Granted, Carson does have another year of high school left, and a senior year at that. Being anxious & eager, Carson wouldn't be surprised if he was the first applicant. He stayed up half the night before to submit his application as soon as admissions opened up at 6A. Wasting time has never been his forte. If his transcripts don't speak for themselves, Carson's high school career should. He has kept his high school GPA at 4.2 since freshman year. He has single handedly edited the Clover High Chronicle since sophomore year. He has managed to keep the school's Writer's Club alive due to high school objections.
Carson's hometown of Clover is a place where the pockets are small, but the minds are even smaller. It's tiny and conservative. You're born here. You live here. You die here. Having aspirations to leave makes Carson the black sheep of the community. The most common gathering spot is a Taco Bell parking lot on a Saturday night. After the first movie theater was built, people lost their minds w/ excitement. Carson is seen as one of the kids on the bottom of the food chain, constantly teased, despised, an annoyance to everyone. The difference w/ Carson is: he DOESN'T GIVE A SHIT! Simply stated: a town that asks: Does anyone ever get out of here? That fuels Carson's desire to get out even more. It ALL began after expressing his life's journey and destination at a young age. THAT was where his issues w/ the town of Clover began. He also expressed the TRUTH in what he learned or studied. Carson knew he was a cynical kid from divorced parents. It wasn't until the age of 10 that Carson seen a friend's parents interact that he seen different.
Carson's mother, Sheryl, was in it for the long haul when she married Neal. Although they had tried, Neal wanted out as soon as he got in. At one point, Sheryl quit her job as a receptionist in a doctor's office due to parenting falling solely on her shoulders alone. Neal tried to avoid as much fatherly parenting as much as possible. Their arguing was a consistent constant in Carson's life. Their Titanic of a family sank deeper and deeper as time passed. Carson was led onto the knowledge of words through their fighting. Words, to Carson, seemed like a powerful force that he could properly use in the world. It became a way to hold onto sanity in a crazy household. Things peaked when Sheryl's mom had come to live w/ them a year later when she was diagnosed w/ Alzheimer's. Carson's grandmother was a savior for him. It was hard to watch her fade away. As a kid, Carson KNEW there was something wrong with her. Neil gave Sheryl an ultimatum: Either Sheryl's mom goes into a home or Neil leaves. She left the next day. After she was moved in, Carson biked his way to see his grandmother every day after school. The move was sad, but Carson's visits gave her something to look forward to! Carson, to this day, has never missed a day.
Despite Sheryl's attempts to make them work, Neil OFFICIALLY left the family when Carson was 10. The ENTIRE neighborhood remembers that night. It has been Sheryl & Carson ever since. Life without Neil was quiet. The house was pleasantly peaceful. Sheryl never recovered from Neil's departure. She never went back to work. She decided to live off an inheritance left by her dad. She never dated or remarried. Instead of a man, Sheryl replaced it w/ wine. Spending her life laying on the couch watching Daytime TV! Becoming known around town as a woman who shops in her bathrobe & sunglasses. Carson has only seen his dad twice since he left. He has spent ALOT of his time being pissed at his parents over the years. But, he KEEPS IN MIND that THROUGH IT ALL, others have it worse! But, Carson is moving forward, looking to the future! He has never been so excited!
Aside from trying to achieve a better future for himself, Carson also looks out/after his mom. Sheryl makes every morning look like an after party hosted by a rock band. Over the last years, Sheryl has formed this sick relationship w/ her doctor. She literally makes up illnesses so she can visit him to get "something". When Carson's grandfather passed away, he left his grandson his 1973 Corvair Convertible w/ its own set of problems that prevent it from working properly. It works . . . .but it takes a minute. Clover is a small town w/ a 5 minute walk to anywhere. An hour to walk from one end of town to the other. Carson sees things differently than the "average" teenager. He sees them w/ more of an adult eye. Teenage bullshit is just that. Walking through the hallway is like trying to make your way through a herd of cattle. Carson is a great student. If he has subject trouble, he asks for help. If it constitutes staying after, he does! Carson sees the world for what is and what is lacking within the school system that, while their student's graduate, they aren't taught to function properly and taught what they need to learn. Being forced to be taught accessories that you won't use rather than the necessities that they will.
After minding his own business, Carson is sought by the flaky/"pat-on-the-head", guidance counselor, Ms. Sharpton, to attend Career Day in her office. Carson knew & seen it was B.S. after suggesting Carson's future, he directed her of what it was going to be! His TRUE life's aspirations. Carson KNEW his future without commentary. He informed her of what they were. It was like Carson went to school w/ ABSOLUTE dumbasses - staff included. (Both Carson & myself, Jeremy Carroll, are allergic to stupidity.) After he reiterated his accomplishments and steps to achieve his goal, he thought she would be of help. She wasn't! Carson didn't just want to get into Northwestern, it was a MUST! He would do ANYTHING to get into that school. She "tried" to get Carson to fill out alternate school forms for an already determined kid. Her stupidity was beginning to leak into the room and Carson HAD to leave. Carson's last class of the day is one that IS prepping him for life: Journalism class. Carson loves the class, but hates the people in it. This class is in charge of putting together the weekly school paper. When Carson was a freshman, the students in the Journalism class were considered gods. Students used to beg them to write or not write about their school activities. Carson was slipped $50.00 once by a cheerleader to leave out the fact that she forgot to wear undergarments during a game.
After graduation, the only one left in class was Carson. It was as if the class dwindled down to ABSOLUTE NOTHING & NOBODY, except for Carson. He took charge of it as a whole. Carson tried to recruit new members but no one wanted to join. He seemed to be the ONLY one interested. The school ended up sticking people in the class that didn't have enough credits to graduate. School hotshots were replaced. The Clove High Chronicle is made up of an assistant editor, a movie reviewer, a weather reporter & a foreign exchange student. The first issue was disappointing w/ very little/half-assed participation that Carson had to do and make up for. One student, Malorie, who was in charge of creative writing, only mocked and tried to pass off the opening line to The Grapes Of Wrath as her own. Carson cut her off to see if she had written anything originally hers. Malorie is one you could say struggles w/ concentration and more. "Not all there!" She is one who is KNOWN for carrying around and using a videocamera in school. She films EVERYTHING. Carson's FAVORITE segment is his own because it discusses an ACTUAL issue. Meeting was adjourned after the bell rang. Since he seems to be the only one ACTUALLY interested and sees a future rather than a hangout, Carson appointed himself from editor to President. This Writer's Club is something Carson TRULY values and takes PRIDE in. He would replace defamed posters of the club alerts things w/ NEW ones. The graffiti is even an eyesore w/ NO CORRECT spelling. Just for something to do in town, the kids join after school clubs just for an activity! A different set of clubs suited for EVERYTHING! In the 3 years of the Writer's Club, the only members were Carson & Malorie, who only joined after getting kicked out of another club. After she said she ACTUALLY had a story she wrote for the paper, Carson was excited, until it was the opening to the CLASSIC book, Moby Dick. NOTHING original.
When it came to ideas for a theme for Sadie Hawkins, Carson came up w/ a Famous Television Couples theme. Everyone hunched on it and liked it. But, it was ALL taken out of context when suggestions came in of "REALITY" TV star couples rather than TRUE, ICONIC matches. Completely missing the point. Carson quickly regrets mentioning the idea. He kicks himself for ever mentioning ANYTHING! After it was over, Carson spent ALOT more time w/ his grandmother than he normally would. But this visit, she stated something that stuck w/ him. It began like any other visit until she came in and claimed she made FRESH from the oven cookies when it was a plate of Oreo's. Carson brought her the latest of his school newspaper. She keeps asking about her grandson, whom she doesn't recognize. It became a repetitive cycle of conversation. Carson didn't want to leave her. It was a rarity to see his GRANDMOTHER when she was ALERT! He wanted to soak it in for all it's worth. After she fell asleep, Carson knew it was time to go. On the way home, Carson thought about what she said pertaining to his happiness. When he got home, it was around 9:45P. Sheryl had fresh Rx bottles on the kitchen counter. She was on the back patio drunk as a skunk. Carson had to listen to her MUMBLING state talking non-sense.
After he had to wait 20 minutes to go after school, Carson headed and began to enter the restroom when he heard and seen giggling and moaning. In the stall next to him were Nicholas Forbes & Scott Thomas. After they came out of the stall and were confronted by Carson, he was amused to have the upper hand for once. Nicholas was almost pale and see through. Scott was annoyed due to being interrupted. They wondered what Carson was going to do about what he seen/knows. One dared Carson to tell while the other begged for his silence. Carson promised his secrecy. Using the barter system, if one wrote and added a finance section and a weekly update from the Performing Arts Dept. At first they thought Carson was kidding - he wasn't. It was to be until they all graduated and went their separate ways. Either write for Carson's paper or expose a secret. They wrote for the paper as of next week. Carson states for the record, he isn't blackmailing, he is an equal opportunity extortionist. NO MATTER who you are. I treat you the way you treat me!
Due to OVEREXPOSURE & CONSTANT underlining of sex in TODAY's society, Carson COMPLETELY stopped watching television & movies altogether. A film about finding yourself, self worth or a lifelong goal, Carson is ALL EARS for! The OVEREXPOSURE gets tired and boring. What Carson finds sexy in a girl among ALL things: intelligence. Something about being w/ someone who is mentally conscious. Veering off track, Carson had to get back to work. As he was on his way to English, he had a note on a Post-It to see the guidance counselor when he could. Naturally, he ran straight there to her office without informing his English teacher. After bursting into her office, Carson was anxious for a word back from Northwestern. Carson unintentionally scared her when he arrived. She was having lunch and consuming a sandwich. She piddled around an ALREADY anxious kid wanting her to get to the point!
Carson found out that the work w/ the newspapers and everything else wasn't cutting it anymore. If he wanted to make an impression, Carson HAD to think higher. He could submit a novel or a book of poems. Carson suggested a literary magazine. A magazine filled w/ his work and the work of other students. Something that leaves an impression while inspiring others. Carson immediately set sail on a new route. Putting a plan into motion starting w/ permission from the principal. After catching him before leaving for the day, the principal okay'd it, as long as Carson didn't ask for funding from the school. It was broke! Carson also asked for time the following day during an assembly. The principal okay'd it just to see how it fared. Carson was beyond excited. After he informed the journalism team, it was deafening silence. Carson was drowning in denial and KNEW it was going to be difficult. Just how do you go about it? On the drive home, Carson thought to ask his mom for the money to start the magazine. He was going to be straight up honest & ask. When he got home, it was different. The house, along w/ Sheryl, were up and cleaned. Carson was wondering what the deal was? His dad was coming over and Sheryl prettied herself up. She forgot to sign and return the half-completed divorce papers. Neil was bringing new ones to be signed. Carson could not believe the state and manner his mom was in. She was clearly in a mood. He figured to ask for the money after dinner which proved to be EXTREMELY awkward.
The dinner itself PROVED to be an AWKWARD situation. It started out when Sheryl randomly suggested that Carson be on antidepressants. He thought that Sheryl was medicated enough for the both of them. He then validated his point by stating a FACT: People turn to pills before they turn to their problems. We are living in a medicated society. Sheryl then informs her son of his own pill taking when he was a child. We found it easier to roofie you than to answer you. Shattering Carson's remembrance of his childhood. After finding that out, Carson asked for the money. Sheryl was hesitant at first. He had to negotiate a give-and-take w/ her. He had to make a deal. If he fulfilled her proposition for him to take antidepressants, she would give him the money to start his literary magazine. He SAID he would, didn't mean he ACTUALLY would. The following day, Carson announced the release of the PREMIERE issue of the literary magazine at an appropriately titled ASSembly. Waiting for his turn, Carson stared spacely at the ceiling while the meaningless school news was being announced.
After all of the mundane bullshit was announced, it was FINALLY Carson's turn. He had one shot to inspire the students of the school to submit to the magazine. One shot to do it right to cement his future. It was an awkward experience to do. Carson was completely desolate afterward. After he went to collect a submissions box that was FULL that was to be filled of stories/poems of other students, it wasn't. FULL of trash and bullshit of other students that were careless. But no literary submissions. Carson felt a surge of defeat run through his body. The big bright Northwestern sign in his head toward his future was dimming. Malorie tried to re-assure Carson of his accomplishments of what he's done already. He informed her of the truth. He is using blackmail to assure his future. Since he was down, Malorie tried to brighten his mood by showing him her video footage from her camera. Malorie came up w/ the idea in just - talking. EVERYONE has something to hide. Mentally, that put Carson on a mission to find out EXACTLY what that is. In turn using it as blackmail to help w/ the magazine. Before that, there was one final attempt to use a float created by Carson & Malorie to be used in a public forum to inspire others to join the Writer's Club. Blackmail was to be used as a LAST RESORT!
What came next were the usual sneers, jeers and, laughter from EVERYONE present. After that humiliating moment was over, Carson ripped off his pencil costume, got in his car and STORMED out of the student parking lot, not even using his blinker. He was going about 60-70 miles/hr, but he felt like it was 100. He went home, went to his bedroom and collapsed on the bed. He was over-thinking the nights events and everyone else's comments. Carson had done EVERYTHING he possibly could. Except for one thing. If he can get Nicholas Forbes and Scott Thomas to join The Chronicle, ANYTHING is POSSIBLE! Everyone has something to hide. Before even completing his thought process, he called Malorie and Operation Clovergate was in effect. NO MORE MR. NICE GUY to be walked on!
Carson sat down in front of Vicky. After noticing his presence in the room, he informed her of what he could accomplish w/ Google. The inappropriate photos of her. She tried to play "I don't care". Carson blackmailed her by e-mailing these provocative photos to her mother who teaches Sunday school and is very church oriented. She was bright red and flustered. He gave her the Writer's Club flyer. Carson got Vicki on-board and things were going according to plan. Clovergate Day Two was better than Day One. The success of the mission gave Carson chills. Spending a whole school day accomplishing this w/ a CONCRETE alibi for his absence from class. Claire Matthews and Coach Colin were the ONLY victims left.
Carson tried to get a moment alone w/ Claire Matthews. It was hard due to the H.C.I.C. (Head Cheerleader In Charge) to be alone without her background group. He just decided to write her a little note at the bottom of her little flyer, something she wouldn't let others see! He found her after school practicing a cheer-amid in the quad. After subtly handing her the flyer, he couldn't resist authenticating a cheer. Two, four, six, eight . . . . heard you like to fornicate. The Queen Head Bitch In Charge was NOW Carson's bitch. He KNEW he had GOTTEN her! It was almost over. All he had to do now was enlist his demands from them. At least he now had their ATTENTION!
Carson has had ALOT of morality issues since he began this whole blackmailing scheme. Even Carson Phillips has a conscience. He may feel bad for doing it, but then there's the REALITY of it. You can only do something to someone for so long until they do it back. Carson feels he's cemented his fate of/for revenge or WORSE! Wherever he goes, Carson hopes to write for them. After the success of passing out flyers, Carson went to the teacher's lounge to make copies of a poster he made advertising the publication of the literary magazine. Although a sign was posted: NO STUDENT USE ALLOWED! It was intended for Carson, no one either noticed or gave a shit. He ripped off the notice and made his copies ANYWAY! While waiting for the copies to print, Carson heard a commotion from the supply room around the corner. After peeking in the window and in-between the shelves, there were student-teacher relations between Emilio w/ Ms. Hastings, the receptionist. He seen it become a STEAMY situation QUICK! After leaving and getting caught by Carson afterward AND being BUSTED for feigning an accent, Carson caught his attention. He immediately texted Malorie because he could use some help with this one. 10 minutes later, it was 2-against-1. Malorie had her camcorder aimed at him. He tried to use/pass his "accent" off as REAL, but Malorie KNEW he was BUSTED and she said so! He was from San Diego, NOT El Salvador. After he confessed the truth, even though he spoke NO Spanish and ONLY spoke the same 10 phrases since he arrived in town as an "exchange student", Carson and Malorie used it against him. Carson gave him his LAST yellow flyer. Now, they KNEW they HAD Emilio to contribute to the magazine.
The day the meeting began:Day 5, it was make or break IT time. Carson was afraid things wouldn't fall into plan. He had his work cut out for him. He HAD to persuade EVERYONE he had influence over while also convincing them he was heartless enough to expose them. ALL DAY at school, Carson felt nervously sick and his eyes were glued to the clock. After school was out, it was time to get to work. He had Malorie come for support, who seemed more nervous. After an hour later, NOT ONE blackmailed student came. A few minutes more, they were ALL trodden in. Vicki & Dwayne were FIRST w/ others to follow. After Coach Colin arrived, he was the ONLY one to notice the Clovergate board. "Emilio" was last to arrive. Then Carson laid it STRAIGHT on what happens now. Of course, came the objections. Carson opted for all of them to expose their private dirt w/ NO takers. After that, Carson cut to the chase of his mission and demands. Next came the whining. It was ALL OUT IN THE OPEN! As well as a submission from them, Carson wanted one from every football player and cheerleader. The objections grew louder. Just then, Carson's BIGGEST fear came when they realized he was outnumbered. After a few of them began to leave, Carson SNAPPED! He was TAKING CHARGE as boss/leader. His tone began to SCARE them. YELLING with EVERY OUNCE he had. If the student body wasn't going to believe him with the TRUTH of what he KNEW, Carson would MAKE THEM believe him. He had NOTHING to lose and a WHOLE HELL of ALOT to gain. All of the color drained from their faces.
Continuing his rant, Carson threw papers at them of what he EXPECTED from them as examples. Poetry, short stories, essays, scripts, novels, anything. After venting his FRUSTRATION, he kicked them out of the classroom. Carson, along w/ Malorie, COULD NOT believe what he just did. He even SCARED Malorie. When Carson returned to the Clovergate board, he ripped off all of the defaced pictures and was now accepting submissions for the magazine.
Claire & Colin got the messages out to their individual teams. They took to rushing their submissions just to get it done & over with. Carson didn't care if they were rushed, it still sent the same "inspiring" message to Northwestern. It was exactly what he needed. After school, he couldn't wait to tell his grandmother about it. When he arrived, Carson found out QUICK that his grandmother was in BAD shape that day. A day where she wasn't there, but her dementia WAS! Carson was kicked out of her room because she sadly DID NOT recognize her own grandson. Up until that point, Carson was on Cloud Nine! Nothing could've ruined his day. When he got home, he informed Sheryl of his day and what went on! The blackmail and his grandmother. Sheryl found out of what his plans were for Northwestern. Times change and Sheryl forgets how old her son ACTUALLY is.
ONLY Sheryl can frustrate Carson to NO END and make him feel sorry for her at the same time. When he found out Sheryl got the mail, he immediately went to it. He had nervous butterflies, but there was NOTHING for him. Carson spent the afternoon wondering if he should make a "miscellaneous" section in the literary magazine. While he is glad to be getting more submissions daily, some of their entries were NUTS! (Ex. - a dumbass teenage girl's entry STATES her obsession over a boy! 100% Daddy Issues. Whatever happened to a teenage girl having INDEPENDENCE in TODAY's society?) Sometimes for others to GET the POINT, you have to be ruthless, but it doesn't help when you're a prick naturally. Instead of being mean to get the point across, Carson gave one of the students WISE, SAGE advice: Create your name before the world does it for you.
Some of these submissions were outlandishly NUTS! But, w/ a short time frame, he couldn't afford to be picky. He had to put EVERYTHING together and send it off w/ a NEW application to Northwestern. Remy dropped off her submission later that day. Carson is trying to be as cordial as possible to the people he's victimized. It was a submission she ACTUALLY put work into. Carson & Remy were/are somewhat similar: They were both trying to achieve greatness. The difference was that Carson seen that the BEST was yet to come. With Remy, it was like this was the BEST she'll ever get! It made Carson wonder: How he will be remembered? What will the student body remember from their high school years? During a student council meeting, whatever topic came up, Carson had suggestions along w/ others. In a bitchy way, they took Carson's tips AUTOMATICALLY. Then it came out they were being pissy due to the blackmail and writing submissions. If we don't take/do Carson's idea's, we may have to write more in a "smile, nod and, agree tone".
After Carson was sitting at his computer in the journalism class, Dwayne came in OBVIOUSLY marijuana-infested. He handed in his essay that smelled of the product. he then rants on to Carson for "turning him around to see things." His statement was that "It was nice to write in school. How often do we get a chance to?" For every diluted comment coming from this kid, Carson had a smartass comment w/ some TRUTH behind it you knew he wouldn't get/see. After it was all said/done, the room smelled like Cheech & Chong. Carson HAD to get out of there. He was starving for an ice cream sandwich when he left. Just the aroma fed into him.
Carson had been TRYING to work w/ Malorie lately. She REALLY wants to contribute a publication to the magazine, but she's having trouble turning in an AUTHENTICALLY written piece by her! So after school, they go over her options in journalism class. Malorie wrote her story to add, turns out it was from the CLASSIC children's book: Charlie & The Chocolate Factory. After being caught w/ that one, Malorie said she had another. It was the opening to Harry Potter. After they talked, Carson advised her on something that would help her come up w/ something ORIGINAL! If she listens to the advice given, Carson can help get it published. She jumped w/ excitement and headed home to get started! On the way to his car, Carson ran into Vicki and asked if she had a submission? Without meaning to, Carson seen that she cuts herself after seeing her make an impolite gesture in his direction. She immediately became self-conscious and covered herself up. Carson wanted to step up and help her, but didn't know how. But he tried w/ retaliation.
Carson had less than a week to get the magazine done & sent. He had been hauling ass to get ALL of the shit DONE! He had COMPLETELY forgotten it was Halloween until Nicholas & Scott came in to deliver their submissions. They were dressed as a '60s version of Batman & Robin. When handing in his submissions, Nicholas told Carson he had NO IDEA what Carson put him through this past week. He was so worked up about it. Now, all of the GUILT Carson has felt this ENTIRE time swept over him. Carson MEANINGFULLY apologized. While he may have his life together, Carson sees & couldn't imagine being in their shoes to keep something so quiet. EVERYTHING he put them through, Carson was REMORSEFULLY SORRY and gave them SUCH gratitude. He reiterated his promise to his secrecy. Nicholas & Scott conveyed to Carson what life is/would be like for them if they were out. Since he's straight, Carson Phillips wouldn't wish their shoes on anyone. It's HORRIBLE when you CAN'T be FREE to be who you are. After giving them some words of encouragement to think about, Carson seen it was almost 6:00P. It was time to go.
When Carson went to see his grandmother, they were all dressed up, which confused his grandmother. Without seeing it, she gave him a pure definition of her hatred for Halloween that Carson seen differently: "I don't like it when people wear masks." That was high school in a nutshell.
Carson was on HIGH-ALERT when it came time for mail arrival. He DID NOT want to MISS A MINUTE of an acceptance letter on the off-chance he was already accepted. He searched the mail trying to find a "diamond-in-the-rough". Every day a letter doesn't arrive, Carson feels it's more work to make the magazine shine. Thankfully, it's all coming together. Emilio (or whomever he is) slipped his submission under the Journalism door. Just a copied page from a word translator. Carson sees it that beggars can't be choosy, just take what you can get. On some level, at least it gives the magazine variety. As expected, Claire was the last person to submit something. Carson KNEW and expected what would happen. Claire snooped around to find out who already had submissions before turning in hers. After another
submission from another student, Carson made a small quip. Claire spoke to it that she thought Carson came off superior while others don't have a life plan. This was the best they'll get in life so they wanted to enjoy life before it all went to Hell.
Carson asked and wondered why? Why did Claire see that high school was the BEST part of life and not farther into a future? She didn't have an answer. He remembered her as a little girl w/ ambitious dreams and aspirations. What happened to her? Ridicule from her peers. Carson seen it otherwise different. Why can't she accomplish a dream? Laughing at a person's dream is one of the CRUELEST things you can do. Claire was silent. EVERYONE has to be something. Someone HAS to be a Nobel Peace Prize Winner. Someone HAS to be a ballerina. Why not us? Claire couldn't face it and stormed out. Carson let her go. Hard work pays off in life's rewards. Once he gets Claire's submission done & typed, Carson's literary magazine will be OFFICIALLY COMPLETE!
When Carson started this journey to get this project done, he didn't know he would be immersed in drama/problems. He would have had stronger reservations. He was on a mission. He didn't know he would be a therapist to them. Carson began to see them ALL w/ a different light.
Carson continues to help Malorie with this whole "satire" thing. He was completely flabbergasted when he received an odd ringing on his phone. (Well, it has only rung twice since Carson got his cellphone.) The even more odd was who was calling. He took a mental step-back. It was his Dad. Carson answered tentatively. It was weird to hear his voice. Carson felt like the experience was as if he heard from a deceased family member communicating to him. He was informing Carson of the news that he was having another baby and the mother wanted to meet him/Carson. Making plans for him to join Neil and his date for dinner. He obviously had to think about it. Neil understood. Carson felt like he was in a fluster-cluck. What the hell just happened? as he hung up the phone. He relayed the news to Malorie while trying to mentally compute it himself. He didn't even know if he was even going to go. Even though Malorie offered her congratulations, Carson briefly told her a short backstory that said it all. Malorie unintentionally one-upped Carson on the deadbeat-dad situation. Now, Carson feels he HAS to go to dinner. How is Carson going to tell Sheryl?
Carson returns from dinner shortly before 12:00A. It was one of the most uncomfortable & awkward dinners to date. He rehearsed for an hour what/how he was going to break the news to Sheryl. Carson figured he was going to sneak out while she was watching The Dr. Phil Show. She wasn't. She was ALERT at 7:30P, watching a story of domestic violence on Lifetime. She was NOT in a GOOD state of mind to hear about this. She asked of his whereabouts. Carson told her the truth. It took Sheryl a few minutes to process the information. After he relayed the rest of the nights proceedings, she just told him to be home at a decent hour. Carson didn't want to leave her, but he was also glad to not be there for the night. He didn't want to witness how Sheryl was to handle it. It wouldn't've been pretty. Carson hated the night before it began. The location was in a nice part of town. Carson had NO IDEA what to expect.
The Clover High Literary Magazine is OFFICIALLY DONE! While it may be done, Carson won't feel it's complete until he has his acceptance letter. Copies were printed first thing on a Monday. He printed a copy at home to be sent to the Northwestern offices w/ a BRAND NEW application. There was a successful window in which to be sent & received. Carson felt like he sent ALL of his hopes and dreams into an envelope off to the admissions office. He made a copy of his work to keep and entered it all in this journal to remember the day he completed the impossible: November 3RD. Carson TELLS THE TRUTH exposing the wrongdoings in his editorials without naming names. Some staff members actions were exposed. The blackmailed students wrote a FICTIONALIZED portion of what TRULY happened in their OWN lives. Popularity comes at a PRICE. While someone sits on a pedestal, there is a HIGHER position to fall.
A few told of what the future holds for them. Some seen the now. Some seen LIFE starting in the FUTURE w/ a name in lights. Of course, came the stories that SPOKE w/ a personality of who wrote what other than just a name on a page. It CALLS of them. After the student body, Carson included, waited in the auditorium for NO REASON for an hour and the weekend of his parents, he was already in a mood. It was for a BULLSHIT meeting done out of vengeance w/ NO MEANING. A new school rule slated to begin the next semester said simply that NO individuality be shown. Other student council members did a pretty good job of hiding their frustrations, even though they were visibly upset. After no one said anything, Carson proceeded to flip out. How are students supposed to learn & grow with NO free will of self-expression? He wasn't afraid to speak and say what others were thinking, but not saying. He was calling out what NEEDED to be said, including those on a power trip. How do their decisions HELP aside from helping their own agendas? Others encouraged Carson to stop. They were ALL RED FACED embarrassed because they KNEW Carson was right. In retaliation for Carson speaking up, they decided to revoke ALL off-campus student privileges for the rest of the school year. Stating they had Carson to thank for it. Another incident of using Carson as a pawn to show off their authority.
The student council was HURT by Carson's actions. Remy was close to tears. ALL Carson was trying to do was speak-up for those who weren't. Claire was on immediate mode for damage control. Claire came down on Carson. He couldn't believe it. He was being hated for standing up for them. He then let them in on REAL WORLD LIFE REALITY!! High school ends. When it all does, hopefully, they all weren't the walking cliches everyone pegged them to be! If they were, life will walk ALL OVER them and bite them ALL in the ass. Carson then grabbed his things ans stormed out of there as fast as he could. He was sick to his stomach. From this team, his parents, the ENTIRE town, Carson was FED UP! He went to his grandmother's and had a bit of a breakdown.
Carson's grandmother may not have had much interest. He didn't care. He just NEEDED to vent to SOMEONE. You can only hold something in for SO LONG, before you EVENTUALLY let it out. Even w/ Alzheimer's she always had a way of making Carson feel better. Helping her teary-eyed grandson and not even knowing it.
The magazine has only been on sale a month and sold only one copy. Just for it to be bought and shredded in front of him. The entire town has been giving Carson dirty looks somewhat hateful. Carson hasn't heard a thing back from Northwestern which is making him NERVOUS. In 48 hours, Carson would know if he was accepted early. At least, he has that to look forward to! He hasn't really bothered doing anything w/ The Chronicle. He has just reprinted old issues from September. He just hasn't been in the mood to write. NOTHING is reported for months. There was never an early acceptance letter, but no rejection early. Hopefully the literary magazine did the trick.
Carson was in English when he was called into the guidance counselor's office for more news. It couldn't have been good news for someone ALREADY nervous. He couldn't even sit down. The news was that Northwestern wouldn't let him re-submit an application w/ his literary magazine due to a confirmation deadline. He wasn't accepted due to missing the confirmation deadline, but he would've been accepted otherwise! Carson swore it HAD to be a mailing mistake. There was NOTHING that could be done. He was so set on going to Northwestern. Carson didn't have a second choice. He never planned to fail. Carson felt he was mourning his future. The next option was Clover Community College.
Community College felt like salt added to the wound. Carson couldn't see past it. All he seen was being STUCK in Clover. The guidance counselor offered other sources. What she was saying failed, as Carson couldn't hear or face it. He was distracted by a postcard of the ocean on her desk. It was so peaceful. He began to think of what he would NEVER see of the world. After he got up and left her office, he just walked around campus for HOURS thinking! Northwestern had ALWAYS been THE PLAN. There was NEVER a second. The way it happened w/ being accepted then denied was the worst part. What was Carson going to do w/ his life now? After feeling his cellphone buzz in his pocket, Carson had several voice mails from Sheryl. His grandmother had fallen. Sheryl didn't know how to handle it on her own. Carson thinks that MAYBE that was his life's destiny. The whole purpose of his existence was to take care of his mom and grandmother.
Carson got there as quick as he could. His grandmother was asleep w/ a badly bruised forearm. Sheryl anxiously awaited her son's arrival. His grandmother woke up slowly a minute or 2 later. For a split second, you could swear she recognized her grandson. After she was distracted by her injuries, the connection was lost. After asking what happened and Carson informed her, he was certain she KNEW who he was. It was the closest she's been to being lucid in years. When nursing care came in, Carson went outside and met w/ his mom. She was a bit overwhelmed by the experience. Carson wouldn't see the overwhelming part. Either it was that her mom fell or that Sheryl dressed and left the house. Sheryl couldn't see something was wrong w/ Carson. He was hesitant to tell her at first about his day. He was still hoping this was a mistake.
Even though Sheryl tries to apologize, Carson can't stand to see/hear her. He then went to the guidance counselor's office and filled out a community college application. Ironically, they have had cloudy bad weather all week. Although he's been depressed, he did develop a new perspective on things.
It has been kind of cloudy outdoors all week, somewhat similar to Carson's state-of-mind. With life kicking at/on him, Carson has every right to be depressed and miserable. A new perspective came after Malorie and Carson packed up the rest of the unsold issues and copies of the magazine. They were going to be packed and sent to Carson's grandmother's elderly home. At least, something will be done with them. Carson told Malorie that he would hopefully get to see her next year around Clover Community College campus. Maybe they could be adventurous and start a literary magazine there. Malorie smiled at the idea, but the thought really saddened Carson. Was there more to look forward to aside from that? Was that all there is?
It was becoming somewhat late. Malorie began packing up her things, including her camcorder. Carson finally asked her why does she film everything? Her answer was unintentionally inquisitive w/ a food-for-thought aspect. What isn't worth remembering? With good memories come bad ones. Malorie's had ALOT of both. At least this way, she can fast forward through all the bad. She did have a good point. Carson pointed out to her that she just found her niche for something to write about. Her face glowed and lit up with excitement. The thought of her writing her first original story gave her the biggest smile. Malorie had to leave soon to catch the bus. After this year they just went through, it occurred to both of them that Carson and Malorie were/are best friends. It doesn't HIT or make you see until the end of the experience. Malorie flashed Carson a sign that made him laugh. Something he hasn't done in/for days.
Carson KNEW Malorie had a rough life, but he NEVER ONCE asked her about it. At least, Carson will now have a friend to be with during his stay in Clover. He thought he could be the friend to her that she's been to him. He spent so much time trying to get others to hear. He never thought to listen. Before he packed up all of the unused residual copies of the magazine to be sent to the nursing home, Carson picked up a copy and flipped through the pages. For the first time since its completion, Carson felt a strong sense of pride at seeing the work of his peers in his hands KNOWING he inspired it. It brought him back to realize what he actually DID accomplish.
Carson Phillips successfully published a literary magazine filled w/ the thoughts, concerns, hopes & dreams of his jaded peers. If he could do that . . . . It made Carson think of the POSSIBLE! Inspiring Carson to type and add one more story to the magazine. He printed and added the new story to the front of every copy of the collected literature. It also served as a dedication of sorts to his grandmother. After seeing & reading what he wrote, it gave him a strange feeling: a sense of being GENUINELY HAPPY!
Carson LEARNED a lesson that took him a lifetime to learn: DON'T ALLOW OTHERS TO BLOCK YOUR SHINE! He refused to allow anyone bring him to a point where he could NOT turn a negative into a positive. He will NOT allow anyone make him feel in a way he DOESN'T want or be robbed of an expression that is HIM! The only part that blows is the year he has to wait in Clover before Northwestern eligibility. The upside is the entering of a brand-new campus w/ nothing to lose! At least it gives him the editorials he will need the next time he applies. Even if his life dreams/aspirations don't come to life, thank God FOR THEM. A life without a drive, dream or focus is NOT living. After he realized that, Carson came to the GREATEST FACT in his life. Life, like a great idea, comes at you fast. Hitting you somewhat similar to lightning. Carson begins to head home before it rains, feeling somewhat good/okay with detour made in his life to the dream.
Next thing you know . . . . .