Honey, Baby, Mine: A Mother and Daughter Talk Life, Death, Love (and Banana Pudding)

  This next book was written by a mother-and-daughter duo. Each with their own stories to tell. But, stories with a past, heart, pain, truth. . but most importantly family. This is the story of a mother & daughter telling their story. The ICONIC & LEGENDARY Laura Elizabeth Dern and her mother, Diane Ladd.

It all began on the lot set of the film, Wild, that a
kinship/sisterhood was cemently bonded between Reese Witherspoon and her on-screen mother, Laura. It only took an hour and from there, families began to meet and intervene. Their mothers joined hands during the filming. At the end of the film, they rejoiced in a combined quiet cry; as did their daughters. After lunch together, it became an incredibly, beautiful friendship.

Reese had come to call Diane her "other mother". In her Mississippi drawl of a voice, reminds Reese of her own upbringing with the elegance of moving herself through human emotion and dressing for every occasions and always had endless genuine and effusive love for people - and sharp words for those whom don't. They, especially Diane, were the embodiment of grace and charm. Learning from mother and daughter on the art of storytelling gave Reese the ability to tell theirs.

Doctors began to become more routine and visits became more serious. Testing begat more testing. Then, getting the results of such testing coordinating that the only-child, Diane, had raised only-child, Laura, Diane's constant companion, was living on more than borrowed time. Laura learns there isn't going to be a mother/daughter ride that may end sooner than they think. Medical personnel had given Diane a timelimit. . .6 months. Hearing that, it WOKE Diane as Laura's world crumbled around her. She had just completely lost her footing. Nothing was making sense. Laura was facing the reality of losing her mother. Laura had NO  answers. She was PROUD & GRATEFUL for her problem-solving skills. . .but, she soon came to terms that this was one problem she couldn't solve.

Laura looked at her mother sitting beside her in a doctor's office. Diane was seeming so frail and completely uncertain. Laura's eyes filled with tears. As Laura gazed at her mother, the worst of the worst came to mind.  The doctors gave Laura a piece of mind that she could hold onto. They explained to Laura a remedy that could help her mother's oxygen level and expand Diane's living capacity. Laura thought of a creative challenge for her mom. To connect Diane to healing, she needed to feel safe. As a daughter, it became Laura's job, herself, Laura realized she needed to learn to help her mother in a way that DIANE knew. She'd been cast as someone who walks, who recovers. Hmmm. . . .

Laura thought of a play and saw this as an opportunity to keep her mom talking - and eventually walking - as long as they could. Hoping these walks/talks would extend Diane's life expectancy or be their final moments together.  The only way Laura could even cope with the loss of her mother was to discuss EVERYTHING with NOTHING LEFT UNSAID!

Bruce, Diane & Laura

In the moments that followed, Laura & Diane talked and discussed the happy memories - and old wounds - some were a result of these conversations. Laura had become closer to her mother than she EVER thought POSSIBLE! Laura learned the HISTORY of who this woman was - prior to being her mother; and unknown stories of her own childhood that Laura never knew. Laura pushed her mother to walk farther than she ever thought. And to talk HONESTLY about the MOST PAINFUL of life. From Diane's divorce from Laura's father, Bruce Dern, and a family tragedy that occurred before Laura's birth and overshadowing her own childhood. . .the death of Bruce & Diane's first child. In sharing these intimate conversations, they hope to bring closeness to mother & daughter on one hand . . .on the other, giving Diane back portions of her life that life itself took away from her. 

Laura thought doing all this walking, talking and, reminiscing for Diane's sake would give her peace and strength in Diane's final moments OR years to let her mother know how she'd shaped her daughter and how grateful she was for the example she'd lain to bestow upon. But, Laura would soon see this was a gift to her as well. . .to learn about the woman she didn't know before Diane had Laura.

With what began with Diane breathing HEAVY, she suggested that they get out of their vehicle and walk a half a block. Diane thought to herself, she just could NOT do it. Just for a few minutes, with Laura to lean on, Laura suggested they start with walking across the street. With the distance of 11 steps, one saw it so close; while the other seen how far it was. It was 30 steps to the car to drive and the sidewalk was shorter. But, they had to remember, the more steps Diane took furthered her lung capacity and bettering Diane's health. She would be able to be back into acting form. When Diane was acting, she felt cured of all ailments. But, she HAD TO get back to that! So, they backtrack to 15 mins a day. So, they began talking and distracting Diane is to be walking. For Laura, it was terrifying.

For Diane, it was about getting healthy. For Laura, she knew her mom and what she went through. But, Laura wanted to KNOW her mom! What they do from this point, is to improve Diane's living capacity. So, off they went. On the advice of Dr. Dern. But, Laura MADE her mother walk any way.  The more Diane would walk, the more it would hurt. (Similar to getting your energy back post-op). So, Laura thought of a natural place to start talking and would be working together.  Laura thought of what a treasure it is to intertwine her own life with her mom's life. As children follow into their parents footsteps, do they usually work side-by-side. How Lucky Were They? But, Diane didn't want Laura to get into their business as she and her dad, Bruce Dern, had. Laura thought What was the BIG DEAL? Diane didn't want her daughter to face rejection as any parent would. But, on the other hand, as a mother, Diane had to let her, due to her daughter's enormous talent. And the fact that Laura outsmarted her mother. Laura had met an agent at a party and claimed:

"My mom and daddy won't help me and I want to act."

But, Laura was 10 at the time. They happen to be at a friend, Bo Hopkins, house and his agent was there.  Laura was there and knew the agent worked with kids also and was very patient and seemed very kind. Diane had just finished doing a film with Johnny & June Carter Cash. Laura claimed her parents didn't want to help her. So, she tried to get the agent to send her an audition - just for the feedback; Laura didn't know about contrasting monologues. No, she did a children's poem called The Little Peach by Eugene Field. To show her range, Laura did it in 7 different well-practiced-and-completely different accents. Diane sent Laura on a few different auditions and Diane seemed okay with that.

Diane was always proud of Laura's work. But, she was still afraid for her daughter. Laura wasn't grasping onto her mother's protection in this moment of a hard, hard business. As Laura reminds her mother to continue her breathing as Diane was having a coughing fit. She could sense that Diane's oxygen was slipping away. So, they took a breathing break at a nearby beach. To keep her going, before she sat, Laura suggested Diane take some SLOW, DEEP breaths. . .so that they can move on to other topics . . . like the movie business. Therein, a break in laughter to breathe. . .But, Diane had to catch her breath and sit. Laura tried to get her mom to see the distance and views of their travels.  Once they sat, they could take a nice long break. Diane learned her and her daughter were given a copy of their film Wild At Heart. Diane's grandson/Laura's son, Ellory, was given a warning of what he might see. Not from his mom's performance. . .but his grandmother's. Laura forbade  him from watching it.  She might've shown him a few scenes, especially ones that have familial memories. The police station scene was the one Laura showed her son.

Before the scene, they were on opposing sides off the set preparing in their own way. Laura KNEW even then that she HAD TO build a wall between her and everyone else to create being alone in the scene. Diane HAD TO come in. They sat on the bench together and cried together. Sobbing after the scene was completed! Right then and there, mother and daughter were each other combining their own private memories to create the SAME one. As they looked into the eyes of one another, it was no longer in front of a camera for a film. It was a mother looking into her daughter's eyes and vice versa. They could feel the love from one another and KNEW the feeling from each other. Laura was seeing Diane at the same time as she was the character. There was NO acting in that moment. Laura was just a daughter reacting to her mother. Laura's favorite moments were just being in the moment to learn from her mother and being with her.  

As Luara & Diane looked into each other's eyes, it was like they saw each other standing there naked with anyone else clothed. They were able to see each others vulnerability. And that broke the tension with laughter, like giddy kids in church. When the job is to tell the truth, and the person you're working with knows you really well, they're going to KNOW where the bullshit lies. Outside of their own artistic bond, Diane and Laura were lucky that it flowed through the family. Like, David Lynch, whom they met and have kept good friendships with after Wild At Heart wrapped. Diane and Martha Coolidge threw Laura's 21st birthday at Martha's house. Diane lane, "the other Diane Ladd" was there. David brought Diane to her surprise with the setup completed. All of Laura's girlfriends were there in celebration. Diane thought the cake of Laura's face on it decoration was a beautifully, magical thought to have done.

Out of the memories they shared, one they remembered and agreed on was the fear that Diane's mother/Laura's grandmother's reaction was to the film itself once the film was released. As they began to reminisce with their own stories, Diane had to sit and catch her breath. But, Laura pushed her to continue their storytelling before they sat at the next stop where Laura promised to gently hold her mother just as Diane did to her daughter while they worked together on Enlightened. When Laura's character was having a mental breakdown from reality with a panic attack. For which, Diane felt like a magical experience for them to share. Rehashing memories from behind-the-scenes stories from the series. In the midst of all the talking/remembering, Diane was losing her breath and coming out of her energetic state and was becoming exhausted! 

They were beginning to return from their walk. Laura was REALIZING that walking/talking with her mom was a GREAT distraction for Diane to just breathe instead of FOCUSING on trying to. Diane's lungs were hurting due to the lack of oxygen capacity. Which was a very good thing because it FORCES oxygen back into Diane's lungs, which was a FIRST step to getting Diane healthier. 

Although Diane's lungs HURT, soreness that meant that walking, as they have, was pushing oxygen through scar tissue in Diana's lungs, and she had to push through the pain and trust that it will. And, Laura was with her mom every step of the way. Laura cherishes the memories she's able to share the experiences of working with her mother. Their first feature film debut was Wild At Heart, for which they again were mother/daughter, Lila & Marietta. Laura was so excited. The first scene Diane & Laura shot together for the film was when Laura had come down the stairs and Diane pouted directly at her daughter warning her NOT to go out with that boy. Well, instinctively, Laura burst completely into laughter and then so did the crew. Laura had wrecked the take. She was 22, and had that same mother, Diane's finger, in the scene that had been wagging at Laura her entire life!

Everyone's laughter was due to the fact that mother/daughter were acting out insane versions of their relationship. During the scene of Laura's hallucination of her mother flying on a broomstick dressed as the Wicked Witch of The Wizard Of Oz. For Laura, it was like 20 years of therapy in an hour.

Despite the outlook and how it may be perceived as being stressful, filming was the complete opposite and a total joy. The weirder it got, the more fun it got for Diane & Laura. That was all thanks to the director, David, who had become Laura's best male friend. . .with their own inside jokes and names that all began when they worked together making Blue Velvet meanings of something special between them. On the set of Wild At Heart one day, while Diane was getting her Wicked Witch makeup on, Nicholas Cage came over to Laura and pointed and fanboy'd over Diane: When it came to these walks with Laura, Diane could tell she meant business. 

Diane was furious that she was so sick. Diane's doctor among many others in their town believe that their condition is due to industrial farming in their area. Diane's neighborhood was spraying for pesticides for 3 years. Without telling anyone. Over 10 years pesticides were sprayed; including ones that cause terrible health outcomes. It was only after Diane's dog, Ginger, was poisoned by the pesticides, and died in Diane's arms that she began to realize what was TRULY happening. Diane was left with lungs that were so damaging that she could barely breathe. Diane went to one doctor after another, and wasn't treated properly; given the wrong diagnosis. Staff doctors constantly asked if Diane was a smoker after looking at her scans. She was . . . .DECADES AGO, for 1 year, Diane smoked. That was it. Diane was given 1 misdiagnosis after another: from vertigo due to an inner-ear infection, an esophageal disorder. . .finally they called it idiopathic fibrosis, IPF. As they confirmed that pesticides were the cause itself. Such bad scarring in a non-smoker almost always comes from environmental toxins. 

As Laura pushes her mother to excel further, Diane couldn't stop gasping for air. But, Laura was listening to the doctors for the benefit of her mother, despite Diane's temporary feelings. Even if she only walks half a block, it will make a difference. It was about getting the lungs to work better walking 15mins/daily. It felt impossible for Diane to go that long, especially with oxygen dependency and it terrified her/Diane.

What truly upset Diane the most was how weak/vulnerable she was in front of Laura. When they first received the news; Laura emotionally broke down. Diane pictured her own daughter having to call an ambulance, standing over her mother's body. The pain from Diane's lung scarring was. As her esophagus shrank, Diane was starving. People brought soft foods that Diane could digest, but it wasn't enough. Diane would wake up at 4A, staring at the ceiling - depressed, exhausted, hungry & hurting. Although Laura may be doing what is best, right thing, it was HARD EVERY STEP OF THE WAY!

Diane mentally keeps the what-if's on the forefront of her mind. The desperate longing to do more is what keeps her going as she ponders the everlasting what if's about time. Don't bring the curtain down on me just yet. It was during this time that Diane was offered a job. From the Hallmark Channel, a show called Chesapeake Shores. Diane wanted to take it, but wondered how was she going to be able to take it and work with a nasal cannula attached? Would she be strong enough before it came time to shoot? Laura seen it another way . . . if Diane wasn't strong enough, Hallmark would write it into the show. During this point, Laura began to notice and compliment the fitness that Diane had acquired. So, Laura continued that they stay the course instead of pushing it further. Stay the 15 minute course, and then leave it to Diane to excel further.

The walking began with Laura's questioning. How did Diane's parents feel about their daughter becoming an actress? Diane was to truly think about her answer. Laura heard her mother over-the-years give vague happy answers of "loving what she's doing". What was their REAL answer/response? Diane remembered that her parents thought it was a dream for her daughter until they seen Diane wanted to do it for a living. Her first real play was in high school. A one-act called The Grand Champs Diamond. She went for a part with a little depth. And Diane was a freshman in high school. She remembered being onstage and looking out at the audience and having an epiphany: everyone in the audience walked around with some kind of mask hiding their life from their life. 

Once the mask was lowered, and everyone was feeling synonymously in unison, you could feel it. That was why plays and movies were so important to Diane. Laura couldn't imagine seeing her mother doing anything other than what she loved! Laura learned her grandparents weren't supportive of their daughter becoming an actress either way. Diane's mother had bought her a hype drawer for Diane to have to cherish. . . once she was able to explain what it actually was for Laura to understand its meaning.Laura responded with a joke as Diane explained it. In discussing what once was in a time gone by, while Laura disagreed, Diane explained that was how it was in a certain time.  

The Ladner family were a typical middle-class family, but one wealthy relative, who was very politically connected and even held a position in government, and Diane was their favorite niece. In 1951, he Latner family put Diane in finishing school that almost finished her.  The diction teacher had an even worse accent than Diane. She was taught to hold a pencil with her lips and roll it with her tongue. With a pencil in her mouth, Diane began to practice. It was a way for her to stretch her voice without having to yell! But, it was a wonder Diane didn't get lead poisoning. Diane HATED it. She walked around with a book on her head all day and stripped her of her colorful dresses and gave her a tailored suit. ANYTHING that altered Diane's natural beauty. From her dinner-to-her-bathroom regimine would't been a terrifying change. 

Jane Russell & Shelley Winters 

This was during the Jane Russell era; but Diane didn't match/fit the body. She was thin with a great body, but a small chest. Diane's story reminded Laura of her own experience. Shelley Winters made Laura stuff her bra for her first play auditions. While they were doing the audition process, Shelley decided the director couldn't see enough of Diane's face due to her own hair being in the way. So, Shelley grabbed the bow attached to Diane's blouse to tie her back, not realizing it was the string holding the shirt together. In front of the director, Laura's blouse came off and there she was onstage in her bra with tissue pairing out. Diane instantly flashed back that memory that poured from her daughter. After this audition experience with Shelley, no audition would ever frighten her. Veering back to the subject at hand. . .finishing school. A school that wasn't really all that good of a school that Diane quit when she was 16, walking out without telling her own parents and got a job at a bank in New Orleans. Hearing that story, Laura was realizing just how baby young her mother was during this time. . .leaving at 16, Diane had a little voice that guided her. It was a miracle that Diane didn't encounter even more danger than she had for that age.

It may have been so long ago, but Diane felt winded. As she was catching her breath, Diane asked Laura to focus on the Dern side of Laura's family. The Dern's were blue-book aristocrats wanting Laura to be a blue-blood New York debutante. Diane's best friend was one that Laura saw as an aunt. The Dern family had wanted the debutante ball to be held when Bruce was spending time with his daughter, Laura. Their family was in the social registry that paired well in Grace Kelly's time era! Diane offered to get Laura  a beautiful gown and a chaperone because she promised her mother-in-law, Bruce's mother, that she would allow Laura to do it. Laura had wanted to check out the scenery first, and she went to a reception that day before the ball to see what it was all about. In Laura's charcoal-gray pantsuit, she walked into a room of too much white. Laura felt really uncomfortable at the lack of diversity and the lack of authenticity. 

All the young ladies wore fluffy party dresses. Laura felt such a disconnect to it. As polite as she could be, when she was walking out, Laura (in a lie) excused herself that "she forgot her pearls". Diane remembers that Laura called her that night and stated that the company she was keeping were not the "Diane & Laura" company type of people. So, Laura saw the opportunity to not come directly home; but instead join the Model U.N. Diane wanted her daughter to learn to spread her wings and fly. 

Laura reminds Diane to focus on her original story of how her parents react to her wanting to be an actress. "They were fine with Diane pursuing it as a hobby". But, as Diane continued her story: Diane's parents were truly upset. She'd gotten into an argument with her father. Trying to cheer up her mother, Diane assured her mother that the successful back-end she would acquire would go to help her mother. That infuriated Diane's own mother more; turning on her daughter. Not just in tone; but in attitude as well thinking Diane was crazy. She didn't want to hear of it and stormed out! Laura just felt awful at hearing her mother's story. But, it was due to the fact that if I can't do it;  you can't either responsive attitude. Even though Laura's grandmother was a terrific singer, she didn't have the gumption to go for it. When others would begin to notice Diane's talent and wonder why it wasn't utilized, Diane's mother would completely override to outshine her own daughter. So, Diane continued to hold in and pray. She even composed her own poetry to duo her prayers that were written by a 16-yr-old Diane.

After attending Sunday Church the very next day, to Diane's surprise . . .for the very first time, they had guest speakers. Surmoning about God's gifts and if it was God's Will.  If that Gift/Will means leaving what you know to use that gift, you have to. Diane LISTENED and began to ADHEAR to THAT message. She SWORE that TRUTH to Laura. It wasn't easy, but no one said it would. So, by a twist of fate involving someone from out-of-town seeing a play Diane was in, she ended up getting an audition with John Carridine to step into the role of Pearl in Tobacco Road out in San Fransisco. It was like "The Hand Of God". It TRULY was how Diane left the South Mississippi. She was given a train ticket to California.

Diane was 16, with $25 in her pocket, on the set of Sunset Limited. It was Diane's first trip out West on a train. There were only 2 people in the car. The other person was President Richard Nixon's mother. She gave Diane advice as she began to depart: Be careful. People aren't so friendly as they were in the South. Diane promised to return to visit; but as they figured nothing would stick outside of a California adventure of memories. 

Once Diane arrived in New York, she began working full time; and they couldn't say anything. By the time she was 17, Diane was doing Orpheus Descending. Without reviewers coming to critique it, the actors were distraught. Diane called The New York Times and wound up with an editor on the phone. Treating Diane like their work was beneath his feet over a review. Diane was truly taken aback. She was a TRUE actress. 

Bruce, Diane & Laura

The only thing Diane had for all of this work is a piece of paper that could be read for review! Without that review, it was all done for vanity. Diane began sobbing, and then a reviewer was sent. That reviewer happened to be Tennessee Williams' himself. Diane had never met him before, but she called and invited him through the genetic chart of being related by cousins. These relations came through the Latner side, and when Diane got to Hollywood, she was told to shorten it to Ladner. Laura found it confusing when people went by their middle name like her mom did. But it was very common in the South. Laura would soon find that her dad was in the same show. After a fantastic review, they took the play Off-Broadway. After being under Tennessee's wing, Diane was supposedly born to be in Tennessee's plays. Pedro Almodovar was insistent on meeting Diane at the Golden Globes. He met her at the bathroom and Diane had just arrived. He was insistent on the meeting. After Laura took him to meet Diane, he bowed down and hissed her feet. Although Diane would've appreciated a job on the meet/greet, Laura helps to keep her mother's hopes alive.  

It was Diane's performance in Wild At Heart that was an inspiration. It was kind of a Woman On The Edge Of A Nervous Breakdown in the spirit of Blanche DuBois. It was only one of the only films that Diane missed. Laura urged her mother to see it due to relating to it due to it being a mother/daughter story. Life in movies are so much more real than what you see in "reality" TV. Movies are more real due to their authenticity and that made it possible. And by Honest actors. That is exactly why actors don't see the stage directions in a script. Diane sought to teach Laura a lesson! As actions, you can make a new reality onstage.

When Diane was in her 30s, she was doing A Texas Trilogy on Broadway, playing 3 different roles in 1 night. And one night, she gave a lecture to 500 ladies at the Kennedy Center and completely loved her acting but gave negative feedback on Diane's makeup doing a play at different ages. It actually surprised Laura. 

It made Laura question, due to their shared profession, the way they both explored characters, was there anything Diane, herself, had to hide from herself? 

Due to having lived a life long before Lauaa was born, she NEVER wanted her mother to EVER worry about her. But, Laura KNOWS the same as her mother. . A mother NEVER stops worrying about their baby. The same goes for their children themselves. Diane never wanted to burden her daughter with her own problems, due to Laura already having her own problems to solve. That inevitably broke Laura's heart to hear that her mother kept that from her. But, Diane warned/reminded her that you don't know, until you know. Don't wait for something to happen. Diane was doing great on this walk right now in Laura's eyes. . . But, she was cold and done for the day.

Having her mother stand up to her grandfather to pursue her own dreams made Laura think about how much Diane taught her to consider her own needs and to push back against authority when it opposes your own values. Diane taught Laura to respect people of authority to a point. If an authority figure made you feel small in any way - all bets were off. In her own childhood, Laura witnessed her mom interact with people Diane disagreed with over time, and she (Diane) usually remained/stayed calm. Faced with an argumentative stranger, she held her composure. Unfortunately. Diane would lose her cool with cops and school principals - bad times there. There was a time in middle school that Laura worked real hard on a school paper about Inherit The Wind. Laura was using extremist members of the religious right as a modern-day example of fascism.

Unbeknownst to Laura, the teacher himself was a member of said group. He gave Laura a poor grade and implied that if she took a different outlook,  she would've gotten a better one. Diane marched into the school unannounced, right into the principal's office in MOM MODE! Laura was mortified due to being in middle school and wanted to fight her own battles. But, Diane was RIGHTFULLY outraged that the teacher thought it was OK to try to manipulate her opinion in such a way. There were other times where Laura was happy her mother intervened was due to expressing her own 7-yr-old beliefs at Catholic School. Laura was very proper/shy. The teacher outright stated that Laura was stupid at math - mocking her in class due to the inability to learn and that Laura's inability was committing a sin and sent her home. Diane went INSANE! Going into the situation in MOM MODE guns blazing. Going off on staff to a point where the staff had to apologize to Laura & Diane . . .but, especially Laura, for which she found to be fantastic!  

Diane was having dinner with a writer at the Writer's Studio in New York. They didn't have much money, none of them, but this particular writer knew how to cook, and he had made a delicious meal of chicken livers cooked with wine and yogurt over noodles. Diane told this writer a particular hunting story. He inferred to write a screenplay and turned it into The Deer Hunter. Forgetting to call and notify Diane, That part Diane inquired about was given to a young Meryl Streep.  

Flo/Belle Dupree

Years later, when Diane created the role of Belle Dupree on the ICONIC TV
series, Alice, based on the Scorsese film for which Diane founded the creation of the character of Flo. Diane made her father a character via improvising stories about him. In her first appearance on the show, Diane sang a song called "Uncle Bud" that her father wrote, which earned him a screen credit and a check. When he was dying, he made Diane promise that they would sing more of their favorite songs at his funeral. Diane made it through without crying, but it was one of the hardest things for them to do in her life.

Diane, Laura & Bruce

Laura loved every second with her grandmother. Being with her meant everything to her. Having that time together whilst Diane was working. Doing these walks together, Laura was remembering so many stories they'd forgotten. Laura reignited memories that she remembered of her dad with her grandmother, Diane's ex mother-in-law. From games they played together and being one another's playmate. One was during Laura's obsession with being a flight attendant. Setting up an assortment of chairs in their dining room. Laura would "play" the role of flight attendant as any kid would in role playing. When Laura was a young actress, she HURT her mother. Laura stated her grandmother was the one who raised her while Diane & Bruce were working. 

As they continued their exercise walks, memories abound and stories followed. There was a time during Halloween when Laura was with her dad whilst Diane was doing a play. Bruce had bought his daughter a LOAD of candy for the occasion on the behest that people arrived. . . but no one arrived. Bruce seen it as a wash, but was convinced NOT to give up. 

50/60s sitcoms

Soon after, the doorbell rang. A kid came to the door for candy. Bruce was overly excited! While the kid grabbed mounds of candy, Bruce was bewildered pulling the costume off the kids head. It happened to be Laura's Grandma Mary. She'd thrown a sheet over herself and run out the back door to the front of the house. Proving to be Laura's best playmate. Laura's favorite thing to do was to play flight attendant; a position Laura was obsessed with. Setting up the dining room to be Laura's passenger, along with her toys as seatmates. She would walk up/down the aisle, offering her dolls refreshments "playing flight attendant". Laura loved trying to figure out how to carry a tray of drinks without spilling. The Dern family originally didn't have a washer/dryer in the home of Laura's grandmother. So, everything was done with hand/washboard. Laura's grandmother would have her granddaughter as her assistant in a playful manner, with the water remnants consisting in a water fight. Then, they'd reward themselves with the reruns of sitcoms of the 50s/60s. 

During these walks, Diane's body would get WIPED & WORN with exhaustion. She felt TOO TIRED to live long enough to do everything she wanted to do. Diane was better. . .but, not 100%. She feared for her grandkids. She was HEARTBROKEN for that. Missing out on what she wouldn't be around for. Laura reminded her that was why they were walking. To AVOID that tragedy. To distract Diane, Laura asked about some of her mom's career choices. Specifically. Diane's choice in reason for NOT wanting Laura to be in the family business of acting? Diane had reminded her baby girl of Laura's screen test for the lead in Adrian Lyne's Foxes. Laura didn't get anything but only a small, unnoticeable part. Diane remembers Laura crying on the couch over not getting a bigger part. While Laura doesn't remember the crying, except for maybe a tear in the eye. She was more disappointed than hysterical. But, Diane assured her baby girl, Laura, of her true sadness behind the story. Laura was really 11 at the time of this story. Stating that she was 14 to get the role of a 17-yr-old girl. Looking back on being her mother, Diane, wondered: How Did This Happen? Laura was so young, but got herself her own screen test. 

When Laura was turned down for the lead, it just broke her emotionally. Diane turned to prevent her baby from feeling this rejection. Laura, at a young 13 years of age, KNEW the ramifications of suffering would do. Diane tried like hell to hold Laura's patience down before entering into show business. Properly train Laura into being more disciplined so she could polish her gift. Laura wondered about acquiring Wisdom? 

Laura was very drawn and wanted to learn/study, but she never needed a speech on discipline. When they arrived for dinner at Lee Strasberg's house, he already had 3 kids in classes on Saturday's in Hollywood at the Lee Strasberg Theatre Institute. Diane was surprised at her daughter's memory length. That same year, when Diane was 10, she did the kids' summer course at Harvard, where they studied film and body work. Diane did NOT remember that Laura did a course at the Royal Academy Of Dramatic Arts in London. When Diane was Laura's age at this reference point in her life story-point, she was out on country roads with her dad, Laura's grandfather, selling chicken medicine door-to-door. Laura didn't see the financial reasons back then. Laura didn't see glamour. 

Laura wasn't going to premieres. But, Laura did go to the Oscars with her mom while Diane was nominated for Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore. Diane was AMAZED at Laura's memory, due to Laura only being 7-yrs-old. Laura was very proud of the dress her mother bought for her. She felt glamorous in the attire she wore. When they walked the red carpet, all Laura remembered is how loud it was. Fans were screaming. Photographers were shouting for attention. Laura gripped tightly at/in her mother's hand with her fingernails. Despite it being Diane's BIG moment, Laura had such pride in her mother. As they sat in their seats, they seen Ingrid Berman seated in front of them. Laura had seen tidbits of Casablanca, so she ENJOYED meeting her. 

Laura, Brooke Shields and Isabella

Decades later, Isabella Rossellini, Ingrid's daughter, became one of Laura's TRUE-to-LIFE best friends. Laura remembers the pure joy others had . . .including her mother, at seeing the film, itself. But, at one point in the night, Laura remembers walking behind a teenage actress stepping onto the stage. She felt 40, but this actress was really 15 and stepped onto the edge of Laura's dress. This teenage actress went off and told her to Watch It, Bitch. Laura was mortified. Decades later, Laura still remembers that feeling. Whenever Laura is on-a-set or touring, she remembers and fears being in someone's way. 

Years later, Naomi Watts and Luara met on the set of We Don't Live Here Anymore. Laura & Naomi were each others dates to award shows where they stayed together. Her dress had little tiny holes in the embroidery. Naomi and Laura would walk hand-in-hand, laughing as she felt a tug on her dress. That memory stemmed from Laura's age of 7. A woman's high heels before her had gotten a snag on Laura's dress. Before she knew it, Laura realized a woman who'd slept with an old boyfriend of hers. Everyone around them KNEW it. Then, the 3 of them managed to get free of one another. Walking away, Laura thought to herself. . . If I could be nice under these circumstances, why couldn't that teenage actress have been different to a 7-yr-old she'd never met?  

Diane remembered dragging Laura to the set of Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore. That film was Laura's ULTIMATE favorite of her mom's. Before this film, Laura seen her mom. But, it was THIS film that helped shape Laura's dream to become her destiny. There weren't a lot of kids on-set, but Diane was a single parent without childcare for Laura and it was summer. She was truly well-behavioured, and Laura would go with her mom on-set. Scorsese would see Laura there; patiently, interested all the time. And so, during a crowded dinner scene, Martin suggested to throw/put Laura into the scene with the kids. So, she was put into the movie as an extra. Laura had already been a part extra in White Lightning, but didn't make the film's final edit. Laura, herself, had a different take on being on that particular set due to her 6-yr-old age point at that time. Matt Clark's character had menaced Diane with a gun and Laura ran and grabbed her mom's leg to protect her, wrecking the shot. Then, an incident involving a scolding hot coffee pot startled everyone. It was amazed that a young Laura ever went back on a set again.

Well, the Alice set was much better and more calmly different. Not only was Laura an extra on the set, but another day, Scorcese let Laura watch a scene with her mom upclose. And Laura could pinpoint the exact moment she fell in love with acting. Scorsese led Laura down a hall. There was a hall cracked open door, and Martin allowed Laura to kneel right beside him looking through the crack while Diane was shooting a bathroom scene with Ellen Burstyn. That was something Diane NEVER KNEW about her daughter. WOW! Laura loved listening to Scorsese talk to her mom about the importance of getting the details right - from the outlook to the HEART of Diane's character, Flo. When Mel would piss her off, Diane's palms would sweat. Due to needing to hold dishes, Diane had the habit of wiping her hands on her uniform before picking up on the plates. Diane was surprised to hear that! Coming from her daughter, no less. A memory length that far back. Even at the age of 7 for a 1974 Laura. 

Laura understood that her mom and Ellen were phenomenal in their profession. Diane showed Ellen her safety pins cross and remembered its origin story. She/Diane had met a REAL LIFE wonderful waitress that originally aired the cross. Diane liked it for her character, named Flo, to wear it in her new movie for which Diane gave details of the film/character. The waitress had made the cross herself. Diane asked this woman to make one for the film. Yes, she would. But, it would cost $10. Diane paid for it and it was the cross she wore in the film. It was a great detail. Laura loved how her mother's character talked about how she spent so much money Diane's character's daughter's dental work due to her daughter having bad teeth. To this day, that is one of her favorite scenes in any movie. There were 2 scenes in that film that, to Laura, found in film. One was right in her mother's own bathroom. Diane loved hearing of this reminiscing.

Diane and Shelley Winters

The other was when 2 of them were sitting out in the sun, and their eyes are closed for part of it. The cameras cut for the end of the scene and cut wide for the 2 of them sitting in lunge chairs, stretched out in their uniforms in the middle of the Tuscan sun parking lot, next to a dumpster filmmaking. It was in that moment that Laura fell in love with exposing vulnerabilities. Diane never saw it from that eye view before. Laura saw her mom being intrigued by her. It was Diane's social circle in those days and and communicative talk Laura remembers that social circle having Shelley Winters in Shelley's duplex. Diane thought Shelley was just the best! When they'd go over to Shelley's apartment, REAL GENUINE HOLLYWOOD LEGENDS would be there. . . from her closest girlfriends. It was such beautiful commrandance amongst women. . . being in presence of her mother's friends.

Laura has vivid childhood memories of times around these women. Witnessing and hearing stories of getting shit done as a female in thickness in the ears prior. Digging DEEP in these stories of moments in their lives. Laura got to see behind the glamours gated life behind being an actress but what Laura saw was much more interesting. Discussions led to watching films for Laura to learn.   

As a result of this, when Laura started acting, she truly wanted to play characters. Laura was chasing directors who were known for what someone DOES! What Laura doesn't fear, she inherited the bravery from her mom. A Place In The Sun is a perfect example. In Laura's description, in HER words, they made Diane PROUD to be an actress. One of the rumors Diane hesitated in encouraging her daughter into the family business  way the UNBELIEVABLE roughness of it. And, Diane thought politics were bad. Try becoming an actress respectfully. But, the art result made it worthwhile Reflecting on her mother's behavior working habits. If Diane SEEN injustice, she SWORE about the injustice at hand. SEE SOMETHING. SAY SOMETHING! Diane and her friends were part of Laura's inspiration for her character, Amy Jellicoe in Enlightened. When Laura first pitched the idea for her character to HBO, she envisioned if Lucille Ball became Norma Rae? Diane loved that.

Laura in Mask

Whatever part of Diane had in Laura's education as a learned value, Diane HAPPILY ACCEPTED! She remembers watching Laura as a young teenage girl in Mask with Cher and she did an incredible job in the role, but was also so disciplined. With NO HELP FROM ANYONE, Laura did her OWN research. She went to a place where they taught childhood blindness on horseback. Laura picked it up. Diane was so very proud at Laura's ability to use every emotion she had to create emotion for an unforgettable performance. It meant so much to hear praise from her mom. Diane loved the work. It truly was a gift to her. She was grateful for Laura to find her. Due to Laura's gender, she wondered of her mother's fear of having a girl associating or being in this family business. Diane was alarmed at Laura for even asking the question in general. . .

Being a mother. Having a daughter in their industry they're in. . ..OF COURSE Diane did. Any mother would. The first thing that came to mind for Diane was Wild At Heart.     

When they got to filming, the director had Laura paint her face red with the lipstick. In the instant of doing that, Diane felt the immediate backlash. Their family industry demands more from women. Diane didn't want their industry's pressure to look a certain way to affect her daughter. Diane didn't want that for Laura. Laura seen it differently. She KNEW that her mother taught her to seek out the radical female characters who weren't defined by their looks, but for their life's complication. 

Like the film Smooth Talk, when Laura was 15 when she landed the role and filmed it when she was 16. The girl Laura played was still a young innocent and coming into, awareness of her own sexuality. But, is truly terrified when faced with an older man, Treat Williams. Diane hearing that. . . provided her point. It was much better to be complicated than to be put on a pedestal. Diane was "motherly proud" of Diane for opting out of the cult of perfection. 

The actual work of acting when she was young was so incredible for Laura. But, the business side of it was/is brutal. When mother/daughter would work together, especially a 23-yr-old Laura, who was playing  sex-driven characters and press journalists commenting inappropriately. That. . . Diane didn't remember. But, Diane DOES remember immediately responding in MOM mode. . . like ANY mother would. Referring to wash out the reporters name with soap. All Laura knew was working with her mom was FUN AS ALL HELL! All Diane could rely on . . .those were born to be actresses. But, the good news was that despite their differences their differences in remembering stories. . . Diane was able to walk passing 3 benches in the park.  

Laura had stumbled upon a writing from a friend of her mother's, Tennessee Williams, where he had spoken about Diane and it absolutely floored her. Laura loved what/the way Tennessee said in describing her mother. Laura not only seen her mother. . . but a person behind who her mother was. Qualities in her mother are what inspired Laura the most to act without an agenda, without hiding behind veils, not only in front of others but also in front of others but also in front of oneself. Laura longs for that kind of clarity in art and in life. Share a chapter of your life, but offer that your parents shares of your lifetime, and know you even before you know yourself. 

Diane Ladd is like "a splash of Tabasco sauce; tart, tasty and capable of turning the bland into something exotic". Williams expressed being "overwhelmed by her candor in both her work and her life" and described her artistic clarity. Ladd has acknowledged Williams' support and influence on her career, including her role in his play Orpheus Descending. 

 
When Laura began walking with her mom one day, she wanted to venture Diane's mental strength agility further by delving into the strengths Diane had achieved. Even though these health challenges they faced, Laura never seen her mother as someone who just survives. Diane lived with a passion. Getting her healthy. But, Diane was feeling that Laura was shoving health down her throat. Laura reminded Diane's grandchildren that their grandmother ALWAYS had a dream. Diane never gave up on her dream. Diane ALWAYS had faith. It was instilled in her youth growing up. 

Due to her birth name, Rose, she was enamored with it. Rose of Lima, Peru. Diane became very impressed by her. The nuns Diane grew up with in Alabama left an impression on her, wanting to be more like them. Going to the church. Speaking in prayer, hoping for a response during her school lunch break. This resonation of this story is hitting familiarity to Laura as having heard this before somewhere. Laura grew up knowing that Diane and her grandmother had resounding faith that rooted a belief in Laura that truly helped her through tough times when Laura felt alone or afraid. It made Laura take faith seriously, and how much Catholicism brought her mom. Diane had exposed Laura to so much spirituality as a kid. Laura appreciated and loved that Diane wasn't one to shame others religious views/beliefs; allowing Laura to find her own unique spiritual path; whatever that may've been. Whenever Diane took Laura to church, she would give her the option of learning on her own with an open mind if she wanted to. Leaving the door open.

Diane would teach Laura to meditate when she was around 8-yrs-old. They would go to mother/daughter yoga class and learn breathing techniques. At 12, Laura was a pro-choice Catholic who believed in reincarnation. There was a belief as to why Laura studied Sanskint at Loyola and gave that name, Sanskint, to her daughter. Diane was truly honored by that. This conversation led to Laura learning of her mother's beaus; as a young lady. She, Laura, didn't even acquire her first boyfriend until her junior year of high school. Diane had seen her faith in Catholicism influenced in herself in her daughter, in a positive way. Diane, herself, wanted to be a Saint when she was younger.

Holidays with Shelley

One of Diane's favorites were Songs Of Bernadette. As A little girl, Laura imagined that she was Bernadette of the same song when she, herself, was 6-yrs-old. Diane resounded this memory from Laura as a precious one to hold on to! These lead to memories of both of them having memories of Diane's mom/Laura's grandmother. Laura remembered getting spanked via her grandmother due to digging into her grandmother's backyard spoons. The spankings came due to bending the spoons as Laura dug them into the backyard. She had felt so connected to spirituality and holy. By Day 5 of digging, Laura was flinging spoons around. Her grandmother also washed Laura's mouth out with soap for cursing. Laura and her young girlfriends would cuss like sailors around one another as kids do. Swearing every dirty word they could to each other as quickly as they could in the tune of Howard Cossell. Next thing Laura knew, she was dared in class to repeat as a rap for which she earned Laura soap in the mouth. That explains why Laura overly curses today! But, at least, Laura was never spanked for the bent spoons. That kind of talent could've been nurtured instead of punished. But...through it all, Diane had given Laura wonderful godparents to be given in spiritual education by those whom were really devout. That led into holiday memories where they spent time with Shelley Winters; whom was just the best. Times where they spent going to parties at Norman Mailer's house. And, it was Shelley who represented a TRUE ACCEPTING faith of being a Christian of ALL people whom was a family friend of the Dern family.

As a daughter, Laura found it to be difficult to know how hard to push her mom. On one hand, Laura wants to push her mom past her limits. On the other hand, due to Diane's frailty, Laura didn't want to over exert her mom. Laura was conflicted in her role in life. . . to continue the day's exercise. As they headed back to the car, Diane felt the exhaustion of the walk as they headed back to the car. But, Laura wanted to push her mother's exertion speed further. Diane had had enough for the day and was done. Will you stop it, goddammit? This is my body! You don't have to kill me to save my life. No more pushing. We'll cuss each other out later, Mom alas from Laura. She had felt at a crossroads. On one hand, Laura wanted to push her mom. On the other hand, due to Diane fragile state, Laura didn't want to upset her mom. But, she wanted to make her feel Laura was her cheerleader. Well, when should Laura be her mom's nurse v. her daughter? When should Laura push her mom v. giving her mom space?

Before this, Laura would've wanted for Diane to say whatever she wanted in her own time. If Diane feared being alone, Laura wanted her mom to KNOW she wasn't alone. But on the other hand, Laura didn't want her mom to know her daughter's fear of the inevitable happening. What if this was Laura & Diane's last time to say or vent ANY untold truths. Laura didn't want to ever miss that opportunity.

When Laura seen photos of her mom when she was 16, Diane was so young to be alone, with no money, knowing no one in New York City to become an actress. Diane knew what she wanted to do. Laura saw it differently due to the notoriety of her parents. Everyone knew. Bruce was the guy who killed John Wayne in The Cowboys. Laura figured her dad's tough-guy persona saved her from real shit. Not that guys put Laura in danger, but Laura felt her family's reputation offered her a little protection that other actresses her age didn't have. And like them, Diane didn't have anyone! And that era was so vastly different! As a teenager, Diane had to wear heels to every audition. You could wear drab. In those days, you had to dress to the 9's. When Diane first started out as an actress, her manager made sure she was READY! to be FLAWLESS!

Laura was truly grateful & glad that the hyperfeminine thing was rejected by Laura and Diane both; outside of their down Southern family subscribers. Then, it hit Diane that Reese used to wear her hair in curlers and the credo ALL Southern girls believed of "putting your face on". Laura first heard that expression when Mary Kay Place said it in; one, I personally have forever loved, Laura for, Citizen Ruth. 

Reese & Laura were doing press, and Reese needed lipstick. Laura went through her bag and tried to hook Reese up. Reese looked at her as if Laura handed her a Sharpie and corrected her. But, Diane got the confusion, Southern ladies, Reese always knew of lipstick of only certain colors. Reese was able to go out of it when she's working, and be totally RAW!, like she was in the film, Wild. Makeup aside, Diane is still a Mississippi girl who found her way in the work.

It's even harder to fight to get us from the pressure to be glamorous. Talking with her mom about the pressures Diane faced in situations that took Laura right back to middle school. Laura realized that her mom helped her to avoid so much of the need to fit in that young ladies didn't have. In the Dern home growing up, there weren't mother/daughter beauty moments. They would watch films where Laura felt the pull of social pressure and look to Diane for navigation. At her middle school, Laura and her classmates had to wear uniforms, but the wealthy girls still found a way to compete. They were only in 8TH grade, but the wealthy girls came in with designer products. When Laura told her mom this, Diane had Laura do a mental check on herself to see if the upkeep of her classmates were worth it and taught her to appeal to her own sense of self outside of others to go abroad her own journey of style.

The next day, Laura put together her own style meshing with school uniforms. All day, Laura was mocked, but she thought she looked good and that was all that matters. That taught Laura that perfection is in the eye of the beholder and finding your own thing. Diane helped her to find her own game. Every day after that, when Laura was ridiculed, she'd roll her eyes in reaction. No matter what you do...naysayers will say. And then, when Laura began acting at the same time, the roles Laura took wound up looking like everyone else. Case in point. . .the 1982 cult classic; Ladies & Gentleman: the Fabulous Stains. Laura felt excited for such a cool and pivotal role. Her first role was in Foxes was one Laura thought would be a great opportunity with music being part of the job. Laura left at the beginning of 8TH grade to do the movie. And Laura had her 13TH birthday a month prior to filming. It was a pretty radical experience on a lot of levels. Laura remembers when she showed up on-set, she had long, blonde Alice In Wonderland hair down to her elbows. Laura was very young, so Diane challenged her mom on taking her job, but eventually Laura won. . .Diane felt comfortable on-set with Laura alone there, with a girlfriend of hers there with her and play mama bear to Laura whilst there.   

Having her identity at that time completely altered her first experience of becoming a different person on-set. And, even then, Laura had a guardian there. . . she still seen her fair share of the realm of sex/drugs and their own outcomes. . . .which Laura learned from others in her growing environment. Being exposed to too much led to a healthy terror that stayed with her. When Laura returned to 8TH grade with shorter hair after seeing REAL-LIFE shit. . . .she could NO LONGER relate to kids of her age caliber. She didn't feel like a kid anymore. Something I can personally relate to and UNDERSTAND!  

At this point. . ..Laura avoided certain subject matter due to never wanting to intentionally hurt her mother but always wondered. Beginning with Not the act. . .but the story of how/when Diane became pregnant with Laura's sister. Diane & Bruce had met doing Orpheus Descending meeting onstage; after moving it Off-Broadway, the male lead had gotten another part and was leaving their show. A promising young actor, Bruce Dern, already had 2 Broadway shows under his wing, had replaced him. And you might say Orpheus Descended! It was far from love at first sight. She had a monologue at the opening of the play. Diane looks behind her in the corner of the store set. Bruce is looking over/in while Diane is going over her monologue. After the curtain call, Diane cornered him backstage, and she declared that Bruce paid attention when she did her monologue. Diane was about to take off and let her understudy do the part for a while due to Diane trying out for a different play on Broadway. 

Diane knew she needed to do some research. So, she asked a co-star. Diane was still a naive Mississippi Catholic girl. And Bruce happened to take Diane to this fairly elegant all-night restaurant with tables, booths, and a counter. They chose a booth to witness the atmospheric action. The date began around 1;30A, after their play was over. Sitting at a corner ordering a piece of pie. A week later, on their night off, after Bruce had gotten it into his head that Diane was Wild, he invited her to his home in New Jersey. It was nothing like a place Diane thought he would reside. Bruce had been married a couple of years ago and wound up staying in the house they resided in. They had dinner and laid on the floor and listened to classical music. As they lie there, Diane thought Bruce was the loneliest man she ever met. Diane's heart went out to him as a human being. Bruce was the 3rd child of a powerful attorney. People thought Bruce was the country boy and that Diane was the society girl. But, the truth was the other way around if you go by their backgrounds.

After a late make out session and it being so late at night, Diane stayed over at Bruce's in another room. So, they parted to their separate rooms. As Bruce gets up to go get a glass of water in the night, Diane felt a faithful intervention. She felt an arousal and things escalated from there. Bruce had told Diane prior to this moment that has was sterile and couldn't have children. Laura caught the outrageousness in her dad's lie as Diane revealed this story. Bruce was not lying. He and his former wife truly did try to have a child. They had even gone to seek medical guidance as a source and Bruce truly was sterile. So, Diane was in fact intimate with Bruce one time, and BAM! Diane was pregnant. She felt it truly was the Hand Of God! It wasn't planned, but it was meant to be! Diane felt her faith prepared her for the arrival of having children. Laura Elizabeth Dern was supposed to be born to the parents of Diane Ladd & Bruce Dern. Diane truly believed thar. . . .Honey, Baby, Mine. Diane was pregnant with Laura when she was doing The Rebel Rousers with Jack Nicholson and Bruce Dern. They shot it in Kingston, AZ, when she was 8 months pregnant. She was getting nervous about something going wrong. Diane would've needed a ceasaerean. When they were shooting in Arizona, they prayed for a healthy/safe pregnancy and delivery. The cast were very chivalrous about her pregnancy. At one point, Jack had to lean towards Diane menacingly and was very nervous about it. He had no intention of actually scaring Diane.

As they shared stories on their trail, some motherly memories of her own children brought wonderful conversations of Laura & Diane discussing Laura's children. Leading into the story of Cheryl Strayed, the basis of the film; Wild and Laura & Cheryl's time to bond themselves. Stories Cheryl feared the motherly side of Laura with her own children and them growing up and her separation anxiety as a mother has. The hardest part of being a parent is letting go, but you never do. Diane was a wonder herself when Laura moved out on her own to go to UCLA. Diane knew Laura was moving out to go to school. . .and live with a trusted family friend. As Diane gave Laura the trusted information she needed to live with Marianne Williamson. Being 17, and having way more maturity than others her own age, Diane knew she could trust Laura. Laura wanted to fly, and Diane wanted to love Laura enough to let her fly.

The irony was that Laura got a master's degree in film at UCLA, with the unbeknownst to her that the film they started with was Blue Velvet - a movie that Laura was kicked out of her prior school to participating in. Diane knew Laura's feelings in that situational predicament. And she knew that Laura would make the right choice. When Diane first saw Laura up at the screen, she began to cry at seeing the talent pour out of her baby girl on-screen. Diane knew that Laura's talent arrived at birth. She had to find a distance between incense and liberty. When Laura was a teenager, Diane made sure Laura had someone to go with her to auditions and press. Laura was very lucky that her mom chose savvy women for Laura to be around as maternal figures whilst giving Laura some autonomy from her mother. Laura was well taken care of when in the charge of those responsible. Diane would've NEVER allowed Laura to act until she was mature enough to handle it. No matter what it had to be done. If it involved nannies; so be it. At least, Laura was never done.  

The protection that Diane had trusted had also trusted to care for Diane Lane in the same onclarence. During her time off work, Diane would fly in her off-days to see Laura when she could with Laira's grandmother in tow. Considering Laura's memory compared to Diane's, Diane had an actor's memory. Remembering what you need for the moment and then forget it later. As a mom herself, Laura can't imagine Diane having to work when Laura was younger. . .which Laura is experiencing as her children get older. Diane assured Laura that it was a transition she would have to face and be honored in doing it. Trust your mother. When Laura left home, Diane knew Laura was working and learning, and that was motherly joy. All the motherly emotions do hit you at one time. Every time Diane missed her baby girl, she would see the situation through Laura's eyes as Laura was spreading her wings and flying.

When Laura was out on her own from ages 18-25, they were years that mother/daughter fought the most. When Laura was having her own kids, she was thinking of her own future with them. Laura was a single mother and is now becoming an empty nester. Diane managed to distract herself by finding what she liked to do to fill the void. What did Diane love to do? She began with singing  and piano lessons. . . anything to put the distraction in another direction. Even when Laura was leaving home, Diane never felt that question of What did I do now? Because she felt like her time was decided to help others; especially your kids. That particular mother feeling never leaves you - never! It was very hard for Diane at first. Diane had good friends, and was very, very lonely. Laura was her mother's heart and reason for living. Diane is still a mom. Laura KNEW of her mom's feelings and emotions being a mother herself. A mother is only as happy as her saddest child. It is pure hell! Both a burden and bliss that goes both ways.

When Duane was working, Laura was surely feeling separation anxiety from her mom. Looking back, Laura wished her mom hadn't been so reactive. . . One moment comes when Laura remembers being slapped by her mother. It was because Laura had mouthed off on her mom, and Diane was already having a DAY! The shock of Laura's mouthing off to her mom sent Diane spinning. Diane just couldn't believe it. Laura was only 10-yrs-old with the mouth of a smartass teenager. Diane never forgot that. She was devastated that she had a daughter who behaved in that manner. So, Laura was still at fault. It was a cop-out on Diane's part. So, Laura had to let it go and not hold on to this part of their past. So, take a different approach. . . .what does the other remember? Laura was really 14. Not 10. Diane remembers Laura standing by the fridge looking up at her mom, by 11-yrs-old, Laura was tall!

What Laura remembers was that Diane cursed her out and called her an evil name and endlessly ranted. The slap was so hard-core. Diane was really unhappy at work and took it out on Laura at home. Diane figured she snapped at life's situations, money, work, stress, child support and life's resentments. Diane was very angry and took it out on Laura. . . for which she forever regretted! While Laura genuinely appreciated the apology, it truly messed her up when her mom would call her "miracle". It felt embarrassing and an awkward label for Laura to carry or live up to! Feels like it was impossible for Laura to be Laura! Diane's generational trauma proceeded Laura's. 

At this point in the journey itself, Diane had to sit at a nearby bench and rest/ As she rested, Diane recounted her own mistakes as a mother in regret to Laura. After the explanatory regret and remorse, they picked up again and headed back for a movie. It was a lot for Laura to hear and she truly appreciated hearing the remorse from her mom. That was hard for her due to Diane's absence as a mom who was working a lot and a young Laura missed her mom. Laura gets the agony in her mother's eyes from back then being a mom herself. At least, Diane had help with Laura thanks to Laura's Grandma Mary for assistance. And Laura had had NO HELP with her children. While Diane seen herself as a built-in grandmother, Laura seen her mom as still a working mother herself. Diane sought inspiration in her work in a way that could help in her life as a mother/grandmother.  

Being mothers in their field of work, they were able to teach their children LOVE! Laura was the child of a divorced family of working artists who were always traveling for their jobs, and sharing a home with a single mom. That had many benefits, and Laura was raised to believe she could do anything. But, as a kid, it hurt for Laura to be apart from her mom, and vice versa for the same for Diane. Along with that come the mothers guilt of remorse. While Diane was working, Laura felt love from her mom's absence who fiercely comforted and loved her. Laura tried to be an adult and not complain. The truth was that Laura truly missed her mom after her mom's 2ND divorce; which was a truly rough time for both of them.

During Diane's 2ND marriage, Laura & Diane moved to New York together and it was just mother/daughter time for a couple of years. When that marriage ended, Laura was back in L.A. and felt a lot of anxiety. Diane was busy working on a play on Broadway. Strong memories return to the surface of Laura being right into the emotional senses she once felt in the shoes of her childhood self. When Laura got herself in such an emotional spot, she remembered a poem to recite to comfort herself. From then on, it became tradition at bedtime. They were reunited at heart when reciting that poem. Being a mother herself, Laura is seeing her mom's perspectives. What Laura is doing now is to look at what she did wrong and change; which is scary now that Laura is raising teenagers herself. At least she's honest about it. Looking back at times when Diane wasn't there; she more than made up for it when she was present. Leading into each other's perspective at what any/all mothers miss and live with between work and family. Even in her willingness to have these conversations, Diane was never afraid to be who she is. 

Diane, Laura and the family

As a mother, Diane just hated to think that her baby girl was ever sad. In ALL HONESTY, parenting is a mess ultimately. It's terrifying.  All we want to do is differently than what our parents did. When Laura and her husband, Ben, were working, she wanted to have babysitters supply the fun her own grandmother did when Bruce & Diane were working. Laura was so grateful for any parental help. Sill, Laura found it hard to be away from her children. She feared missing the moments with her children that matter. Now, Laura knows how it feels to be in her mom's shoes. Hearing the pain in Diane's voice, her regret missing Diane's growing up was due to working....You HEAR the REGRET in a mother's voice. Hearing her mother gives Laura pause and gratitude for what she is ABLE to do and be! A present and working mom. Easy to say. . .but harder to feel. Hearing her mother's past and challenges gives Laura GRATITUDE for what she didn't have to live through. While Laura may have had a subconscious guilt of reliving their past and asking her mom questions, Diane kept reassuring her that that was what these talks were for. To fill in the blanks of Laura's mind. 

Looking back, Laura got to thinking she truly is an artist today because of her mother. She was able to see what it looks like to have a parent who loved her work and inspire to tell stories. And to do that, Diane HAD TO be away. Laura'd would've preferred a homemaker mom with homemade meals nightly; but Laura couldn't have that due to having a working mom that had to support her and survive herself. By Diane's example, it gave Laura the best gift of independence and survive! That independence also gave Laura such close friendships, making her feel wanted/loved. Even Diane noticed that Laura felt better as a friend more than a daughter. Something they both never envisioned to come to fruition. Reminding Laura in this conversation of scenes in Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore, it reminded Diane of a younger Laura as a child off-screen in her own mother's memories. Diane made the time there cherish able and so fun!

Laura and Kelly

Laura proved herself to be good company even as a little girl. She loved how she and her girlfriends could ask Diane anything. The conversations these friendships shared were as deep as the ones Laura & Diane were sharing in this book. Diane truly set an example for Laura in the value of friendships and how the world shouldn't be walked alone. And we desperately need our deepest friendships to bounce decisions off of, to help support to lean on. Diane's friends kept her going after Laura left home. When your kids are gone/grown, your friends will be there when loneliness hits. When Kelly Preston died, Laura was so heartbroken. She loved Kelly so much. Kelly's death was a wake-up call for Laura. It HIT her to stay in touch with people you love. After Kelly died, Laura immediately began connecting friendships she'd lost. Diane loved Kelly too. As a person and as an actress, Diane was lucky to direct her in Mrs. Munch. Diane cherished seeing Laura's friendship with Kelly. Times with her whist filming Citizen Ruth were timeless and memorable. Thus proving, your friends become your family. This continunity of this conversation tired Diane to try again later.

Laura, Diane and her grandkids

The next day's conversations were the dealer's choice with Laura spearheading the conversations in the favorite of the fabric of her mother. Due to an injury she received on her first day on tour, A Handful Of Rain, Diane was so nervous that when she ran across the stage to jump up on a platform, Diane misjudged the platform landing and ripped a leg muscle HORRIBLY! She was in ALOT of pain, and kept going until the curtain came down. Only then did Diane BREAK DOWN in tears. The doctor was going to give her a medical shot for pain, but Diane opted out for an alcohol shot for pain for numbness instead. And that did the trick to take the pain away. Scotch and soda from that event taught Diane that it takes the pain away. Therein because Diane's FAVORITE drink she would do on occasion with just one shot due to not being a fan of alcohol to begin with. But, if you have a toothache or you're tired. . . A good shot comes in handy. Bourbon Whiskey is Diane's drink of choice while Laura NEVER touches scotch in her life; but enjoys red wine. . .and communion waters from church. Laura would rather snack on them. . . which SHOCKED her mother. 

Forwarding back into the conversation, Laura found out her mother's favorite color is yellow, sunshine on the darkness of ignorance. Laura, herself, never would've thought something like that. Laura didn't/doesn't have any particular color, but heading close to salmon pink or dusty rose. . . .probably due to her mom's first given name. That reminded Laura of when she was pregnant with her daughter, Jaya. When Laura was pregnant with Jaya, Diane suggested that Laura name her daughter something that stood out and made her an individual, the same that Diane had done with Laura. Part of the family story and giving independence with her own name. Diana with an A. 

The re-inventional name sounded pretty and dire to the situation =, it made her think of Princess Diana and the beauty that came with it. Laura & Diane were even able to come and sit next to Princess Diana at the premiere of Rambing Rose, which Laura remembers vividly.

Laura's name had been Diane's idea. Diane loved it due to the name Laura from Doctor Zhivago. A girl's name, but nothing girly about it. Diane loved her name Diana, meaning Goddess Of The Hunt. Diane's favorite dessert is/was banana pudding. Laura's favorite herself was cobbler. Detailing these desserts came with memories abound these particular desserts.   

Diane's FAVORITE book was literally CLASSIC; Catcher In The Rye and Laura's was 100 Years Of Solitude. One of Laura's favorite activities, aside from spending time with her mom, swimming with her children. Diane's favorite was dancing. When Diane was younger, Shirley Temple was her idol. Due to Shirley's influence, Diane was tapping all over the place. It was during her upbringing in Catholic School that Diane fell in love with the art of putting on her own shows once a month that would make a fortune. Inspiration to put on these shows came from the radio. Stories that began with the sound of a squeaking door opening. When Laura was 5, she became obessed with La Boheme records. Diane remembered that Laura's first children's book was a botanical book from the Museum Of Modern Art. Laura loved Monet best. One of the very first movies Laura had ever seen was Fantasia at the Century Plaza Cinema.

The Great Gatsby

Diane first played La Boheme' when she was pregnant with Laura, and played it all the time that enriched Laura's upbringing. Laura became obsessed with it, having it memorized. Lucille Ball had been one of Diane's idols for which she actually had met once when they were seated at the 1975 Golden Globe Awards. It was Diane's first big event for her first really important film roles for Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore; going up against Karen Black for The Great Gatsby that also starred Bruce Dern. Diane was sure to be a shoo-in, but the film release was too late for an Academy's nomination. When the winner was announced, it was Bruce who accepted for an absent Karen.

Lucille Ball was there and witnessed the entire thing at the show. Watching Diane closely. She and compassionately being there for her due to having been in Diane's shoes with Desi. Lucille drew Diane into her. Walk recounted moments at the Oscars mother/daughter didn't think Lucy knew. Lucille smiled sadly, patted Diane's hand, and lifted her head away to continue watching the show. As a kid, Laura never really got how much of a PIONEER Lucy was in those days and so ahead of her time. Laura felt like Lucy just walked on water. She was also Laura's biggest style influence. Outside of Lucy's fashion, Laura loved all the complexities that made Lucy - Lucy. Someone else with a complicated story was Barbara Stanwyck whom Bruce & Diane both worked with in separate venues. Laura remembers when she was 12, that Barbara was her FAVORITE actress. Diane loved/favored Simone Signonet just as Laura loved Barbara, due to the banter and the irreverence, and Laura loved Diane's choice. Laura first fell in love with Barbara after seeing her in Stella Dallas. 

Barbara Stanwyck

A personal story that Diane shared about Barbara during this conversation was when Laura was born. After labor with Laura, Diane had horrible stomach pain, she had postpartum gas. A nurse had come into Diane's hospital room. Diane was in tears and remembered Barbara's suggestion of a tube to help get rid of the gas. Diane felt like she was dying and needed help to rid the gas and begged for the nurses' help. The nurse was ignoring Diane's needs while trying to distract her from the pain. After seeing the pain on Diane's face, the nurse runs for the tube! Damn Straight! Years later, Diane was able to regale that story to Barbara herself with immense gratitude.  

When it came to FAVORITE dinners, Diane's was her mother's Chicken & Dumplings while Laura's was her mom/Diane's Southern-Japanese casserole. But, Laura's ULTIMATE favorite dish is macaroni & cheese. All the Lad(ner) family, including Laura and Laura's kids, inherit the trauma of a time that you NEVER throw food away. Laura's kids feel betrayed if they go to their mom's and there isn't a full fridge. . . like they expect food to maintain the same up on coming or going. But, when Laura goes to Reese's and opens the fridge, Laura feels in heaven! While Laura's kitchen may look empty and bare with no kids around, Reese's feels like an organized kitchen that is FULL of everything.                          

During the pandemic, Laura and her kids exercised their minds and pallets with home cooking dishes seen on YouTube! and trying new recipes. After this walk on this particular day, mother/daughter transcended back home to venture into the dishes they discussed! While Laura and Diane are mother & daughter and have a lot of similarities; they are very much their own individual person.

During the next day, while it was a hot one, Laura & Diane sat to watch the ocean tide. Laura continued her quest in mindfulness. Diane reminded her to ask before it's ever too late. Diane had had her geneology line of Ladner's done leading down to Laura and her children. . . which Laura didn't know.  Laura's facial expression of SHOCK! was truth-telling. In the silence of truth-telling, Laura wanted the REAL TRUTH of the story behind her parents divorce, or why it didn't work.  Children really don't want to bring up old wounds for their parents to relive. . .especially if the children REMEMBER WAY MORE than the parents thought. Laura never asked her mom about the story of their courtship, marriage and eventual divorce. Laura heard about the beginning, from the fatuation & attraction. But, Laura never knew and wanted to hear the later years, after Laura was born. What was it like from Diane's point of view?

Diane & Bruce

With Laura & her own kids, she talks to them about the stories of coming from a true love story. Laura was learning to tell her children of the REAL story of where they came from. And Laura was in the process of doing that with her mom. She knew the stories of Diane Ladner & Bruce Dern, but what was their story together. Diane always loved and respected Bruce's acting work. That was why she worked with him even after their divorce when she directed him in Mrs. Munck in the 90s. Laura knew her mom respected Bruce as an actor and that she admired him for breaking away from his family. But, Laura wanted to hear about what DID work. What did work and what was it like to be the Dern-Ladd's?

Paul & Joanne

Diane brought up a good point: We avoid the deep feelings we felt in a relationship because we don't want to miss it. Her point was that while Laura was growing up, Diane focused on the back of her marriage to Bruce and honestly ignored the good. So, in her later years, Diane focused on the right side and what she got out of her marriage instead of the suffering on her way out. What Diane loved about her time with Bruce was the laughter they shared. Laughter felt like love. Laughter is so healing. as long as its at no one's expense. Bruce had a brilliant mind; as well as a photogenic memory. It is truly incredible! What was great about their marriage was the communicative repertoire they shared in their profession. They understood each other's work; and there was compassion there. Similar to friends of theirs; Joanne Woodward and Paul Newman. Sometimes it was just a friends' marriage group they would bond with. Kind of like the Ricardos & Mertz' 

Laura saw her mom as a seeker and Bruce as an irreverent that they balanced each other out. But, as divorced couples, there also comes the quintessential "ex-wife/husband" remarks. For Laura, it was NICE to hear who her parents were as Diane and Bruce. While Diane will always love Bruce; a part of him is ALWAYS a part of her. The best of both of them are what created the foundation of Laura Elizabeth Dern. While no child wants to hear it, what Diane loved about Bruce was the physical intimacy. Diane seen Bruce as a very thoughtful lover whom could be very romantic. Bruce was considerate as a partner. 

The worst part of Bruce that Diane didn't like was that he had lied so much as a child. His parents didn't do anything about it. Bruce just made up shit even if it wasn't truthful. If a REAL TRUE story wasn't good enough, Bruce would lie to make it sound better. Laura picked up what her mother was saying. . . having experienced it herself hearing stories from her dad. Every time Laura heard a story from her dad, she realized it sounded too good, and wonder the truth v. exaggeration of her of her stories. While some of Bruce's stories were embellishments, he lead such a fascinating life, so some of his were debatable between fact v. fiction. Bruce appreciated a cozy home and he had very good taste. He left Diane to do whatever she wanted. He didn't care. If they had the money, Bruce wanted to spend it. Diane truly loved and appreciated Laura asking these questions. You want to know until you do. Better now than too late to never know. 

Laura, Diane and Laura's kids.. Ellery & Jaya

During story swaps of Laura's kids, she revealed to her mom that she's been hurt so much in the past that she thinks she preferred to avoid complicated relationships rather than risk detailing with trust issues again. In her 20s/30s, Laura wasted too much time and energy trying to be everything to be everything else, but her TRUE self. Thinking  if she changed herself, she could change them in the process. But, Laura learned when you strategize all the time, you can't be a DEEP, TRUE person that even in the best stratosphere; you still can't trust. 

In looking at these various stories from her mom, Laura is realizing that Diane had shown her to truly cherish all forms of love in your life; there is no one designated  soul mate. That's been Laura's experience thus far. Laura has had a few great loves of her life, for which Laura has learned and grown from - all of them. She could never pick just one. At the age of her life now, Laura didn't know what is to come (as of this book's publication). Life may be different in the future, but not as of this life-point. But, when Laura was 12, she thought the love of her life/childhood crush when she did Foxes was her male lead in the film; Scott Baio. It was during his Chaci era. Diane tried to get the Baio family to meet with the Dern's on New Year's Eve. A 12-yr-old imagined the New Year's Eve scenario. Dressing herself to the 9's that matched.

After the Baio's arrived, while the families were there, Laura felt like it was her 1st pre-teen date with families abound. But, comedy came around soon later when the family dog "got her time of the month" on Scott's finely dressed clothes. Laura remembered her mom's answer about club soda. She tried it and made the situation worse for an embarrassed Laura. At the end of the night, Scott was lovely about it and the night ended beautifully. . . .for Scott, whom was already previously involved with someone else. Diane tried to comfort Laura with a milk & cookies plater. But it taught Laura a lesson. . .

Laura was so clueless about boys. Realizing in this country, girls are never taught enough about sex. Diane was quick to remind Laura otherwise. That she was taught when Laura was about 8-yrs-old and they were on a cruise. An artists' collective cruise of writers and actors! Richard Dreyfuss proved to be good company. Laura was able to overhear ALOT, which became confusing information. Looking back, in retrospect, Laura wishes she'd discussed and TALKED about life in a REAL way. It might've saved Laura time to sort it all out later. Diane felt part of her reasoning for not sharing so much with Laura due to embarrassment and/or shyness since Diane came from an era where such subjects weren't discussed! Scenes of Diane's films were based on matters her life that were echoed in films they made and scenes that were shot. 

One thing is for sure, Diane certainly never sheltered Laura. When Laura got to RADA in London as a teenager, she unpacked her suitcase and found herself saddled with a bag of condoms. Diane was ceremoniously packed for her. But then Diane seemed shocked when Laura lost her virginity. Then again, Diane didn't give Laura condoms with the intent of using them. It is known that when opposite sexes share the same experiences boys don't want to feel the shame. The irony is that boys sexuality is a given and for girls is still so taboo! Thus began conversation of peer pressure within the classroom and the generational differences between mother/daughter/grandchildren. From Diane's memory of Bruce, which her irreverence was a trait that Laura inherited from her dad. But, it was/would've been less embarrassing if Bruce hadn't repeated the story in Playboy. . .but Laura  felt relieved she'd lost her virginity the years prior. . . which was a TRULY bullshit story that Laura laid on her mom. For what became a terror for a mom, Laura found a way to mess with her mom. But, Laura remembers her mom's confusing words for years on why men should "wear a raincoat during sex", which became remembrance of words/warnings she heard from her mom during Laura's growing up formative years. Those words that every kid remembers growing up.

During their previous walk, mother/daughter discussed what were the happy(est) times of her marriage to Bruce; now Laura wanted her mom to open up and delve into the bad times. After Laura & Diane are now in the ex-wife realm, without judgement and pure honesty from one divorcee to another, Laura wanted to open up with her mom on the heartbreak one another had lived through. They began back at the beginning of each of their own. Looking back, Laura realized she heard more than she should have. When Laura was growing up, the only topics she heard growing up were money & indefinitely. What a parent thinks they're hiding, a child ALWAYS remembers. When Bruce & Laura divorced, Laura was only 2-yrs-old. What Laura remembers were the tears of fallout. Parental arguments about child-support or tuition payments. From old resentments to muffled accusations that became quite painful, there were things that Laura allowed her own kids to hear that were triggering from Laura's childhood that moved on generationally. 

Laura loved being with her dad. She may not have seen him as often as she would've liked, but Laura was happy for the time with her dad. Happy special moments show only to see the good of people from the past, not a full story . . .and Diane worked overtime to give Laura a loving home with playdates & fun. Within the conversation, Diane realized she NEVER got/heard Laura's side of her daughter's divorce. It behooved Diane when her mom asked if Laura had cheated! Never ever. Diane never ever cheated on Bruce or any man henceforth, after Laura cheated on somebody once. Laura cheated with someone who, unbeknownst to her, was a married man and he was free to remain married. Laura felt like shit due to betraying another woman and failing her. Even though Laura didn't know the wife of the married man, she still felt shitty. In a psychological sense of looking at it, Laura didn't want to SEE what was right in front of her. Manipulating herself into a fairy tale that wouldn't have ended well. It can be hard to forgive the senses of betrayal. But, it cannot be not be totally unreasonable. Thus began questions where Diane thought memories were true; but an irritated and frustrated Laura put rumors to rest.

The affair ended due to this guy being a married man to someone else while Laura was off making a movie that included a broken engagement. To get over the affair, Laura went on a road trip with a friend around the country; taking photos of their trip and and freed herself from the distrainment of the affair which in essence freed herself by surrendering to it. Despite what/the way Laura's love life had gone, Diane was happy to hear that Laura has a positive attitude/outlook, which took Diane a long time to get and reach that happy balance. Divorces themselves threw Diane for a loop, and after each of them, she made some poor choices. After her divorce from Bruce, Diane regrettably threw herself into a marriage. It was in 1969 and Diane was just in a bad place. When Diane was going through her 2ND divorce, mother/daughter had to move from the apartment they loved in New York they resided in for a couple of years. Laura loved being a child living in New York with memories abound. It was so magical! taking in the city's offerings and remembering special sites that had meaning to each of them.

As they venture onto this new day's walking venture, Diane can feel her lungs are finally healing. New lung tissue is being formed. And the scar tissue is fading away. Unbelievable! Laura was interested in her mother's point of view on being mother's and being working mother's - and the stigma of that in itself. Laura thinks and shows gratitude to Diane for showing /being an example of a single, working mother. When Laura thought about the beginning of her own divorce, and all that goes with it; albeit she didn't reach out to her mom. Laura was so afraid of the idea of her kids not having their dad in the primary home; like Laura didn't. But, Laura will say that out of all of the fears she had for her children. . .Laura NEVER feared being a single mom, because she grew up seeing her mom as an example of Laura's possible future. Learn from her parent. You're not special and neither are they. Learn from them. It could happen to you. Nothing could've ever prepared Diane for the just plain love from a daughter, Laura. That emotion put an emotionally fragile Diane to have to sit and take Laura's words in and rest.

Laura with her children

Laura does feel like her daughter, Jaya, needs her mother, and Laura needs her. While they are women in a business, they are lucky to accommodate business - into motherhood. When Diane was raising Laura, you could never have a child on-set. You hear of LEGENDS helping implement daycare at Desilu; but it was harder when you're doing independent films the studio didn't back; which meant not covering the actress' childcare. Laura reminded her mom that it's even harder when you are the boss; which reminded Laura of the time when the director of the film; Ramblin' Rose cared for her baby child on-set. Nursing and the crew asked her not to due to coming off weak - just for being a mother. Which could NOT have been an even better compliment in itself. With the anxiety building up in the conversation; things were taking a turn with Laura's life catching up to her for a rest to sit down!

Due to the women feeding their babies, it was looked at as a sign of weakness. But, women in Diane's acting ear complained and said they wanted to feel safe on-set. Over time, these kinds of moments really led to a change. One day in the 1st season of Big Little Lies, Laura so wanted to bring Jaya on-set. She was 10 and on a school break and wanted to try to be professional; and a child would be distracting. But, Laura had to fight it and be a working mom; knowing Jaya could help run lines and play with the kids on-set. Then, Nicole Kidman walked in and her twin girls wanted to see Laura's girls. In essence, they had initially created a Big Little Lies daycare center. It was brilliant!

That speaks to Reese & Nicole's relationship as producers. The bonus of it was that the show focused on motherhood. They found a way to create a community where women as a society (outside of those of your particular own if you don't have it in your own form), supported one another in family needs as well as the needs of workplace needs. From then on, Reese & Nicole's children were there sporatically. Laura personally believed that their own kids on-set became a better benefit on-set became a better benefit than harmful for the show itself; making it more family-friendly oriented! Making it a better working environment for the cast/crew. Laura brought up this discussion due to the hardship they face as mothers who work. Diane had her mom with her during her time when she worked which made it easier with Laura. Laura's grandmother & Diane, separate from their mother/daughter relationship, were incredible partners in co-parenting Laura after Diane & Bruce's divorce. And Laura was/is ever more grateful for it. 

There is such a difference between the mother/daughter/grandmother relationship. Diane's connection to Laura is so different to her than her grandchildren; whereas Diane explains to Laura the emotional differentiating the 2. And the hardships as mothers they shared as opposed one another. Either way, the pain is REAL! 

Laura did have a heart for her children. She's the one who fell for a musician for a husband. . .but, her children didn't ask for an absent musician for their father to be working. They knew when he's home and when he is touring. But, it's Laura; their mother, giving them consistency & structure. But, in the same onclarence, Laura's schedule is also hectic due to acting work. Laura felt like shit due to having the working/parent balance the same as Ben; but the majority of unfair guilt fell on mother's. Diane was reminding Laura that her daughter, Jaya, was lucky. She learned more by being with her mom than other kids who had stability. Laura was able to be backstage, meet politicians and SEE people in all walks of life. And DAMN! did Laura get an education and some wisdom from the lessons.

; From Laura's point, Diane seemed to be getting offended from the angle Laura was coming from in at. Being a working mother and having to defend it. It's not always easy. The manner in which Laura was talking about was her kids' principal giving Laura a hard time over her own parenting, and Diane immediately jumped in and felt defensive at the conversation's misgivings. Diane referenced that Laura learned a lot from the life Laura led. Laura had/has endured! Laura was trying to be HONEST with her mom about REAL pain in Laura's life. When Diane wasn't working, she tried to be there for Laura, pitching in on Laura's activities when she could. Diane did her best to be there for Laura and her grandchildren the best of Diane's ability. . which is all a grandparent can do . . .therein reminding Laura of memories of Diane's moments as a grandmother. Tracing memories back of Diane's moments of her own life that aged with her grandchildren. I was doing this when they were doing this at this age. . .

At this point, Diane had been married to her husband, Robert, for 23 years, and her granddaughter is 20, which, during this book's writing, was 14-years-ago. At a young age, Laura felt Diane slapped homophobia into her grandchildren - accidentally, over a haircut v. long hair for teenagers. Leading to a discussal argument on old v. new generation. 2 steps forward to go 1 step back.

There are some things a parent remembers v. the way a child does. Either way, some things will NEVER be put to REST! The only thing each can do is try to see the other's side, know where you stand and agree to disagree.   

As Diane waited for Laura the next morning, it was very hard for them to see the truth, or see the sun when it was hidden behind a cloud. And Laura helped her mom try to remove the cloud, to let the sun shine on them. In doing this, mother/daughter learned something from themselves; for which Laura & Diane forever cherished. Diane was forever grateful for Laura for helping her mother fight for her life and prove that doctors can be wrong. Going through these moments of their lives gave one another GRATITUDE for them, hoping they each take care of themselves. In this new venture trek point HERE!, without freaking out her mom, KNOWING she was strong enough to do so, as they in the cold freeze walk down their old street to see their former family home. Without cruelty, Laura wanted to push her mom in the cold to healthfully stretch her limits. 

Laura thought it might be healthy for both of them to talk about what hasn't been said among one another throughout the years. So, here they go. . . 

On their trek, they walked to their former home where Bruce & Diane had divorced. And, where Laura was born! Going through the house, Laura continued to push her mother's strengths. But, Diane had to be careful. She couldn't get pneumonia or risk it - at her age. Diane felt Laura was going to be a driving force of sending her to the hospital due to this exercise in the cold. 

Once they reached the house, Diane was abound of memories. From Bruce & Diane - to the family of 3. This was the house they moved to when Bruce & Diane finally were able to get away from their previous home life to where life went down! Diane didn't like naming a child after a parent. She named her Laura due to wanting her to have her own unique identity, and the name of Elizabeth so that Laura and her mother would share a name. Laura was the JOY of the story of Bruce & Diane. While Diane held in the grief, and hard to get it out, but they never talked about it.

As a mother, Laura was/is the GREATEST blessing of her life. She felt she owed it to Laura to talk about it. Diane was bound & determined to teach Laura to protect herself and as a mother, Diane was DAMN NEAR DETERMINED to protect Laura . . .which Laura completely understood.

Maybe Diane's Richter scale was off; over protective and under-protective. Laura never did anything; any experimentation or fluidity for a DAMN GOOD reason. She never wanted her mother to have those wondering mother's mind moments. . .Where's my kid? How's my kid? Almost from birth, Laura could feel something was devastating and heartbreaking had already happened. What was it?. . .Time burnishing the edges, but the pain never goes away. One moment you feel good/great; the next you feel all hope is gone. Diane found herself, after her sickness, finding comfort in poems/prayers. Reciting either/or to sooth her mental stability.

Bruce & Diane

After the pain of losing a child, Laura's sister, Diane felt such guilt. She found it hard to trust God. Diane trusted just enough for another daughter to come her way. And it did; in the form of Laura Elizabeth Dern. That was faith! Diane had outlived many of her friends. . . but it was Laura's sister/Diane's daughter that HURT the most. As a parent, how do you survive/outlive losing a child? For 50+ years, Diane held onto that grief in her lungs. She held it in and now her lungs HURT! When you lose a child, there is a spiritual cord that breaks. It shocks/hurts physically & emotionally. Bruce had run away from the situation - emotionally. They were struggling actors who could barely make it. The Dern Family could've helped; but they didn't! It shattered them. And the years that followed were bad in every way. The first time Diane got pregnant again, she had a tubular pregnancy and almost died. Bruce & Diane couldn't get out of debt. They had NO TIME to grieve. It was horror after horror. How in the hell does one survive that? Bruce & Diane were a mirror of each other's pain. 

Laura felt like a replacement child for what her parents lost. But, Diane overly reassured her that Laura was NO replacement for the pain the family experienced prior to Laura being born. Diane was just GRATEFUL for the time; no matter the time-span, that she was able to have with that child in her arms for the 18 months they did.  

As they were talking through the house, Diane couldn't help but think about the end of her marriage. The moment came when Diane was away writing when her little voice sensed Bruce was up to no good. . .with a little female intuition. As Diane walked downstairs, Bruce was on the phone with another woman. So, help her God! Diane walked down the stairs and picked up the phone. She heard a girl's giggling voice with him. Bruce must've heard the phone click. She heard him ask in a shaking voice. The girl gasped and immediately hung up. Bruce walked into the room where Diane was holding the receiver and caught Bruce in a trap. For Diane, that was the end of her marriage, the last straw. Diane was one who hoped to be one who never divorce. But, she just couldn't take it anymore.

Diane got in the car, and Bruce had run after her, and jumped into the car too! Bruce began to do a number of drama for the therapist, but the therapist was not having it. At one point, the therapist literally grabbed Bruce by the neck and pushed him against the wall. SWEAR THE TRUTH! That was it. Diane was DONE! Bruce had given Diane her children. Diane had loved him. Bruce was a great lover in his own way. For a moment in time, Diane couldn't even hate him. She was numb. Burned. Ash bound. Diane & Bruce probably could've stayed married if they'd been more involved. Bruce & Diane could've had a great life. Their marriage may not have lasted; but their foundation never faltered. They were still friends and worked great together. The way Diane dealt with the breakup was that she bought Bruce a beautiful suit, unconsciously, so that Bruce may find love again. Diane didn't want Bruce to mourn her. A lesson to let go. If someone wants to move on, you just let them. This is a story Laura wasn't going to buy after hearing her parents backstory thus far.  But, Diane was telling the truth. She wanted to take the higher road. But, Diane was jealous. 

One time, Diane went after the girl Bruce had been talking to with her high heel. She tried to pull this woman's eyes out. Thank goodness someone held her back. That became a more believable story for Laura to hear. Laura couldn't believe this was her childhood/upbringing that she didn't know. Then, it became more chilly outside to check Diane's oxygen. . .that read 89. Under 90,  Diane had to rest with an oxygen tank. But, before they headed back . . .Laura wanted her mom to breathe in the atmosphere of their surroundings. You can't control what happens, but what you do with it MATTERS! The faith that Diane put in Bruce was a beautifully gorgeous act of love. But, the greatest end of their love story was Laura Elizabeth Dern. 

Walking slowly, Laura wanted her mom to think. After the divorce, Bruce moved into an apartment building at the end of the block to stay close. Diane did get through the divorce. . .as she did walking to the car by focusing and breathing one moment at a
time. As Laura was lost in thought that morning waiting for her mom that it was very hard for Diane to see the truth, or see the sun behind the clouds, to let the lights shine. After the previous days walk, Diane felt lighter. When she went home, Diane fell in a deep sleep for the first time in a long time. Diane felt tremendous guilt and regret over the death of her first child, Elizabeth Dern. Diane felt a new feeling; pride that she continued with her life and hadn't succumbed to grief. Laura was able to unknowingly give her mother that forgiveness. She was able to get her mom to go somewhere vulnerable that Diane would NEVER have gotten to without her.

Laura was able to take an arrow of pain and pull it out of her mom. She did that by being with her every step of the way side-by-side. Laura pushed her mom to go whenever/wherever Diane couldn't; the layers of the past fell of her life layers of an onion. With nothing more than love & wisdom. After surviving the imaginable, Diane did OK. Life slapped her against the wall, but Diane came back. She worked, and had a second child. Diane had grandchildren. Laura taught her mother that the wind blows; but the sun always shines . . .with Laura Elizabeth being the sun that rises/shines again.  

On their final walk, Diane confessed that Laura was right about  producing her cannula into her character, Nell O'Brien, of the Hallmark series Chesapeake Shores, if Diane needed it. And there was a temporary ban, for starters, on the spraying of glyphosates. Laura thought her mom should be so proud of what Diane had accomplished for the health she acquired - and for Diane's ability to be able to work again. And that Diane was strong enough to regain her strength. The walking & talking they've done to improve Diane's health has indeed worked! Prolonging Diane's life for the greater. She KNEW it did. If they hadn't, Diane would've been dead 6 months before they ever began their walks. Instead, here they were, and Diane is SO MUCH STRONGER. It made Diane angry to hear of those who just gave up without resources to fight back their health. If it hadn't been for Laura, medical personnel would've written Diane off physically. Whenever Diane is well enough soon, she'd work again.

Laura, Jaya & Ellery

The more Laura freaks out over seeing her kids growing up, her mom reminds her that Laura did a good job raising her kids with independence. They're ready to make their way into the world. Laura gave them the brilliance & freedom they needed to see the world in their own eyes. They have a beautiful foundation, more in terms of education and love than what was given to her, and their passion to be themselves was freed. It was beautiful for Laura to ask the tough questions now with her mom. . .before it was too late and everything was unanswered. But, here is a question. . .if this was the end; what would you want you legacy to be? Laura learned to do the DEEP searches under the learning guise of her mother.  And the legacy questions are ones you ask once you reach a certain age, because you feel you have to remind everyone of everything you ever did. People forget so quickly. So much happens in life that we forget who were and what mattered when the time came and went.

Diane was nominated 3x for an Oscar and won 70+ awards  for her country, including the British Academy Award over Ingrid Bergman. God gave Diane talent and she worked HARD, but was purely lucky. She became a S.A.G. Board Member for over 30 years. Diane was fighting to pay it forward for those not so lucky. After all the work she's done; Diane refused to let her work die with her. Diane wanted to be present for her grandchildren. But, in TRUE honesty, Diane's legacy is Laura Elizabeth.

Laura's gift that she gave to the world is the BEST PART of her mother. In talking with her mom about her own children, Laura is realizing that  NO MATTER what she does, children's childhoods are going to be what they are..NO ONE can change that. Feeling that way is one of the HARDEST parts of being a mother. What Laura has given her children in essence of tools of the world, to set them up to better the world? No matter what Laura does, she, like ANY mother, is NEVER done! The relationship is endless. Those ties NEVER sever. You're ALWAYS connected! They're ALWAYS your baby. NO matter the age. They're always your baby. As her own children grow into their paths & people, Laura finds herself closer to and with them than ever.

As parents/children grow into who they're meant to be, you each fly into your own continuation of yourself in who you were MEANT TO BE! As we age, the memories of who we are coming flooding abound. Once we reach a certain age, NO MATTER what happens, that connection is NEVER lost. And as Laura/Diane ventured these walks; yes they built momentum/memories. But even better, they STRENGTHENED their BOND as mother/daughter with time they will FOREVER cherish & hold with memories that lasts FOREVER! The time you have flies until you find each other again.  . . .

As an ending to this book/story's publication,

Rose Diane Ladner (Diane Ladd) sadly passed away from the pulmonary lung disease that had taken so much away from her on November 3, 2025 after exceeding doctor's expectations and living more and celebrating a LIFE more than ever medically possibly. 

Diane is FOREVER  immersed and IMMORTALIZED in REAL HOLLYWOOD HISTORY! and remembered as a remarkably beautiful mother and grandmother.

Rose Diane Ladner (Diane Ladd)

1935-2025