Then Again

This next book was written by a LEGENDARY screen actress who while telling her own story, she also beautifully tells the story of her own mother w/ the help of her mother's journals. This story is not just her story - but THEIRS, the one & only Diane Keaton and her mother, Dorothy Deanne Keaton.

Dorothy was a Kansas born native in 1921. Her parents drifted into CA when Dorothy was a young age. Dorothy gave up her college dreams when her father took off leaving her & her sisters to fend for themselves. Everything changed when Dorothy Keaton met Jack Hall. He had come to meet her sister, but only had eyes for her. They had eloped in Vegas at the Stardust.

Dorothy would enter contesting on the back of cereal boxes. She loved game shows. The family loved the game show 'Queen For A Day'. After Dorothy had applied for a Mrs. America pageant, Diane was 9-yrs-old at the time. It was something exciting, yet unpleasant. Diane secretly wished it was her on that stage. Six months later, Dorothy Hall was crowned again in this honor. When she was home, Dorothy was a homemaker to her husband & children. Even though some seen Dorothy as a housewife. Diane seen her mom struggling to find a medium.

Diane & Dorothy Keaton

The Keaton family was inspired into collaging after a trip to New York City and seeing the Museum Of Modern Art. Diane's brother, Randy, took it a step forward by becoming an actual collage artist. When Diane seen interaction affection w/ her parents, it filled Diane w/ awe. It gave her something to believe in w/ their love. Diane figured the only was to realize her #1 dream of becoming a musical Broadway star was to remain a daughter. Men & relationships would have to be put aside.

Diane was looking for an audience, so she auditioned for EVERYTHING POSSIBLE! For 15 years, Diane's mom was saying good-bye to EVERYTHING. Somewhere in the middle of it, Diane, at age 50, adopted a baby girl, Dexter, then a few years later, her son, Duke, came along. When Diane's mother, Dorothy Keaton, died, Diane promised to carry her mom's legacy and THINK. Dorothy continues to be Diane's biggest influence.

Dorothy had Diane when she was 24-yrs-old. At the time, Dorothy's words were influenced by the few movies her mother allowed her to see, like 1938's Broadway Melody. Dorothy believed her daughter was extraordinary. Diane had to be. Dorothy would write sweet letters to her husband, Jack, who was stationed in Boston in the Navy. She would tell about Diane and how happy they were for her and each other - expressing her love for both of them (her husband & new daughter).

There are certain things that stand out for Diane, like their next door neighbor catching Diane singing 'Over The Rainbow' and thinking she was a talented young lady. Diane loved the hustling & bustling of downtown Los Angeles. But nothing compared to Diane tugging her mom to look. Diane's father, Roy Keaton, nicknamed his daughter, Diane, "Perkins" at a very young age. They moved ALOT and always had cats. Even though Diane had 3 sisters, she also seen herself as their dad's favorite. Being the first born, Diane had their parents attention.

Diane as a teen

When Diane's sister, Robin, came along, Diane felt envy. "But I'm the only girl". She felt that Robin was sure to become their dad's favorite. Diane's sister following Robin was Dorrie, who was found to be the intellectual w/ straight A's. When Diane was 6-yrs-old, television gave her a gift. Gale Storm from 'My Little Margie' was who Diane wanted to be. 15-yrs-later, Diane was given the opportunity to meet her idol b/c her son was one of Diane's classmates. When Diane the REAL person behind Gale Storm, her next idol was Gregory Peck as Atticus Finch from the CLASSIC 'To Kill A Mockingbird'.

Even before becoming a teen, Diane couldn't understand why all of the good looks went to her sisters. When Diane was 15, to express her fashion freedom, her & her mom would go to Goodwill & thrift shops, cut up clothes and re-patch them to create The Look. Diane was browsing around at another different thrift shop and found an old man's bowlers hat. She put it on her head - and that was it!

There was ALOT of "hush hush" about the whereabouts of Diane's grandfather, Jack, her dad's dad after he disappeared in the 1920s. It wasn't until shifting through old newspapers that Diane found out what happened to her paternal grandfather. He had left his wife, Diane's grandmother, 9 yrs prior in Omaha, NE. She never heard from him and believed he was dead.

When Diane was beginning to enter adolescence, Jack told her as a father of someday a boy would love her for all of who she is. Diane didn't want a boy loving her. She thought it would be better if ALOT if people loved her other than some boy. It was during a Santa Ana High School production that Diane's finale was a showstopper. Afterwards in the dressing room, Diane's parents found her and their faces were beaming. Her dad was crying w/ excitement & surprise. For one minute, Diane was multiple characters rolled into one. She was her dad's heroine. There was no going back from that moment.

While going to New York, Diane was studying at the Neighborhood Playhouse. Diane learned how to MASTER the emotions she would need on-screen/on-stage. It was about producing real emotional reaction. It taught Diane ALOT guiding her on the tools she would need. When Diane would write back home, she shared that one of the women she roomed w/ was another young woman, already a dancer, named Sandy Duncan. Diane would ask for family updates when contacting her family back home and she would send them hers. After 2 yrs at the Playhouse, when Diane got her Actor's Equity Card, it was the end of Diane Hall. She played w/ different names, then she realized she could keep all of the family names. Keaton. Diane Keaton.

In 1968, Dorothy wrote in her journals dated New Year's Eve,  updating her children's lives. Diane was rehearsing for a Woody Allen play 'Play It Again Sam'. Afterwards Diane went w/ Woody and her parents out after the plays opening. In March 1969, it came out that Diane had been nominated for Best Supporting Actress for the Tony Awards coming in April. By this time, the book 'The Power Of Positive Thinking' by Norma Vincent Pearle was the country's craze. EVERYONE loved it. By 1969, Jack & Dorothy Hall followed that book's guidelines and GREAT things were happening. On 9-5-1969, Diane was a nervous joy and giggly on 'The Merv Griffin Show'. She was herself. Dorothy took pictures and Jack taped the whole thing. Dorothy was trying to have her photographs in museums & magazines at this point.

Diane Keaton, the massive documentary Dorothy, had done on her daughter's career from 1969-1984 was hard to grasp. The documentary, as well as Diane, had mixed reviews. After a 2-pg ad in 'The LA Times' w/ Diane and other LEGENDARY celebs w/ her, she said "stardom wasn't what she thought it would be." Diane's parents averse to discuss their daughter in the press. They felt a burden it seemed. After what Dorothy said in the press of Diane's new fame, it will forever be in the past, in the press recording the journey of a woman soon to be 'Annie Hall'.

Diane in "Hair"

Diane, as a kid, loved sweets. Dorothy rarely bought brand name. Dinner, Diane states was never brand name - always generic. Dessert was 3 oatmeal cookies apiece. Magazines were a fixation for Diane. Beginning w/ McCall's then Life Magazine. When Audrey Hepburn was on the cover of 'Life', it made Diane notice disturbing things about her body at age 11. As she got older, Diane seen clear her appearance was a work in progress. After graduating from 'Playhouse', Diane was cast in 'Hair'. Her big break came when someone else left to do an episode of a series. Diane filled in. After the first week, if she lost weight, Diane could have the role she filled in for. While getting vitamin shots and losing 10LBS, Diane got the role of Sheila in 'Good Morning Starshine'.

After overhearing a cast member talk about it, Diane tried the eat/purge. After 6 months, she became hypoglycemic with health problems. Trips to the doctor and the dentist. Diane didn't acknowledge the shame in any of this. She had work to do.

Diane and Woody Allen

Diane met Woody Allen in the fall of 1968 while auditioning for 'Play It Again Sam'.  Diane was in love w/ him before she knew him. He was Woody Allen. They became friends during the play. It was Woody's behavior that was interesting to her. Woody began to see her as more than a gal pal. Their relationship wasn't on/off, it wasn't steady either. She moved in w/ him, but also kept her own studio apartment.

Woody didn't have a clue what Diane was up to w/ her bulimia. A year after 'Play It Again Sam' ended and no work, Diane couldn't get a job except for a deodorant ad. She hit bottom. Diane's bingeing  was off the charts. She was 25. After a year of purging, jobless and talking w/ her back to a sofa, six months later Diane stopped w/ the purging. It was talking it out that did it. That gave her a way out. Why bother telling any of this MANY years later? To be released of the burden of hiding.

After conquering bulimia, Diane got back into her passion - acting. She studied w/ those who helped her rediscover the world of expressed feelings. Diane had taken a class in drawing & silk screening. She learned to print photographs. She was still longing for a mother's guidance. She found a substitute in her doctor. She wasn't the listener Dorothy was, but they hung out and that made all the difference. Diane's doctor's goal was to help her deal w/ GRANDIOSE expectations.

Diane & Al Pacino

When Diane moved to an apartment, it helped her deny any guilt over leaving her mom & being far from her. It was a renewed refreshment. In 1971, Diane was cast in a series 'The F.B.I.' and in 'Mannix' as a guest star. That was her BIG Break. Diane tells stories from behind 'The Godfather' and Al Pacino. She describes her love and relationship w/ Woody Allen. Diane states the differences between herself and her mom, Dorothy:

. Dorothy made her choice early - she married
. Diane made her choice late - she adopted
. Dorothy was laid to rest at 54
. Diane is not lonely and is still going
. Dorothy was quietly penciled in her 50s
. 11 yrs older Diane is still running around crazy like a cut-off chicken - loving life w/ her 2 kids Dexter & Duke who have changed her life.

According to Diane, filming 'Annie Hall' was effortless. They were just having a great time moving through New York's landmark locations. Diane took Woody's direction and wore what she wanted to wear during the filming which was khaki pants, vest & tie. She stole a hat to go. It finished the touch of the 'Annie Hall' look. The street-chic woman living up So-Ho in the '70s were the REAL costume designers of 'Annie Hall' + Woody Allen's part. The Hall family depicted in the film 'Annie Hall' was a love story, tender, funny & sad. Just like Diane Hall's REAL family. Woody's version of Diane's family in the film was comic relief. Even though though their relationship ended 2 years prior to 'Annie Hall', Diane was still Woody's sidekick.

Diane & Warren Beatty

Diane met w/ Warren Beatty for his movie 'Heaven Can Wait', but turned him down to do 'Looking For Mr. GoodBar'. She fell madly for him in 1972. She had loved him way back since 'Splendor In The Grass'. Two different worlds - The Prince Of Hollywood and as her dad would say Di-annie O-Hall-ie. Diane, from her point, w/ Warren, it was REAL or was she one of many women b/c of his problem w/ commitment?

In February 1978, it was news that Diane had been nominated for an Academy Award For Best Actress in Annie Hall. That same year Diane's date, Warren's sister, Shirley MacLaine, was nominated for the same award. What Diane remembers MOST about that night was meeting both Audrey Hepburn & Richard Burton. Even though she admits to fastly leaving her company that night, Diane also admits regrets for not staying and conversing w/ Audrey.

Even TODAY, many years later, Diane misses Woody Allen. He may feel different. But she'll always love him. Annie Hall changed her life. She was trying to avoid the attention post Awards and Woody's first drama w/ Maureen Stapleton fit that potion.The movie & rate weren't right. A total miscast.

Dorothy didn't finish her own memoir "Memories". It was like God's Will had taken over her future. After 10 yrs in New York, Diane was given a little show of photos she had taken in hotel lobbies around the U.S. A few years later, Diane, along w/ Marvin Heiferman, collaborated on a book of publicity shots from old movies. After her book, Still Life, was published, Diane received a letter from one of her idols & features in the book, LEGENDARY Gregory Peck, who was one of Diane's long list of regrets she wished forgiveness for.

Diane & Al Pacino

Diane goes into her year long struggle to make her documentary, 'Heaven'. Because as a little girl, even though she knew she wanted to go there. Even though critics hated it, Diane LOVED making it. She also got something else out of it: working w/ Al Pacino. It was different. They were older & NOT their previous perspective roles. Her love of Al Pacino was his creativity. He was an artist. She wanted him to want her as she did in return.

In the middle of this came 'Baby Boom'. Diane was J.C. Wyatt. Diane read a letter journaling Dorothy's life at age 63, feeling it mirrored ALOT of what Diane's feelings were as well. At 63, Dorothy was finished raising her kids, Diane is doing NOW what her mom did at 24. Diane delves into cute & funny stories from her kids, Duke & Dexter. Diane takes comfort in the fact that her & Dorothy will be bound by the need to communicate. She tells stories from behind 'The Godfather III' Around this time, Diane & Dorothy had their own personal trauma. Jack was 68 and sick w/ a brain tumor. Diane was there w/ her dad's medical care. To watch her dad in these conditions was unbearable.

It was in the afternoon when Jack dispersed six legal pads at the dining room table. The last time the Hall family would be together again. They all went through Jack's financial accomplishments. Filming the final scene to the 'The Godfather III' was easy. Diane's emotions were on edge. It was easy to sob, thinking of her dad. When she wasn't thinking of her dad, Diane was thinking of Al Pacino, whom she was somewhat back with.

Al hated good-byes, Diane states that she was not too plain, she was too much. He had no intention of marrying Diane. She did keep a few things from their relationship. Diane officially lost her dad, Jack, in 1990. When he died, it was a preparation for Al's good-byes. It was predicable, losing her dad was NOT. In a letter to him Diane wrote "she wished she had been a daddy's girl and wished they had been closer and figured out a way to love him w/ a little less effort."

HBO offered Diane the role of Hedda Nussbaum in a movie. She passed on it. No more victims for her. Diane did direct Belinda Carlisle's music video 'Heaven Is A Place On Earth'. After taking a screenwriting class, she met a producer who gave Diane a shot at directing a TV movie, 'Wildflower'. Diane cast Patricia Arquette and Reese Witherspoon. EVERYONE was moving on. Warren married Annette Benning. Diane kept moving.

When Woody (Allen) asked Diane to fill in for Mia Farrow on 'Manhattan Murder Mystery', Diane took the job. The movie was made and wrapped in one day. Personal problems didn't interfere w/ work. After directing the film 'Unstrung Heroes', Diane is more accurately aware of how many impossible it is to direct a good film. Thanks to a flight to L.A. that rattled her nerves, Diane made a life decision to re-invent the future. Considering adoption and adapting to conditions that require care, responsibility & management skills.

Diane details that her daughter, Dexter, was born Thursday, 12-14-95 and two weeks later they both flew to New York to finish filming 'The First Wives Club' w/ Bette Midler & Goldie Hawn. Going through the LOADS of outfits that previous co-stars had given Diane's daughter were Meryl Streep, Steve Martin, Martin Short & his wife all so GENEROUSLY gave. Diane took Dexter to the set everyday. Diane began to worry about her mom, due to Dorothy's failing memory becoming more apparent. The on-set of Alzheimer's as told to Diane in a letter from her mom. Not a moment too soon after this news, Bette & Goldie wrapped the ending to 'The First Wives Club'. The film was an unexpected hit. Diane began to continue her mom's legacy and began writing letters to Dexter. A situation arose when Dorothy, Diane & Dexter were at Dorothy's. Dorothy fell like a clump of solid mass, landing w/ a thud. Dorothy took a dive and was in a perplexed daze. That was the day Diane learned to stop trusting Dorothy's judgment calls. All of them.  That began the stirring choices overseen by a caregiver.

In 2003, Diane had worked in what she called "a string of bombs", 'The Other Sister' and one that she directed 'Hanging Up' (both of which I personally loved.) She also states she was washed up as an actress & as a director. Over salad, Nancy Meyers had told Diane of a romantic comedy she was writing  and the details she had in mind. The romantic comedy was 'Something's Gotta Give'. Jack Nicholson sent Diane a piece of his own percentage, a kiss from him and Nancy's godsend.
                                               
Dorothy's Alzheimer's at this point was getting worse, forgetting who her own daughter was. Diane writes in, not exactly pissiness, but anger about who her mom was, who she is now b/c of what Alzheimer's is responsible for. Diane just wanted Dorothy's brain back. Diane received a call in the car about her mom having bronchitis. She headed to the hospital where Dorothy was. When Diane got there, she found Dorothy plugged into an I.V. She was also revealed to have been victim to a recent, undetected stroke. When Dorothy was released from the hospital, here comes hospice.

Diane w/ her mom, Dorothy

Dorothy did know one thing: it all boils down to family - no matter who it is! After Diane's siblings/family arrived at Dorothy's hospital bed, her breathing was irregular and had to be checked. Looking for a pattern and waiting. Diane's sister, Dorrie, began to cry. Duke came running in and Diane started to hug him. Diane began to wonder if it was the end of her mom?

After everyone ate tacos around the dinner table, they either left for a minute or took a break, leaving Dorothy & Diane alone together for the last time. After 11 days of being driven crazy, Diane put her finger in Dorothy's mouth, hoping she'd bite, just to shake things up. But Dorothy's fight back spirit was gone. Diane & Dorrie pushed her hospital bed in front of a window. Enough with darkness. Dorothy had become a still life. Taking GENUINE CARE of their mother.The only part of Dorothy that showed any life was her clutched hand on the rail of the hospital bed. On 9-18-2008. there was no sign to see it coming. The only thing was the purple in Dorothy's hands fading. She had passed away w/o so much as a sound.

Diane talks about belovedly cherished moments w/ her mom, as well as with Duke & Dexter, wishing she could rewind the clock. In a final letter to her mom, Diane updates the "Where Are They Now?" of her family. Feeling so blessed and cherished to recreate it all w/ not just her words, but Dorothy's as well - Then Again.

Mother & Daughter Dorothy & Diane Keaton (Hall)