Saturday, May 18, 2013

The Vow


This next TRUE-to-FORM story written by the REAL couple themselves recounts how they fell in love and what it took to get back to who they were. After a HORRIFIC car accident that not only took away the wife's memory, it also took the memory of her recollection of her husband and marriage. This book tells what what TRULY happened and the lived story of Kim and Krickitt Carpenter.

Originally a basketball coach who found himself ordering uniforms for his team, Kim was becoming more interested in the salesperson's voice w/ the odd name, Krickitt. He was in CA and she was in New Mexico. He liked the sound of her voice and would continue to call and order more just to hear the voice he couldn't  forget. The jackets he ordered made him popular w/ everyone in his workplace. Everyone wanted one. So he ordered more. A few months went by discussing more than business. Eventually since she wouldn't be working on the day an order was due in, Krickitt gave Kim her home number. Before long, calls were spent getting to know each other. Since this was before e-mails/texting, Kim's phone bills went from nothing to $500.00 month. She/Krickitt was more than worth it.

Kim thought Krickitt put him to shame when it came to sports. She studied gymnastics her whole life and got multiple scholarships w/ reputable programs. She chose California State and eventually tore her ACL during her senior year. Krickitt's faith as a Christian was her life. They had TRULY matched together and realized they were serious about their religion at the exact same age. When Kim seen how DEVOTED Krickitt was in her faith, he was AMAZED. Phone calls evolved just the same as letters did. Then photos revealing each others beauty.

After 2 months of discussion, Krickitt made the trip to meet in New Mexico face-to-face. Kim made the 2hr trip to Albuquerque to pick her up from the airport. Seeing her picture was one thing, seeing her in the flesh was something else. Once they didn't have to worry about the phone bills, talking became non-stop. Talking all night without realizing it. Krickitt went to Kim's basketball games. Kim was depressed w/ ALOT going on and he opened up to her like never before. After spending a nice weekend together, they couldn't get enough of each other. When Kim had a trip in San Diego, he combined it w/ a trip to visit Krickitt in Anaheim. She introduced him to her family and friends. Her dad, Gus and Kim hit it off w/ their baseball connection having an instant bond.

Even though they were miles apart and it had only been 8 weeks since they met, marriage was in the air. After Kim asked Krickitt's dad for permission, her dad was Honored to have Kim as a son-in-law. He/Kim managed to get help from Krickitt's roommates and she accepted his proposal. After accepting, they set the date for September 18TH. Kim went back to Las Vegas to prepare their apartment and Krickitt jumped into wedding planning. On the evening of September 18, 1993, Kim and Krickett recited their vows and exchanged rings in an unforgettable fashion.

After their honeymoon in Las Vegas and New Mexico, Krickitt had to start over in a new environment which was NO PROBLEM. She also took a position as an exercise tech at a hospital. Around this point, it was around Thanksgiving. They were en route to Krickitt's parents house in Arizona from their home in New Mexico. After arriving toward the Arizona border, Kim felt he was getting sick/coming down w/ something. He went to lay in the backseat of their cramped, small car; a Ford Escort. It was around 6:00P, they were passing through Gallup. It was getting dark fast. Kim was trying to find comfort and found a little bit. All of a sudden, Kim was jolted awake by a firm yell 'Watch Out' as the car swerved to the left. He/Kim rose up to feel the impact thrust him into the back of Krickitt's seat, towards the driver's door. Through the driver's side mirror, Kim could see headlights getting larger. Their car was involved in a collision w/ 2 trucks on 11-24-1993.

Krickitt had come up behind a red flatbed truck that began having engine trouble. As a result, the truck driver slowed into the right lane. Traveling at normal speed, Krickitt came up behind the truck, which was behind the truck, which was hidden in a cloud of black smoke. Krickitt couldn't see it from a distance - she hit the brake hard and swerved to the left. At the same time, a pickup truck followed too close behind them and closed in on them. The impact had sent their car careening through the air at 30 ft, slammed to the ground, rolled 1 & 1/2 times then slid at 106 ft, stopping at the shoulder of the road.

After they were hit and despite his condition, all Kim could think of was his wife. Kim screamed for Krickitt and was answered in silence. After realizing his surroundings, Kim screamed for his wife and his voice died out. He felt wet splotches on his face and seen it was blood and tried to find it's origin. He tried to stop them, but the blood kept coming. He suddenly figured that it wasn't his blood. Krickitt was suspended upside down by her seat-belt. Krickitt's arms dangled, her eyes were closed and she didn't move. Even w/  a few feet in between, Kim couldn't reach her. He thought she might be dead. Kim went into a HARD voice for Krickitt's attention. She stirred a little, let out a ragged breath, her eyes didn't open and went still again.

Kim kept trying to figure out why, with nothing on top of him holding him, why he couldn't move. After awhile he realized he had NO feeling in his legs and was unable to move from the waist down. His nose was in bad condition. He finally heard another voice reaching out to help. Thinking it was Krickitt, he turned to see the face of a Good Samaritan. Their passenger who had ridden shotgun made it through the whole ordeal w/ only a separated shoulder. Kim was pulled out of the car by the Samaritan by grabbing this person's shoulders and he held onto Kim w/ one hand while he used the other to help scoop them backwards from the car and over to safety.

Just then another vehicle stopped w/ a husband and wife w /kids in the car. As they got out and approached, they seen it was someone who knew them. It was a cousin to the Carpenter couple. Kim felt blessed at that moment that someone had encountered them - someone they knew. Krickitt drifted in/out of consciousness, a CLASSIC symptom of severe brain injury. Kim had other facial lacerations, 2 cracked ribs and a broken hand. When Krickitt officially arrived at the ER, ALL ATTENTION focused on her. The ER gave him some treatment, but he wanted them to focus on his wife. With everything he was going through, Kim's MAIN concern was the status of his wife. Krickitt had to be airlifted to another hospital. Kim OFFICIALLY seen his wife for the first time after the accident in BAD condition. Kim went to his wife. He vowed and cried they would make it through this. Kim began crying at the love of his life being airlifted to somewhere else. Through emotional sobs, Kim called his family for help to get him to Krickitt.

With his dad's help and the help of his dad's friend, who happened to be a former fire chief and well known in town, Kim was able to be signed out and released against medical advice: even w/ damage to his nose, pain while breathing and, feeling his chest was on fire. The roads were bad and icy from a snowstorm. Through the pain of a damaged lung from a broken rib and in/out of freezing rain, medical services reached Kim and Krickitt to University Of New Mexico Hospital. Kim's dad pre-called in advance of their coming. All Kim had received at that point was basic first-aid and it was only 10 hrs since the accident. 

A friend of their's had been there at Krickitt's hospital when Kim arrived. When Kim arrived, he was yelling for Krickitt's whereabouts. The friend FINALLY informed him of Krickitt. She was hanging on in the I.C.U. The same ones working on Krickitt came to work on Kim and ordered different testing. The medical staff found Kim's back had been hurting so bad due to shivers of glass from the car's sunroof were wedged into his back. Some were 4" long. While he kept asking about his wife, the admitting physician in Albuquerque had given Krickitt less than 1% chance of survival. Her only hope was a miracle.

The ER managed to fix what they could on Kim, but he refused to be admitted before he seen Krickitt. She was still in I.C.U. Even though he was escorted there by wheelchair, Kim thankfully did appreciate it after falling back after seeing Krickitt's condition being hooked up to many machines. She was stranded down flailing w/ seizures. She was swollen. Krickitt's eyes and lips were deep purple. Obviously tubes and I.V.'s were into her arms and one foot. She was sedated and couldn't talk. A glimmer of hope came when Krickitt squeezed Kim's hand in response to his. Somewhere Krickitt was still in there. It may be something small. . . but it was something. Kim was ecstatic. By morning, the ENTIRE family was there. 

Because of how long this had been already, doctors thought despite the contrary, that Krickitt could survive this. Without oxygen and blood flow, even with it's return, Krickitt would be in a vegetative state. Everyone in the chapel was praying. Word spread of Krickitt's condition and by the end of the day, people in other countries were praying for her. After their prayers and Kim's return to the room, after the long wait and patience, Krickitt's numbers were improving; her brain pressure was going down, but with a critical BP.  When they went to the chapel again to pray w/ their own pastor, Krickitt's BP was on a steady rise. As the hours passed, Krickitt became more alert. Five days after the accident and the Monday following Thanksgiving, Krickitt was moved from the I.C.U. to acute care and taken off life support. Krickitt was actually alert enough to move around and talk a little.With a doctor's permission, Kim was feeding Krickitt some ice chips. She ate them from his fingers. After confessing his love to her, quietly Kim heard what he'd been DYING TO HEAR from his wife since the accident.

Krickitt in the hospital
In the rarest of times that Krickitt's eyes were open, they were frozen in a doll-like stare. She would look at things without any recognition while having NO IDEA what was going on. After focusing on a plate of Jell-o from across the room, Krickitt became more ALIVE than she had been. Kim was overjoyed. She began sitting up, then standing, then she began taking tiny steps across the room, with Kim on one side of her and an attendant on the other. She was admitted for the BEST further care immediately. She was admitted on a Friday, which gave her the weekend to get used to the surroundings. During Krickitt's time there, Kim would go around and see other patients and their recovery. It made him joyous to know Krickitt would eventually join them within her own recovery process. On Krickitt's first full day there, Kim and a nurse took her there by wheelchair for lunch in the patient cafeteria of the hospital. The experience somewhat scared Krickitt, looking around and seeing other patients w/ debilitating neurological conditions. Kim asked her about her well-being. He hadn't expected her response. In spite of the situation, Kim was joyed. After this experience, they just ate in Krickitt's room until she could go to the "NORMAL" cafeteria. Despite the experience, the taste of food was one of the pleasures Krickitt appreciated. She loved to eat and Kim loved it as well because it was one of the times he would see his wife the most animated. Krickitt soon began eating on her own. She would connect more-and-more each time.

It was hard to believe considering 2 weeks ago, Krickitt was disoriented and only awake 2 hrs a day; considering sleeping 20 hrs a day, couldn't carry on a conversation for more than a minute. Kim wasn't sure of how Krickitt's first day of this rehab would be like. He/Kim had gotten there early, planning to get Krickitt ready for the days events. He tried gently shaking her, waking her up - NO RESPONSE. Right then, the doctor came in and re-assured Kim w/ a handshake. He then leaned over to Krickitt. The doctor firmly tried to wake Krickitt to no response again. Then all of a sudden, the doctor went and gave her a firm pinch inside her front collar. With that, she screamed profanity. Either way, it worked! The doctor had Krickitt's attention.

Kim, himself, had been in/out of the hospital a total of six times, but never overnight. He couldn't stand to be away from his wife. It TERRIFIED him that she would die in his absence, even though she was still improving. Even w/ the repairs to his nose and ear, Kim's back was something else. He was in CONSTANT pain. He had searing nerve pain up/down his spine. He had to take strong painkillers to get through the day. Their brand new car was completely crushed w/ bloodstains and hair. Kim thought of their short married life and all they had already been through. Since Kim was to stay w/ Krickitt in Arizona during her rehab stay, he stayed w/ her parents. On the home front, Kim & Krickitt had things taken care of by friends. Kim's life at that point had become a world of doctors and hospital life. His life before this was like a dream.

After a short time in therapy, Krickitt was improving. She was more interactive. Therapy was still VERY active. She began moving slowly from the coma scale and wanted to write in her journal. With her therapy, Krickitt's I Love You's became the first sign of normalcy. Her signs about religion were another. When the therapist asked her questions, she was coming through with answers. But, when asked about her husband, Krickitt looked around and replied "she wasn't married". The therapist tried again with the question. She/Krickitt replied it was Todd, her old boyfriend from California. They repeated the question to her again. Again Krickitt replied "she wasn't married".

After awhile Kim figured Krickitt seen him as just the same as the hospital staff. Just a countless face in her hospital room. Kim went staggering out of Krickitt's room and began hammering the walls w/ his fists. After letting his frustration out, spent & defeated, Krickitt's neuropsychologist explained that she had 2 kinds of amnesia caused by the accident. The first one was post-traumatic amnesia which confused Krickitt's surroundings. The second was retrograde amnesia, which was a permanent loss of short-term memory. She remembers NOTHING from the last year and a half. Kim beat himself up mentally over Krickitt's welfare and what was to be of them within her memory loss. He couldn't sleep, relax and quit stressing.

Krickitt soon got into a routine w/ her therapy. She was making progress in her coordination, walking, talking and reasoning. However, everything was a process; of course! Gradually, things were becoming natural. Krickitt didn't seem to mind Kim being around, even though she talked and treated him the same as other familiar faces at the rehab. Their conversations and interactions were strictly neutral. From the time she began talking again, Krickitt was acting weirdly childlike. It seemed like a permanent part of her personality; Ex. - tantrums and wild mood swings. It would remind Kim of a little girl. Krickitt was NOTHING like the woman she was before. Kim had learned this was normal for someone w/ her injuries. Kim tried to focus on the positivity in her recovery. Krickitt was having "flash/snapshot memories" of a specific moment during the last year. That was where Kim placed his hope. The advice, encouragement and love from their families helped hold Kim together when he should've fallen apart.

If it wasn't for family, Kim would've come unglued. Keeping everything bottled up. They seen a little more improvement w/ Krickitt each week. She was becoming stronger and more independent. Kim was actually happier, oddly, about Krickitt's desire to shop or look for great deals. Thanks to the shopping, Krickitt WANTED to go for walks often, which only helped her recovery. Kim tells a story of Krickitt's progress to recovery. Kim looked for indications of the old Krickitt. Since he couldn't reach her as a husband, he tried to reach her as a coach. If Krickitt's therapist wanted 10 sit-ups, Kim wanted 20. Krickitt wasn't happy.  Kim was her personal cheerleader. He knew that she was in a slowly, recovering body struggling to get out.

Kim was heavily in tough love mode. He couldn't seem to build more than a casual relationship w/ his wife. NO MATTER what he did or tried. Kim came to the possibility, at times, the woman he married no longer existed. He felt, at times, his wife was with him, but at times she wasn't. After about a month in rehab, doctors told them Krickitt could be released to live w/ her parents and be treated as an outpatient. On 1-13-1994, seven weeks after the accident, Krickitt was at her parents house in Arizona. Kim and Krickitt would have their highs/lows and be on an emotional roller coaster. Kim, at this point, agreed by suggestion to get back to his own normalcy. When he returned, Kim seen notice of a fund drive and the community who had very little to give, but were willing to sacrifice to help them with the OUTRAGEOUS medical bills.

Kim badly wanted Krickitt to improve. He pushed her as a couch, because he thought it was best for her. In her disoriented state, Krickitt didn't know what she wanted. Kim thought she didn't love him and it was breaking his heart. The doctors  had warned Kim to expect the unexpected. Even w/ people in the room, Krickitt would sometimes grab Kim without warning him. When he would resist, she'd imply"he didn't love her anymore because she's disabled". Kim admits to wanting his physical part of his relationship back, but it was too strange emotionally. At that point, Krickitt was more like a daughter than a wife. When visiting their apartment w/ family and friends, as by suggestion from Krickitt's doctor's, it was obvious she remembers nothing. Even the china pattern she carefully chose herself had no bearing to her. Krickitt was a stranger in the home w/ her husband.

Kim knew he had made a vow until death do they part, but he also knew he had to be realistic. He was fearful of the possible reality of their situation. There were times when it seemed Krickitt was accepting of her life. "Remembering the guy who calls and hangs out." Kim was overjoyed she at least remembers spending time w/ him. Phone calls were becoming exciting. Krickitt's mom would call and put her on the line. Kim believed they were going to make it. It was more conformation that Krickitt was warming up to him. Ever since Krickitt came out of the coma, she kept telling everyone she felt she was in a dream that everyone was all a part of. She insisted there never was a wreck and she was never married.

Every few weeks, Krickitt went back to their apartment and seen everything as before. She only remembered from being there prior going through the emotions as it was the first time, but nothing seemed to connect w/ her past. Krickitt finally progressed enough to be released from the outpatient program. Despite her  memory, Krickitt was excited about going home to Las Vegas. Even though she lashed out, they were definitely beginning to rebuild their relationship. Krickitt's journal entries from that time showed that she TRULY did want to be who she was prior to the accident. She did show longing for Kim whenever in his absence. Kim did try to hold on to the memories that were being created. The hospital staff was skeptical of travel, but everyone signed off and Krickitt was officially released from the hospital on 4-14-1994.

Trying to officially settle into married life at home became a disaster. They couldn't relax around each other. A few days after getting home, Krickitt wondered what was her "normal" routine? A day or 2 later, after an argument, Krickitt called her mom. Kim found her a half a mile away  on a pay phone, a small argument made for Kim to walk away and want for Krickitt to calm down. They would have ups/downs of kindness and frustration. Krickitt was improving on a medical standpoint, but their relationship was in ruins. Kim felt like he was living w/ 2 women in one body.

Kim was diagnosed w/ PTSD. He was prescribed antidepressants, painkillers and HEAVY DUTY sleeping pills to make it through.  Kim's boss began to reach out to him and offer help to Kim. In the end, he couldn't focus on his job and the welfare for Krickitt so he had to resign from his job as a coach. He knew he made the right choice and set out to focus on his new job: taking care of Krickitt. During the summer, she had recovered enough to work part-time as a tech at the same hospital fitness center where she was working prior. Kim, at the same time, seen signs of the old Krickitt.

During the same time, Krickitt's attacks on Kim were more brutal. It wasn't her words, now it was more her actions following. It was an EXTREME stress building situation from frustration. The more Krickitt recovered physically , the worst Kim felt due to them growing distant emotionally. Krickitt NEVER recovered her memory of their meeting, engagement, marriage or anything of their life together. After needing someone to talk about Krickitt, Kim called the state psychiatric hospital for an appointment. After his first appointment, Kim seen what an impact and insight this doctor had. The doctor broke ALOT down for Kim. When Krickitt was joined in their conversations, it helped ALOT! It jump-started getting their lines back in sync. What they NEEDED to do was re-establish the quality of their marriage and rebuild a shared history.

They had to re-get to know each other and re-date. Kim had to re-date his own wife. A second chance to know each other. At first he was against it to renew their wedding vows, Kim did it because he knew it would make Krickitt happy. What she wanted was something returned to her heart. The 2ND wedding resided a little outside of Las Vegas. Some very special people shared their enjoyment. Kim and Krickitt's new wedding day was 5-25-1996. They never again tried to jog her memory. They gave everything and put it in God's hands. And to their futures.


The only difference from the first wedding to the second was only the media. People who heard their love story were encouraged by it. One media outlet story led to another. Kim and Krickitt were excited to see that reporters/media didn't gloss over or fail to mention the importance of their faith in their lives. They were warned once their story was fed to the AP (Associated Press), their lives would NEVER be the same. They truly did change - their lives did. Kim and Krickitt gave 'Inside Edition' exclusive video rights to cover the actual wedding ceremony and more. One thing led to another and they were soon supermarket tabloids. One of their most memorable shows they did was with Sally Jesse Raphael. Sally truly wanted them to appear on her show because Sally had as son w/ a head injury caused by a motorcycle crash. Sally seen it as a way to speak out on the effects of such injuries. Sally knew firsthand what they were going through and vice versa. They spent the rest of 1996 on the talk show circuit.

A year and a half after their second wedding, Kim and Krickitt together began working on their first book, which was published in 2000. The one who had guided them through the paper media stepped in to guide them through the motion picture media. After signing a movie deal in 1996 w/ Spyglass Entertainment and Sony ScreenGems, 14 years later the movie 'The Vow' w/ Rachel McAdams and Channing Tatum was released. Kim and Krickitt did spend time on-set w/ both Rachael and Channing. The frame work was still in place and thought the portrayal was EXCELLENT. Kim even cried while watching the movie. They moved into Krickitt's hometown of Farmington, New Mexico in 1998. Kim became chief administrator in a partnership program between colleges. He continued working for Highlands University. Krickitt started at a community fitness center and took on a bigger challenge: substitute teaching at a high school that became a full-time job.

When school let out for summer, Krickitt volunteered at San Juan Regional Medical Center in the Cardiopulmonary Rehab. After a month at the hospital, they OFFICIALLY hired her. In 1999, Kim and Krickitt were back on the 'Leeza' show to announce her pregnancy. On May 3, 2000, Kim and Krickitt welcomed a son, Danny James Carpenter, born at the same hospital. His first five weeks of life were on the TV shows. He was spoiled by Leeza Gibbons and Anne Curry, who truly had become friends over the years and sent gifts/flowers upon his birth. They had a daughter, LeeAnn Marie, in June 2003. She was named after Leeza and Ann, as well as, Krickitt's mom, Mary.

They almost had a setback when LeeAnn had fallen and hit her head. Even though she recovered quickly, five hours after the accident, Kim was experiencing deja vu from Krickitt's experience 15 years earlier. Their little girl had bleeding on the brain and had to be airlifted to a critical care unit. It wasn't long before they took her home. Thankfully, LeeAnn had no lasting effects.

Danny is a baseball superstar. Obviously, his dad went back into coaching. He is involved in various other sports. He takes after both of his parents. LeeAnn takes after her mom. She enjoys crafts, reading, writing and sports. Krickitt continues to improve mentally. After 18 years in higher education, Kim moved to the public sector and has worked as the San Juan County's C.E.O. He has a scuba certification and gotten his pilot's license, living life to the FULLEST. Although Krickitt NEVER regained her memory prior, their lives couldn't be better. They TRULY are blessed.


Even after 18 years after the accident, Kim and Krickitt continue to talk about their experience and their story. They use it to give back to those who are where they've been. Kim feels he has done that by the actions of his children. They had 2 weddings, along w/ rings, and commemorate BOTH anniversaries, old and new.

Kim, Krickitt, Danny & LeeAnn
   If anything, the story of Kim and Krickitt Carpenter is a story of FAITH!




Thursday, May 2, 2013

The Prophet

This CLASSIC piece of literature was originally published in 1923. Since July of 1997, this book has been in reprint 137 times. This book was BEAUTIFULLY written by Mr. Kahlil Gibran.

Unknown to me, I found this book to be full of wise sage and indirect honesty, while reading between the lines.

Accompanied w/ the writing is the ORIGINALLY wonderful illustrations to bring home the point of each GENUINE meaning, speaking on such subjects as love and REAL TRUE happiness.

Remember: It is TRULY and IN GOOD HEART to give than selfishly receive.

NEVER judge a person deliberately from the outside, SEE them for who they TRULY ARE. You may not see Freedom until you SEE Freedom. You can live your life in pain, but realize pain shows your REALness, as just a few examples.

To speak of teaching(s), I cannot give you the answers, but I can show you the way to get to it/them. Talking, in itself, can go two ways; it can kill a quiet & serene mood or it can make you escape your own loneliness. It is a FAR, FAR better doing for others rather than yourself (Better to give than to receive.)

You can wish for what you want in life, but at the same token, be careful what you wish for. Sometimes what you WANT is not always what you wanted and/or vice versa. When it came to the subject of beauty, only one quote helped me to understand the meaning in in this book: "Beauty is truth. Truth is beauty. That is all there is on Earth and all you need to know."  - John Keates  Until you know life, you will never really know death.


This book is FILLED w/ so much enlightenment. The enriched meaning is there in this book - if you read between the lines!


                                    In a way, this book is FULL of wise sage advice!