out small, stay mainstream, but had to hit w/ a bang. Stephen accomplished in journalism what others only imagined. The reasons behind it was because he wanted to be recognized for an EXCEPTIONAL article. He wanted to be well-regarded and loved by the people around him. For his stories, Stephen easily slipped into a groove of elaboration.  At the point of no return - there was no going back, so he just kept on typing. As far as it went w/ fact-checking, Steven played a large role in asserting the system and trying to improve it. If Stephen couldn't call a source or verify one, he would say that the source wasn't right for the piece or makeup a journalistic reason for eliminating that person from the piece. Steven stated that the reasons why he did this were the more stories he turned in, the more he would've been considered for cover stories. The more stories he made up, the more offers he received. It was like the more he fabricated and turned in, the more his editors  loved them and him.

Stephen found himself in public situations fabricating stories to waitresses and everyone. To him lying seemed like the only solution. When Stephen met a girl through a computer chat-room, Beth, he felt his life/luck changing. One minute he felt he had no one, now here was Beth. One minute, jobless, the next he was just going for a video rental and was given an on-the-spot job hired at a video store. That was how he ended up a shift supervisor at the store. Even with his new job, Stephen felt himself lying at work. He then realized a sick obsession w/ lying. When Steven got home, he found that Beth had left him w/o a way to contact. He was then REAL GRATEFUL for his new job at the video store as to not obsess about Beth. Even though he knew he couldn't date for awhile, Stephen no longer felt he had to lie or stay quiet. A few weeks later, Nathan  visited his older brother Stephen. He/Stephen apologized PROFUSELY for using Nathan in his cover-ups. According to Nathan's story, Stephen's using him that way was only a "dream boat" in the eyes of others for Nathan. At the end of the day, Nathan believed that NOTHING could've been done for Stephen to be in the press' good graces. Stephen began to wonder that this whole thing will blow over and he COULD get a happy ending.

Stephen was beginning to gain notoriety as "Hey, aren't you Stephen Glass. . . .the guy who?"  Aside from his parents and brother, the first person Stephen felt was unequivocally in his corner was his rabbi. The rabbi just wanted Stephen to survive this. When Stephen finally did talk to him, the rabbi, Stephen found himself volunteering for a service. Stephen used the service as a point to contact his mother. After he apologized about the past, that was where things stayed. Stephen promised his mother he would attend a Jewish ritual w/ an acquaintance of his mothers. When he arrived, Stephen began communicating w/ one of the granddaughters, Syl, which was someone he already knew. They began to get to know each other. During their date, they got to know each other's worst traits about themselves; both traits and physicality. The next day when Stephen was going to the video store, he'd heard of reporters being there and they called security. Stephen felt relieved that someone had his back and was going to protect him.

Because of fear of someone stealing, Stephen changed his mailing address w/ only his first and middle name; Stephen Aaron. When his girlfriend found out, Stephen felt he deceived her. But she didn't want to talk about it - as though she understood. They each made minor adjustments that fit the relationship. Even though media mentions of Steven were dying down, during a late-night TV program, they announced that during Steven's time at The Weekly, 70 out of 80 pieces had contained at least one unverified fact. When Stephen wasn't working at the video store, he spent his time alone w/ Syl, unless they were at Shabbat services. When it came to Syl, the further into love he fell w/ her, the more difficult it became to break his history to her. Stephen began to wonder what was so wrong w/ himself to have done this? What wrong was he trying to vindicate? What was he trying to prove by hurting the people that he had? He realized that it because they were all successful, loved & respected people. Exceeding everyone's expectations. They were the real thing that Stephen wished he was.

Stephen felt TRULY apologetic and sorry for what he had done an knew it would never go away. He did everything he could think of to hide the TRUE identity of who he really was to Syl, his girlfriend. Some looked at Stephen's relationship w/ his girlfriend as a sign of being "back on track". After an arousing game of bingo, Stephen found out from Syl that she had a gambling addiction. An imperfection. She was flawed. Just like him. They began telling their worst. He confessed his TRUE history and the ramifications he suffered. After taking the rest of the night and confessing EVERYTHING to each other. Stephen woke up the next morning w/ Syl next to him and felt incredibly fortunate. Even though he knew he didn't deserve it, he embraced it. This was to become a second chance to get it right.

When Stephen went to work, after he was praised for doing a good job, the boss was verbally required to give Stephen an application. When the boss had asked Stephen about/if he had been fired before, Stephen confessed to what he had done at the magazine. It sort-of changed his bosses demeanor and he fired Stephen. Something Stephen understood.When Stephen & Syl took their dog to the vet's ER, they were stalked by a reporter, Cliff, and a photographer. They were continuously polite to turn him down for attention due to their emergency. When he was turned down one more time, the reporter instantly grabbed the dog out from the vet and held the dog hostage for an interview. Suddenly the dog began to scream and Syl rose up, kicked the reporter between the legs and he released the dog.

When they finished at the vet, the reporter entered into a fury w/ a tape recorder. Stephen gave a tearfully, meaningful answer as to why? He couldn't help but realize that the guy DID wind up getting his exclusive. After they left the vet's office, Stephen realized that Syl would still be there long afterward. The next morning, Syl & Steven decided to start anew by moving to New York. As they headed the way there (NY), Steven said good-bye to Washington FOREVER! Still trying to piece his life together.

In 2003, a movie was made recounting Stephen's notorious scandal w/ "The New Republic" in Shattered Glass w/ Hayden Christensen, Peter Sarsgaard & Chloe Sevigny. Christensen as the role playing Stephen.















Since this book's publication and the movie, Shattered Glass, it had come out and been reported that in 2012, Stephen has been fighting, since graduating and passing the bar in 2007 from Georgetown Law School, for his application for an attorney's law license. The State's Committee of Bar Examiners judged him morally unfit for his new profession.

the REAL Stephen Glass