   To celebrate the holiday season, I thought I would close out the 2025 year with some meaning. This book is one that has that message. It's not about the holidays, it's about how they try to avoid & skip it ENTIRELY! From acclaimed author John Grisham, comes a tale with a holiday heart while couple Luther & Nora Krank are simply Skipping Christmas!
This story begins the Sunday after Thanksgiving, one of the biggest days of the year for air travel. The daughter, Blair, was the one leaving while her parents, Luther & Nora, stayed behind. Blair was 23 and fresh from graduate school with a handsome resume. A friend from college in Africa is with the Peace Corps. This inspired Blair to dedicate the next 2 years to helping others and was assigned to Peru, where she would teach primitive little children how to read. Blair was anxious to begin her journey. For the first time in her young & sheltered life, Blair would spend Christmas away from home. Nora tried to be strong. After the goodbyes were said and done, Luther was firm, but sad; fighting back the tears. A year in Peru that would fly by. Blair would be home next Christmas. Then off she went to Peru.
It was rainy as Luther & Nora were leaving. While Nora was a little emotional about the departure, Luther just wanted to get home. It cost Luther $7.00 to free himself and his car from the greed of the airport authority. He was 2 miles from home when Nora needed some things from the grocery store; Chips, that couldn't wait. A store that Luther despised to go to its outrageous prices, snobby staff and in a location that was ALWAYS out of the way. It also wasn't the type of place where you can run in, buy and get out. Not like Kroger's. The lot was full and you could barely park. Nora said she would just run in as she was frustrated that Luther was unable to park. She didn't want to go in protest. They both knew Luther would just get the job done. The order that he was picking up of Nora's list was a white chocolate bar and a pound of pistachios. But with specifics: Logan's chocolate and Lance Bros. pistachios. It COULD NOT wait due to Nora working on desserts the following day. Luther went into the store, but not before stepping into a GIANT pothole filled with water from the rain. COLD water submerged his feet & ankles. Busy sidewalks and stores.With the treat of snow on the way, shoppers hailed in/out of the store. There were no carts/baskets at Chips, but Luther didn't need one. A quick run-in was slow with a full store. After finding what he needed, far off from where it should've been stocked, they were OUT of white chocolate. But they had everything else. It was the tipping season, another aspect of Christmas that Luther loathed. $6.00+ for 1LB. of pistachios. After grabbing the bag and hurriedly walked to the car, Nora was down. She had just heard Blair calling from on the plane. He then wondered of the expense of the phone call. Luther thought of the cost considering they just left Blair an hour ago.
Nora then seen that Luther forgot the white chocolate bar. They didn't have any and he didn't know to ask the butcher for chocolate. Nora was frustrated because she had to have it. So, this time she went into the store while Luther sat in the car getting warm. Traffic was stalled on the streets beyond. It was then that Luther wondered how nice it would be to avoid Christmas. A snap of your fingers and BAM it's January 2ND. No Christmas fodder or likings WHATSOEVER! Luther than began smiling and dreaming pleasantly of the escape.
Nora returned and was back with her order. Reassuring all was done by the directions she had given Luther. Sometimes you just have to do things yourself. When she returned after explaining how its done; the key was that it was hidden behind the butcher and scarce. Nora was wondering about Blair. Luther assured her that the Peace Corps. wouldn't put Blair in a danger zone. Luther & Nora both felt it was going to be a weird Christmas without Blair.
Nora had woken up feeling the pangs of being an empty nester. She wanted dialogue; but a sleeping Luther silenced that. 11A.M. When Luther awoke and made a pot of decaf coffee. An hour later, Luther, whom was a tax accountant by trade, was accounting for what they spend on the Christmas holiday. With great relish Luther tallied the damage, as if it had been inflicted by someone else. His records made for a very strong case. Adding in donations to their church, the toy drive, the homeless shelter & the food bank. All totaling at $6,100. All non-deductible. In distress, Luther, which was rare, reached for the bottle of cognac in his desk drawer and took a few shots. He had slept from 3A-6A. After the morning ritual, Luther had ran to the office as a man on a mission.
The travel agency was in the atrium of Luther's building that he had walked by at least twice a day daydreaming. He had stolen away just after 10A. Luther had darted through the door of the Regency Travel where the agency was waiting. December is the best time of year for a cruise. Luther was sold just on that. The brochure sent Luther daydreaming in awe. He had settled on the Island Princess. He had left with a struck of brochures and went back to his office. Luther had articulated his plan for this ambush trip to Nora carefully. The cold & wet weather gave Luther easy luck. Cold, wet weather v. 10 luxurious days in the sun. With Nora being saddened without Blair, that was Luther's niche to keep her mind off of the joys of Christmas. (It sure won't be the same without Blair) Nora was trying to keep off the fact that she'd been crying. She survived that day. While she heated up dinner, Luther snuck in a reggae CD into the stereo. Timing was crucial. He kept up how dull/down the holidays would be without Blair. She wouldn't be home for Christmas for the first time in 23 years.
Luther began to hint. His facial expression began to speak. Finish Your Pasta. But he was finished. He then began to put attack onto his plan. Luther began to display the math, work & plan of what he had done at work. He began to present Nora with the cruise trip idea. Talking her into what fun they could have. What she could throw as an excuse to get out of it, Luther gave solutions. The only catch is: They don't do Christmas. What they spend in Christmas annually would be the cruise. NOT A DIME on Christmas. A TOTAL boycott. Just for one year. Blair won't be there, but will be the next. Just skip this one year. The cruise would cost $3,000 LESS than the holiday. They're actually saving money. They would leave at 12P. NOON on Christmas Day. Nora was almost there to give a yes. One thing first . . . A deal breaker was their charitable giving. If they couldn't donate & give, Nora wasn't going. He killed off her arguments one-by-one except for the donations. A Lousy $600 to give. After grudgingly giving in, an hour later, to Nora's request, $600 to donations; NOT A PENNY MORE! Then she agreed. Luther & Nora were Skipping Christmas and going on a cruise.
Although it was Luther's idea, Nora was the first to deal with the outcome. When it came to ordering Christmas cards, the stationary store owner was a bit concerned about Nora's usual order considering she hadn't placed it. Nora didn't like to be hounded by a crabby shopkeeper, who didn't acknowledge her the rest of the year. According to Luther's audit, $318 were at a cost last Christmas for cards, at the moment it seemed somewhat extravagant. In years prior, Luther flatly refused to help with addressing & stamping and he flew hot every time she asked if people should/shouldn't be added/deleted from their mailing list. When asked, Nora had nicely turned them down about the cards. For a moment, Nora had some pride while others were taken aback. After prodding, Nora told the truth about the cards. In the end, Nora realized she wouldn't miss the entire ritual of Christmas cards.
Nora called Luther after her encounters in the neighborhood. When Luther hung up, he began applying the news to his colleagues at work that he was simply Skipping Christmas and taking a cruise instead. He applied that in a letter that he then placed on their desks. The gravity of his scheme hit hard the next day when the neighbor's permanent scoutmaster came to the door. He had 2 dressed Boy Scouts with him as they were selling their annual Christmas trees again. They were ready to deliver to the door. Luther's was a Canadian blue spruce. Looking behind them, Luther could see all the work the boys had put into delivery. Their price was raised to $90 due to supply. It was $80 the previous year. With a big fake smile, Luther politely declined buying a tree. The pain hit Nora looking at these kids' faces. Blank, puzzled & sad faces. A groan from over his shoulder as the pain hit Nora. Luther KNEW this was a pivotal point in their decision & sticking firm on it. If you give in NOW, you will the rest of the year.The boys looked at Luther as if he just had taken the change from their pockets. The boys thought it was because of the increase in price. Luther assured them it wasn't and the truth in their plan. They didn't need a tree. The boys and their scoutmaster dad were heartbroken. While Nora offered a pitiful groan, Luther offered money for their trip in the summer. Giving them the charitable donation without the tree. Feeling obliged to thank him, they wanted to leave as Luther slowly closed the door and waited.
When they reached the truck, another adult in uniform was told the bizarre news. You tell one person; next thing you know, the entire neighborhood does. Grouping at the end of the driveway; staring at the Kranks household. Luther crouched down to not be seen wondering what the neighbors were doing now. Nora pointed out that Luther could've bought the tree and not put it up! That wasn't the point of the boycott. The Scouts moved on down the road to deliver trees to others. Luther built a fire and settled into his recliner for reading. Nora was pointing; a short spell that would be over by morning. Every time an opportunity to give in once arose, Luther knew it all began from there. More encounters were coming and it was one of the reasons Luther disliked Christmas. Luther eased from the house an hour later. After the fray, Luther walked around the neighborhood and could SEE from an eye view of his neighbors. What he seen told it all; said it all explaining the reasons behind the boycott. What madness!
Nora and 2 friends had just captured a table at their favorite deli. It was a working lunch. Candi & Merry were the other 2 members of a committee to oversee an auction for the art museum. Nora had gotten a call on her cell phone that the other ladies insisted she receive at the table. It was Aubie from The Pumpkin Seed wondering about Nora's annual party invitations that she had forgotten about. Nora politely declined they didn't need them either. What about the annual Christmas party? No party. They wouldn't be needed them if they weren't having a party. Nora then told her friends the truth in their plans for the cruise. The deli was suddenly quiet. Mentally Luther was telling Nora of the cruise countdown. Everyone was then wondering of holiday plans without the Kranks? When being questioned about the cruise, it was on Christmas Day. Their party was on Christmas Eve and Luther & Nora just didn't want to! A few people were envious of Nora wishing they could do what she was doing. Merry began wondering whom to express this news to. After Nora ate with her friends at the deli, gossip about the cruise became inevitable. Nora's friends would gossip with envy while some spread with wonder & appall. After they were done eating, out came the paperwork.
When Nora left, not another word was mentioned about Christmas. She also phoned Luther with news of their victory. He was up & down. Meanwhile, Luther's secretary, a 53-yr-old 3x divorcee named Dox had quipped that she'd have to buy her own perfume, she had supposed, Santa wasn't coming this year. Due to Luther's plan, his colleagues seen him as a Scrooge. Later in the morning, Yank Slater had told Luther he was a genius in his plan. After Yank himself had gotten home, he did just as Luther had done and seen amounts spent just like Luther. Yank's total was over $6,000 same reaction. Yank's wife would never agree thanks in to such foolishness and their own holiday traditions. Yank then seen something in Luther's plan. He was quiet while his colleagues dreamed. While others did as their wives said, they seen Luther as their hero.
Vic Fromeyer had heard the rumor from around town. Luther could do as he damn well pleased, but Vic and the rest of the town wouldn't take it laying down. Vic Fromeyer was the un-elected mayor pf the town. His cushy job at the university gave him time to meddle and his boundless energy kept him on the street organizing activities. With 6 kids, Vic's house was the undisputed hangout. The Frosty's had been Vic's idea; although he seen it in a suburb and thus couldn't take full credit. The same Frosty on every roof of the streets in the neighborhood. The trend debuted 6 years prior and was a smashing success! Each year, Frohmeyer decided the date on which to resurrect the Frosty's, and after hearing the rumors about Krank & the cruise, he decided to do it immediately. Luther had taken the memo Frohmeyer had sent from a smiling kid. After it had come, Nora felt compelled for Luther to put up Frosty, but Luther was standing his ground. It wasn't just Frosty, it was the point & principle of the situation. Luther was not going to be Forced into doing this memo of decorating!Frosty's would be a staple on the house in the neighborhood. At a cost of $82.99 + shipping, everyone packed away their Frosty's with care. Frohmeyer would leave work early so he could supervise matters on Hemlock and he was quite pleased to see activity. Kids began joining in the neighborhood fray, including Vic Frohmeyer's kid, Spike, a 12-yr-old version of his father. At the Kranks', Spike rang the doorbell with no response. Luther's car wasn't there; but Nora's was. The curtains & shades were pulled. No answers at the door and the kids moved down to other neighbors whom were busy with their Christmas decorations. Nora was on the phone in their bedroom talking to Luther. Luther thought Nora hiding in their bedroom as the kids were at the door was comical. While Luther was at the office thinking it was funny, Nora had to deal with neighborhood hell.
After the business day, Luther kept thinking of Walt Scheel, whom was his rival on Hemlock, a grumpy sort whom lived directly across the street. He had 2 kids out of college, a wife, Bev, whom was battling cancer, a mysterious job with a Belgium conglon & an income in the upper ranger - but Walt and Bev expected their neighbors to think they had a lot more. Walt Scheel was a neighbor "one upper". Whatever the neighbors had, Walt had too as well. Their haughtiness had been stopped cold with the cancer diagnosis 18 months earlier. Keeping ahead of the neighbors didn't matter anymore. Enduring cancer with dignity as the neighborhood supported like family. A year after the first bout with chemo, the neighborhood worked itself out. A year prior, 2 houses on Hemlock had gone without Frosty's - the Scheel's and another couple whom only lived there 3 months. Luther had suggested the Scheel's keep their Frosty in the basement. The Frosty idea had been cute 6 years prior when it had first come about. Over time, it had become tedious. Luther had seen through the blinds as townsfolk had lain out the town Christmas listening to Frohmeyer. When the street was clear, Luther went for an after dinner walk. He was not going to be a prisoner in his own home & hide.
Luther did have a twinge of guilt as he admired the 2 neat lines of snowmen guarding their street. As people were decorating, it brought back a few distant memories of Blair's childhood and of those times. Luther was not the nostalgic type. He was quite proud of his decision to take a year off. Spike Frohmeyer & Luther had gotten to talking and he had found out about the Kranks skipping the holiday. The news took Spike for a loop. He didn't know they could just skip it. Spike thought just like his dad, If the Kranks weren't going to be there, they could still have a Frosty up. The point wasn't about winning an award. Winning is overrated. Vic was lying in ambush beginning chatter as he was catching up to Luther. Christmas sure wasn't going to be the same without Blair. Frohmeyer just didn't think it wasn't right for some reason to be skipping out. From then, Luther left him there in amusement.
Nora's late morning round table at the shelter for battered women ended badly when the Christmas Eve party was brought up. Of the 8 women present; including Nora, exactly 5 had been invited to past parties. At the table, Nora had announced their taking a year off. They had already heard of the cruise and were leaving on Christmas Day. Nora & Luther were eliminating the holiday altogether. Women handled Christmas, not men. Doing all of the preparation. After the adjournment of the meeting, Nora was the first out of the room. Hold in your contemptment and let it out of you at home in comfortability. As Nora arrived home, she seen how much of a SERIOUS boycott Luther had taken. The house stood alone among the rest of the decorated ones. Nora then came upon airmail from Peru. A 2-page letter from Blair. She was having a great time in the wilds of her environment; living with an Indian tribe that had been around 1,000 years. They were very happy & healthy. The children were very distant at first, but had come around, wanting to learn. Blair was living in a hut with a new friend from Utah. She was healthy & well-fed. The work was challenging. The letter was a jolt of fortitude that Nora desperately needed. The letter filled Nora with parental pride, not just for their decision to forgo the holidays, but for how their daughter turned out.
During a Monday night out, Luther seen a new sporting goods after sneaking out of a movie he went to see with Nora. After browsing through, he found the snorkel gear in a slim section. The section of the swimsuits were of the Speedo variety. Luther was afraid to touch them. He'd gotten himself a catalog shop from home. He stopped & gawked at a life-size poster of a gorgeous young lady whom was perfectly tanned. It was a small salon called Trans Forever and Luther was taken aback. The counter girl, Daisy, was tanned DARK and her teeth were WHITENED. Their Christmas special was 12 sessions/$60.00. One session every other day. He didn't want to look unprepared before the cruise.Two neighborhood patrolmen, Salino & Trean, were whom Luther seen through the blinds of their home. He instantly thought of Frohmeyer, whom was able to summon the police to Hemlock faster than the chief himself. After they arrived and Luther let them in to get their business over with, Nora vanished into the kitchen not saying a word. Salino did all the talking as they were there for The Police Benevolent Association who were there for their annual charitable donations for the community that Luther & Nora annually always give to! Luther had heard their spiel before for donations. To keep costs, the wares they were selling were a handsome calendar for the next year that featured their members in action shots. Trean, on cue, had done his presentation play-by-play. Luther admired the photos & artwork without a word as the months drew on. Nora kept theirs in the basement, where she secretly enjoyed it all year. The calendar was a financial disaster for all concerned; but it created more interest the following Christmas. Luther bought one every year, due to it being expected. Salino & Trean upped the ante on costs for the additional layer of goodwill that people like Luther were expected to give. It was this coerced above-the-table bribery that Luther hated. The guilt trip laid on you for you to give. Luther stood and flatly declined to needing one. It was a shock for them to hear it. Luther told them they didn't need one because Nora already bought them; which was a lie. News to Nora as Luther threw her under the bus. Nora was nervously biting her nails. They continued their selling as Luther was politely declining whilst Nora felt a tear coming.
As they continued the guilt, Luther caught himself for a second and allowed his anger to settle in. He wasn't budging into their guilt trip. A tense pause from the officers came after Luther relayed to them all of the aforementioned charity he does give to the city. Salino had heard the rumors of Luther;s goofy plans for Christmas. Frohmeyer had told them. Nora wanted to burst through the door and get the calendar, but she didn't, because the aftermath would not be pleasant. Before they left in disappointment, Luther asked if the police still sponsor the softball team for orphans? Since they still do, Luther assured them $100.00 for uniforms in the spring. That didn't appease them. After they left, Nora sharply wondered at why Luther just couldn't give them the donation? The calendar wasn't the point.; it was the principal. Once you start, it snowballs. Each night, Luther & Nora rewarded themselves with a small container of bland, fat-free imitation fruit, which their savored as a last meal. Luther was down 7 LBS. and Nora 6.
The next thing you know, carolers were riding in a truck from the Lutheran church looking for a site to place themselves. The truck turned on Hemlock and the target became obvious as they seen the unadorned home of the Kranks. Walt Scheel had already been outside twinkering their lights. Since Luther wasn't decorating, Scheel decided to go with extra gusto to his home. When the truck stopped, they had asked Walt about the Kranks house across the streets, Walt filled them in on Luther and their ongoings. Next thing you know, Walt pointed the carolers to Kranks' door for Christmas cheer. As close as the carolers could get. Scheel ran to his front door and told Bev to call Frohmeyer, Well, while Luther was just finishing his yogurt container, the carolers commenced very close to him. The Kranks ducked for cover and stayed low in their own home. After Luther had spotted them, he took a step back and what he seen were trespassers. Nora had seen what the carolers were doing was cute. What she seen as cute, Luther seen trespassing. He figured someone told them to come there; figuring it was either Scheel or Frohmeyer.
Go ahead Luther. Call your friends down at the police department. Luther thought about it. It wasn't too late to buy a calendar. Next was the ENTIRE neighborhood joining in the fray of carolers. A lively and loud rendition. They sang so loudly so that Luther was inside squirming. After 20 minutes, Nora's nerves gave way and went to the shower. The carolers were slowly itching at Luther as he fumed & cursed under his breath. The last time he peeked outside, people were still on the lawn smiling & shrieking at the house with Frosty The Snowman. When they began, Luther went to his office in the basement and resorted to the cognac.
After Luther had gotten UP w/ his coffee and gotten the newspaper, he seen a sign in the center of his lawn, with the proclamation FREE FROSTY on poster board on his lawn. Luther had felt eyes watching him. Putting the paper under his arm and going back inside as if he never seen a thing. With each new dig for him to do as he pleased, Luther was more determined to skip Christmas. He wasn't going to crack; but he feared Nora would. If she believed the neighborhood children were now protesting; she would give in. The outside environment was getting to Luther as he drove to work. Work had become a getaway for Luther. He enjoyed life on Hemlock, got along well with his neighbors, even managing to be cordial to Walt Scheel and Luther was now uncomfortable being the target of their displeasure.
Before long, Luther was mentally drifting away to the Island Princess along with all of its offerings. Soon after, a buzzer went off and his 22 minutes were up. After 3 sessions, Luther could see some improvements within his appearance. Just a matter of time before the office commented on his tan enviously. Luther soon caught himself dreading the drive home on Hemlock. Up until then, things were fine. EVERYONE around him continued Christmas glee. He was surrounded as he packed into the garage; then sprinting into the house and locking the door behind him. When he walked in, Luther seen the last thing he wanted to see . . . Christmas cards with their phony messages. Anonymous Christmas cards. Luther KNEW where they were sent from based on their trackings. It was Frohmeyer. Halfway through their dinner, the doorbell rang.
Before long, Luther was mentally drifting away to the Island Princess along with all of its offerings. Soon after a buzzer off and his 22 minutes were up. After 3 sessions, Luther could finally see some improvement within his appearance. Just a matter of time before the office commented on his tan enviously. Luther soon caught himself dreading the drive home on Hemlock. Up until then, things were fine. EVERYONE around him continued their Christmas glee. He was surrounded as he parked into the garage; then sprinting into the house and locking the door behind him. When he walked in, Luther seen the last thing he wanted to see . . . .Christmas cards with their phony messages. Anonymous Christmas cards. Luther KNEW where they were sent from based on their tracking. It was Frohmeyer.
Halfway through their dinner, the doorbell rang. It was Fireman Kistler and Medic Kendall, both young and lean. It was another perfect example of proving Luther's. They were selling fruitcakes again. Money went for the toy drive. Their goal was $9,000; after raising almost 8 last previous year. They were hitting it harder. A well-dulled tag team with the annual spiel. World-famously made in Hermansburg, IN. Luther HATED fruitcakes. Luther stood his ground. He'll donate for the 4TH Of July cause for handicapped kids. $100.00 then. It took a few awkward moments to get them out the door. After returning to the door, everything was gone - Nora had cleared it ALL. His plate. Everything. Furiously Luther ate Peanut Butter and saltines for dinner.Just as Luther was planning another quick departure for another sprint to the mall, his business partner, Mr. Stanley, came out of nowhere and asked Luther about his attendance to the office Christmas dinner the following evening? Luther admitted that he was eliminating ALOT of things that year; no offense to anyone. He wasn't going to be attending. Luther had been a 6-yr-partner. No one would force him to do anything. He would drop a note to those disappointed of missing Luther. They were skipping the ENTIRE ordeal altogether. Saving the money for a cruise. Luther thought to himself that everyone was envious. At this point, crunch time was only a week to go. With holiday madness, they're all jealous as all hell. While some were reluctant to admit it, others were downright proud of Luther. As the day lettered on, it began to rain. With it too late to tan, Luther joyed at the view of a cold rain befalling the city. While taking in the nastiness of the weather, Luther headed downstairs and had a diet soda with Buff, the travel agent.
At the buzzer, Nora bolted from the BronzeMat and grabbed a towel. She was against sweating w/ a vengeance. She was wearing a very small red bikini, one that Luther was insistent upon. After looking at herself in the mirror and scoffed in such a skimpy outfit. After what she'd seen, she quickly dressed over the bikini. Even dressed, she still felt like a slut. Tight in the wrong places and uncomfortable when she walked. She couldn't wait to get it off and get home. After making it safe out of TansForever and rounded a corner, Nora came across the Reverend Doug Zabriskie, their minister, whom was Christmas shopping. Nora's bikini was beginning to cut off her circulation and shrinking. After politely hugging, he picked up the same irritating habit he always had; asking about their Sunday absences. He asked if she was okay? She was fine; just a little winded. Lying, she said to her minister that she'd done a lot of walking. He had wanted to chat for a moment on an empty bench on the railing of the concourse. The Reverend had this annoying habit of getting close to your face when he spoke. Nora sat squeamishly in discomfort. He'd heard rumors from a good source that Nora & Luther had decided not to observe Christmas. Nora confirmed. Father Zabriskie had NEVER heard of that before, as though the Kranks had discovered a new sin. Nora was suddenly afraid to move, and even then had the impression she was still falling out of her clothes. She began to sweat. Father Zabriskie wondered if she was okay? Nora admitted they were just passing on the foolishness of the holiday. Blair wasn't home, so they were taking a break. Looking around the atmosphere and what was going on, he seen it was crazy. Nora assured him they were both fine; just relaxing a bit. He inquired of them leaving for a cruise; wondering if they'd miss the midnight service? She couldn't make any problems.After saying goodbye, Nora waited until he was out of sight and finally mustered the courage to get to her feet. She shifted out of the mall, cursing Luther and his bikini.
Thanks to the neighbors, there by virtue of an anonymous tip, a reporter for The Gazette watched for a few minutes, then rang the bell. Luther answered. Expecting to be resounded with Christmas music, the reporter, Brian Brown, asked about the Skipping Christmas business. Luther gazed upon his neighborhood. It was either Frohmeyer or Walt Scheel. Luther wasn't talking. Nora went to shower as Luther went to the basement. Luther had suggested dinner at Angelo's, their favorite Italian restaurant. A good night to be away from Hemlock Drive. Nora had tanned for the 7TH time and Luther for the 10TH as they took in and admired the weathered looks; chuckling at everyone else's paleness. By now, everyone knew they were headed for the Islands. Nora looked at her watch and seen the 7:00P, Christmas parade launching from midtown in Veteran's Park. The parade looped through the West Side and came close to Hemlock. It was a festive evening. One that Luther & Nora wished to avoid this year. Hemlock would've been full with the same glee as in previous years. After Luther had fetched the Gazette, in the same darkness and was horrified w/ the front page of the Metro, the award winners were listed. In the CENTER of the front page was a large color photo of the Krank home; taken at a distance. Luther studied it to determine its angle while everyone else's houses were brightly decorated, the Krank home was dark. He could tell that the photo was taken from directly across the street. Walt Scheel had allowed the photographer to climb the roof of his 2-story house and shoot down with a wide lens. Under the photo was a caption headlined - ''SKIPPING CHRISTMAS!'' along with an article.
If Luther had a machine gun, he would've bolted outside and commenced spraying houses. Instead, he sat with a knot in his stomach and tried to convince himself that this situation too will pass. 4 Days left until departure day of the cruise. When trying to wake up with a newspaper, Luther took the article to Nora and seen that it was a horrible way to wake up. Luther informed Nora of how the picture came about. After what she read in the article, Nora couldn't wait and was ALL IN for the upcoming cruise.
That night, after dinner, Luther decided to take a walk. Nora had bought one of the first houses on Hemlock, damned if he be forced to hide it. He made it to the point to the intersection of Moss Point before Spike Frohmeyer caught up with him on his skateboard. Chatting up neighborly conversation. Spike was out on neighborhood watch. After small talk, Spike disappeared down Hemlock, no doubt racing home to tell his dad about Luther. He had stopped and looked at the SPECTACLE of decorations in front of the Trogdon's household. Quite a show. Luther had heard something a ladder falling in the garage next to the Trogden's. He had seen Walt Scheel wrestling with a strand of lights; catching Walt off-guard. Luther had straight-up asked him about the photographer from The Gazette? Walt had allowed them to climb up onto his roof to "get a view of the whole street". Luther was a little surprised at Walt. For 11 years, they'd been cordial on the surface, neither wanting an outright fight. But, Luther didn't like Walt for his snobbery and one-upmanship. And Walt didn't care for Luther due to suspecting that for years their salaries were almost equal. After Luther thought he got himself the Upper Hand, it was walking away with holiday pleasantries.
By this time, The Wiley & Buck Office Christmas party was something Luther hated; even in a good year. He may've drank a little, but never got drunk. He was embarrassed of his colleagues as they made fools of themselves. So, he stayed in his office as everyone acted foolish and tended to last minute details. After music started at 11:00A. Luther found his moment to leave. It was December 23RD and he wouldn't return until January 6TH with the offices back to normal. Good riddance. Afterward, Luther briskly drove to the mall for one last tanning session. Parking lot was full. So, he met Nora for lunch at a crowded bakery at a District. They'd actually made a reservation, something unheard of for the rest of the year. Nora had been crying after hearing of the news about Bev Scheel. Her cancer had returned for a 3RD time; spreading to her lungs, possibly kidneys and liver. Nora knew that this could possibly be Bev's last Christmas. Thinking of the heart he had, Luther seen they'd be leaving in 48 hours. The Kranks had dwelled on Bev for too long and cheered glasses at their departure with Nora managing a smile. Halfway through their salads, Luther wondered if Nora had any regrets? After THINKING of it, Nora REALIZED that Luther was ORIGINALLY right about the idea. As a mom, Nora began to wonder about Blair? Luther tried to reassure her of what Blair would/would've done being in the Peace Corps.
Luther was familiar as he paid the check, and once again found himself dreaming off the luxurious spreads of food in the Island Princess brochures. Nora had errands to run. Luther didn't. In their daily mail, there were 4 anonymous Frosty Christmas cards from elsewhere. Frohmeyer's bunch at the University traveled a lot, and Luther suspected this was their little game. He was restless and creative enough to mastermind such a prank. 31 cards at this point. Luther's intent was to save them. When they returned from the Caribbean, Luther planned to mail them directly to Vic Frohmeyer, anonymously, of course. They would arrive with all of his credit card bills. He put the Frosty cards in a drawer with the others. It was a rowdy night on Hemlock. Marauding bands of carolers were chanting for the Kranks to "Free Frosty". Handmade signs appeared, the first hammered into the ground by Spike Frohmeyer. He and his friends on bikes yelled and reveled in their pre-Christmas Eve exuberance. A real choir arrived to serenade the Kranks with Christmas carolers. The Kranks' home remained dark and quiet locked and secure. Nora was busy, gathering what she wanted to pack for the cruise, while Luther was in the basement trying to read.
Christmas Eve was now upon them as Luther and Nora slept until 7:00A when the phone rang with a teenager wanting Frosty. Re-affirming the Islands were calling them. The morning was overcast & cold, the chances of a white Christmas were 50/50. Luther certainly didn't want one. Nora would lapse into a spell of nostalgia if snow fell on Christmas Eve. She'd grown up in Connecticut, where, according to her, every Christmas was white. Luther didn't want the weather meddling with their flight tomorrow. He stood at the front door window, exactly where the tree would've been, sipped his coffee, gazed upon his lawn to make sure it had not been vandalized Skip Frohmeyer and his band of outlaws, and looked at the Scheel home across the street. In spite of all its lights/decorations, it was still a gloomy place. Walt and Bev were inside, having their coffee, sleepwalking through the motions, both knowing without saying that this could be their last Christmas, it didn't last long.
Next door at the Trogdon's, they followed the exact same customary Santa Claus Christmas traditions with 2ND verse, same as the first Winter Wonderland. Luther could see movement around their tree, and he could just see the Annual Trogden traditions begin. Otherwise, Hemlock Dr. was quiet and still, bracing itself for the festivities. Luther began grinning outside smugly at the world. On the morning of a typical Christmas Eve, Nora would bounce out of bed at sunrise with 2 long lists; one for her, and an even longer one for her. By 6P, the house, the decor, and everything would be spotlessly ready, and Luther & Nora would argue over last minute details. Total chaos. Then, around 7P, where they were both sick of the holidays, their guests would arrive. Their guests would already be over the excitement of the festivities from the frenzied ordeal of Christmas, but they would all push on to make the best of it.
Luther's smug smile spread wider on his face. He relished in the idea of solitude in his home and the prospect of a day with nothing to do but throw a few clothes in a suitcase and head for the beaches. Nora was gamely trying to ignore the memories of past Christmases. She worked hard at being excited for their trip. They stood out at the front door and gazed at the neighborhood. TRULY SEEING his neighbors all around. As the neighborhood approached, Luther had explained that they were not celebrating Christmas that year. NOTHING WHATSOEVER! Just dropping out of the holiday this year. Once Luther acquired his tasteful attire and dreaded right there on the spot that he would love it and wear it proudly among the Island Princess. Nora walked behind Luther and began hysterically laughing. Nora was to the point of having tears in her eyes. Her husband, an uptight tax accountant, tried his best to dress like a beach bum; and failed miserably. Just then, the phone rang. When Luther & Nora stopped dancing and answered the second ring; maybe the 3RD. For which they were slowly walking towards it. Everything was moving at a snail's pace upon the phone ringing.
For some reason, the receiver felt heavier. To their own surprise, the voice on the other end was Blair's. Her words were so crisp and clear. Luther was still trying to register with the words of Blair being in Miami. Nora quickly shuffled her way to Luther's side. They were beaming of hearing of Blair's plans of coming home. With a fiancee. Nora's jaw unlocked; her mouth full wide open.
Luther and Nora find out that this kid/their daughter's fiance's name was Enrique. Then, at full volume, Luther began to wonder . . . What fiance? Nora began to think; panically, and she pushed the Speaker button on the phone as Blair's words bellowed throughout the living room. Blair's finance is a Perusian doctor that she met right after her arrival in Peru. She and Enrique fell in love at first sight and within a week, they decided to get married. Enrique had never been to the States and was completely excited. Blair told Enrique of her holiday plans back home with the Krank family in the States. From the tree, to the Frosty and decorations, the Christmas party. . .everything. Blair wondered of the weather where her parents were. Enrique had never seen a White Christmas. But, Luther could sense a cold storm a-coming.
As if Luther & Nora had a choice to say NO and sent Blair on a plane back to Peru, Blair & Enrique were om the run flying from Atlanta to home. Wondering if her parents can meet them at the airport? Nora continued the panicky lie with agreeing to pick them up. As Blair gushed on about Enrique, Luther sat on the edge of he and Nora's sofa with his face in his palms. He groaned wondering WHY did Nora insist on having that party? She continued her insistence that they WERE having that party. Nora was literally planning & playing by ear. She had no idea who was coming and what they were certain a party was on the rise.
So, Nora then instructed Luther to rush all of their monthly traditions they've ignored for their trip to be rushed and done quickly upon Blair's arrival. The first thing Luther was to do was put up Frosty from the basement to the top of the roof. After a long pause, and the beating sound of his heart, Luther realized that Gone was the cruise and his vacation dreams. How could one phone call change so much?
Luther slowly made his way to the kitchen, where Nora was already in preparation. Luther, at a loss, wondering where things have gone awry. They had to face facts: Blair was due home in less than 7 hours. All that they had time to get the house for a party. Nora hadn't thought that far ahead. She instructed Luther to change clothes. They wondered of a future with their new-to-be son-in-law. They figured they'd get to that point after they survived Christmas.
Luther darted quickly out of the house. Leaving was easy. Returnng would be a bitch. Traffic would be at its thickest as Luther sat and stewed, fumed and cursed. As Luther darted his ass behind a Kroger lot where the Boy Scout Jamboree sold trees. Business was winding down for the year when Luther arrived. As the scoutmaster began his speech, Luther seen what was around and had very little options to work with. A spined dwarf of a brush with very little left to stand. Obvious reasons spoke as to why it was passed up in sales. The handmade sign posted at its first the highest at the beginning of the season, but dwindled down as the season progressed further. From $75 at its highest to $15. But, with the levity of what Luther had done throughout the season, the owner of the tree ranch blackmailed the situation. Luther was in and gouged out the original price of $75 out of his own desperation and giving in. Luther handed over the money and the Boy Scouts began to help Luther load his "purchase" as Luther darted his ass home.
Luther could hear the sound of calendars snickering at his and the tree's situation on his way home. As he neared Hemlock, Luther noticed his neighbor's homes. When he reached his house, due to the inclimate weather, what Luther had originally bought dwindled faster due to the winds leaving him with only a twig to carry. After scanning his surroundings, Luther began to quickly throw the ruminants into the atmosphere where no one could see it. Thankfully, Nora had already left. Luther hauled into the house and hauled ass to the attic. What would take days, they had but hours to complete.
After Luther finished that gig, Nora left him a list of people to call. Luther gritted his truth and pleaded through a quick narrative, then gave the invitation to those he was instructed. As Luther was unable to get anybody. he seen his neighbor, Trogden. Wes, and his family were packing their car onto their way to depart for their own holiday. Hurriedly, Luther and Trogden met around Wes' van. After seasonal greetings, Luther plead his case and begged to borrow Wes' tree. Luther swore to return it upon their way home.
Considering his upfront situation at hand, Luther begged to use Trogden's tree. He was DEAD SERIOUS! Wes lent Luther a spare house key on the contingency that if anything was broken/damaged. . .the aftermath would be on both of their asses. Don't tell my wife, Trish, exclaimed Wes. Luther desperately pleaded for which they shook hands on an agreement. Luther had almost made it home free where Spike Frohmeyer peeled into his driveway. Luther caught up to him and seen it as an opportunity. He needed an ally and seen dues to be paid for neighborhood torture. Using it to Luther's advantage for Spike's advantage, for which Luther explained the situation. Spike gave in and began to return payment.
Luther's second call was to old friends from church who lived an hour away. After trying whomever he could, Nora called with her voice shaking while they each panickly gave one another an update. Next place to go on their agenda was to invite the neighbors since their friend/family list was already occupied. Luther was completely against it iniviting the neighbors. At this point, they've heard no word from Blair. Spike used a Radio Flyer wagon to help Luther transport Trogdon's tree from Point A to Point B to Luther's. They were both in a position to be working on what they had.
Spike was on the ladder when Luther heard a car in the drive. It was Nora. Quick thinking Luther to believe thar Spike's complicity in the tree should be kept a secret/ Spike had to leave and get out fast! to avoid trouble. As Luther was helping Spike down the latter, he handed Spike a $20 before Spike's departure. When Nora ran into the kitchen, she commanded Luther to unload the car. Her nerves were shot as she was ready to snap!
After Nora seen the state of Luther's job on the tree, she could take-it-or-leave it. Trogden used a strand of lights and wrapped them down the trunk of the tree. Luther & Spike began to jimmy-rig their way into the fortitude of a tree. Considering the situation at hand with the tree, now was not the time to get persnickety about the state of it. Now they were to unload the car with loads of grocery bags to bring in and work with what they had.
There were more important things to worry about. Luther's accountant wanted a tally of the damage, but he thought better of it. He was in the middle of a financial disaster and couldn't do a thing to stop the bleeding. Luther began to unwrap the trout. No matter what Luther did, he seen that Nora had bought and begun working on the trout. It was either trout or frozen pizza for their guests and party. As Nora began her next shopping quest, she ran into people that she didn't know that knew her and began inviting them to their last-minute party. Next, was the quest to get Frosty on their roof; afterward Luther was instructed to go through the phone directory and invite everyone last minute. Nora began to lean hard on Father Zabriskie who agreed to make an appearance. Nora, in a flurry, began to hit the wine stores.
Next thing Luther knew, he was receiving phone calls from people declining the Kranks invitation due to such short notice. He wanted to stick his head in the oven instead. When given short notice, not all will be available. As they continued to make calls, the numbers continued to dwindle with their own plans for the holidays. 3 Krnaks, plus Enrique and the Reverand and Mrs. Zabriskie. Luther was more to the alcohol the more trouble lingered. Spike Frohmeyer had reported all he had seen/heard to his dad after being prodded by him. Spilling his guts about everything. Things were becoming even more tense. Nora had a case of wine in her shopping cart; 6 bottles of red and 6 bottles of white... though she wasn't sure why she was. Who was going to drink all of this? Nora did it on purpose; doing it on purpose to burn Luther's ass when he got the bill. A clerk in the store was rushing to finish everyone out so he could close out.
3 people were ahead of Nora, one behind her. The cashier was getting everyone through this line as Nora's phone rang when she ran into Father Zabriskie in the midst of her own chaos, as he went on a long tirade of nonsense that was bothersome in the short timeframe. She had to get her list accomplished in different directions. Nora tried to keep her holiday composure in the midst of her rush. She wanted to curse and cry at the same time. They signed off with proper holiday greetings farewell as Nora bit her quivering lip. Nora paid for the wine, then hauled ass to her car, bitching about Luther every step of the way. Hauling her ass to Kroger's, fought her way through a mob entrance, in search of caramels. Nora had called Luther....whom didn't answer.
They ended up meeting in the front of the peanut butter aisle, both seeing each other simultaneously. Nora recognized the shock of red hair, the orange-and-gray beard, and the little, black round eyeglasses; but couldn't recognize the name. He greeted Nora with holiday greetings immediately. In the heap of the holiday rush, Nora didn't know who it was in a mind blank. They were both out in a mad dash for last minute items. The man was carrying a basket with nothing in it. Nora got the feeling that this man wasn't doing anything for the holidays and that this man was probably lonely with no sense of companionship.
In small talk, this man knew of the get together at the Krank home. Filling him in on the details once everyone in town knew Blair, and the fact that Nora felt backed into a guilty corner, she instinctively invited him on a drop-by invitation. Thinking once he arrived, people would surely know who he was; maybe his name would bring a flashback to someone. Just throwing out a timeline for this guy to be there for the party in the 7P hour. Needing a watch, Nora had to finish her rush to get things ready, This man already knew the address, 1478 Hemlock St. Who the hell was this guy was she was talking to? After Nora left, she prayed this guy would spring some sort of recollection. After she found the necessities she ventured for, Nora headed for the express lane that stretched to frozen foods. Nora fell in with the rest of the group of shoppers, barely able to see the cashier and felt completely trapped in a long line at the store.
Darkness began to hit fast at 5:30P, and in the frenzy of the moment, Luther had tucked Frosty deep in the darkness of the basement. Luther knew Frosty wouldn't work, but wasn't in the rational thought of mind. He spent a few minutes planning it. As an attack from the rearview was mandatory, there was NO WAY Luther would have the neighbors -especially Frohmeyer see him eating his words in action. Luther wrestled the HEAVY Frosty; as he cursed the ornament every step of the way as it made its way to the patio. He hauled the ladder from the storage shed into the backyard. So far, Luther hadn't been seen or at least didn't think he'd have been as he met a cold & wet roof. With the rope attached to his waist, Luther crawled upward & terrified over the asphalt until he reached the precipice. He peeked out of the corner of the roof. As he peered down below - the Scheels were directly in front of him. . .way down there!
Luther looped the rope and climbed the chimney back/forth until he hit a patch of ice and slid 2 feet. Catching himself as he caught his breath as Luther looked down in terror. The outward aspect of stupidity was upon them as it was becoming clear what Luther was doing at his age. The most horrifying trick of all was to remount the ladder, which Luther was able to do - until his fingers slipped over the frozen gutters and down he went. Back on the ground, Luther took a deep breath and kind of basked in surviving the fall from the top.
It was 4:45p. Blair and her brand-new fiance were due to land in 1hr 15 mins. The drive to the airport took 20 minutes - alone - including the hustle & bustle of travel. Luther wanted to give up and start drinking. But, he pulled the rope tight around the chimney, and started Frosty upward. Luther edged his way UP working with the HEAVY snowman; that was 40 LBS over Luther. Slowly, they made their way up, side-by-side Luther made his way up with Frosty on his back. With just a hint of darkness, but no real relief from the dark. As Luther reached the crowning point, he paused for a moment, just before he reached the summit, and tried to convince himself that he didn't care about naysay neighbors. Luther had clutched the rope that held Frosty, resting on the snowman's back as he was profusively freezing. All the pain of this holiday would be worth it. . .Blair would be ready. Enrique would see a real authentic American Christmas. Nora will hopefully be placated. Then, the thought of the Island Princess cruise was slipping away. So close...yet, so far. Luther felt like throwing up.
Walt Scheel had been neighbor-gawking outside his window as Bev was finishing up a pie. Out of habit, he looked out of his window to observe the Krank house. At first, he saw nothing, then . . .peeking over the roof to the chimney next door, was Luther. Then, slowly, Walt saw Frosty's black hat, then his face. . .as Walt yelled in excitement for his wife, Bev's. attention. Luther dragged that Frosty up, looking around as quietly as he could and tugged as he was succeeding. Luther's actions were beginning to be seen by neighborhood gawkers. Walt was laughing too hard to say anything, as he began calling other neighbors. When Frosty was in FULL view, Luther tried to swing him in the front of the chimney to proper posting position stand-post. Just like last year . . .should be no different this time.
Vic Frohmeyer ran to his basement, where his children were watching a movie. Alerting his own children of Luther's actions concerning Frosty. They bolted their way out of that basement to look! With Frosty in place but not attached, and with Luther struggling to remove the ropes/wires to secure the canvas band around the chimney, as he was about a dangerous move of the entire operation; voices rang below. When Luther turned to see who was watching the action, he inadvertently fell over, with Frosty following right to the ground and SMASHING TO PIECES! Frosty tipped over and was gone!, careening down the front of the roof with nothing to hold him back - with Luther trailing behind it, unfortunately Luther fell into the entanglement as well. Sliding headfirst down the roof loud enough for neighbors, Walt & Bev, to hear! Apparently, there was more ice on the roof than the ground.
As Luther found the remains of Frosty as he was hanging, the sharp pain of his fall stopped - only for the pain of his ankles/blood flow from the rope to begin. Jerking Luther around with no doubt but saving his life. Watching Luther in this stance with his actions was more than Walt Scheel could stand. Bev watched in horror, as she wanted Walt to do something. She told Walt to Shut Up! and DO SOMETHING, as Luther was hanging and spinning over the concrete, his feet not far from the gutter. Swinging and spinning helplessly above the driveway. After a few twists/turns, the cord tightly braided together as the twisting was becoming nauseating. Walt punchedly dialed 9-1-1, and reported the incident, so as to send the rescue immediately! Then, he ran out of the house to where the Frohmeyer kids were gathered around Luther. Vic Frohmeyer ran from 2 houses down, and the ENTIRE neighborhood came flooding from their homes. All of the children were in mourning of the demise of said Frosty. Luther thought Poor Frosty, my ass.
The nylon rope was cutting off the circulation to Luther's ankles. He was still 8ft off the ground, and a fall would be disastrous. As Luther tried to collect his wits, he heard Frohmeyer's big mouth. In this action's sequence, Luther was begging to be shot in humiliation. He began rotating again, slightly, very slowly to the wind's direction. He began pivoting back to the street with his neighbors, the last people Luther wanted to see! People began watching as Luther watched in embarrassment. Soon, the cord and rope popped somewhere, and then gave way, with Luther feeling another lean before coming to a complete stop. Frohmeyer was taking charge in order of chaos. As help was coming along the way, Luther was aware of the actors surrounding him. Hanging there, waiting for death, waiting for the rope to slip then completely gave way and sent Luther hating Christmas with a renowned passion. All because of the holiday itself.
Luther hated his neighbors too! ALL of them despite their age. They gathered in his driveway by the dozens now. Luther could see/hear them coming, as he slowly rotated. The cord and the rope popped somewhere above him, then gave way, and Luther fell another 6 inches before he was jerked to another stop. The crowd gasped, some of them wanted to cheer. Frohmeyer was barking orders in his usual fashion. Luther seen that his life was in their hands. It was difficult to talk with his feet hanging above him. Gravity was blood-rushing to his head, and it was pounding. Frohmeyer hesitated. They did NOT have a plan. Luther couldn't see the group of men there to help break his fall - anything Luther heard was someone - Nora. Then, he heard sirens.
The crowd parted ways to let the ambulance through. As the medical crew were working, Nora wondered what Luther was doing?, as she yelled rushing through the crowd. The medical crew crawled into the ambulance and checked out Luther; doing his vitals, then his feet became numb and Luther wouldn't stand. He was shivering, so medical personnel draped 2 blankets over him. As he sat in the ambulance, overlooking the gawking crowd reveling in Luther's humiliation, Luther could only feel relief. Due to the incident at hand, Luther was lucky to be conscious. Let the naysayers stare. Let them gawk. Luther's physical state ached too much to care.
Nora was there to inspect Luther. She recognized the neighborhood selling fruitcakes for the holiday fundraiser. Nora was grateful for their help. After an overall check up, nothing was broken, but, Luther felt like everything was. A police car had arrived in a rush and packed in the street, with flashing lights. The neighbors eased their way in for support. Spike was there in the middle of it. As Luther was easing his wounds, all of the neighborhood peered in for a better view. When Officer Salerno got the gist of the story, he reiterated Luther/Nora's actions and asked what was going on. First, borrowing a tree. Now, this. Everyone was in participation wanting. . .what are the Kranks up to?
Luther looked at Nora, wanting her to explain. That went and fell on Him. Out with him it came - Blair's coming home, as he spouted while rubbing his left ankle. Frohmeyer repeated the news loudly to the awaiting crowd. Regardless of how they felt about Luther, the neighbors loved Blair. She was a daughter to everyone. They watched her grow up, sent her off to college and waited for her to come back each summer. For most of the neighborhood kids, Blair had been like a big sister. Luther had also announced that Blair would be bringing home her new fiance, to the onlookers.
Neighbors who KNEW the Kranks, elaborated more of Luther's news to those who didn't know or couldn't hear due to the crowd. Explaining the whereabouts to the unknown. How Blair left for Peru and is on her way home to the neighbors. Blair had called her parents around 11A that very morning with a whimsical surprise for Christmas. Neighbors began to fill in the blanks of the unsaid. They began inching closer to Frohmeyer, analyzing the situation. NOW, what time did Blair's plane land stateside; headed for home. Her plane lands at 6P.
People began to sychronize their watches, as Luther tended to the soreness of his ankle. Vic Frohmeyer looked into the faces of their neighbors and began to delegate tasks with a game plan in mind. They were about to have a party at the Kranks. A Christmas homecoming for Blair. Drop what you're doing and pitch in. Did Nora have a turkey? No - she had smoked trout. All she could find in a quick pinch fast notice. The wives on the block were in shock to hear that. So, who has a turkey the Kranks could have?
There were 2 in the oven ready to go. Frohmeyer instructed a team to go to out-of-town neighbors homes to get their Frosty. Get some lights and string them alongside Luther's boxwoods. Everyone was instructed to go home, change their clothes, grab whatever extra foods they had laying around and return to the Krank home in 30 minutes. Frohmeyer instructed Salerno and his partner to go to the airport. . . why? Blair will need a ride home from the airport. At first, they weren't sure it was within their jurisdiction. . .until Frohmeyer reminded them of his own neighborly ties with their boss, the Fire Chief. And with that, they headed to their cars. The neighbors and everyone went to their assigned destinations per Frohmeyer's instructions - Quickly! All with a purpose!
Nora looked at Luther with tears in her eyes. Luther's emotions would've shown if his ankles weren't so raw. Frohmeyer asked about the guest list. Nora was puzzled with no answer. Luther figured no one would show up. People had already called and canceled. With Luther's news of cancelling Christmas before, Luther was beginning to see what his actions were before they were costing him now. The entire street may be invited; but they needed more people for the party. Blair would love a crowd. The problem is finding and getting one. Carolers would be hard to find. Neighbors began assisting Luther into the house. He was walking solo as he made the entrance inside. When they were alone in the living room with the Trogden's tree, Luther & Nora shared a few moments of peace. They talked about Blair. Talking in vein to analyze the prospect of a fiancee, then a groom, then a son-in-law. Nora & Luther were profoundly touched beyond words by the unity of their neighbors. No words were mentioned on the cruise. Nora wished she had a camera to capture this beautiful moment as she walked away.
Blair was just a little miffed that her parents weren't waiting for her at the arrival gate. It was short notice, and the airport was crowded, and the party was busy. She said nothing as to her own whereabouts in travel, somehow weaving gracefully through the airport mob attached at the hip. There was no one there to greet them at baggage claim either. As they seen their luggage toward the exit, Blair saw 2 policemen holding a handwritten sign designated for Blair & Enrique (spelled incorrectly with Enrike). Blair called to them, and they snapped into action, scooping up the luggage and leading them through the crowd. Officer Salino explained there was a police escort designated for Blair & Enrique. Welcome Home!
The party was in the final stages of being ready, as the officers put Blair & Enrique's luggage in the truck, with a second police car covering the first. As a South American, Enrique was a little hesitant to be in the back of a police car. He got a view of the area around him, and then his doubts from the past disappeared once he saw Blair. He would've followed her everywhere. With lights flashing, they headed to get Blair & Enrique home.
Amongst the chaos, Blair calmed Enrique by informing him that this craziness happens all the time, (as Blair was lying through her teeth). The officers were driving furiously with a smile at the thoughts of what Luther was/had been up to! But, they wouldn't say a word. Blair would never know the truth behind the behind-the-scenes of her absence, according to Vic Frohmeyer, who'd gotten through to the Mayor and the Fire Chief. As they worked through the suburbs, the traffic thinned and a light snow began.
Snow was calling for 4". Enrique had been traveling through Peru. In the capital, Lima. Blair was determined to be hyper-protective of her fiance and his homeland, so she rushed in to make conversation with the officers white-knuckling through the snow with police assistance along the way. Spike Frohmeyer was still on the lookout. He flashed on his Boy Scout sign light, and the stage was set. Luther limped pitifully into the bathroom as Nora was putting the finishing touches on her face. For 20 minutes, Nora was trying to hide any trace of the trip. But, it wasn't working though. Luther thought he looked emaciated; like his mother, who had passed away 15 years prior.
Luther was in too much pain to worry about his tan. At Nora's suggestion, he wore a black cardigan that made him look similar to a Mafia lieutenant with a black turtleneck and dark gray slacks. Nora thought that the darker the clothes, the lighter their skin looked to hide the cruise evidence. The turtleneck had been a gift for Luther's birthday. Nora consistently reminded him that Blair was NEVER to know about the cruise. The tan was from getting more Vitamin D - per doctor's order's. They were tan from unseasonably warm weather and being outside a lot. Nora disagreed with Luther's lie and Blair's would see right through it. After brushing him off with powder trailing behind her, Luther limped down the hall, with his new plastic cane, toward the living room crowd. Here they come.
Due to a malfunctioning error, one of the neighbors was holding Frosty in place atop of Luther's roof, in the snow, in the cold, when he saw the green flashing light at the end of the street. From their point of view, they watched with a measure of neighborhood pride, and a measure of frustration due to his own situation thanks to Luther. A large neighborhood choir began assembling next to the driveway and carolers all awaited eagerly for Blair's arrival with her mysterious fiance. When the police cars arrive in front of the Krank home, cheers a-rang loudly for Blair from the love of the neighborhood. What a crowd.
Firetrucks & ambulances were ready on-cue per assignment with flashing lights to welcome Blair home. When the police cars arrived atop the driveway, Vic Frohmeyer was the first to open the door to loudly welcome Blair home. She & Enrique were soon on the front lawn, surrounded by dozens of neighbors while the crowd gleefully cheered her welcome. Blair introduced Enrique, who seemed startled by the reception. They made their way to/fro working the room. At Nora's request, firemen & cops gathered around in front of the tree trying to block the tree in front of Blair as much as possible. Luther & Nora waited anxiously in their bedroom for a private reunion with their daughter, and a quiet more proper introduction to Enrique.
Luther mumbled the parental questions. . What if we don't like him and vice versa? as the party continued down the hall. Nora reminded him that they raised a smart girl, as she/herself applied her touch-up. They just met. It could be love at first sight. Nah,. . . .that's impossible. But, it did take 3 years for Nora to see Luther's potentialiality. The door opened. And there was Blair. . .walking in. Nora & Luther both took a quick look at who Enrique was. They hugged and greeted their daughter as if she'd been gone for years, with great relief, met their future son-in-law. The first thing Blair noticed was the appearance how her parents looked. Nora was wearing a bulky Christmas sweater, which made Nora look heavier. Luther looked like the aging gigolo. They responded by telling her the difference came from watching their weight, as Luther was pumping Enrique's hand. But, Nora was focusing Blair's attention to the party at hand to derive them from the conversation. Can't keep the party waiting, as Luther lead the way. As they began basking in the holiday, Nora took prideful love in from her son-in-law.
The living room was packed with people. Blair noticed an unusual, odd array of guests, not that it mattered. Most of them were neighbors. And she couldn't figure out why the police and firemen were invited. There were some gifts for Enrique, which were opened at the center of the room. The Police Benevolent Association gave Enrique a calendar. Nora noticed that Enrique's English was perfect. Come to find out that he was educated in London. Enrique was handsome, educated abroad and a doctor. He had done met Blair in Lima, during his orientation.
When the gifts were done, Luther announced dinner. The crowd moved to the kitchen, where the table was covered with Hemlock St. donations, the food looked rearranged and originated in its space & festive. Even the smoked trout looked festive to eat, done by the best chef in town. The carolers moved from the frozen cold into a heavily packed inside. They heard the news about dinner, and moved inside. The man with the orange/gray beard Nora met at Kroger's appeared out-of-nowhere but apparently knew everyone. Nora welcomed him and watched him carefully, and finally heard him introduce himself as Marty, someone with an ACTUAL name. While talking with Enrique, they launched into their own conversation - in Spanish no less.
Still, no one could figure out who Marty was. Kind of he knew everyone and no one knew him vibe. After everyone had eaten, they dished back into the living room, where a fire was roaring. Marty stepped forward with a guitar as Enrique joined in for both of them to regale everyone with Holiday carols in Spanish. Marty attached the guitar with a vengence, and the duo began in harmony. The words, themselves, were unknown to the crowd. But, the sentiment was there for Christmas bringing joy and peace. Nora was surprised at her new son-in-law's singing voice. Between songs, Marty detailed his past life in Peru, and the singing brought him nostalgia for these times. Luther leaned on the mantel, shifting his weight, smiling gamely though he'd rather chosen the alternative. He looked down at the faces, all of them entranced in the music. Everyone was there in attendance. . .except for Walt & Bev Scheel.
After the cards and boisterous applause for the duet, Luther slipped unnoticed from the kitchen into their garage. Dressed in their proper attire, Luther ached outside with a large envelope in his left hand. The snow was still light, but the ground was covered. As he was outside, Luther gazed inside with an outside view. He seen a packed house. A tree that improved with distance. Above it all was a borrowed Frosty. Hemlock was quiet. The fire truck and ambulance were gone, thankfully. Luther looked around and NOT a single person moved about. Everyone was in the house. The Scheel home was well lit on the outside, but dark inside. Luther had seen the difference between the households. One was full of holiday cheer, while the other seemed lonely and lonesome. He closed his eyes and ventured their direction.
Walt Scheel had answered the door. With warm and pleasant greetings, Luther greeted him with sincerity. While he was missing his party, Luther asked to come in. He slipped into the foyer, where he parked himself onto a mat. Something was baking in the kitchen, and Luther saw that as a sign. Bev was having a rather good day. The Scheels began to hand over to the Kranks party, but the weather overhaul prevented their attendance. They asked about the fiance and holiday bonding. Bev had entered from the dining room with a warm holiday greetings. Rumor had it that her doctor had given Bev a 6-month diagnosis to live. Not to dwell on that subject. . .
Luther got down to it and being honest about their situation. Blair's come home. So, we're not taking the cruise. Luther offered the pre-paid trip to the Scheel's on behalf of him and Nora. He gently waved the envelope in their direction as an offering. Their reaction was delayed as glances were exchanged with the temptations there on-site. They were stunned and couldn't speak. So, Luther moved ahead with the Scheel's newfound pre-planned arrangements. Everything was already scheduled. Luther re-arranged everything to the Scheel's name. 10 Days in the Caribbean, beaches, islands, the works. . . A dream vacation. Walt shook his head no, but slightly. Bev's eyes were misty. Neither one could muster a word to say, with little conviction. They didn't feel it was appropriate to take such a gesture.
The thing is: Luther did not purchase any travel insurance. So, if no one went, the entire package goes to waste. Bev looked to Walt endearingly, and when Luther caught that, it was crazy. Why not go? The Scheel's were trying their damndest to find an excuse out of a great opportunity and Luther KNEW it. What about their feline cat was a problem to solve?
Despite their bitterness between them, Luther agreed to keep their cat for them to go. He knew they were just finding excuses out of a gloriously wonderful opportunity. A genuine, heartfelt no-strings attached offering for 2 selfless people in the neighborhood. The goodbyes took longer than their hellos. When Luther hugged Bev, she was unbelievably grateful for this unbeliveable generousity they could've used at this time in their lives with what they had going on health-wise. The tears were halfway down their cheeks in deep appreciation. Old tough-as-nails Walt was just as grateful.
On the front steps, during their last handshake, Walt wanted 1 more thing from Luther. To make sure nothing was to change at all between Luther & Walt's neighborly relationship. Luther wouldn't even dream of nothing but that as is. When the Scheel's were once again in their homes, Luther headed home.
Unburdened by the thick envelope now, shedding himself of self-indulgence contained therein, his steps were a little quicker. Filled with the satisfaction of making the perfect gift, Luther walked straight with his head held high - proudly with a limp. As he returned home, the party showed little signs of breaking up. Standing there at the edge of the street, Luther paused to count his blessings. Blair was home, and she'd brought home a very nice, handsome polite young man who was crazy about her. And who, at that moment, was very much in charge of the party along with Marty What's his name. Luther was lucky enough to be standing. Counting his blessings. Through everything the Krank family went through, they sure were lucky. Indeed,
Blessed with friends and neighbors, who would sacrifice anything else but to be with family? As he looked up onto the roof, mid-thought, he saw Frosty watching him. Through the flurries, Luther thought he caught a wink from the snowman. Starved, Luther suddenly craved smoked trout. He began trekking through the snow. . . as he quietly spoke to himself; Skipping Christmas, What a ridiculous idea. Maybe next year.
In 2004, a Blockbuster Holiday Hit was made based on celebration of this book aptly titled Christmas With The Kranks with Tim Allen as Luther Krank. Jamie Lee Curtis as Nora. Julie Gonzalo as Blair. M. Emmet Walsh as Walt Scheel. Elizabeth Franz as Bev. and Dan Akroyd as Vic Frohmeyer..
No comments:
Post a Comment