Beginning w/ telling different stories from growing up as a kid in North Carolina. The kind of trouble & hell raising Ron would create as a kid makes for some pretty funny stories. When they were kids, one thing Ron & his brother, Jason, wanted was a dog. Everyone had one and they were pit bulls. What did they do when all kids loved and respected their dad do? They went straight to Momma for permission. Ron & Jason wanted to work all summer in the tobacco fields & odd jobs to earn the money. Let's just say their dad, "Pops", knew they learned their lesson that day they drove home from wanting a pit bull.
When he was younger on summer vacation, Ron and his family went to Topsail Island. One summer, Ron took a buddy, Shane, w/ him on the trip. One day, Shane had the idea of going under the pier, taking fishing rods & catching a seagull and flying it like a kite. Things get worse when Ron seen the blue lights from down the beach. The cops jumped out and headed straight for them. Shane ran off leaving Ron really nervous. One cop went after Shane, the other threw Ron in the sand and slapped handcuffs on him. Ron was bloodied from the "gentile" cop. They were both loaded into the cop car. Shane found humor in this situation, but Ron was nervously awaiting Pops reaction. After Ron's Pops bailed them both out, five minutes later, he gave Ron some unforgettable advice.
When Ron was a teenager, him, Jason & their cousin Brian, spent every weekend on the hour long trek to East Carolina University (ESU). They spent their teen years and their money at the bars down there. With fake I.D.'s, they were in the establishments, but it was the bartenders who always nailed them. 15 minutes out of ECU, the guys spotted a convenience store already drunk. When they were leaving the store, who was behind them pulling up? The local sheriff. The managed to get away and grabbed another beer. Jason ended up spewing all over the car, Ron & Brian. Ron was head-to-toe covered in beer, piss & vomit. Everyone was sick. Cleaning the car w/ the windows open at a car wash. BIG MISTAKE. They wanted to back to drinking but headed back home instead.
Ron grew up on a street in the town of Lizard Lick, NC, that everyone called "Jackass Road". One of the favorite things to do for Ron growing up was going hunting. He would spend the summer picking tobacco leaves. He would save most of every dollar he made w/ the desire to take his Pops w/ him on a hunting trip. Ron in his money savings became tight w/ his earned savings. Ron booked a bear hunting trip experience for them both near the Canadian border. It was on this same trip, the following day, Ron went w/ someone in a Dodge truck. They pulled into a Hardee's in a small town. After Hardee's, they pulled into a donut shop being informed they were picking up bait for the trip. Leaving and heading to the hunting site, the lobster bait they picked up was getting to Ron. He ate his fill of the lobster. Afterwards he felt sick and settled for a short nap. 30 minutes past when Ron heard something. Coming closer to him, it was a baby moose. Ron's idea was to catch him & raise him to be world class then sell him to the highest bidder. As he was walking w/ the little moose, Ron came across the Momma moose and knew he was in for it. So he took off and ran like hell back to the truck. Ron learned a valuable lesson: Don't mess w/ somethin' that's not messin' w/ you!
|NOT the house, but a description|
Ron realized he was in an ambulance. He tried to get up but couldn't move his leg. He asked about what happened and was informed he had seriously been struck by lightening. Turns out that it wasn't Jason that told him, but from God Himself. The jolt had blown out all the windows + Ron's fingernails and toenails and burned off ALL of his hair EVERYWHERE. Ron thought he was on fire, so he jumped into a pool. He hit his head, went unconscious then Jason jumped from the top of the house into the pool to save his brother. He pulled him out, did CPR and the ambulance arrived. It was in the ambulance that Ron was informed that he had literally been struck by lightening. After having a good talk in the hospital that night, Ron & Jason knew how much they meant to each other.
When he was in his early 20s, Ron and his best friend, Johnny, were the humblest big guys you'd ever meet. They liked to visit the bars near North Carolina State on the weekends. Fighting was all what Ron & Jason were known for. After Ron had been in a fight on a Friday night w/ Jason in tow, when Jason walked off in the darkness, swallowing his pride, driving up the road, right next to Jason for him to get in the truck, for the planned trip of frog gigging, Jason was walking off angry when Ron called him one thing that would git him which was "Yeller". When Ron yelled that out, next thing Ron knew there was glass shattering and blood POURING from his nose. Ron knew the punch was coming, but was frozen right in the driver's seat. They both took a broken nose that night. When Jason punched Ron, he also broke the window of the truck. After laughing, hugging it out, a shot of (moon)shine, they high-tailed it to the pond.
When he was in his mid-20s, Ron was invited by a radio station, KFYR 550, in North Dakota, to spend a week hobnobbing w/ disc jockeys and stuff. It was the most memorable trip he'd ever taken. If it was free, he'd bask in it. He learned a valuable lesson on that trip:(Just because they offer it, doesn't mean you have to take it). When he was younger, Ron was one of those kids who didn't have ALOT, but knew it all. Learning things the hard way by running headfirst into a brick wall. When Ron married his first wife, things weren't any different. Even through the difficulties w/ his ex-wife, he did get one great gift out of it, his firstborn, Alexa Rayne Shirley A.K.A. Daddy's Little Angel. The closer the due date of his ex's pregnancy, the more NERVOUS Ron became. The more the baby was coming in delivery, Ron's head was spinning and he eventually got sick. After the baby's crowning, the doctor began to chuckle asking Ron what he thought. All Ron seen was a blank face - literally. He was FIRED UP! His eyes went blank. He reached over, grabbed the doctor by the throat, trying to pop his head, SCREAMING at the top of his lungs afraid his child was born unable to see or speak. Then he heard a baby cry. The nurse had to come in and finish the delivery. Ron had NO IDEA babies were born face-down Due to the pouring rain outside that day + his emotions, Ron named his baby girl, Alexa Rayne Shirley.
A really cool thing about Amy, besides being a world champion power-lifter, is that she is also a licensed mortician. When she & Ron first began dating, they had very little money. Amy loved Ron for what he had, which wasn't very much at the time. Whenever Ron wanted to give Amy flowers, if he seen a freshly dug grave, he'd pull over and take the flowers to give to her. Problem was: they were always short stemmed flowers, so when Amy would ask Ron where they came from, he told her he'd bought them 1/2 off at a Home Depot. When Amy became a mortician and was around dead people all the time, she figured out what Ron was up to. Since Amy now knew, Ron asked if he could tag along w/ her at funerals, he could see a business, thanks to the discarded flowers. Amy finally agreed on the condition that Ron would donate half of his earnings.
One day Amy called Ron because she needed his help in moving a large man's body. Ron loved Amy so he did it, but was very uncomfortable. When Ron started to grab the man's head, he realized he had grabbed the head of a decapitated man, which made him drop the head on the floor w/ Amy laughing hysterically and Ron screaming. Amy sewed the man's head back onto his body. After Ron emptied 4 gallons of gut fluid and dry-heaved for 30 minutes, he helped Amy prepare for the funeral thanks to Ron's friends. After the funeral, Ron was thirsty and took a swig of the communion wine. He was surprised to see it was REAL wine and drank more of it. Thanks to the rules and Ron's being blessed for the wine, the priest for the services and Ron both shared ALL 4 bottles. They were HAMMERED!
Soon afterwards a fight broke out between Ron and the priest. Amy broke them up and didn't say a word. At the services, Amy had rage. Ron was in for it. When EVERYTHING was all said and done, Amy left him there right at the graver sight. Ron had to have Jason come and get him from the church. Since things couldn't get any worse, Ron & the priest blessed some more wine.
In closing, Ron goes into what resulted in the damage(s) of his addictions. (That is what the pages below describe)
Ron, Amy & Bobby can be seen weekly on the inner working(s) of Lizard Lick Towing And Recovery in North Carolina on the reality series 'Lizard Lick Towing' on TruTv.