Friday, October 14, 2011

Don't Stand Too Close To A Naked Man

This book was written by someone we all love from TV/Movies. Someone for, if you think about it, every generation. This book while being written during a hit TV show, Home Improvement, and a new movie at the time, The Santa Clause. Here comes/is this funny story of the one who brought us "Tim, the Tool Man Taylor" , A Santa Clause and Buzz Lightyear, Tim Allen.

Originally born Timothy Allen Dick in 1953 in Denver, CO. A normal typical boyhood childhood was SHATTERED at 13-years-old. On a November day that SCARRED him when his dad died driving home and was hit by a drunk driver.

As a kid/teen, Tim was a HELL RAISER, whether alone or w/ friends for no reason. When he was with friends, all hell broke loose; when by himself or in front of  adults - sweet as can be! 'The Eddie Haskell Syndrome'. After the petty theft w/ friends didn't pan out, he tried to sell drugs and was caught and sent to prison!

A story of how Tim was about to get HIS ASS KICKED by an inmate turned into laughter and then into comedy. After his time in prison was completed, awaiting sentencing, he decided to give stand-up comedy a try. Being funny literally saved his life.

Tim learned everything about women and their understandings by getting comfortable with them and they dropped the "he's-a-man" issue after they became comfortable too! One thing that Tim says about love which is TRUE  if you think about it: Silence has it's complications, why I'm saying that is this:  You watch TV, you (day)dream about someone you like, but what if you met that person and perception ISN'T reality? Here's a tip: When a women is REAL straightforward, READ BETWEEN THE LINES!! Something else is the way a woman asked a question that makes men frightful. Ex: Do you think that's FUNNY? Men reply: "Not if you don't!" Then there's the certain detailing between men/women coming from experience.

One thing that is SACRED ground is the "men's zone". An example: your own room, garage, basement, etc. Something else is: that women tell a man how to do something, a man does it differently and gets yelled at! WHO CARES AS LONG AS IT GOT THE JOB FINISHED/COMPLETED!! Men are fascinated by 2 things: construction & destruction.

Tim is RIGHT about 2 things. 1 - With women, you DON'T NEED 10 pairs of shoes or bags for 2 feet/arms. The second is "a man's collection" . Electronics, grills, etc. Here's something: even though it does happen and we ALL KNOW that it does, is it REALLY FAIR to just assume that a man's just going to lie -or right away lie about situations? Even the old expression "Guys lie about DUMB shit" Or that women are ALWAYS right and men are ALWAYS wrong? Kind of like "once you learn I'm right, we'll all be happy".

After eight years, Tim settled to finally get married to his wife Laura. They later had a daughter. Before she was born, Tim thought/seen no reason to be in the delivery room, he thought he would be a pain in the ass, until he seen why. When his daughter was born, Tim seen a whole new side to being a man.

Since this books publication in in 1994, Tim has completed his series, 'Home Improvement/Tool Time' and done more movies. In 2011, Tim returned to TV w/ a new sitcom 'Last Man Standing'  about . . . you guessed it a MAN's man. Only this time, a father to 3 daughters. (Talk about a hellish nightmare)!


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