More Than A Housewife: Talent. Purpose. Direction & Drive

To mark the 20TH anniversary of a franchise that began with a beloved ORIGINAL, this is the TRUE STORY beginning of a woman who started it ALL! This is the REAL LIFE story from The OG Of The OC, herself, Victoria "Vicki" Lynn Gunvalson.  

Many people swear they don't watch "REALity" TV, yet people are always amazed at how much people know about the original Housewives, and which ones they gravitate toward or are repulsed by. Vicki originally began starting out with the idea of writing a book like every other Housewife of the Bravoverse franchise. But this book is different - completely/entirely. First off, this book was written by the ORIGINAL; but the overall objective is to help empower people that were searching for a different direction in life. Vicki was able to keep her life together through some very difficult times. Empowering with an open mind, and between the possibilities. Don't think/see it as impossible. It's I'm Possible. - Vicki

Growing up in a house with the majority of women, you'd think she would've been used to the hormonal influx of attitudes, but nothing can prepare you for the wretchedness of women living in true high society under the guise they're self-made. 

Many people swear they don't watch "Reality TV", yet people are amazed at how much people know about the original Housewives and which ones they gravitate toward or are repulsed by. Vicki originally began starting out with the idea of writing a book like every other Housewife of the Bravoverse franchise. But this is different - completely/entirely. First off, this book was written by the ORIGINAL; but the overall objective is help empower people that were searching for a different direction in life. Vicki was able to keep her life together through some very difficult times. Empowering with an open mind, and between the possibilities. Don't think/see it as impossible. I'm Possible. Growing up in a house with the majority of women, you'd think Vicki would've been used to the hormonal influx of attitudes, but nothing can prepare you for the wretchedness of women living in true high society under the guise they're self-made.

Vicki came from a solid family life and never knew such cruelty existed. Seeing the show into what it's become/turned into with younger generations, Vicki has to remind herself on a daily basis on the abnornality of it; yet the emotions find their way to the surface. Someone told Vicki that our emotions come from our past. We recognize an earlier moment in our lives and if it's truly valued in emotion, we associate it with the moment at hand and emotionally re-live it. The only way to evolve is to learn and grow from it. Thinking back, Vicki truly cherishes and appreciates the childhood she had. They lived big dreams and were taught to make things happen. Being one of 5 kids, Vicki was taught to believe in great things. Her father, William Steinmetz, bestowed a legacy that Vicki adhered to through the strength of his example. It became embedded in her own subconscious. Work. Do something.  

Victoria Lynn

Victoria "Vicki" Lynn was born on March 27, 1962. 13 months later, her sister, Lisa was born. 4 years after that, her baby brother, Billy was born. Out of all of her siblings, Vicki and Billy remained the closest, along with her sister, Lisa, sharing a psychic closeness of sibling telepathy. As well as the same line of work. When she was just 5-yrs-old, Vicki was diagnosed with a non-cancerous cholesteatoma, a very rare condition that begins to eat the 3 small bones located in the middle ear. When she underwent her first operation, Vicki remembers her mother thinking the worst. Every few years since, she would have to go in for operative maintenance to keep things at bay. As every surgery approached, Vicki was fearful, as any child would be, due to the outcome results.

Coming home from the hospital the first time with bandages wrapped around her head, despite the preferential treatment, Vicki's siblings never minded picking up the slack. Due to the age gap, the twins would look out for their baby sister. A kindness instilled from their father through them. Outside of Billy, Vicki was also closest to her sister, Lisa. They knew everything about each other. Being close in age, they had the same age group of social circles, which in of itself was a comfort. They always had each other's back(s). At one point in high school, their dad set a curfew. Vicki and Lisa were able to be in sync and cover for one another. But, being kids, they never realized their dad was a miles ahead of them and had THAT particular parental LOOK!       

If they weren't so terrified of THE LOOK, Vicki and Lisa would've walked all over their mother if it wasn't for their father. They crossed THE LOOK at their peril. By the time Vicki was in 8th grade, her father's business had grown so large and profitable, they upgraded their living situation to spread out. Although Vicki & Lisa shared a room, they weren't so cramped. Many more memories throughout their teen years and elevation came to life in their home. Every time Vicki visited her family, she makes it a point to drive down memory lane - literally.

Vicki's father had one of the largest accosted and drywall construction companies in Chicago and, at one point, had about 200 people on payroll. Through construction and asbestos removal, the business provided an even more prosperous lifestyle. Another family activity was to travel and camp. Their father would build a summer trip by unloading a BIG paper map and each one in the family picked a place to visit. Life is for living and it's just what they did. When times were good, they were great. When their father could afford to be generous, he truly took care of his family/friends. Thinking back on good times, Vicki was always happiest whether she had a crush or was truly involved with a guy. In 8TH grade, Vicki had a crush on a guy, whom she sat next to on the bus, but he was interested in her friend. When Vicki got in high school, things took a turn for the better. Her interest in boys grew stronger and in her freshman year, Vicki had her first serious long-term relationship. She began to see if one of the popular boys whose locker was right next to hers. They began dating almost immediately and their relationship was the best. It was so good their parents basked in their joy.

Despite their relationship, Vicki blossomed in more ways than one. She fell in love and was willing to go the distance. She was terrified through word-of-mouth stories she heard. But, Vicki was very lucky to not have had to experience of ladies of love. He was very respectful and the time was very special, Victoria was truly very lucky. Most of her friendships in that time era were in long-term committed relationships and everyone knew the dish/dirt on everyone. The who, when, what, why & where. During her senior year, Vicki and her alongside friends would find a way to buy alcohol, though they never drank a lot or anywhere in the vicinity of it. Pizza with beer at football games. Other substances were not an option. Not for Vicki or their social circle.  

It was almost as if Vicki and her boyfriend were the parental(s) in their friend circle. They never took on the teenage antics of their peers. Even though no one knew how far Vicki's relationship with her new beau and their antics had gone, it was a remarkable moment in time. In her junior year, he began to act differently and things began to change. He was wanting to break up and become independent from her and break up to see other people. Thus began the start of Victoria's fear of being alone and coping with being alone in a relationship with herself. 

Vicki wound up going to dances stag to check out her former beau and the environment around her. They would stay in touch but never be a "courting" item again. He had wound up moving away to college whilst she stayed home. Eventually, their lives took totally different directions and they lost contact. Times had come to fruition for them to reconnect; but it was truly over. Although tempting . . . it was over.   

School, for Vicki, was more of a social gab fest. Although she tried her damndest in sports, Vicki had 2 left feet. But, it did put her "in/out with the crowd". But, where she faltered, she excelled at with track where she kicked ass in hurdles despite having 2 left feet. When it came to school work, her worst subjects were History & Government. She wasn't interested in learning of PAST American History; but more focused on the future's headings/the present. She never took the mentaltude to see the then/now of TODAY'S history.

If there were any subjects Victoria did enjoy, she excelled in being a MATH girl. Problem solving was her biggest asset; so it worked out great for her professionally. It wasn't the numbers, but more of the task at hand. A gift she never really told anyone. Vicki grew up in an era where "women worked in the kitchen whilst the men worked". When Vicki did graduate and high school ended, she wasn't sure of what she TRULY wanted to do. Her parents never encouraged college, except only to Billy. She had become truly lost. She found herself continuing to work and bag groceries at the Jewel Grocery Store; paying for her own car and going to Harper Jr. College for 6 months. After analyzing her position and didn't see it to fit, Vicki left. Shortly after leaving, she and a friend enrolled in a vocational school for cosmetology, where after 1500 hours, Vicki received/earned her certificate.

Vicki's parents

Throughout her childhood/adulthood, Vicki always maintained a tight, close relationship with her mom, though she was closer to her dad. Her mom was a wonderful mother, but Vicki, at a young age, picked up on the sense that her mom was truly unhappy with her own life. Mind you, Victoria did learn the essential rules from her mother.

1. Dress Impeccably

2. Never scream at your kids in front of their friends

3. Keep your house neat, tight & beautifully dictated

4. Be a good cook and know how to sew.

Vicki followed this advice from her mom to this day, Regardless of her mom's volume growing upm Vicki loved and appreciated her mom to her passing day, though she never showed it, Vicki put her parents on a regarded respect and never wanted to disappoint them.

Times therein began to get tough for Vicki in her junior year when her family experienced a serious financial tragedy. After a secretary in her father's company embezzled funds, his business imploded, Her dad put the family home up for collateral for the bank loan to meet payroll. When the bank called for payment, it couldn't be made; and the home was foreclosed on. Eventually, her father declared bankruptcy. And just after Vicki's senior year, the family had to move. This family had to go through a massive financial change in their lifestyle and cut down. They were entirely/completely embarrassed. Looking back, it made Vicki grow up a lot, like any other teenager HIT with REALITY! That experience shaped Victoria into the person she's become - shaping her future.

Eventually, they would have another home, though not as large, but the business would be revived. Her father recouped a portion of the loss. Still, nothing was the same. No matter what he did, NOTHING was ever the same.

Victoria's very first job was scooping ice cream at the local Svenson's. Her father bestowed a great work ethic on his kids. When each of his did turned 16, they may have gotten a car. . . along with a payment book. Each month, they had to come up with the money on their own. 

History would repeat itself/teaching tool

Victoria had to come up with roughly $180, and she found it by scooping ice cream but wasn't covering that bill. So, she searched for another job. And she found it working at Wendy's.  A guy, Robert Tomato, worked there as well, so it was more time to spend with her, not just in school. After he left, he got a job at Jewel Grocery Store and asked Victoria to apply there too. She quickly got an interview and began working with him again.

At first, Vicki started in like everyone else in bagging groceries and began collecting carts. When she got the chance to move up to a clerk's position, she took it. More money meant paying off her car faster. She got so good at being a clerk that she could multitask other positions in a juggling situation. No bar code. No scanners. Her eyes were the scanners, and she had to do the input system by hand. The staff was timed at how fast they could enter and ring up every month -for which Vicki would be the winner. Her name appeared on the bulletin board as the fastest checker and continued that success at a winning streak. . .Thus, began the start of Victoria's competitiveness. For which she shifted that into drive.

Vicki's relationship with Robert ended when he broke up with her just after Vicki's junior year. She was devastated by this, but it didn't take long before she began to really understand reality and get back to work. Soon, there would be a new boyfriend, that had bagged groceries with her at Jewel, Michael Wolfsmith. The 3 of them; Robert, Mike & Vicki worked together for a short time, and when word spread that Robert & Vicki were no longer an item, Mike Wolfsmith made his move. He was a nice guy, soft spoken, simple and easy to get along with. There was something about him that Vicki should've recognized, been able to pinpoint and put a finger on, but there was something Vicki should've caught on to/known. Mike was 2-yrs-older than Vicki and what she took for ambition, reflection in a good car, steady job and more, became a fantasy moment in her life. If I had known then what I know now. . .. you live and you learn.

Something Vicki has never been able to do is be content with being ALONE! Vicki did like the fact that Mike was 2-yrs-older. He made Vicki feel special, somehow more mature and able to mix and mingle with an older crowd. Vicki was letting her imagination get the better of her, and she believed in what she was telling herself. 

Finally, while graduating high school, Vicki remembers being scared and crying, wondering what she was going to do. She wasn't college material, though she did attend for 6 months. She felt as if she was stuck. Life wasn't clicking and making sense for her, so she remained at the grocery store checkout stand while Mike was stocking. He tried to always make it a point to be nearby and be nearby with bagging groceries for her when they could. Mike was fun to be around. He was an athlete who played a couple of years of high school football but never exceeding it for a career. For Vicki, Mike always wanted to achieve a baseline of success, but Vicki wanted and felt she achieve more. There was NOTHING wrong with Mike Wolfsmith achieving the success he had. . .it just wasn't the life she seen for herself. RIGHT THEN, the warning signs were flashing there.

Vicki and Mike were together for almost 2 years. Vicki's family home was trying to put their own family back on track after the financial bankruptcy of her father's business. With the financial bankruptcy looming, the whole family was on-edge. A little fight between Vicki and her mom broke out into battle, and while things were in a heated moment, Vicki called Mike and impulsively asked him to marry her. Impulsively wanting to marry Mike to get out of her parent's house.

At this point, Victoria's grandfather went to her mother and told her to stop this wedding before it happened. Her mother, Joanne's, reply was that Vicki was going to do as she was determined to. But, Joanne was right - Vicki was going to do what she wanted. As things progressed with Mike and they were getting SERIOUS, her father took Mike aside and warned him that he would have to work in the family business. William feared that Mike wouldn't be able to support his daughter and their future family and felt like she should be forced to have a career that paid well. Even though Joanne told her father she was powerless to intervene, Joanne did come forth to tell her daughter that Mike wasn't a good fit for the Steinmetz family. 

The Steinmetz family didn't have faith in Mike and felt he wasn't ambitious enough for Victoria, yet she reminded him not to worry and that Mike was a TRUE go-getter. He would rise to the occasion. Become more aggressive. Just wait and see. 

In hindsight, creating an image of what Mike could've been something, he absolutely had no desire to be. Mike had some great qualities, but he let them be overshadowed by whatever his reasoning skills were. He was PURELY a GOOD GUY AT HEART, but there were moments Mike wasn't so great. 

In those days/era, Mike enjoyed drinking beer, sometimes to excess. That should've been a warning to her, but once again, Vicki had blinders on and wasn't SEEING what was right in front of her. She had told herself and everyone that confronted the situation, that there was no problem and was denying to herself what was right in front of her eyes. She didn't want to see it! When Mike was 18, his parents divorced and his father became homeless. That left an impact on him. When Mike would think and stress of the situation, he would drink away the anxiety to drown out his emotions. 

Vicki was turning 21 and Mike was 23 when they were married on May 29, 1983, at the Itasca Country Club. It was a very traditional Luteran wedding. A few months after their wedding, they bought and moved into a repossessed, 2-story house in Palatine. Looking forward, they were planning on having kids, or so they thought. . . .After a year of marriage, Vicki was pregnant for the first time, but miscarried 3 months later, Vicki was pregnant again. There were no complications and this time around everything went smoothly. And, although born one month early, baby Michael arrived on January 4TH, 1986.

That afternoon, Vicki had just come home from the store with bags of groceries, and instead of carrying one bag at a time, Vicki loaded her hips with 2. Mike, being a gear-head was in the garage with the door halfway down because he was painting a '64 Chevy Impala. She asked him to help bring in the groceries, but Mike was too busy. When Vicki made her way under the garage door as if it were a limbo game. . .her water broke. Mike got upset, and asked what she was doing? Vicki had no answer. She was in panic mode. Vicki called her mother, Joanne, and was instructed to call the doctor and go to the doctor. When Vicki spoke to the doctor, he urged Vicki to come right in.

Trying to get Mike to stop working on his car was like pulling teeth....not going to happen. Mike was getting angry at Vicki for being a nuisance; bitching and moaning, while begrudgingly driving her to the hospital and the doctor tried to get Pitocin going so she could deliver naturally. After 30 hours, Vicki had gotten a C-Section and.. . Michael J. Wolfsmith was born - all 7lbs 12oz of him.

Mike Sr. didn't know what to do and was never hands-on with kids. When he held his newborn son, she didn't believe that Mike truly appreciated the fact that he was viable into bringing a life into the world. A life. He rarely changed diapers and preferred being with his buddies, then to be with his family. Occasionally, he did play with the baby, and it was just a jaw-dropping anomaly. She truly, truly just didn't accept it. It was truly something Vicky cherished seeing him do.

Vicki wanted Mike to be like her own father who walked through the door and come home and BE with the family. . . whilst, Mike was the complete opposite. Constantly in/out of the home "for a reason. . .run out the door for a minute" leaving Victoria alone in the house after having worked a full day herself. Since Mike was employed by his father-in-law and had to show up, but sometimes Mike Sr. would be declared M.I.A. Her father put up with this and even brought out one of Mike's strengths; a real talent for building things to exact precision.

At home, Vicki and Mike argued over his drinking when she was 9 months pregnant with Briana, and Mihael was 5-months old. Mike came in bitching/ranting about something. Finally, nudging past her rather hard; Mike ended up breaking a bedroom window. He left the house and Vicki called her parents and then the police. For HOURS, Vicki stressed and worried of Mike's whereabouts, knowing he was drinking and hoping he was safe. When it got really late and they figured Mike wasn't coming home, Vicki's dad suggested they trace Mike's gas card. With police help, come to find out that Mike was headed out toward Minnesota. . . and Vicki instantly knew where he was going. Vicki called an old army buddy of Mike's and warned him that Mike was coming home soon. When he got to his friends house, he was told to call home. She was even more surprised  that. . . Mike was moving to Minnesota. Packing all of his tools and leaving for good. Vicki tried to persuade Mike to stay with the family. The new baby was due in a few weeks.  

A few weeks later, Mike was home again. He was COMPLETELY CLOSED OFF as he EVER could be. Saying sorry was never in Mike's vocabulary. He went back to work. Vicki would never truly understand what was UP with Mike was until years later. Though Mike was NEVER physically violent towards Vicki herself, he did punch in quite a few walls, broke a lot of glass and damaged valuables. Sometimes when they were in the car, Mike would floor it to drive fast to scare her. Mike railed against the Steinmetz family, how much they pissed him off, and then disregard of him. The blinders were coming off. Seeing what everyone else, but her, already knew. . . .Then, their daughter was born.

When Vicki went in to have her daughter, this time, she knew what to expect. Briana Lynn Wolfsmith was born April 8TH, 1987 via C-Section. Again, Mike was not around when it mattered. When the kids were little, Vicki thought Briana had the best chance of melting Mike's heart. From her birth to her childhood, Mike was completely disaffectionate and rejecting his own children. It was another billboard size of a sign. Vicki was completely overlooking. During this time, Vicki was doing odd jobs that pay rent; sewing, cutting hair and the payroll for her dad's business. Things weren't clicking financially, so she looked for steady work. In the early part of the marriage, but before her pregnancies, the family and Vicki found jobs through the newspaper. She began working at Wick's Limber Co. that very same day. As a buyer's assistant, Vicki earned about $20K annually. Occasionally, things were looking up.

Shortly after Victoria started working at Wick's, the company hired a new lumber buyer, Donn Gunvalson, and she became his secretary. Rumor had it that Donn had moved from San Diego and was a confirmed bachelor. Many of the ladies were hot for Donn and Vicki was warned to stay out of these ladies' way. Vicki tried to tell her friends. Look, I'm married. I love Mike. I don't care about this Donn guy. 

Donn was a very good and ethical manager. They got along fine and it was obvious there could've been more, but Vicki was true to her marriage to Mike. She and Donn never kissed, hugged or crossed any line(s) whatsoever, though the flirtatious innuendos were in the air. 

It began to mentally creep up on Vicki to wonder if she was truly married to the man. Admittedly, Vicki kept Donn in the back of her mind. Thus, she was already truly & mentally checked out of her marriage to Mike Wolfsmith. But, if Vicki and Mike truly couldn't get their shit together, she thought Donn might like her enough to pursue a relationship. But, Vicki tried to shake off the emotion to Donn. Life went on and Vicki HAD TO MAKE HERSELF GET RID of these thoughts. After 6 months at Wick's Lumber, Donn was gone. He decided to leave and work in California and avoid the Midwestern winters.

Over the years, Vicki and Donn kept in touch via the lost art of letter writing. Eventually, Vicki began to send him pictures of Michael and then Briana. Then, the return letters stopped. Donn was considering marriage to another woman and they had lost all contact. Vicki was 5 years into her marriage to Mike, and they tried to make the best of it. In those days, Mike wasn't a man who could be depended on. Victoria kept the more stable, reliable Donn wondering if there was a chance she'd someday live in sunny California. Unfortunately, this hope waned since Vicki was certain Donn had gotten married.

About 8 1/2 years into her marriage to Mike, Vicki wrote of evidence into her diary about how unhappy she was with Mike. Vicki just didn't know how she was going to make it through her life with this man. Mike was still drinking, not showing up for work, and from what Vicki learned was that Mike wasn't being faithful in their marriage. He would miss family obligations and didn't want to participate in life. In deep discussional talks, Vicki's father came out on a balcony and asked if she wanted or needed to talk. She proceeded to explain how Mike just didn't want to participate in the good life Vicki was trying to build and of life plans going forward. Vicki and Mike would soon realize they were like oil/water. How were they going to make this work? In talking with her father, despite their personal beliefs, they realized that they were destined to destroy one another if they stayed together, and the kids would suffer for it. Vicki's parents would support her, in any way possible, if she had a plan going forward. She had to have a long term backup plan to take care of herself and the kids, because Mike couldn't be counted on financially.

Here she was, 28-yrs-old, never wanting to be a disappointment to her parents, had they told Vicki to stick it out, she would've. When she got home, Vicki blatantly asked Mike for a divorce. Halfway hoping Mike would want to fight for their relationship, Vicki was somehow relieved when Mike said Yes! To make sure she was doing the right thing, Vicki sought out pastoral guidance and was told there were things that the church recognized as grounds for officially dissolving a marriage:

The 3 A's. . . .

• Addiction
• Adultery
• Abuse

Mike was heavily drinking alcohol, verbally abusive, and whilst cheating wasn't always on the horizon, it was above anything Vicki wanted for herself, or the kids for the rest of their lives.

Mike had also managed to get a D.U.I. whilst they were going through a divorce. He had police on a high-speed chase that ended up with him being maced. Mike tried to blame-shift his behavior . First, Mike would drink because they were together. Now, Mike would drink due to the divorce. And, that wasn't Vicki's problem. She had to move beyond Mike. And. . .Soon, it was all over. Vicki's attorney in Palatine couldn't get the court processing her divorce paperwork fast enough, to suit her. Vicki was DONE! Six weeks later, on their 9TH anniversary, May 29, 1992, Vicki and Mike were OFFICIALLY DONE/FINISHED/OVER!  

Vicki wanted to be fair about everything. So, she and Mike split all of their assets down the middle. Vicki was supposed to get $600/month in child support. Mike was still working for his former father-in-law, so he'd be getting 3 checks a week per month and Vicki would get his 4TH paycheck, which was 25% of Mike's salary. That lasted about a year. . . until Mike quit work and Vicki never received much support from that point on. Occasionally, he would give some babysitting money. Mostly, it was Vicki's mom who would watch the kids while Vicki worked and Mike did nothing. Together, they owned their own home and rental unit. They lived in it until it was sold. From there, Mike moved to the rental unit, which he got in the divorce, while Vicki took the money from the sale and bought her own condo. Unfortunately, Mike managed to lose the rental property. He just quit making the payments necessary for the mortgage payments.

Wherewithal, the person Vicki married was NOT the person she divorced.

Immediately following her divorce, Vicki was scared. She wanted to make sure she could raise Michael & Briana alone. Vicki wasn't sure how she was going to take care of them. Vicki took the kids and moved into the small condo and she had to rob-Peter-to-pay-Paul, making ends meet. There were some nights that Vicki had to call the police because Mike was still trying to insinuate himself with their new beginning(s) - sleeping in the driveway. Trying to craw-through the window.

Looking back, although Vicki realizes she put herself into this position with Mike, and how she truly blames herself. She began to realize that if she had gone away to college, she wouldn't have jumped into marriage. Vicki definitely wanted some kind of validation and that her life had meaning. She visualized herself into a future she could see her life heading to normalcy. In her mind, Vicki created this world where her sense of purpose came from marrying Mike. She did not want to be stuck in the limbo of normalcy. Vicki made a choice and had 2 beautiful kids to show for it. She was growing out of it. Vicki wanted to/be more.   

Vicki started selling life insurance right away after the divorce. When she was married to Mike, Vicki had had bought a life insurance policy on Mike, in case he was killed via a drunk driving accident. The insurance person was a friend, who was a friend, who was an agent, that informed Victoria how much the agent made off of Vicki's one policy - $600. Vicki was floored. She thought to herself that she could easily do the job with information Vicki received from her own agent. She told Vicki how to get her own license and once she did that. . . Vicki never looked back. In an industry dominated by men, Vicki and this friend were the only 2 women employed by this particular office of Western Southern Life Insurance. They competed against one another and out-sold everyone else in the office. 

About a week before her divorce was final from Mike, Vicki was out at a nice restaurant having a nice glass of wine with a friend and in walks Donn Gunvalson. After not seeing him for 9 years, Vicki had to get a closer look. Walking up to him, Vicki instantly recognized the stance and mannerisms of the man she once knew and admired. What came next was a lightening round of "get-to-know-you" questions. Donn answered every one of them without hesitation. Vicki was truly impressed that Donn was able to handle her aggressive inquisition. In turn, Donn asked if she was ever getting rid of Mike. Talk about a perfectly timed question. Meeting Donn again after all these years felt like divine intervention. She proceeded to tell him that her divorce from Mike would be final the following week. Don smiled, handed Vicki a new business card and relayed the news that he was back in Chicago. 

Vicki never believed in the 3-day rule for calling a guy; especially when that person you truly like and admire/respected. She always wondered if Donn would reappear in her life. POOF! Donn was back. Vicki began dating Donn, though at times she felt very insecure. With her own household drama, Vicki kept wondering why Donn would care? Truly belittling herself every step of the way. Donn was very reassuring when he said his actions were stronger than words. He liked Vicki from the start due to her independence. Not out of neediness. Her parents loved Donn from the start. They KNEW instinctively that Donn would care, not take care of Vicki in the proper manner.

It was unfortunate that the kids had been hurt so badly by Mike that they kept Donn at a distance. At the time, Briana and Michael couldn't feel a closeness to Donn due to paternal abandonment damage lain by Mike. Vicki was busy working nights in the insurance industry, and Donn stepped in to watch Michael & Briana for her. Here was this 42-yr-old bachelor, caring for these kids in a way their own father never did. Vicki was truly amazed at Donn's ability to jump right in to a pre-made established family and become a truly caring family member. Though Vicki and Donn didn't ever live together before marriage, they did become a blended family. 

For better or for worse, Vicki kept the role of the disciplinarian when it came to the kids, and that sometimes angered Donn. She wouldn't allow him to make any decisions about their disciplinary actions. Vicki's justification was that Michael & Briana were her children, and if Donn decided to leave, Michael and Briana were assured their mother wasn't going anywhere. She would ALWAYS be their mother and they came FIRST! The kids would answer to their mother - the one with the LOOK! (Much like her own dad. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree). 

There came a point when Vicki's dad began having serious trouble with his memory. It was painful to watch. He begat to resort for a person he remembered being once before in a previous life. At the age of 59, Vicki's dad was showing the signs of Alzheimer's, but refused to get better. Little-by-little, her dad was relieved of any of her dad was relieved of his responsibilities. Eventually, Billy took over their father's business. Years later, Vicki's father had to be put in a nursing home for his own safety. He battled Alzheimer's for almost 9 years before his passing at the age of 67. Vicki was so happy he had gotten to know Donn before losing his faculties. And he was still around to see Vicki and Donn get married.

Vicki and Donn would marry on November 12, 1994, in front of 120 guests at a clubhouse in Barrington. Michael and Briana walked their mom down the aisle with Michael being the best man and Briana the maid-of-honor. It was just the 4 of them becoming a family. Nothing extravagant. 2 weeks prior to marrying Donn, Vicki knew that she would soon be leaving Chicago. Donn had accepted a job in California. Suddenly, what seemed like fantasy  would soon become reality. Vicki had always liked the idea of living in Southern California. Though Vicki would lose all of her residual income when she left Southern Life Insurance. Vicki was now going to be a mom and housewife and live the GOOD life. Vicki had put her condo up for sale and in the upcoming months, Donn and Vicki visited Southern California to find the perfect home.  

During this time, Vicki had to go to court to prove Mike was an unfit parent, who wasn't providing for his kids. Mike had rarely seen them and offered absolutely no support. The court granted Vicki sole custody and the right to move the kids out of state. With that, Vicki and Donn began to settle into their new home in Mission Viego. Vicki was realizing she was reaching a new pinnacle in her life. She was happily married to a stable man and they seemed to work through any rough patches in their relationship until their first real  argument. 

About money.

Though Donn was going to be the breadwinner in the family, Vicki came to realize there were some differences to work out. They had blended their finances when they bought a house, but there was little discussion about control or spending.

New to California, Vicki was told/informed about Costco; something not allotted in Chicago. Leading the kids in a family mini-van, they headed to Costco to load up on what they would need. They had about $800 in their account and knew he would be getting paid at the end of the week, so Vicki spent $400/week worrying. She packed the van full of things like food, snacks, beverages, pool toys, clothes, and quite a few other items. In the REAL TRUTH of the occasion, Donn got on his knees and promised Michael & Briana he would take care of their mom and would ALWAYS be there for them. A friend. A dad. He would always be there. . . And, Donn, to this day, always has. He is a father to Michael & Briana. . .and a grandfather to their children.

Back home, Vicki backed the van up and told the kids to go inside. When Donn came out and saw what she was unloading, he got angry. When he refused to spend an obnoxious amount on a home, Vicki instantly felt like a small, chided child. She didn't know what to do. Vicki called her parents and told them she might've made a mistake. Her dad calmed her down and made her realize the reality in the situation. He suggested that if Vicki wanted financial freedom, he suggested she return to work and remain independent to feel freer about spending.

It was then/there that Vicki made the personal choice/goal to do better than Donn when it came to making money. It was NOT a mean slight to emasculate or devalue Donn, it was to prove something to herself. She liked and acquired the financial independence it would need for her and the kids without Donn. And not to be one to ask permission to be ALIVE and spend LIFE!. Even whilst being married, Vicki went right up and signed-up for a class to get her insurance license. After 52 hours of lectures and study, Vicki took her test and passed. From that point on, Vicki was a licensed California insurance agent.      

Her first year in sales didn't beat Donn's income, but she was making her own money. They had joint bank accounts. Vicki felt comfortable contributing to the family income, and Vicki could do what she wanted to do financially/independently without permission. By her 3rd year in life insurance sales, Vicki hit her goal. She surpassed Donn's income. Looking back at this time, Vicki hoped Donn would've appreciated what each other brought into the marriage in expectations of each other. They loved, appreciated & respected what each one brought and meant to each other in their abilities both at home and in business. Vicki made the choices that got her where she is. Some were better than others, but Vicki kept working at a better life.  

In order to appreciate the growth of self, it's important to occasionally stop and appreciate how far you've come. The significance of the journey. The great thing about traveling those muddy waters is that when you make it to dry land, and you see the feet impressions behind you - you see who you are, what you're capable of. You can either keep your balance in stride of what you're doing of, or you can fall to the waistline. There were certainly times when Vicki couldn't keep her own balance. She would flounder quite a bit. She didn't know what her purpose was and definitely didn't have any direction. Growing and realizing one's potential requires both.

Some may think Vicki is a workaholic, but when you love and get gratification all day long from what you're doing, then being a workaholic is not is an addiction. . . it's a calling.   

When Vicki graduated high school, she had no direction of what she wanted to do with her life. She wasn't college material and though she did have her cosmetics license, it wasn't going to give Vicki the financial freedom she desired. From the model set lain by her own parents, Vicki wanted to do the same for Michael and Briana. Unfortunately, Vicki got stuck in the mud for a while. One of the things Vicki took from her time in beauty college was discipline. Since Vicki wasn't getting a university degree, she had to do something for which to attain the goal she set for herself, and achieve it. After 1,500 hours of class time, Vicki prevented while others dropped out. She was proud of herself for completing the requirements and getting her certificate.

That one single part of Vicki's life (hair styling, thought not used in any other aspect other than personal care) taught her that she could challenge herself to create whatever she truly wanted for herself. Using what she liked to do with ethics and discipline didn't help fuel/find that passion. Talent or ability is an awesome level and purpose is a service. Doing something in the art of benefitting others. Each occupation not only creates a living for someone, it also services humanity in some fashion. Vicki may have married Mike to understand what was worth having and what was not, what a good life consisted of and what a marriage is. With insurance, Vicki could focus work directly on others. She watched her father's business take a sudden and horrific turn, and later betray him. Vicki wanted to take some of the risk out of life. Insurance did that.  

When Vicki divorced, she needed work that enable her to provide for herself and the kids. She remembered distant family members working in the insurance industry and doing very well. Vicki's friend, Laura, a divorced mother of 3, who had sold her a policy to on Mike, was doing financially well. It was Laura who helped her with the process of getting licensed. Vicki would complete a class requirement of 52 hours to qualify for the state exam. Within weeks, Vicki had her license to sell life insurance. At this point, she didn't realize she was moving into alignment with her purpose. She never wanted to be told how she spent money. This was the beginning of a new growth stage for Victoria. If you didn't like what's going on in your life,  find another avenue to change it. You do it. You change it. 

Vicki felt normal being in a group setting of people who punched a clock and basically shared the same lifestyle as her. Kind of like an extended high school experience in the adult world. They may not have been the best students, but they all worked toward a goal. She just didn't know what that goal was. When she worked at Wick's, Vicki didn't have a college degree and was paid less. There were few women in her department who did have degrees, and though she sometimes felt inferior to them, Vicki still knew her value and worth to the company. You were always be as valuable as you want yourself to be. 

Even without a degree, Vicki was a quick study and did good work. But, she didn't have a real, true direction. It took awhile. Now, she always looks for ways to expand her skills and take on more responsibility to be worth more, to earn more. Don't be discouraged. Be encouraged. Encourage yourself. Get the education you need for a  better life. 

For a while, Vicki thought going to school, getting married to Mike and having kids was her purpose, but she still felt unfulfilled. Something was seriously missing. Motherhood certainly gave her purpose, but it wasn't until she found her calling in helping others that she found her true purpose. Money might've been the main draw, but the real satisfaction from helping people in the insurance workforce gave Vicki the INNER LIFE of Peace she needed/wanted.   

When Vicki truly sees what true rewards from others in the outcome of the job, she's not only done it correctly, she feels a great sense of meaningful purpose. Wick's Lumber proved to be perfect framing ground for her life's work. Vicki was held accountable for her work and learned to take orders. She had to hold on to this job due to adult responsibilities. If she fell, she had to pick herself up. Vicki was driven. She knew she wanted nice things and was determined to get them. She always loved her mom's taste in home decor and she wanted that. Handling her father's payroll taught her to pay bills and a budget for what she desired for success: A nice house with an inviting ambiance, a fenced-in deck in the back and a dog. They were living like other couples, only they were younger and getting a head-start. Still, Vicki always wanted more and knew she was capable of getting it.

Vicki seen her career in insurance as the ends to meet a goal. It was a dog-eat-dog market world and she was determined to be the big dog. The real competition came from a friend, whom Vicki would compete in the office among themselves, and mostly against the unsupporting males who dominated the offices. After only 2 months in the office, Vicki and the friend outsucceeded everyone in the office - including their boss by busting their asses to success. If someone tells you that you can't do something, create a plan, take action to prove them 100% wrong. In a "just cause you said that - dare".  

In addition to monetary rewards and personal satisfaction, Vicki's insurance job gave her flexability with her schedule, as ordinance with being a parent to Michael & Briana. Vicki owes a tremendous debt of gratitude to Billy, her parents, Donn and everyone else for stepping in when she was working. No matter how independent you are, there are moments when you need to ask for help. Though she never wanted Michael and Briana to suffer, Vicki would live with the emotional groundings of having her kids . . .but in or be a good parent in providing for the kids, Vicki made damn sure they ate well and had proper clothes.

Vicki had to do a lot of growing up to get where she is today. Nothing was handed to her. She never expected anything from anyone that she wasn't willing to work for. When Vicki received kindness. she was most appreciative. She learned long ago that accepting good things from others is just as important as giving to oneself. A positive flow, direction and effect feels good to contribute, to give back to help others excel better in their own lives. When you create or serve others, it keeps the heart alive with verve! Talent plus purpose with direction leads to a successful life that can't be ignored, perhaps slightly adjusting along the way. You will find the direction helps you serve your purpose well.    

Driven people don't put much faith in freebies and certainly didn't wait around for someone else to fulfill their desires. They plan a strategy, and propel themselves forward with sheer will.  When Vicki was growing up, she was fortunate to see how driven her own father, William, was. He led by examples. If you want it, you have to work for it with direction and drive. When Vicki talked about being successful, she isn't talking about financial gains, she was talking about putting a positive investment into the world with return on the positivity of the investment. If you make a plan, make a to-do list of how to achieve it by being driven by direction and sheer will of daily reminders.

Being driven isn't always in the blood. Vicki's father, William, was driven, but she wasn't for quite some time. Vicki had to change the way she thought about her life. She had to understand what it would mean to her if she were to have direction and drive. Vicki had to change her patterns and accept that she was capable of success and wealth as those she was personally inspired by. There were lessons Vicki didn't want to learn, but she eventually had to swallow her pride and admit that perhaps she wasn't as efficient as she could be. Those who are driven at work remain busy all day long. Striking lines through their to-do list to make things happen. Being a firm believer in having something for yourself gives you the ability to believe in yourself. Not having something to provide for you. Having something for yourself in case shit falls down in your life.

When Vicki decided that she was going to make her own money and spend it her own way. . . she didn't necessarily tell Donn right away. Vicki made actual plans about going back to work and then she created an opportunity to share her plans with Donn. Donn knew Vicki wanted more than they collectively had the money for. Donn may have wanted a stay-at-home wife. When it came to regrets, although you may feel them at the end of your life, seeing your regrets early in life is considered growth that others don't possess. Vicki didn't know/come to realize that her father was setting an example for his children and aspire to, and in the same onclarence setting an example for Michael & Briana. When they see the example lain by their mother that she lain for them, they understand and GET what it takes to WORK for the success you want, and the lifestyle they DESIRE! When you're a parent, you set an example for your kids to strive and be more and achieve more their desired plans for success.

Vicki's first taste of business was a little girl with her own Kool-Aid stand. As she got older and after receiving the certificate from beauty school, Vicki thought she could make a business out of cutting hair. She found out quick that this line of work wasn't for her in the lifestyle she desired. Her next venture was sewing. Vicki did many jobs, of which sewing and clothes, was only a small segment with a set of valances for the kitchen of her neighbor. The woman had gotten an estimate of $4,000 from a professional company and Vicki low-balled them, cutting the price in half. $2,000 in one week. Vicki was estatic.

Though it may've felt like an eternity in time that week, Vicki liked the ability to make money while being home with Briana & Michael. It was the perfect win-win. The women bought the material and still served a large sum of money. There was a bit of time while Vicki was in Chicago that she thought about selling real estate. She was only truly leaning into it due to the financial payout making out like bandits. The only big determent for her was the fact she didn't want to drive people all over town, but more so, Vicki didn't want to spend her nights and weekends working. The irony is that what has led to what Vicki does TODAY! - endlessly working. With that passing thought, Vicki did have an idea of taking over her father's business, and expanding further than ever before. Vicki was sure she would be taking over the family business.

Vicki almost felt as if she'd been kept level-grounded for it, but then move tragedy was to follow the existing embezzlement. Asbestos Safety was a subsidiary of her father's company. The removal of asbestos was very profitable, but also very costly. They owned a $200K decontamination trailer that companies in this line of work were required to furnish for their employees. Vicki often heard of entrepreneurs business-jumping before giving themselves a chance to be successful at first. Admittedly, Vicki was this person. Anything she could possibly profit from. Vicki was into it. 

When moving to Mission Viego, CA, and after the Costco incident in Donn, Vicki began to truly consider having her own business. Since previously selling insurance in Chicago, Vicki knew her abilities were strong in the industry and she could achieve great things if left to her own devices. As a captive agent for Western Southern, Vicki lost every bit of residual income when she left the company. That was a BIG lesson. Everything Victoria built went right back into her prior company employment. Never make the same mistake twice. If Vicki was going to do the work, she would reap the benefits. Learn from history, it'll happen to you. Now, it was time to see what Vicki was truly made of. It was time. It was like a spur in her ass and send her into a final direction. Vicki thoroughly understood that self-employment would be the only road she'd ever walk down again.

Vicki was good at insurance. She wasn't a stranger to pick-up the phone and making cold-calls. As a matter-of-fact, when Vicki first started in the industry with Western Southern, there was no such thing as a paid-for-lead. Her first boss set a HUGE phone book down on her desk and told Vicki to Go For It. As she went down the alphabet making orders, one-by-one, even though she had a script to go from, Vicki wasn't polished enough to sound as if she were reading to a potential client. This was the first steeping road Vicki stumbled across and worked to improvise. Talking themselves out of opportunities before they even got their shot.

Vicki made the decision to take the step at a time; to learn the process of self-empowerment. Vicki wasn't always brave enough to take the steps she needed to grow her business. Vicki worked in her home office for 12-yrs before having the gumption to create a BIGGER company. Yes, sometimes, Vicki gets petrified. Now, Vicki channels her fear by creating and accepting challenges that force her to reach new levels. While working in her home office, Vicki would soon realize that if she hired someone part time, to do the paperwork, Vicki could focus on the phone sales. One lesson Vicki HAD TO learn the HARD WAY about micro-managing. Yes, Vicki wanted to be in control of her own business, but at the same time, if Vicki didn't let loose on the reigns, she would be sabotaging her own account. 

When Vicki worked for Western Southern and they had inner-office competitions, though she was often awarded the weekly bonus, there was something more Victoria wanted. She began to notice that her boss wasn't truly any better at sales than her, yet his pay was more and the company made half of Vicki's commissions. When Vicki began to scrutinize management and how they handled meeting, business acumen, reports, Vicki knew she could do better, but what she truly was doing was setting the wheels in motion for her future. Vicki kept mental notes/thoughts of what was in front of her wondering if she wanted what she was seeing. . . .or mental notes of what she didn't want for what she would someday acquire. After 12-yrs in her home office, Vicki began building a business that she could oversee, guide it's direction, while others perform in their position of expertise. One of the first things Vicki learned from working at home was to keep serious stats of the day in/out of her business within the home office.

In her divorce from Mike, Vicki was awarded a portion of Mike's salary for child support, but not for long after the courts decision, and Mike left her father's company - the support stopped. Yeah, Vicki could've taken Mike back to court; but it was more hassle than it was worth. When you have the choice to throw your hands up in angst,  or make a plan to diligently get shit done,  the ball is in your court. When starting Coto Insurance, Vicki's main objective was to make sure people were covered in death, illness, or unforeseen circumstances. When Vicki hugs a woman in bearevement and knows that she and her kids are financially taken care of, it's a calming sense of presence felt all around, even if its in the slightest way. Vicki's slogan, "Where clients are family", and it correlates to her business brand - it's about being there for people. When tragedy occurs, it's then that people understand the purpose, the drive and the concern.

Vicki used a part of her line-of-credit to design and move into an office that clients or employees could feel comfortable in. It became so inviting and comforting that it became a literal home away from home; so as to the staff work into the wee late hours, sometimes becoming too comfortable as a 2ND home - forgetting it's an office. Though Vicki used a portion of her credit line to build a comfortable office, she also used it to boost her business - internet services, obtain new sales reps and buy more leads.

A very successful friend told Vicki "You don't know what success looks like until you have it - lack of time; family time, sleep and exercise." Vicki had each of these and lost a few friends along the way. She came to a point where she enjoyed friendships, Vicki was having an affair with her business, she was like a Mosiac with art lost in the marble of her life. There have been many times Victoria let her emotions override the situation. She's had to re-learn that something small could lead to rage due to being triggered.

Looking back at this example, chaos was completely revealed and she allowed her emotions get involved. Life was happening behind-the-scenes and the family van incident brought the background heavy load of work to the forefront. Once Vicki was able to progress and learn better from the mini-van incident, and recognize the moment of inception, the chaos went away. 

When you reach the pinnacle milestone that marks your hard won affluence, you should reap the benefits of your rewards. Vicki has worked hard to acquire the luxuries of the finer things she desired all her life. It wasn't to brag, but to express that the work she does, the long hours that provide that the proof is in the pudding. Working smart instead of hard may not be in your best vocabulary.  Admittedly Vicki is a stubborn woman. She was someone who also had to learn the lesson of the hard way.

It takes a village. Vicki could not and would not've gotten any volidity of success without the team that got her there. Vicki worked in her home office for 12 years and feared growing in business. Success is sometimes as scary as failure and both bloom on the horizon. Vicki watched her dad's business take a major blow through betrayal, by not being more watchful to the eye. Vicki seen both of her marriage(s) to Mike & Donn fail due to not having a true partnership with a future that aligned. Vicki was lucky to have remarried twice with men of the same values, but quickly realized she had to continue to take charge of her own life. Even as Vicki enjoyed her success, she was determined to maintain and enhance her lifestyle. 

With business actively staying afloat in an unsure market of up/downs, Vicki always managed to increase her business. She always was truly hooked on beating her personal best and her next quarter projections. She's kept her focus on her purpose and continues to drive herself. Exceeding her own expectations. When Vicki started Coto Insurance, she had only 1 sales rep. That was her. After she had 2-or-3 reps, Vicki had a lightbulb moment, and realized that if she kept it small with just a few reps, she could duplicate the process 1000x over. Today, Coto Insurance had expanded globally. As of this book's publication, over 5 years prior, Vicki was working from home with 1 part-time assistant, she didn't have an official website, agent certification school or the reps and staff that she's acquired today. Vicki didn't even have a business degree, but she does have DRIVE! She went out and GOT SHIT DONE! If you can believe it, you can achieve it. Vicki is LIVING PROOF!

Vicki is now working to reach a broader audience through radio. Through ads and personal appearances, Vicki secures new leads. Her brand is now becoming naturally known and she's seen as an expert in her field. Vicki may seem affluent, but she has to keep her business booming, her staff employed and her addiction is the drive to work nurtured. There isn't a day she's traveling, despite the circumstance, that she's working in her laptop. There's always something to be done/do. Vicki is relied on to be SHARP - day in/day out. Remember, Vicki was once truly afraid of working away from her home office. She took a deep breath, exhaled and moved into an office building. Just keep breathing. You Can Do this. 

Remember, every successful person was once a beginner. 

After the very first season of Real Housewives Of Orange County, Vicki received a ton of various emails from men and women wanting to know how they could work in the same way Vicki was doing - working from home. Donn saw hundreds, if not thousands, of emails pouring in and quickly surmised that Vicki needed a website, and more importantly, Vicki needed to somehow capture all of the e-mail addresses. She wasn't 100% what was truly happening, how everything would be tied together, but Vicki knew just the same that there was a correlation.

Vicki began looking for a place to move her business and even though she didn't last in the first office space, it was the first pinnacle toward expansion. Expansion. Always in all ways. - Ryan Serhant. After getting her website up, Vicki was doing business with a company that wanted to offer an on-line insurance course. People began signing up and then one thing led to another. . . BOOM! Pinnacle! Vicki took out a small business line-of-credit and moved into her own office. Decorated it as she envisioned with room to grow. Soon, through the online site, Coto Insurance and continued to grow in agents. Let's your thoughts flow, and whatever you do, don't fight them. Feel the fear and go for it. Due to the success of Real Housewives Of Orange County, Vicki is reaching toward a nationwide audience and say agent that works with Coto Insurance will be given leads in their state as they come in from the show itself. When your desires are aligned with your life's purpose, you will think the heavens opened up and showered you up with every possible advantage. Vicki is LIVING PROOF! Remember, pinnacles are the manifestations of thoughts in direct alignment with desires. 

A very good man by the name of Scott Dunlap who resided in Coto De Caza had always dreamed of producing a TV show centered around the privileged kids who lived behind-the-gates of the community. Vicki's son, Michael, wrote to the casting company production executives informing them of his privileged upbringing. He told them he resided in Coto De Caza when he wasn't in school at the University Of Colorado in Boulder. When he was home from school break, Michael was privy to a very relaxing life of leisure. Michael went to inform them that his mom own's an insurance agency, and works out of their home. They came over to the house to speak with him, but Michael was back in college. They asked if they could talk to Vicki and then informed her of the letter Michael had written.

Scott and his crew asked Vicki informative questions, for which she responded with responsible answers that suited fit. They questioned where Vicki was from, inferred that she obviously wasn't from California, due to Scott and production had never seen a woman in the O.C. WORK! (Their words verbatim - not hers). This led to their filming a short clip of Vicki's and taking it back to their studios. BING! BANG! BOOM! They had begun acquiring about other ladies for the show. They had Vicki's story and wanted to bring in 4 other ladies who didn't work. Scott Dunlap had moved into Coto and became next door neighbors with a soon-to-be Bravo LEGEND: Jeana Keough. Fascinated by Jeana's family life and home, retired husband at the time, Matt, and open door policy flow of her home. Scott brought Vicki in on as an ORIGINAL cast member. One-by-one, Jeana, along with Vicki, other cast members were coming along the way.

Lauri Peterson was working for Vicki from Victoria's home office and that's where Scott met her. Scott, having produced plays, wanted this show to happen, so he took the concept to Bravo, who bought it. There wasn't a big turnout for the casting call due to no one truly caring to do the show at the time. Vicki's and neighbors thought she was crazy. She never put too much thought into it. Vicki thought she'd do it, film it and NOTHING to come of it. NEVER did Vicki EVER think the show would catapult into what global phenomenon it's become.   

The first season. producers/crew just showed up at the house. Vicki wasn't prepared with anything. She was just as plain in house clothes; hair was a mess and wasn't wearing any makeup. All Vicki needed to do was go on with life living in the home and they shot it on camera to film. Vicki thought everyone would get bored fast. The first season featured 5 hand-picked housewives, none of which realized what an explosion awaited them. With the starz of the second season, they were getting called back amid a lot more buzz. Many OC Housewives saw how popular the show was, and by Season 4, it was like the show began to have a footing that MATTERED! The producers had their guidelines of what they were looking for in the show. Many women, like those in a post-2015 era, DO NOT measure up for a variety of reasons; the show needed a WOW factor. It needed TRUE drama from the events of people's TRUE off-camera REAL NON-MANUFACUTRED FOR THE SHOW LIVES to keep the viewers hooked!

They could live their lives, but make it lively to watch. The show needed people who were eccentrics in one way or another. Women would come/go when it was proven their lives were uneventful. Or, if what the show was becoming and turning in to. . .drama for drama's sake FOR TV rather than organic friction. Tammy Knickerbocker was the CLASSIC example of living life with NO DRAMA and went with the flow. If life didn't go well, she dealt with it in a calmer manner. Great for her. Bad for the show. Significance was key, and Vicki was on Housewives was a working woman who earned and worked for her lifestyle through blood, sweat and tears of WORK! 

Andy Warhol said that We all get 15-minutes of fame. Most of Vicki's time on the show spent working, 10-15 hours. Condensed down for a 7-minute reel. So, at this point in time, Victoria's part of the show was shot on the weekend. When it comes to participation of the show itself, Vicki takes the good with the bad and regrettable. Looking back at her time on Housewives, Vicki truly got to see and understand and come to FOREVER live with REGRET! of her treatment to Donn, their divorce, seeing parts of her life she truly didn't like. The cameras were always rolling. Capturing what you never thought or REALIZED! The interesting thing about this whole "reality" show concept is that production and people behind the camera were supposed to just film what was in front of them, but they often provoke, edit and spin the narrative of TRUE REALITY to get "reality tv".

Vicki's own personal FAVORITE moments on the show that live in infamy in her heart and in the Bravosphere are the ones shared with Briana and Michael. 

• Showing up at Michael's college. Vicki had brought chips and dip to party with him and his friends. Vicki took a risk showing up unannounced, but to Vicki - it was a blast! A little sad at first due to the amount of genuine embarrassment within the situation in Michael's life becoming embarrassing for everyone all around.
  
  
  She truly enjoyed the episodes when she was with Briana shopping for her nursing uniforms. Briana had just been a senior in high school when the show began, and now, Briana is a FULL-TIME nurse, a military wife and mother of 2 boys: Troy and Owen. Vicki's little girl is all grown up with a life of her own, doing GREAT thing with her life.

Obviously, the portions of Vicki's life that live forever on-camera that she truly regrets are the ones that emotionally hurt others. Looking back, Vicki hurt Donn on more than one occasion. Some were justified due to Donn flat out pissing her off. (He hurt me. I hurt him.) Then, Vicki's outburst response there to Donn's infliction was the ONLY portion caught on-camera to air. Therein leads to speculation of events that spiraled from the CORE TRUTH of events. Hurt people hurt people. There were sufferings in the breakdown of the marriage due to mutual infidelity and growing emotionally distant over the years. . . Sometimes Vicki does get caught up in the negativity and it is tough to break away, go to a neutral corner and calm herself.

There are times in "REALity TV" that draw a lot of comments from viewers. Vicki drinking tequila with Briana who was 18 at the time, the legal drinking age in Mexico. They did a shot of Moonshine Tequila at a local restaurant they are frequent patrons. It was a ceremonial special situation/occasion 1 time. 1 shot. Viewer comments completely blew the situation out of proportion; you'd think Vicki was getting Briana DRUNK! COMPLETELY the opposite. EVERYONE was TRULY being responsible. Michael & Briana were never allowed to drink alcohol at home, nor were they permitted to do it, and Vicki never bought it for them when they were growing up. There are multiple various times that Vicki wonders why viewers who catch a 5-10 minute clip that LIFELY lasted 3hrs, are so caught up in the exploitation of the argument and often ignore the post aftermath results. Viewers don't/didn't see the loving peace & quiet loving moments with Vicki and Donn going for a walk or quietly enjoying one another's company. When looking back at "reality TV" from the shooting side, Vicki began to understand why sitcoms have chaos rather than sitting around due to being cancelled due to off-the-air boredom.    

If Real Housewives Of Orange County went toe-to-toe with 90s talk show debates during ratings week, Housewives win HANDS-DOWN! During a show like this, those who participate in Housewives truly need to develop a THICK-SKIN! The learning part of "REALITY" is to having to TRULY relive the moments when they air. Breakups. Divorces. Fights. Births. Deaths and more. If there is truly anything Vicki would like to have changed from the show's origin to the 20TH year of Housewives, Vicki would liked to have had a HIGHER AWARENESS level of where the show was going to become and how Vicki wished to have set a better example for viewers.

In summation of the TRUE REALITY of the show, Vicki has had a lot of good times, mixed with trying and difficult times. If this were all Vicki took with her when the show is over, then Vicki is truly blessed and that's the TRUE "REALITY" Vicki was searching for.

To this day, despite the longevity and outcome of what viewers see, Vicki finds it strange when fans encounter her for an autograph. Why? She's no Meryl Streep, Jack Nicholson, Diane Keaton, Anjelica Houston. Why her? She's a reality TV star personality. Vicki finds herself completely taken aback when fans approach her on the street outside of the Bravosphere. Just 20+ years ago, Vicki was GENUINELY just a working wife and mother shopping at the local grocery store. Now, her appearance has become noticeable. Vicki oftentimes finds herself biting her lips when fans comment to her face on moments of her own life via way of what they've seen on the show itself. She won't/wouldn't change their opinion or debate them, until they hang with her or get to KNOW her.

After the ordeal with producers and the man in Vegas, Vicki learned to be very careful who to let into her social circle. Looking back at examples/moments of the show, some moments paid for themselves with the back-end outcome. TRUE moments that might seem embarrassing in the moment on-camera; i.e. Michael's college-frat or Briana's dance sex-talk will be looked at as a moment in time to cherish and remember. Some of the funniest moments and times on the show are the BEST WOO-HOO! moments of ALL-TIME! Vicki truly loves the outside public acknowledgements of the WOO-HOO! is a TRUE Badge Of Honor. Vicki is TRULY left in amazement with a smile on her face!

As of this books publication:

Vicki and Donn separated in 2010 after 16 years of marriage. 

Their divorce was finalized in late 2013.

Briana has been married since to her military husband, Ryan Culberson since 2011. They have their own family of all boys - by which making Vicki a grandmother and Michael an uncle. 

Despite the divorce and follow-through, THAT remains to be the BIGGEST REGRET of Vicki's life that she will FOREVER live with.

In later years, Vicki had developed sepsis. She was TRULY HIT with ALL of life's REALITES of breakups, TRUE LIES.

She's come to realize the TRUE meaning of TRUE friendships with Jeana Keough, Tamra Judge (nee' Barney) & Shannon Storms Beador, and come to live with REAL TRUE LOSS/

REGRET! on various levels/amounts. 

Vicki has come to realize what TRULY MATTERS in this 2026 life with a new life, new love, newer castmates/friends you meet later in life that become framily; etc; Tamra and Shannon Storms Beador and, hopefully to be FOREVER HAPPY!