This next book was written by one of the TOP real estate brokers in New York City. While this book may be about business, it is also personal. It is a remarkable biography about the one who wrote it. From that of his past, to real estate mogul and reality star, here is the story from the man himself, Fredrik Eklund.Fredrik's gift of selling began around 7-yrs-of age. He was in his native country of Sweden and signed up with a company he heard about through school selling Christmas calendars and books. One of the fundraisers where at the end you won a walkman. Fredrik decided right then to out sell everyone else. The goal was the lite from a match that started it all. Making him obsessed. Going to bed every night counting down until he got back up going again. Charting his sales on the wall of his room. When his dad, Klaus, came home, of course, it was aggravating due to his scribbling on the wall.
Due to it being winter, every morning Fredrik loaded the catalogues on a sled and went door-to-door schlepping his wares. Knowing the market of his neighborhood and to the environment of it being retired who had moved in, the elderly ladies were his favorite & capturing audiences. Fredrik was completely polite & appropriate. He was what would've been the grandson who was coming to visit them. In the end, he left them wanting to buy a calendar. Listening and being interested in what they had to say. Fredrik's result - breaking all records in selling. Even receiving a letter from the president of the company asking what his secret was. He also won many Walkman's and sold them to his classmates at school. A technique he used on those that he still uses today when showing properties.An example would be of you automatically being on your best behavior. (Ex. - An introduction: You only have one shot to make a first impression.) You may not be a salesman; but you were selling. The Sell is a daily event for everyone.
When Fredrik moved to New York City in 2006 from Sweden, he only had 2 things with him: a pair of sneakers and a dream. To make it to the TOP in the city that never sleeps. Although he didn't have a clue as how to make it happen or where to start; but Fredrik absolutely believed he would be the best. The only thing that Fredrik believed in was all that he had: himself. No matter what field it would be; Fredrik knew he would be GREAT in New York. He knew it wasn't going to be easy; but he was willing and able to do the work.
Fredrik was immediately hooked on NYC's energy and excitement. The dark adventure of the city reminded him of Gotham that he loved. You could smell the danger. The cab ride through made Fredrik's jaw drop. He took in every aspect of the city. The thousands of tourists with cameras signed something to Fredrik that NYC is the center of it all. One of those experiences that forever mold & shape someone. This was one of those firsts for Fredrik. Father & son climbed to the TOP of the Statue Of Liberty. He seen what Lady Liberty seen did. He was awestruck. He seen the vision of his liberty. Deciding right then & there to be a part of NYC following his dreams.
15 years later, after realizing that dream and moving to Manhattan, Fredrik immediately felt at home and that anything was possible. New York was magical to him and still is. The city itself is empowering to him. Fredrik moved with a few Swedish friends into a 1 bedroom rental apartment on 37TH St. He didn't know anyone in New York; but there was a bit of companion/kinship in their proud, but naive attempt to leave Sweden and not look back. You can miss home; but the drive oversees to create your future; which was NOW!
He had gotten a job selling panini outside of The Late Show with David Letterman for $40/day including one dry, but free, leftover panini for lunch. He worked as a bartender for a total of 3 nights. He was lousy as a bartender, but selling sandwiches was not why Fredrik came to New York. That was when he began looking for a book similar to this exact one. He wanted a modern handbook about reinventing himself and selling what he had to offer the world. Although he didn't have that book, but a friend suggested that Fredrik sell residential real estate. So, he took an accelerated real-estate-salesperson course at NYU and received his license in 2 weeks. He didn't know anything from Adam. He had no idea where to start. Completely beginning from scratch. No business contacts or anything. But, Fredrik had an insatiable hunger for success. Browsing the Internet and researching the city's expensive apartments and reading the biographies of those that owned them. Fantasizing about one day being them. Here it comes upon 10 years of Fredrik in real estate. This is only part of Fredrik's evidence that anyone with a dream can excel and succeed in life. The following will be Fredrik's story within real estate and what he's learned within his own life to be the man he had become.
Whatever you bring to the table or selling to others, YOU are your brand. Consider it as though your brand is your name. What you bring with your name and present, others lead with their impression. Making your name on your own principals. It is also effective in promoting yourself. Building your own profile. Somewhat of a reputation others will remember. When you build a name for yourself, you have to be diligent as to make your hard work isn't wasted/ruined. No amount of money is worth ruining your good name.
After high school, Fredrik applied to the Stockholm School of Economics, one of the premiere business schools in Europe. Fredrik knew he was one of the privileged, it didn't feel right or accomplished. At orientation on the first day, Fredrik seen how stiff and time consuming it was. He didn't have the 4-to-5 years to give until graduation, Fredrik wanted to be out there in the world getting things done. The final decision came in his statistics class in his first semester that was full of graphs & formula's. You are sitting there drowning out because you know there's more to get to then where you presently are. As Fredrik was realizing the school was benefiting to him, a friend introduced him to someone, Maria, who had an idea to build an Internet start up, while Internet shopping was still in its infancy. - Suri before Suri. Maria needed a go-getter to help find seed money. Enter Fredrik. That summer, Fredrik & Marie put a plan into motion. After things were coming to fruition. That was when Fredrik decided he wasn't going back to school.Fredrik dropped out and then told his parents he was done with studying. Of course, they tried to dissuade his decision. Fredrik was coursing his life on his way. Everyone thought he was making the biggest mistake of his life. He was going to prove them wrong. Faring them out and wishing them well on their journeys. Since start-ups were hot and Sweden was ahead of the curve, Klaus, who was a former speechwriter with the Swedish government, gave his son the e-mail address of former Swedish prime minister and several high-profile and other businessmen. Fredrik took action before doubt could mentally arise. The e-mail had them show-up at the address at a certain time. After having their things together and offering each of them a small piece of the company in exchange for their names, experience & faces. Attaching their players gave a 20-yr-old Fredrik huge street cred.
2 years later, they had more than 40 employees and everything was possible. Fredrik was the CEO of their new company, Humany.com, and the youngest person in the company. The Internet was now on everyone's agenda. The new economy was on fire, and the Swedish media placed him on the cover of their most popular magazines. Working that hard, day & night, kept Fredrik focused and his dream of moving to New York tamed. Fredrik was gaining/building his own reputation. From selling an idea, then a company that didn't exist, and finally software that was still being programmed. By the time their software was finished (although not actually working), the Internet bubble was beginning to burst. Beginning to effect Fredrik's physical well-being and becoming draining.
It was the turn of the new millennium. Fredrik was 23. Things were beginning to take a toll. Fredrik could either sink or swim w/ the growing times. He was going home to an apartment that he & Maria bought together and crying due to exhaustion and seeing what was coming ahead and the inevitability for their business collapsing. Feeling like a failure becoming too much for him. Fredrik felt there wasn't a way for him to climb out of the mess he was in. A viable chance for him to learn. After pulling himself up by his bootstraps and selling his shares of the company he had started 2 years prior and got out, and stayed true to his goal of moving to New York . . . by himself.
Before his move, Fredrik knew their was one thing left he had to do: come out of the closet to his friends/family. He broke up with his girlfriend, Simone, who was devastated when he told her. He was summoning the courage to tell his brother, his mom and his friends that he was attracted to boys. A few months later and Fredrik had fallen in love again, it was time for him to come out to his dad. They had a nice dinner at Klaus' new summer home he'd just bought. Before bed, Klaus had asked his son for help in setting the garbage by the road.
Fredrik was extremely nervous, but it was pitch black and he couldn't see him. So, that along with the wine at dinner made it a little easier. Fredrik confessed he was in love with someone. Klaus had asked him what her name was? When Fredrik said his name, Klaus stopped and was quiet. Then he stated that he loved his son and would always love him. Fredrik's family and friends were all supportive and assured they love him regardless. Within a 6 month period, Fredrik had quit his company, come out to his loved ones and finally moved from Sweden. Often the things we think are going to be hard are just hard to start. The only fear is that of the unknown. Although feeling fear of the unknown and in a sea of emotions, Fredrik had his doubts. But, he had no choice but to make it. He wasn't going back with his tail between his legs. He was on a mission to make this work.
You CANNOT get anywhere in life unless you're TRUE to who you are! Let your personality shine. While it's easy to say, it's also hard to do. Stop comparing yourself to others and realize that while you may not have the same things others have to offer, what you do have to offer is - enough. Play to your strengths. No matter who you are, your fundamental challenge is to establish other peoples' trust in you. Trust begins with one thing: the truth. Be yourself and let people see exactly who you are. As you share your story, your personality will shine. In the beginning, your personality is all you've got. When Fredrik first started, he was so nervous working in his first office that he pretended to be someone he wasn't. What you see of who/what makes part of his personality; he thought he should hide when he first started out. While impression means ALOT in a first meeting; take into account that it's LASTING! Conquer your nerves by being your TRUE self. Break the ice, make jokes; BE YOU! and Do it TRUE! Whatever it is, it's LASTING & MEMORABLE!I'd rather be talked about than forgotten. - Diane Borchardt (Ann Margret - Seduced by Madness; The Diane Borchardt Story)
There are always those moments in life as a kid that kill & destroy your dreams for adulthood. Fredrik can personally relate to this: When he was 14-yrs-of age, the other older kids made fun of his blue eyes stating he had "girly eyes" out loud. That made him die inside. He became so scared to pass those boys in the hall that one day he went home and used his mom's manicure scissors to cut them off. His mom asked if Fredrik had burned himself, and he just nodded. He was so ashamed that he didn't even tell his mom the truth. He was trying to fix a problem that wasn't there. NO MATTER WHAT GETS YOU DOWN OR IMPACTS YOU AS A CHILD; USE THAT AS AN ADULT TO MAKE YOURSELF STAND OUT! Find what makes you special and run with it. Others will catch up with it. Make a name for yourself just by being you! Give yourself permission to be a fun you. Fredrik did. (I certainly did with the situations I/Jeremy have been medically placed in.) Finding that authentic, unique you is the secret to master the art of The Sell.
For those of you that know of Fredrik and his high-kick trademark, here is how that began: Fredrik was about 14-yrs of age. Due to quickly growing so fast, he used to wake-up in the middle of the night with extreme growing pains in his legs. Growing a foot in just 2 years. Every time he was seen by his grandmother, she couldn't recognize her grandson. So, Fredrik created the high-kick to make himself visible, stand out & remembered. And it still is! A trademark. A signature. It is needed in business. It will make you memorable in the future. Others may copy it and spread the trademark further.GET OVER WHAT OTHERS THINK! You can fool everyone (for a while) but you can never fool yourself. Be yourself. Don't be a copy of someone else.
Know what makes you motivated. Do what you love and find a way to get paid for it. Fredrik has felt his entire life that he's wanted to feel accomplished, maybe even be remembered for something. Power isn't something. Fredrik finds interesting; it's more affliction. He never felt the need to belong to a club/association, to be a member of something. If anything, Fredrik was a loner who always traveled by himself and loved to be in the minority of opinions.
Embrace & learn from failure. Incorporate your failures into your successes. Your yin/yang. Tell your story and speak the truth. Being on TV, it has taught Fredrik that the more open he is about faults/defaults, the more love he's received in return for being REAL! When you let your guard down and be a true person, people relate & identify. When working or around celebrities, Fredrik has learned that being himself is even more important. When he first meets a celebrity, he is Fredrik. High kick & all. CONFIDENCE IS KEY! DON'T lose your TRUE SELF because of who's in your company! Know what fuels your fire and clarify your drive for what makes you work. When friends suggested that Fredrik try real estate, he could see how it agreed with his big personality, as well as his people & business skills. He applied to NYU's real-estate-salesperson program and enrolled in the 2 week accelerated class. After passing the school test and the Department Of State test, Fredrik searched Craigslist for anyone who would hire him. There he came upon a small boutique firm in Chelsea called JC DeNiro.After confidently meeting & assuring that he would break the office sales records, Fredrik was assigned a desk. Every morning, he walked to work in ratty clothes, wearing one of the few dress suits he owned. He was always the first to arrive. Getting to work at his small desk. No one was interested in helping him out. It was all about commissions. To each of their own. Fredrik was eager. Memorizing neighborhoods, streets, buildings, prices & square footage's. The bottom line from his early days that he was trying to keep himself busy losing a lot of time figuring things out for himself.
Fredrik was late to his first open house. In Sweden, that's the rudest thing you could do, but he intentionally planned it. He allowed no showings for 2 weeks prior to the open house. It took a few minutes, and it created a bit of a scene, which was his goal - to pull attention to the long line and make everyone notice he had arrived and was in control. Afterwords, the client loved him and the buyer loved him for Fredrik's ability of winning a bedding war. It was then that Fredrik felt New York loved him, as well as feeling love for himself. His first unforgettable commission check was of $16,000. Right after the closing, he bought himself a fancy pair of shoes and took a leftover show sheet of his first sold apartment and framed it as an accomplishment for his own apartment wall. At this point, New York for Fredrik seemed so close . . . .yet so far. But, he still had so much to learn, and he was honestly scared and alone. You may hear from family/friends, and still feel alone.
What kept Fredrik going was what stemmed from his childhood in Sweden. He grew up with it detailed to NEVER think he was better than anyone else. It was/is the Swedish way to be. You're supposed to be average, like everyone else. (The nail sticks up must be nailed down.) A lesson by a neighbor taught by Fredrik that sticking out was what you didn't do in Sweden. His grandmother had an opinion. Stand out and be you. In his late teens, Fredrik thought he had to work on his ego. It wasn't satisfying to just do well, he had to do the BEST! Over time, Fredrik accepted that his competitive spirit and need for attention was is his veins. Today, he is so thankful for the ambition and attributes his success to owning it. Escaping the ideology was one of the driving forces behind his move to the United States, and from the moment he made his first deal, his goal was to still be the BEST! Fredrik's obsession to be the best was the wind beneath his wings.
What motivates you to shine at work?
When Fredrik was in high school, there was a poster of a naked woman & a naked man separated by a line between them with the caption: Which one are you looking at? The campaign was designed to help teenagers figure out and be comfortable with their sexualities. The point is: find what lights your fire quickly. What lights your passion and do your best. Happiness and fulfillment. When there is money given there's nothing worth it; however when it's earned, you see the value in your earnings. A feeling of self. As Fredrik as become more successful, money & notoriety have enabled him to do more and give back to those whom need it most.
In honesty, ever since he was a little boy, Fredrik has liked being in the spotlight. When he was 4-yrs-old, Fredrik set up his own theater with hand-drawn invitations for neighbors in Stockholm and charged .80 ahead to see him perform onstage. Looking back, he recognizes that getting attention made him feel fulfilled, more than money. The spotlight, the need for attention and need to win drive Fredrik. What drives you? Money? Success? Fame? Glamour? Whatever it is, acknowledge & be proud of it. In order to be successful, you need a clear picture of what excites you.
Success can't happen overnight. What can be MAJOR to accomplish can be easily tasked when broken into small steps. There have been times along the way when Fredrik considered giving up and had those dark moments as we all do, but remember to keep the finish line as your main focal point. That was exactly what Fredrik did the night he finished his first class of real estate school. He could SEE himself in his future at the kindergarten age in 1983.What is/was your dream?
Depending on the day determines what Fredrik's planning will be. Out of his weekly schedule, it's essential to have one day & vacations off! You may have your 9-to-5 weekly, but you need that time off to rest. Fredrik needs his day off like a flower needs rain. A healthy balance of contrast. A refugee amid the chaos, and Fredrik soaks in the enjoyment. Take your day off and relish it. (Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around every once in a while; you could miss it. -Matthew Broderick; Ferris Bueller's Day Off.) Fredrik is one who takes advantage of every single day. Does anyone ever feel like their body shuts down because you get up early on the daily? Set the tone for your day. Make your day happen. The future depends on what we do in the present.You need to do whatever it is that takes you from worn & wiped to UP! Getting you ready for your day. As the day progresses, after working and being up, does anyone ever get to a point where their body wants to shut down early? When it comes to food & Fredrik during working hours, he does eat healthy & efficiently. If there's no time, he'll have a protein shake. If no time for that, he'll bring food to the meeting. Something appropriate. Small yet satisfying. If he doesn't eat at some point, he becomes bitchy. Fredrik becomes a danger to others and himself. (Missed meal cramps). Make it a point to eat something to help you going throughout the day. After a day that is a CONSTANT RUSH, Fredrik tries to turn into a point of wiring it down time. Completely beaten knowing he gave it his ALL. Wire down and time with Derek & their dogs. Being present with home & family. Around bedtime, it is CRUCIAL for the 8 hours of required SLEEP.
When he was about 5-yrs-old, Fredrik was afraid of the dark and of the monsters that lived in their downstairs bathroom behind the washer/dryer. 5-yr-old Fredrik turned off all the lights in the house and forced himself to face his fear walking around the house in the darkness. Taking from his past and using it today. The negative mentality that prevents you from succeeding. Throw that away. A lesson to be learned for everyone. If you really want to quickly excel in your career, find those who do what you do and see them as a mentor. When watching them and learning; you'll see the dynamics within the team and the way they deal with others. Soak in what you see & learn. If you're there long enough, you earn yourself a positive reputation. Fredrik gets at least 3 e-mails/daily from people who want a job or for Fredrik to mentor them. To impress Fredrik for a job or a mentorship, think outside the box. Go the extra mile. Don't bring in a long-ass resume with your credits. Know who you're wanting to work for. As Elvis Presley stated: "A little less conversation, a little more action please". Kindness gets you noticed. Before you reach the superstar and be on the team; know the gatekeeper.Fredrik's assistant is Jordan Shea. Before hiring Jordan, John & Fredrik had been looking for a new assistant for awhile. Out of other interviewees, Jordan was perfect. Almost too good to be true. He was practically in sync w/ Fredrik working. Jordan knew his craft; almost making Fredrik feel embarassed. A well-oiled machine. Jordan is what you would call the office manager. KNOW who you're working for/with. If you win over the gatekeeper, you have better chances of meeting the superstar face-to-face. Every industry has its standards. Whether it's in society; the working place or etc., there is credibility. In the real world, you have to have credibility. Something hard to build and easy to destroy. You have to build your own. If you've built it based on others, it's either sink or swim. In order to have credibility, you HAVE to build it. When Fredrik is hiring, you better know your facts. KNOW what you're talking about. Figure out what you have to offer. Use your talents to excel. Fredrik has the perfect combination between brain & heart. You have the first 30 seconds to state your case.
Do not be afraid of flatter. If it's sincere, flattery will get you anywhere. Be ready to work for them; not for the praise. Fredrik's first year in real estate, his first broker told him he was going to make a star. Fredrik has never forgotten that. Saying something nice doesn't cost you anything; but will make someone remember you. Flattery needs to be authentic. Say it because it's true. not for personal gain. Don't put your foot in your mouth. That was from an experience Fredrik learned firsthand. Be real in your flattery. You can find something genuine to like about anyone or anything.
The first expensive suit Fredrik ever bought was black, bought within the Meatpacking District's most expensive men's clothing store. Carson Kressley had walked in and encouraged Fredrik within his suit purchase. He bought it due to Carson standing right there and Fredrik wanting to impress him. While in truth, Fredrik was too embarrassed to admit it was out of his budget. The $2,100 on a suit was expensive for Fredrik at the time. But over the years, he had realized the suits were his armor of superpower. Similar to the story the teacher told in Never Been Kissed with the helmet. It gave Fredrik confidence to convince others to buy what he was selling. Wear what would boost your confidence for the proper occasion. When Fredrik was younger, there was one habit he couldn't kick: biting his nails. Jannike used to paint a nasty-tasting stuff on his fingers that he would promptly wash off as soon as she left the room. While he has now stopped, every now & then, Fredrik is still tempted. His business partner, John, is the one who pointed out the habit to him. What he told him with the advice was an aha! moment for Fredrik. After it was pointed out to him, Fredrik bought a nail file that he now keeps at his bedside table. When someone sees you biting your nails, it can sense nervous tension. You want to look natural, relaxed and in control.
Keep yourself in shipshape appearance. There is nothing more attractive than a smile. Fredrik learned that early in his career. He was terrible in live interviews. Seeing that he was looking frightened & awkward. If Fredrik wanted to win business, he needed to smile through interviews, even when talking dull number markets on CNBC. Everything changed afterward and interviews became much easier. When he has a good tan, freshly cut hair, a smile, a new tailored suit & gold watch, Fredrik is at his best. How you feel directly correlates with your attitude. A first impression happens in a blink. Literally. Imagine every day as a first date and get yourself ready accordingly. There are so many uncontrollable things in the world; appearance & presentation are ones that you can.After his first year in real estate success, Fredrik was 25 and his physicality had caught up with him. Letting himself go to pot. Eating poorly, had dropped going to the gym and wasn't sleeping. After seeing himself in the mirror, Fredrik seen the toll had been taken. Right then he began promising himself that his health was more important than wealth. Both physical & mental. He then made a vow to take care of himself. To eat, sleep, exercise well & still work. Fredrik makes those into a must of his daily routine. Similar to that of a dialysis patient with a small fluid intake then into a transplanted patient who MUST acquire a minimum of 3 liters+/daily fluid intake. It all starts with taking care of yourself. It affects your bottom line. Olympians aren't born with their abilities. It's a lifetime commitment to the sport. They make their regimen their jobs. Investing every bit of themselves into what they do.
When Fredrik moved to New York, the gym became an important daily ritual due to vanity. He signed up with the David Barton Gym in Chelsea, NOT for himself, but for it's surroundings. There was no consistency & had no real goal aside from looking good in the gym. All for the wrong reasons that grew stale quickly. He was letting himself go due to the rush of busyness. Life was being sucked out of him. Today, it is all about feeling good and trying to do something that physically makes him feel good everyday. Working his exercise & well-being into his work life. Working his physical health into his daily life. Walking instead of driving. It is/becomes a MENTAL ability state. Hydration is a key factor. Exercise. Get more sleep. A minimum of 6-8 maximum. Cut those eccentricities that you don't need and get your rest. Better for you in the long run.
Find what can center you. For Fredrik, that's pursing his lips. A FORCE of concentration. What you can do to bring yourself back into the room/focus. Amidst the chaos, what is it that centers you? (For me, personally, it would be reading a book.) DUMP EVERY BIT OF NEGATIVITY in your life.
By his 4TH year in business, Fredrik was becoming known as "the listing machine". He was making serious money for his 26-yr-old age and was proving himself to be a real go-getter. That same year, he hit $1 million in income for the first time. What hit him was how to enjoy success with friends who weren't celebrating this new path with him. They wanted to share their negativity and pull him down. Cut out other people's negative BS and don't let them block your shine. Accept whatever pain you're going through, COMPLETELY take it in and be it, and then let it go. If things you're carrying around or people in your life who push your buttons, don't let them wreck & ruin your day. Keep movin' on.
Fredrik knows of his ability to keep in shape at the gym. He is one who is at the gym by 6:00A. While that may not be possible for everyone, exercise is possible with various options with various forms of endless abilities. The hardest part of exercise is getting started. (Similar to that mental resolution for New Years.) Wherever you are/or and your situations, even at home, full milk jugs or detergent bottles can be used for weight lifting. Walking in the neighborhood. There are various ways to exercise without spending. Being lazy is so easy. While there are those who are disabled, you can still find a way to move around your roadblocks. We all have the angel and the devil on our shoulders. Who do we listen to? If you want to be at the TOP of your game - you have to exercise.
When it comes to physical, it also comes to what you eat. Fredrik's diet consists of colorful food with nutrition. No pasta, rice or potatoes. If he has hunger cramps, a protein shake will do. Fredrik's vice was Diet Coke . . . . an obsession - especially in the summer. For years, he had read about how bad the beverage was, but it was in one ear and out the other. Fredrik recently kicked the habit. When weaning and stopping, your body suffers the ramifications. Similar to that of coffee. If you've drank it for years, then stop; sometimes a migraine will occur. It became a doable take. A commitment Fredrik had made for himself to remain TRUE & LOYAL! During his teenage years, Fredrik would get sick often, but not anymore. He is also one who stocks up on Emergen -C. When flying on a plane, he does one pre & post flight.Has anyone ever had those foods that are good for the moment? They may feel good to eat and be delicious to enjoy, but your body itself has you suffering for what you enjoyed. You feel sick & disgusting afterwords. For Fredrik, it would be factory & processed foods. He listens to his body. Whatever you eat; just know the afterward effects. When it comes to sleeping, it is something Fredrik takes very seriously. He is anxious if has not gotten more than 6 hours of sleep; due to knowing it is bad for him all around. If he is interested in a television show that begins past the time he needs to be in bed; 9:45P, he DVR's it and it's watched it the next day.
Fredrik believes, as does others, that the first 30 seconds of meeting someone sets the tone for the rest of your time together, whether its minutes or years. The biggest deal of his life happened within the 30 second period - meeting Derek Kaplan. At this period, Fredrik had basically given up on love. He had spent his years in New York and secretly fearing he might've forever been single. On a trip to Greece where Fredrik traveled alone, on one of the last vacation days in Mykonos, Fredrik seen a 6'5 guy from behind. Derek was the only guy taller than him, but Fredrik didn't know what he looked like. Fredrik went up to him and tapped on his shoulder. He was astonished by Derek's height. In the first 30 seconds, Fredrik had made a good impression and more than a friend. There is no rule against having fun and being professional at the same time. You can be fun & professional. Don't be so stiff and be a TRUE person. Humor itself is infectious in a good way. Fredrik's funniness is the CORE of his winning formula. Regardless of what is originating in a meeting, before entering, Fredrik physically jumps into a room like a happy child and greets them. You want to be remembered for being the person who brightens the room. Humor & charm are great for business. Also putting you on a pedestal; your humor and charm become contagious.
Charm may get you in the door; but charisma and personality keep you there. Fredrik wants to be nice guy who is remembered. Charm is the art of having an appealing personality. We're more likely to build great personal & professional relationships with people we like, people who are agreeable, nice & funny. Personally speaking, I can attest to this. As one who spent 15 years running and doing for others volunteering in a hospital, I built a memorable reputation with those that knew they could count on me. Building a lasting reputation with my personality. You never know who will make you rich or where an opportunity lies. You might forget; but others won't. Sometimes a nice word to others can be a VERY BIG help. Being genuinely glad to meet/talk to someone who is charming. People respect you more when you're the one willing to let your guard down.
While life is busy and IMPORTANT things happen, you are still human. Fredrik's life is about smiling and finding laughter. Work is demanding and laughter is the antienergy. You have to find a way to have fun. If the atmosphere is tense and stiff, find a way to break the tension or less in the room. Never take yourself too seriously. Business is often too stressful that you have to find a way to laugh. Things were getting way too serious out there. We needed to laugh. - Clairee Belcher (Olympia Dukakis - Steel Magnolias) Happiness buys money. It's not about laughter/humor, it's about being yourself. The quirkiness of your TRUE self. Take something that people have seen or already know, make it yours! Being a little nutty melts the frozen personality and suddenly warms up to you!
When Fredrik was 8-yrs-old, he realized people around him needed some help and that he could make some money by offering services to them. He'd help them accomplish their tasks; and in exchange they'd help him by paying him. Fredrik folded towels with his mom, cleaned his grandfather's pool, cut his grandmother's lawn, walked his neighbor's dog, took out their trash, cleaned their litter boxes, and fed their goldfish. He'd charge a fee, which he negotiated with each of them individually. Negotiations were a pivotal part of the process. He could convince his neighbor to give him more money for his services than his grandmother. Taking what skills he used as a kid in his profession as an adult as a real estate broker. Identify the needs of his client and bring the 2 parties together. His clients, being the boss, runs the gamut of how these negotiations transpire. With each of these clients, Fredrik's role is to be their best friend, hand-holder, cheerleader & marketing guru. Whether he was assisting his family with chores when he was a kid or assisting people today with their most, important life purchase, requiring chutzpah, finesse & diligence.
While Fredrik thought it was a bad idea, the management of the real estate firm he was working for in 2006 introduced the company policy for Facebook. From then on all the agents were to create 2 accounts: one personal & one professional. You want your work to be seen; but some of your personal life may be inappropriate for clientele. Fredrik was against it. He wasn't going to be split into 2 people. You can't please everyone. You are who you are and you are only one person. Fredrik wants his clients to see all of his rainbow. Whether you're an obstetrician or an undertaker, you need to find someone who will pay you for what you do. You need an audience and everyday is an audition. No matter your career, it's still important to build a network of contacts, social media is the easiest & most effective targets to those you want. An update from the Rolodex. The 21ST century way. This social media platform will continue to grow, and you (and future empire) will with it. To be successful in life; sometimes it's through word of mouth including bragging. Consider it a mirror to our lives. Are we good or bad at it?One thing about signing on to film a reality show, especially in the first season, and then seeing it air and having people react to it, to Fredrik, it has been freeing. At first it wasn't. He was scared he would be judged, disliked, even hated by some, but he realized you can't please everyone. Sharing his life with the world has made Fredrik grow thick skin and believe in himself and his own path. When it comes to social media, always be authentic. Something to be an overall perspective on success. Someone's disapproval limits your social media expansion. When it comes to social media, realize the future/present job opportunities in your life. Don't post anything that would be a bad reflection on you. Remember when on social media, you're also selling your TRUE self. Your social media content is a reflection of YOU!
Social media accounts for more than a quarter of Fredrik's business. It's not just important; it's vital. Whenever Fredrik has a meeting with someone, he looks them up on various social media platforms and studies their life. Inviting them to follow him, to join his world and sharing. Fredrik had befriended Andy Cohen on Facebook prior to being cast for Million Dollar Listing:New York. Happening in business through word of mouth. Fredrik taught himself social media through years of homeschooling. Studying it, analyzing it, dissecting it, experimenting with it, failing it and aced it. After all these years, it's become really fun for him. You can tell ALOT about a person online. What someone posts online says so much about WHO THEY ARE!
A good tip for business is to have the same social media name throughout your accounts/platforms. You're easier to find. Fredrik's social media is HIS social media account. He does it himself. AUTHENTICITY! Doing it YOURSELF is what helps you build a big following. While competitor's buy their followers, Fredrik finds it tacky. The way to tell is the numbers hike/spiking within a short time. In this generation, selfies are the new autograph. Your account and your followers are an ongoing dialogue - a two-way street. If people follow you - they trust you. A measure of credibility. Yelp is an example that operates on the same idea.
Fredrik's parents and the older generation are living in the REAL world. His mom feels ALIVE when she paints and so does his dad when he is writing at his horse farm. They are in their element & present. The NOW generation, like Fredrik's 9-yr-old (and my 8-yr-old) nephews live in an online world. Everything is happening for them, time stops and they're in their element. Kids of this generation would rather sit & play on their tablets/IPAD's. (I personally find it sad when people/kids especially live in only one of the two extremes. They only find amusement and want to be on YouTube or online in general. If they're not, they're "bored".) Fredrik is precisely 50/50 and cherishes the divide. When the off-and-online worlds collide, Fredrik loves it. Losing himself in time of his element. He does that by bridging the old world with the new world through his smartphone. An example would be paying tribute to the moments he & Derek have during a romantic getaway. Hitting the SHARE button to online followers. There in that moment, between the 2 worlds, Fredrik is in his TRUE element.Twitter is known as "the global town square". Instead of a television revolution; it's tweeted. It's a platform for discoverability. Facebook is what would be a high school reunion where you see relatives & old friends. It is also used as a genuine sales tool. Instagram is Fredrik's favorite. The new kid on the block. The little sister of Facebook. Fredrik loves it due to neatness and order. It's fresh & hip. An image for the perfect sales tool. Simplicity. Photos say 1,000 words. If anything else, social media is/can be a colorful diary that can make you money.
When it's a first pitch meeting, it's an audition; a first impression there is a hesitation because it MATTERS. Something people REMEMBER & rely on. Fredrik was scared shitless which was when it was the MOST IMPORTANT pitch of his life. Heartbeating in your ears & mental anxiety. The meeting was of Derek's parents. It was make or break. A life-changing moment. The mental moments of what they'd expect. Fredrik was so nervous, even though hesitating for a moment. Either pinching yourself or feeling like a failure. Fredrik knew that the first 10 minutes with Derek's parents were the MOST IMPORTANT 10 minutes of his life. Not only was Fredrik asking to marry their son, but he also wanted to have Derek move from them in the U.K. to be with him in New York.
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| Andy Cohen |
A first date is a tricky operation that can have great success or heartbreaking failure. Catching yourself fidgeting. The deafening silence in your conversation. It feels like a pitch from beginning to end. For those of you who have experienced the TRUE first date, your body's reaction to your emotions. Calling with an idea and a plan. When offering something specific that says something, there's confidence but still a question mark at the end. Every baby step you make is one move closer to make The Sell.
Fredrik's first job interview was when he was 17 and vying for a summer internship at the Salomon Brothers office in London. His dream job. Fredrik was nervous, sweaty & had been up half the night. His big mistake was building it up the night before. Looking back, it was that Fredrik was going it alone. Mentally beating yourself for what could be. This is very similar to Fredrik's first week of filming the original season of Million Dollar Listing:New York. Fredrik worked himself up so much he looked stiff in front of the camera. Since then, he's learned to do something with someone before shoots/pitches. He is never boring when he is with his best friend, John Gomes, which is why John is with Fredrik during pitches. Your able to let your guard down with company in tow. That is why Fredrik & John rarely lose a pitch and their able to win/lose together. Laugh at it and move on. Someone has your back. Win/lose you have each other. Now, to show who you are within the 10 minute procession. A relationship is starting to form, but the terms are not set yet. Next: negotiations.Due to an eye witnessing situation in kindergarten and Fredrik studying a mental note, the word equilibrium wasn't something you understand at a young age. It was something Fredrik would see in his future with negotiations. There is a delicate balance. For any deal to happen in business, the 2 sides need to get in balance. A deal/transaction can & be similar to a see-saw. If you remove one person, the deal was off. There is ALWAYS negotiations whether it's an argument or compromise, or a way around/over obstacles. Negotiating is making a deal for yourself. Earlier in his career, when Fredrik was a bit NEW to negotiations, he did his reading research. As useful as the books were, it was FIRSTHAND EXPERIENCE where Fredrik learned the TRUE lesson in what works and what doesn't. The key is to MASTER the give-and-take of everything. The first thing is to put your foot down. Before getting into a SERIOUS situation that involves finance, talent, reputation or self-respect is at risk, the floor to stand your ground is your bottom line. If a deal falls through, you KNOW when to walk away. Similar to gambling. When you're losing what you're walking in with, you should know when to walk away. In negotiating in a personal relationship, your floor (and limit) are reached when you want to move on!
When Fredrik was selling this book to a publisher, he considered all aspects of this deal. When you leave them at just the right point; you'll leave them wanting to make the deal with you even more. Similar to the tactics used to get a good deal from the dealer when purchasing a car. After Fredrik had come back from Mykonons after meeting Derek, whom had gone back to London and Fredrik was wanting to take their relationship to the next level. He didn't want to seem desperate or too eager so Fredrik gave it time. After all, they lived on opposite sides of the world and they'd just met. After 2 days, Fredrik couldn't wait and had texted him. When someone wants something from you, use time as an advantage by delaying a little bit. Good things come to those who wait. This is extra important between the pitch and the negotiation.
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| Ingmar Bergman |
Fredrik learned after his first 3-or-4 live TV interviews that he realized it's not what you say; but more of HOW you say it. What you say also in direct line with how your body language is represented. Fredrik realized by the time he graduated kindergarten that body language tells a story, and our faces sometimes tell it ALL! When he's talking with people, Fredrik tries to keep his arms & hands relaxed and often in his lap. When he used to bite his nails, the worst was getting caught while negotiating. Negotiating in itself is like poker. Don't let your face reveal your cards. Don't be fidgety around your clients. Weakness shows!
When it comes to dealing with Mousy & Fritzy, Fredrik is usually the good cop and Derek is the bad cop. Most negotiations can benefit from a good cop/bad cop routine, that Fredrik often was. Fredrik & Derek use different methods. He will praise them and Derek shouts at them when misbehaving. To use this method, Fredrik needs someone who knows you and works well with you. That would be John, his business partner. It's always good for a customer to hear the same message from 2 different people, different perspectives. While in different sides, the message is the same. A lot of clients do better when they hear from both. You always need a buffer, so to speak. You're creating someone to take the heat off of you. Like a kid asking for permission. Fredrik has to "ask his manager". It can give you a way out with an untouchable authority.
In order to close a deal would be similar to waiting for the other to say I DO! when getting married. When brave enough to ask, you make The Sell. Fredrik's MOST cherished deal and his ULTIMATE is: his wedding to Derek. As the sun set into the water, Fredrik realized how the years of struggle & difficulty - their long distance relationship, the hundreds of e-mailed love letters, the battle to legally marry and live together in the U.S. was now behind them. All the work made the moments better and more appreciating. This was the happiest, biggest & best closing of his life. Derek looked so happy. Fredrik cried way too much. All of it is a moment to last FOREVER!Fredrik's brother, Sigge, and his 2 sons and Fredrik were at an amusement park in Stockholm staring down at a wrinkled napkin on an outdoor restaurant table. His nephews grew more frustrated that Sigge & Fredrik were now more interested in the words on the napkin than seats on a roller coaster. The words on the napkin were what mattered. Helping Fredrik climb even higher in business. Resting on your laurels doesn't work in real estate. You rest and your competitors take your business. It's one thing to get to the TOP; but another to STAY at the TOP! When Fredrik talks about finding the right partner, he doesn't mean a business partner. A business partner is certainly important, but your personal life has a tremendous impact on your professional life. If you don't have someone waiting for you at home at the end of the day to tell you how much they love you and how proud they are, you will have a much harder time succeeding.
Derek is a painter and Fredrik is a businessman. Their careers are quite different, but their life together motivates them both to be better people and to work toward their mutual goal of finding life's happiness. It's like their running an exciting race together as they gun for the finish line. Regardless of your career, 2 heads are better than 1. Fredrik knows other couples who support and encourage each other in their pursuits, whether with ideas or enthusiasm. The same must be true in friendships & working relationships. Your success depends on connecting with other people who are everything you want to be. Think about the people in your life; there are those what may be successful, you might see them as a good influence to be one to be like. Fredrik wants to be around those that are GENUINE, ACCEPTING, TRUSTWORTHY, FORGIVING, CAPABLE OF LAUGHTER! For some, there are some who inspire & mold you to be the EXACT OPPOSITE of what you see and are surrounded by. Don't worry about people talking behind your back. Their behind your back for a reason.
There are those in your life who are a MUST: A family or friend who KNOWS you and will ALWAYS be honest. For Fredrik, it's his brother, Sigge. Sigge is the one who provided guidance and a shoulder to lean on during their parents' divorce, encouraged him when Fredrik said he wanted to move to New York and always has his back.
A special someone who is willing to celebrate you at your best and deal with you at your worst. Someone who will not let you deal with life alone. That would Derek. There is ALWAYS one you can learn from and want to be more like. They may have achieved higher and you wish to take a que from them. Fredrik has 3 of them: one of them being Andy Cohen. Fredrik became a boss at an early age. At 23, he was leading a tech-start-up with 45 employers, but he wasn't the REAL him. He was acting as he thought a boss should. When people are happy, they give it their all. Fredrik sees himself as a team mascot. He sees his team as a family, a happy family based on love. A person who feels appreciated will always do more than what is expected.
Fredrik's team tries to go and socialize after work every other week. It's a chance to be social; to see the person behind the job title and hang out. Taking the lid off of a pressure cooker. Everyone should have a voice to be heard. People's voices MATTER. Every human being is beautiful. And good at something. Your goal as a successful human being is to be interested and encouraging and letting each person KNOW they're IMPORTANT! Learn how to use the media to get attention. Publicity is worth its weight in gold. It creates visibility that translates into clients knowing who you are and what you have to offer. These mentions (including the spreading word of mouth) attract what you need. Socialization and getting your name out there. You can't make The Sell if you don't get noticed. Fredrik had asked how he could get the most attention for his business? The answer was REALITY TV. Not just any show, a show that showcased his record-breaking deals, Fredrik's obsession with real estate, his tenacity, his anything-is-possible approach with clients and superior deal-making skills.
Shooting the pilot for the show was hard for Fredrik. His first & only pilot. They did it on their own as a promo video to get the attention of the decision makers at Bravo. While Fredrik wasn't a big consumer of TV, he knew the basic arc of good storytelling. He flew in a helicopter over New York because Reality TV loves glamour. He fought with his team to show conflict. He went to a gay club looking for love to show love. He showed his profession. Then he showed more of himself within his strengths. After Bravo watched the tape and loved it, Andy Cohen wanted Fredrik to come in. Meanwhile, back at the brokerage firm Fredrik was working for at the time, the owners watched the pilot and thought Fredrik was smart but crazy. Fredrik kept contact with Bravo, who was moving toward branching out with a New York real estate show but at a snail's pace. He went to Greece to clear his head, and, the day prior to meeting Derek, Fredrik got the contract to star in Million Dollar Listing:New York. Within 24 hours, life was changing.
As you expand in life & business, you need to be passionate and enthusiasm is infectious. You have to take chances. Jump on the opportunity when it knocks, it doesn't knock twice. Procrastination doesn't help. The busier you are, the more you'll get done. Play hard; work hard. Time is your MOST VALUABLE asset. I personally use the term that I stole from another Bravo show; Below Deck's Adrienne Gang; who stated where one's resume simply states GET SHIT DONE! Fredrik's dad, Klaus, taught his son an important term when he was little: alternative cost. The alternative cost of something is the value of what you would have made doing something else. In planning vacations, Fredrik chooses where to go depending on the time it takes to get there. He maps it from his apartment until the time to actually vacation. When it's about efficiency, time is money.The day after talking to his mother, Fredrik was sitting at lunch, fretting with friends over being hurt; when an e-mail came in from the executive producer of the show. Ryan Serhant & Luis D. Ortiz were addressed in the e-mail, plus other producers of the show, so it was obviously show related. Next thing you know Million Dollar Listing: New York was nominated for an Emmy. The nominated episode was Fredrik & Derek's wedding. That was a sign that life was in a new direction. Fredrik's REAL lesson is that he REMAINS humble & kind. You may be UP, but remember your lowest and learn from it. Don't fall prey to others jealously. After he invested $10,000 to film the pilot for Billion Dollar Brokers, it took 4 years to land Million Dollar Listing:New York. Every successful person will tell you of their sacrifices along the way. All it takes is a step!
Fredrik's feeling is that you either love someone or you don't. You can love someone and your heart gets broken. But, the blade of the knife gets deeper. When they don't love you back; or possibly at all. Don't spend your time trying to make someone see your special. It only leads to heartache & heartbreak. Waiting for someone to love you is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. People need to know they deserve to be loved. Though money has never been his driving force, there was a TIME money would be a failure Fredrik didn't want to face. It was the spring of 1992 and he was 15-yrs old. Fredrik & Sigge left the snowed in Alps resort in northern Italy where they were skiing with their dad and took the train to Venice. A brotherly escape from the snow. They had purchased items with the money Fredrik had saved working at an amusement park and chopping onions in a Stockholm restaurant. A first time both brothers bought luxury items. As he wondered through the cobblestone alleys, Fredrik mentally seen they rich. They were actually okay. Fredrk felt he had to work hard to accustoms they felt in those moments.
Over the course of his career, Fredrik has had money problems more than once. His start-up ran out of money and they had to go back to investors several times for more. Including previous times already mentioned. If you look at money the wrong way, it can lead to failure. If money makes you happy, more power to you; but not having it DOESN'T mean you're a failure. It's not money; but success makes Fredrik happy. Experiences he's had are priceless and can't be bought or sold. Material things shouldn't be on your list.
When it comes to illness, Fredrik can't go through life worrying about declining health. When he begins to feel it even begin to start, Fredrik won't stop living each full day. His grandmother is a cancer survivor. Instead of running from it, he went for it and came out the other side feeling more alive. It was a restart for her life. She now appreciates every day to the fullest. Fredrik learned & accepted that like everyone else in the world they will pass and leave this world, and is determined to do all that is possible while he's alive. The more thankful Fredrik is, the more he attracts things to be thankful for. Fredrik's belief in life is this: Making our hard work and our achievements matter by finding ways to celebrate our success. The world is full of givers and takers. If you really want to make The Sell, the more you give, the more you receive. It doesn't cost anything to be nice & give.
Travel is Fredrik's FAVORITE luxury. He would cover the walls of his childhood bedroom in posters of the Maldives. In the wintery Sweden as a kid, Fredrik loved staring at the gorgeous palm trees hanging over the white beaches and dreaming. The posters became somewhat of a shrine of heaven. When he was 13, inspired by the posters, Fredrik even wrote an extensive paper on palm trees. As a kid, he knew that to get to the posters ACTUAL location, he KNEW he would have to work getting to the REAL places. Your business expands in direct proportion to the fun you have and the adventures you take; whether alone or with your company.
Live your dream and Make The Sell!
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