Small Sacrifices

This next story tells of the TRUE HORRIFIC case in 1980s, Springfield, OR. where 3 kids were killed at the hands of their own mother, Diane Downs. It began when a red Nissan pulled into the ER. Diane screamed for help that "someone" had shot her kids. The O.R. was soon filled w/ different kids in different rooms. After much work and all that could be done, one child was D.O.A., one lived through multiple blood loss and delicate surgery, while the other one was stable fighting paralysis. Why would a mother do this?

When they got to the hospital, Diane reported that a stranger demanded her car and shot the kids when she refused to give it to him. When Diane was explaining what happened, hospital personnel wrapped up her arm from a gunshot. Walking out of the ER, Diane wondered if her car was okay. After she escorted police to the scene where the incident occurred, one of the most massive criminal investigations in the state of Oregon has begun.

In a case like this, when detectives arrived at the hospital, they expected to find an inconsolable mother - considering what she went through - irate - but NO what they came upon was someone who was still VERY rational & in control. When word came about that her daughter, Cheryl, was dead, Diane's demeanor was flat. She laughed at odd times. When word came about son, Danny, Diane's reaction was to wonder if it missed his heart?  What going over what initially happened that night, Diane explained that her & the kids had gone to see a horse who belonged to a friend. After the visit, Diane had impulsively went sightseeing w/ the kids, after noticing the kids had fallen asleep, they headed home. When she pulled on an unfamiliar road, that was when Diane said she spotted a strange man in the road.  After Diane asked why he was in the road, he said he wanted he car. When she refused - he fired a gun in the car. Diane stated that she pretended to throw her car keys after he shot her in the arm after and argument for the car and they took off for the hospital.

After Diane had perused and signed the consent form to search her home, she then wondered about being a suspect - automatically? Diane stated that she had only been in town a few weeks after moving to Springfield to be w/ her parents so they could see their grandchildren working as a postmaster. Although Diane didn't want to stay in the hospital, she made them promise not to tell her dad about the out-of-the-ordinary tattoo on her left shoulder: a rose w/ the name Lew underneath.

When police detectives did a consented run-through of Diane's apartment, they found some things that drew an eye. Ex. - an engraved unicorn that had hidden meaning when purchased. A gun that Diane had told them about. She had asked for a notebook in which she wrote, that cops copied first due to evidence because of the contents inside of letters written & not sent to "Lew". At the hospital, Diane had called work and asked to talk to Lew, who wanted nothing from her and a simple life w/ his wife and kids.

In their offices, detectives worked to find clues. Pointing out the crime, guess where Diane's injures were when she was "shot" by the "gunman"? Right on the lower part of the arm, where it doesn't hurt much. Odd? When Det. Hugi went to the hospital on 5-20-83, he found Christie & Danny Downs in the I.C.U. It was almost impossible to see Christie w/ tubes and bandages. They could see that she was conscious & alert. The odds seemed against her. She was alone w/ no family members by her side. Det. Hugi became emotional. Right then, he "adopted" her, he stayed to look after both kids. Reading the medical info, the cops had to begin the case from scratch. Investigators searched the blood-stained car. Patterns showed the shooter had leaned into the car's driver seat, just as Diane said. It was reported to have removed a Duran Duran cassette that played 'Hungry Like A Wolf' from the tape deck.

It was Dr. Wilson who found that Cheryl had been shot twice - both fatal wounds. Back at the hospital, Diane & the surviving children remained under tight guard. The police then questioned Diane's ex-husband, Steve Downs, about her history w. guns and her relationship w/ Lew. As far as it goes w/ the children's recovery, Christie LITERALLY come back from the dead. She tried but she couldn't verbally communicate.

The first time Diane came to visit her daughter, what some expected to be a tearful reunion wasn't. Diane stared down at Christie, then w/ her uninjured hand, reached for Christie's good right hand and squeezed hard. She kept repeating the same phrase over again - "I Love You". Someone glanced over to the heart rate monitor Christie was on and seen the number excel from 80-to-147. Which only said one thing - Fear! Then Diane left the room.

When investigators searched the site, they found NOTHING! Fred Hugi was back at his post between Christie & Danny. He became a familiar fixture. During the police questioning, when detectives used the name Lew, they were in danger of losing Diane's interest/control in questioning. Detectives states that Diane was describing a B.H. S. (Bushy Haired Stranger) as someone as a suspect. Somebody you could bring up but never produce. Diane's description of her attacker raised hairs on the detectives. The holes in Diane's story were unexplainable. If indeed a "stranger" did stop in the road for Diane's car, why didn't they shoot Diane? Hearing the scenarios of what transpired, detectives wondered if they had already met the instinctive killer: Diane.

In normal settings, police would see someone too scared to death to speak, afraid of the result from the "killer", but she seemed more than well/in-check each day. When Diane went to visit the kids, she would just stand there at the end of the kids' beds - awkwardly. Then leave - w/o saying ANYTHING! Going over the injuries, detectives noticed that Diane had been shot and re-examined the site where. She had been shot in the 1 place in the arm that caused the least amount of pain. Each day after her stroke, Christie had lost most of her ability to speak. It had also paralyzed her right arm. Danny was now paralyzed permanently from his spinal cord and subdued to a wheelchair.

When Diane was released from the hospital, she was "terrified". She also had to do one other thing she dreaded, move back in w/ her parents. When she was in school, Diane excelled. She could've achieved anything w/ an I.Q. of 125. As a child, Diane Downs felt ignored by her mother & tormented by her father. She was 12 when she recalled being sexually abused by her father. Something that happened often. After an incident happened that involved a highway patrolman, it was over as quickly as it began. In her teens, Diane didn't feel worthy of love. She felt ugly as if her fathers abuse had marked her. But she was very pretty. Her only TRUE friends were animals. She found them more trustworthy than humans.

Diane met Steve Downs when she was 15. He was the same. Since, technically, he was still a boy, Diane took a liking to! He was the first male to make Diane feel like she was pretty. Since her parents hated Steve,  it made Diane want him more. Within months of dating, she confided to him about the abuse. Her self-manifestation ended up proceeding to scratching her own face. After going out w/ Steve one night, they didn't return. They would  live together. Finally getting married. Steve Downs was more than a groom, he was Diane's ticket out. In letters/interviews, Diane often refers to herself as "a little girl" and other adults as "grownups". In 1977, after 2 kids, Steve had a vasectomy, but in '78 he had it reversed. Diane had an affair by choice of hers. Knowing her cycle, she asked for a pregnancy. After a troubled pregnancy, she had a boy named Danny. The man whom Diane had the affair/fathered Danny was Russ Phillips. But Diane only allowed him to see Danny when she needed a babysitter. But sometimes Christie & Cheryl would have Jekyll & Hyde for a mom.

In April 1980, after watching 'Donahue', Diane wrote to someone she seen on the show and volunteered to be a surrogate. After the Downs' marriage finally burst, Diane moved on. She was never w/o a lover. But in 1981, Diane went to KY for the insemination "job". She looked at the pregnancy as a way to replace the child she aborted. Her pregnancy w/ this child had the other Downs children COMPLETELY ignored & cared for by neighbors. Diane was only looking out for herself. She beat Steve for custody in divorce court. But she was never w/ them. She was too busy re-living her lost youth/teenage years of abuse. She was blind to the way she treated her kids. She referred to them as 'The Four Musketeers'. Them (Diane, Christie, Cheryl & Danny) against the world. Diane was due on 5-10-82. She then decided that it was no longer the aborted child, Carrie. She honored the contract and flew home to Arizona w/ the $10,000 fee.She felt a sense of joy & well-being.

Diane sang along to 'Duran Duran'. She went ahead to find a place for a new man, Lew Lewiston. After Lew had signified the end of their relationship, that he had decided to stay w/ his wife, Nora and work things out, he tried to end communication w/ her. But Diane wouldn't have it. She stalked him. He told her prior that he didn't want to be a daddy. Detectives had asked Lew, "if he knew if Diane had any guns?" He replied that he knew of them, he seen them in the car the night prior      .                .                .  

In Eugene, Diane's diary had been so obsessively involved w/ Lew. Even the poems retrieved had been about him. Det. Hugi could believe that the love affair had been powerful enough - on both sides -that might make her conspire to eliminate the kids. One detective repeated that Lew had told him he thinks Diane shot the kids b/c of him. The case was beginning to fit together. Lew not wanting to be a daddy - that was motive.

If Diane had a favorite song, it was Duran Duran's 'Hungry Like A Wolf' due to it's subject of frustrated passion. But she insisted that it was Cheryl's. Diane's writing's in he diary were a complete diary of reality. She seemed to believe wholeheartedly that it was HER who made all of the sacrifices. Diane had sent Lew a box of flowers - which he refused. But she kept them and left them in the trunk of the car. They were still when detectives investigated the car. Detectives found that Diane's diary hardly ever mentioned the kids at all. The only mention was that "the kids liked him too". But how could they? Lew hardly knew the kids. Christie said that her mother's moods depended on Lew. Investigating the letters Diane sent, she hadn't listened to a word that Lew said. After reading the diary so many times, Diane's focal point changed as if she just discovered her kids. Reading on, they found that Diane had purchased a brass unicorn & had it engraved. She had re-enacted a whole day she'd spent w/ the kids. The date inscribed on the unicorn (5-13-83) was to symbolize the death's of the kids. As if they were supposed to die on that day! After Diane had chatted w/ a friend on the phone for an hour, she told the kids to get in the car, they were going for a ride .             .                .

She had written that Diane and the kids moved back as the Four Musketeers. Diane vowed to finish school and study pre-med. She would work her way through school @ night - then go to medical school. Knowing it might take years, she replied to find shortcuts. Diane was starving for TOO MUCH attention. She worked closely in the post office w/ Lew Lewiston.

At the time, Diane's diary from the night of the shooting was found as a gushy, high school girl smitten w/ her first love had written it. Investigators had found that Diane's car had signs that someone had shot the kids from outside the car. Thinking Lew was the motive. They had to get Diane to talk. They went to talk to Lew and made this case Priority One. The psychologist, Paula, that worked w/ Christie & Danny, began to gain trust from Christie. Diane sought her as an 'evil witch'. Whenever she would bring Christie a doll, Diane snatched it from Christie, who was paralyzed, and threw it against the wall. Christie then filled w/ terror.

Diane added one more ambition to her roster. She wanted to marry Lew. She knew he wasn't interested in being a father. She assured Lew that the kids wouldn't bother him. Lew thought Diane would've treated him like a normal liaison. But he soon found her possessive. The kids had apparently led the gypsy life. Anywhere Diane lived or sent them to live they'd be dragged thru like a rag-doll. At the center of everything was Lew Lewiston. She'd given up EVERYTHING for Lew and he abandoned her to go w/ his wife.

 Diane prevailed to think Lew could fix anything. She'd be down, but she'd bounce back. She was so confident that she got a rose tattoo on her right shoulder. She explained that the tattoo symbolize that she was ONLY Lew's and the tattoo was his mark. Something to symbolize their love. It only made Lew uncomfortable. Diane kept saying that she didn't want a daddy for her kids. She wanted someone to love HER and care about HER and like the kids. When it came to the tattoo, Diane had urged Lew to get an identical. Lew had once given Diane 4 plastic cups. Diane symbolized them as him accepting her & the 3 kids. Lew did indeed get a tattoo on his arm. A rose w/ Diane's name.

In Diane's mind, EVERYTHING was all set. Her kids/belongings were in O.R. and her job was in Chandler. All she had to do was wait for Lew. In her diary, she spoke of nothing but Lew and herself, hardly mentioning the kids at all. In her diary, she had written about the day and the unicorn and then the next page was blank. All that was dated was Thursday, 5-19-83. The rest of the page was blank and the diary ended.

Investigators had discovered some of the cartridges removed from the .22 rifle in Diane's closet had, at one time, been through the very gun that shot Cheryl, Christie & Danny. Fred Hugi felt he had a breakthrough in evidence. After going through Diane's burned-up trailer, they passed a metal detector only to find metal lead. It was a .22 slug like some of the bullets in O.R. If it matched, they would have probable cause to arrest Diane. Diane visited Christie & Danny constantly. Snuggling & whispering. Christie was beginning to speak - haltingly - but deputies could understand Christie, at this point, knew that her sister was dead & that her brother was hurt. Her mother came over everyday, but guards stood watch. Diane learned the day after surgery for her arm that Christie & Danny were removed from her custody. Diane stated that she was going to take her children out of the hospital and no one was going to stop her. After a custody battle, Diane lost and had to make appointments to see the kids. But she won over the media.

Cops were starting to get angry. They were since they had enough for a murder charge, but they grew tired of barking out orders & nagging the crime lab for evidence. Diane had declared that she raced to the hospital w/ her bleeding babies, driving out as fast as she dared to get them there alive "and that she kept going  .        .      . and going". She had not noticed there was car behind her, but she was too busy concentrating on sights & sounds inside the car. Fred Hugi believed that Diane did indeed see the look on Christie's face, b/c she was terrified/horrified to see the gun in Diane's hand. It was pitch black outside the car, the dome light was on inside the car. No One could have seen anything outside but blackness. The bloody beach towel Diane used to cover her arm was something of a code to break, by the pattern of the blood to solve. They folded/unfolded the towel to figure it out.

Christie Downs was & still in the hospital and was supported by the court to be fielded questions by Paula, in reference to the night of the shooting. Christie answered silently the best way she could. Paula sensed that Christie harbored terrible guilt that she was in some way responsible for the tragedy that invoked her family.

It was essential for Christie & Danny to be placed in foster care where they would be properly cared for. They went to foster parents Ray & Evelyn Slavin, where they would do everything to bring the kids through as while/secure as possible. Christie was released from the hospital after 5 weeks. She was so very thin, her R arm paralyzed. They were VERY patient & knew what to expect after bringing Christie home. She had difficulty w/ her speech, but grew more verbal each week. Even though she was only 8, they were surprised to see her helping out w/ chores at the Slavins. They provided Christie w/ love and security. Something did way too much on Christie's mentality, but the Slavins tried hard not to push it!

After 2 years of prep, courts were still worried about what Christie could remember & especially of her mother was the shooter and if she could say it! A thousand times in the summer of '83, they were waiting to press charges until they were ready. Or until they found a gun. Diane had learned at this point how to deal w/ detectives. She began to cry softer her voice. A woman in so much pain that she couldn't be shading the truth. Even w/o her kids, Diane was busy w/ messing police, her diary & an interview anytime she wanted one. Pretty soon she would have her postal job back. Even better for her: Lew was back in her life. In an effort to get Diane to confess, police taped and used Lew for the truth. Whatever infatuation/feelings Lew had for Diane were now completely DEAD! His first phone call to Diane was on 7-2-83 and she was glad to hear from him. She no longer trusted any man - even Lew. In July, Diane was ready to go back carrying the mail. Her voice was as girly & cheerful as though she just talked to Lew. When she talked to him, she said of another trip to Arizona. Their conversation was just the same - no mention about the kids. The more Lew called Diane, the more she opened up! Ending their conversations w/ Diane repeating 'I Love You's to him - almost devouring - which made Lew shiver.

Wes Fredrickson told detectives that he knew of Christie's whereabouts, but didn't tell his daughter, If Wes knew, then it was only a matter of time before Diane did. For a murderer, one thing Diane never did was keep her mouth shut. If there was an opportunity to talk, she grabbed at it. Pulling attention to herself.  With Carl Peterson, Christie was able to mention her mother aloud, although her speech impediment rendered when she did, Christie, who was more afraid of working w/ Carl, had images coming more frequently. She had known all along, it was just so hard to say out loud. (Can her blame her?) Diane said that she just wanted someone to say  'I Love You', Ironic b/c that was something the kids always did. After several attempts at a private interrogation, detectives questioned Diane who kept w/ her same diatribe. When the heat began stronger, Diane pointed "pain" to he arm. A little more arguing and then she left.

On Aug 3RD, Diane had minor surgery to remove bone chips from her arm. A second court hearing concerning visitation was on Aug. 4TH. She didn't go. Diane was ordered to see a psychiatrist. Her scores indicated anti-social personality problems. Diane's mood lifted when Christie sent her mother a birthday card. Elated that she remembered. No matter what she was able to remember, Christie viewed Diane, not as her mom, but as a lost little girl  w/o friends. Diane w/ attorney's in tow, flew to Chandler in 1983. After 5 months, Lew barely spoke to her. She was stunned by the cold shoulder received by everyone. She no longer had any friends, she spent her time in a hot stifling car.

Christie Downs was making tremendous progress living in the foster home. She couldn't speak clearly, her R arm was paralyzed. But she laughed now and her nightmares were sporadic. She was becoming comfortable w/ Dr. Peterson. In Sept., Danny was released from the hospital after 4 months. He would live w/ his sister and the Slavins. They (Christie & Danny) only had each other. He was/remained in a wheelchair. The shooting was losing headlines at this point. Diane's emotional state evolved around a man. She began to drink. She had been lonely and wanted a man. Her eyes sat on Matt Jensen - a teacher. Later on as they spoke and he couldn't believe she'd done it. He felt sorry for her. He would "company" her but she considered him a full-time lover. Diane was becoming TOO MUCH for him and he quietly left w/ no word of his whereabouts.

With Christie's progression & trust to share secrets, Fred Hugi filed an affidavit w/ the juvenile court. Dr. Peterson sent a letter to the court saying that Christie expressed some feelings associated w/ her sister's death. Christie did not display the near strong desire to be reunited w/ her mother. Any visitation would've had to be closely supervised. Steve Downs called Diane to see if she wanted to see the kids. Of Course she did! He told her to be at a certain spot and he would walk by w/ the kids. Diane showed up at the location. He called her over to the car and Diane seen Danny lay asleep in the car. Diane had not seen Christie for 3 months. But she fooled EVERY public official - even Christie's counselor & Steve. Diane was just supposed to look at the kids. But she wanted to hold her. Diane took advantage of this entire situation. Diane peeked & seen that Danny was still paralyzed. She thought she could fix that w/ enough love. Steve let Diane take the kids away w/ her for a ride. Diane stayed away w/ the kids even longer - after dark. Steve had violated a court order to even let Diane see the kids at all. He was about to call the police until he seen a car pull up at his motel room. When Diane returned, Steve saw Christie holding her dead arm in her good hand. At least Christie was alive!

Diane then laughed at Steve for being so dramatic. She laughed off that they had a wonderful time. Diane said that Christie asked about the shooting, but Diane said the police wont let her discuss it. Christie then asked about Lew. Diane then took her to see her grandparents. Wes cried and he FORBIDS crying. Steve was really upset when Diane did come back. When they did come back, Steve noticed the kids were so relaxed & nice and, now that Diane seen them , they were somber like mice. When Carl Peterson seen Christie, he noticed that she was almost right back where they started. Diane had wanted CSD to know about her visit w/ Christie but in a roundabout way.

Fred Hugi was appalled that Diane did see the kids. Diane knew the date of her menstrual cycle and vowed & accomplished getting pregnant again. The man she used was pissed and upset b/c Diane had used him. He wanted nothing to do w/ her. She wanted a baby inside and didn't care how she got it. He now knew that Diane just took what she wanted. What happened next was what they expected, Christie, through role play, reenacted what happened & what her mother had done. In doing that for a jury would secure a conviction of guilty & truth.

The list of people Christie trusted grew longer. Meanwhile, even though it hurt them both emotionally, Fred Hugi was forcing himself to start preparing Christie in court. He promised her he wold be there for her. He prepped her and nothing came as a surprise. Diane didn't say much about the case. At this point, things were starting to go south w/ Diane at her parents house. Very old wounds & secrets began to-unsurface. The atmosphere in the house was oppressive. They were sure Diane was hiding something. Fifteen years since the incident in the desert, Diane remembered. She could tell she was beginning to wear out her welcome. On 2/26, Diane had a doozy of a fight w/ her dad. It began w/ Wes telling Diane she had to move out, he couldn't stand to live w/ her and her anger. Diane started to spout the truth to her mother - Willadene didn't believe her. The next night Wes ordered Diane out of his house. But Willadene kept contact w/ her daughter. That days 24hrs. would be her last - only she didn't know it. On May 19, 1983, it ws handed down. The State Of Oregon V. Diane Downs.

Charges were as follows: - Murder, - Attempted Murder, - Attempted Murder, - Assault In The First Degree & - Assault In The First Degree. After no more reasons, the time has come for arrest warrants for Diane Downs. Diane was now in her fifth month of pregnancy. Ironically it took the state 9 months to get n arrest on her. After the arrest & booking on 2-28-84, everything now hinged on 9-year-old Christie. The time would come. Diane did not understand the problems she was facing.

She did receive a number of letters from "the guys" in jail, it helped her immeasurably remain cheerful. She wasn't even disturbed that she had corresponded w/ a convicted rapist. When it came trial, Diane just wanted it over with. She didn't care to never see the state of Oregon.

To bolster his arguments, Det. Hugi sighted that Diane had produced two different composites of the suspect. Very conflicting tales, one minute she says she knew the guy, b/c he made reference to her tattoo, the next she didn't know him at all. When the trial starts, in opening, they had everything  - the prosecution. The motive, the method & the opportunity. As the defense speaks, women in the gallery are agape. Both sides agree in court, it all rests on Christie Ann Downs. On Monday 5/14, the judge, the jury & Diane aboard a bus and go to Old Mohawk Rd. - the scene of the crime - Diane stays on the bus, but they all investigate the crime scene. As testimonies continue, the jury becomes more/more subdued. After testimony from doctors & other experts, it was now time for one of the children to testify. The only survivor of this crime - Christie.

Prosecution tried to make it easy as possible for her. They don't know if she can do it - w/ her mother staring at her. But she does have support from her entire foster family. As she is escorted into the room into her seat - the room is quiet and wondering if she'll tell what really happened that night? She takes the stand, her face is full of fear and pain. The stroke left her w/ slight paralysis. No matter who is out there in the gallery or how much prep has gone on, Christie is doing this alone. She can't stop crying - but refuses to run. Fred Hugi walks close to Christie, she feels comfortable w/ him close. A VERY EMOTIONAL & HIGHLY INTENSE testimony was given of truth and nothing but Christie and the sound of heartbeats equated the quiet room. The questioning was hard and in one way a sort of courage that could avenge her sister's death. Christie began to sob, spectators hearing began to sob. Diane turns her head away. She begins to cry and Christie begins to hold her face in her hands to block out the memory she can no longer hold back tears. Her voice is thick and clotted w/ tears. She tells the truth about the night of events. As she telling this, almost everyone is crying. After several manipulative questions, that Christie isn't buying, & a short recess there's an emotional re-direct. Afterward Christie is worn/exhausted. She did it!

When they played 'Hungry Like A Wolf', memories start flooding back. On March 4TH, Christie had drawn a number of pictures. On January 16TH, Christie stated in counseling that she never wanted to go back w/ her mother. On May 21ST, the courtroom had changed. A mock-up of the car had been in place. Recreating the crime scene. Proving what was going on the night of the shooting and how they proved the significance of the 'Duran Duran' tape playing. The science of the blood splatter. While Diane awaits anxiously to take the stand - confident that the jury will believe her. During a videotaped interview, Diane is seen laughing on camera. Nervous? When the lights go dark in "real life", she is smiling a little. When the court plays a tape of 'Hungry Like A Wolf', normally it would bring a mother to tears or to vomit, but Diane just sits there and jams w/ the music. When Lew testifies, Diane hears for herself how relieved Lew had been after he ended their relationship. He testified about Diane pressuring him to leave his wife and be a daddy but he stated he didn't want kids. Lew counted in his testimony that he loved Diane's kids - which he did, he just didn't want to have his own children. After his testimony, Lew officially walked out of the courtroom and when the doors shut behind him - he was gone. Really gone.

Diane officially takes the stand in May 1984. The doors were open to questions on the prosecution. She didn't care. She had to explain her story. From the "abuse", from her dad, to her marriage to Steve and, to being a parent. As Diane is testifying, her voice sounds "different" from the letters she'd written concerning Lew. Her voice sounded more of a forceful denying from him. During the trial, all the words are right for her favor. Diane even stated that when they played 'Duran Duran', "The tapes have no bad connotations. It was Cheryl's favorite tape & that it can't make her feel bad" (Side note: As a mother, wouldn't that make you unable to listen to that tape after the fact - if you really didn't do anything?) The strain of trial has made Diane go into labor early - Nope she came in late. Because she is still pregnant, it's like she vowed to stay that way. If she doesn't deliver, they can't take the baby away. When asked how she felt talking about the night of the attack? She responds: "Much of the pain is gone." Then the courtroom filled w/ women w/ more of a .        .        .       . "If they had been me.         .          ."

Diane stars to ease in her line of answers and spouts everything. The buck stops at Lew Lewiston. The more she talks, the more damage she makes to herself. After the prosecution digs deeper in questioning, about the events on the night of the shooting. Diane shortly shows signs of tears, but more of frustration/rage. After questioning calmed, everyone is becoming done w/ her.

After a few more witnesses, it's over - time for final arguments - then the verdict. Organizing the entire case in final arguments. In rebuttal, the jury is asked to remember the kids - one dead & 2 forever disabled. Remember who did this? While the defense pointed her as "they're out to get her". Paul Alton also discussed the blood pattern and fit stains. It remained as some sort of puzzle on the towel Diane used for he arm. After figuring out the blood match-up, he shows the jury just how this was done and why Diane had no blood in the car. Considering the perfect pattern, it was as if Diane pre-planned the shot. This becomes a blow for the defense. Now it's a wait for the jury.

After 3 grueling day, a jury comes back and finds Diane guilty of the following:
. first degree attempted murder
. a second count of first degree attempted murder
. first degree assault
. Murder
 Ten days later, Diane gave birth to a girl, Amy Elizabeth Downs. She was able to hold he for a long time. But within a few hours, Diane was back in her jail cell. Even as Diane was to be fully sentenced, she still proclaimed "the killer is out there". "I'll do time for this man." Her sentence which was to run consecutively, Life + 5 years (for using a firearm). For Attempted Murder, 30 years w/ 15 yr. mandatory. For Assault in the first degree, 20 yrs w/ a 10 yr. minimum. All together that's life plus 50 years.

After Diane had been in prison for 3 months, the DA's office called w/ apparent news. The missing 22-ruger was found in a narcotics raid by sargents. After ALOT of research, this was in fact the gun that Diane stole from Steve Downs. All the pieces were beginning to fit together after reveling that Diane had the gun that was missing on 5-19. After her first year in prison, Diane fit the FULL profile of a woman "hardened" in prison.

Amy Elizabeth/Rebecca Babcock

In 1985, any ties w/ Danny & Christie were completely severed. The kids would spend 3 years healing at the home of The Slavins. They mainstreamed quickly into school. Danny only lasted 3 days in kindergarten before he was skipping into grades. Christie was active in sports and band. They had literally stepped into a kinder world. The song,  'Hungry Like A Wolf' represented justice. Amy Elizabeth was adopted. The kids were happily adopted by The Slavins.

In an update interview in 1986, Diane changed. Her voice was soft and with great reticence. She was no longer the transparent, verbose woman who spoke without thinking. While she never refused an interview, her time in infamy was growing dim. She was turned down for a new trial. Diane was enraged about the original printed copy of this book, 'Small Sacrifices'. She was upset about the book cover. On July 11TH, Diane took the shot early at 8:00AM outside w/ no guards paying close attention. She had been prepared, jumped the fence & escaped! After she escaped, the prison notified Fred Hugi of Diane's plan to get to Danny & Christie.The second obvious place to go was to Lew & Nora's. At 8:55AM, prison nurse JoAnn Bowlin arrived for work. Her eyes caught movement at the northern part of the parking lot under a 1955 Chevrolet Pick-Up. It was Diane Downs. An A.P.B. was made. Fred Hugi kept a closer watch and was in no danger of being caught off-guard.

At 10:20p, a call was made by a Salem family. Glenda and Charles Hawkins and 4-out-of-7 of their kids were drawn to a woman in the road. They spotted her behavior. They compared the face they seen to the newspaper articles they had. It was her! Everyone, after receiving a call from the Salem's, were in a panic for her to be found. Sightings were called in as well as bulletins. On 7-22, a husband of an inmate gave consent to search and found Diane. After waiting and having no wherelse to go,  she cooperated. She was out for 11 days before she was finally recaptured and remanded in prison.


In 1989,  a made-for-TV movie was made based on this book and of the Downs' case that featured the late Farrah Fawcett as Diane and beau Ryan O'Neal as Lew Lewiston.

Moneyball

This book while being, I think, my first TRUE story into the field of sports. I know Hundreds sporting true stories. But this is my first in baseball.

Originally written by Michael Lewis who wrote this book because he loved the story. It began w/ one innocent question; How did one of the poorest teams in baseball win so many games?  While some of the biggest names spent so much money, they lost in the end. On the other end, there was the Oakland A's, who had won more regular game seasons than any other team. How did they do it? At the bottom of the Oakland experience, it was a willingness to re-think/re-strategize the game. From it's strategy to it's players and their strengths. From scientific science-to-TRUE worth. Knowing what he was getting himself into was the GM (General Manager) of the Oakland A's, Billy Beane. But, why was he the BEST for the job?

As one who was a former PRO player himself, Billy Beane could beat anyone at anything. This was a kid who fro Day 1 made himself excel at the sport, something that his own father, a naval officer, had wanted to teach his son something. From small-time to the BIG LEAGUES, Billy played like blink and you'll miss something you'll ever see again. It go so that in 1979, Billy would run straight from practice to a friend's house to avoid incessant phone calls to his house from scouts. From coaches to scouts, Billy was cool. Everyone wanted this kid. Each/every time the scouts seen him, they saw what they wanted - a big league star. For Billy, his talent was a mask. When things didn't go well for Billy on-field, a wall came down between him and his talent. He had to break it. It was more than not wanting to fail, he merely didn't know how to fail. When it came time for Billy to choose: Stanford of playing for the Mets? After an arm wrestle w/ his father to decide, Billy won. Choosing the Mets. A decision he would later regret. His life changed. From becoming anything to just another leaguer, not even a rich one.

In the summer of 2002, Billy Beane faced his 40TH year and his 5TH as the Oakland A's manager. His was different. He had a life he hadn't led yet - and he knew it. In the beginning of scouting, the odds were against him. Reason, even science, was what Billy Beane was intent on bringing to baseball. It was a constant struggle for him w/ unreasonable means to build a baseball team. There was a lot you couldn't see when you watched a game. For Billy Beane, it was a little different. He intended to rip away from the scouts the power to decide who would  be pro and who wouldn't and his assistant, Paul DePodesta was his reason for doing it.

Paul DePodesta

Paul was the one that KNEW his shit that other scouts ignored. In a room of players, the only bona fide big league regular was Matt Keough, who won the 16 games for the 'As in 1980s. In 1978, his rookie year, he pitched for the All-Star Game. He was the most detached from the group. In 2002, it was IMPORTANT the amateur draft was for the future of the Oakland A's. After Billy's experience as a PRO player was he regarded an experience he needed to overcome to do his job well.When it came to scouting, they used several catch phrases to describe what they needed to avoid. Ex. - Phil Milo (put a Milo on him). Other reasons why the A's didn't waste time on a player. One: Age. The other were "expectations". Word would quickly spread to the rest of the MLB that once Billy Beane was on to a player, players stick would rise. Scouts wanted to keep Billy as far away from him as they could. Billy had his own ideas about where to find future major league players: inside Paul's computer.Billy said it best "When we stop trying to figure out the perception of guys, we've done better". When asked by Dick Bogard, aka "Bogie", one who knew of being the oldest scout, which player, on the Oakland A's draft board resembled a young Billy Beane? "An old thing has died" "Billy Beane was a guy you could dream on!"

The Mets were betting that Billy was better equipped than others to deal w/ pressures & frustrations that went with playing w/ older players. The scouting department judged him wrong - they wanted him to fail. Something he couldn't do. At times, Billy was smart enough to fake his way through his role "young man of promise".One thing about Billy, his weakness was that he couldn't hit. When he missed - he hit. Not others - but unraveled. He busted so many bats against so many walls his teammates lost count. Emotions were always such a big part of what ever he did. For the next three years, Billy was between leagues finally w/ the A's. In those last three years, Billy watched ALOT more games than he played. Calling himself "The Forrest Gump of baseball". He was on the bench when his team won the World Series in 1987 &'89. Among the older men, they saw it like Billy had shoved his talent to one side. He hadn't let nature take it's course. He tried to force it, not stay loose. Billy seen himself only in his stats. If his stats were bad, he had no self-worth.

During spring training in 1980, he was no longer a boy, but a grown man. Married to his high school sweetheart w/ a kid on the way. At 27, the game had stunted him. In 1990, Billy had done something else instead. He walked out of the Oakland A's dugout, into the front offices and said he wanted a job as an advance scout. Entering his prime in baseball, Billy decided he'd rather watch them play. Sandy Alderson didn't know much aout Billy and wondered kind of player he was. Sandy managed to change many things about baseball. Sandy came in as a progressive thinker not knowing shit about the game. He concluded EVERYTHING from strategies-to-evaluations conducted by scientific hypothesis tested by analysis of historical data. He didn't mean to re-examine the premises of the game, but he did it.

By 1995, Alderson had created a baseball corporate culture around a single statistic: on-base percentage. He implemented rules w/ a Marine Corps. tolerance. Discipline & patience had NEVER been enforced. Billy soon found himself out of, not only a uniform, but a wife as well. Moving back to San Diego w/ Casey, their infant daughter, in-tow. Whatever shred of doubt he had that that no one knew talked about - he lost it! The only thing he didn't lose was his ferociousness to win. Alderson introduced writings by Bill James. While Billy listened to Alderson's conclusions about them, his mind found an escape. A green filed far away from baseball, but inside the park.

Chapter 4 - Field Of Ignorance was an in detailed account of writer Bill James of the stats & more of what he accumulated in his writing the book, "1985 Baseball Abstract". By 1997, Billy Beane had read all 12 of Bill James' books. James had something interesting to say to Billy. Billy used his poverty, the fact that he didn't have money, to camouflage that he wants these oddballs more than the studs that he couldn't afford . In his 6 years on the job, Billy had a gift for making grotesquely good deals - finding what other people want and giving it to them in exchange for something better - ALOT better then he could there. But it was against the law to trade draft slots.To describe what Billy feels in anger doesn't justify. He believes, or wants to, that he is alone and no one can help w/ this situation. Each time a team rolls the dice on a high school player, every player that he doesn't want boosts his chances on one he does want. (Pretty much a constant trade-off. One minute you're in, the next traded to someone/somewhere else).

The average A's big leagues salary was $15 million or a bit less from 1999 - having won 91 games in 2000 and more in '01, the Oakland A's were getting better. The more financial underdog they were, the more games they won. By the beginning of 2002, the A's who had won w/ so little, were to figure out the mathematical science of winning an unfair game. What was to be an ordinary interest in the ability to get on base became an obsession for the A's.Runs were the money of baseball. The common denominator of everything that occurred on the field. An insight-er born into the financial market took root into the mind of Paul who put it to use in MLB.

The challenge that came next was to find a replacement for Giambi. But there were more at the same time: Johnny Damon & Olmedo Saenz. Their replacements were, as being labeled, "defected" by the MLB were David Justice, Scott Hatteburg & Jason Giambi's little brother, Jeremy. Every hitter has a hole, the strike zone too big to cover it all, and Giambi's was the size of a pint of milk  and between 2-to-3 baseballs. The reason Billy was able to afford David was due to him being unwanted and starting to show his age. SOmething new players noticed right away were the ways Billy acted in the clubhouse; breaking things and more.Billy was present but also distant in the same.

It didn't take long for the new member of the Oakland A's to see that Billy ran the show. (The Head Boss In Charge). Billy COULDN'T STAND to watch the games. He was a nervous wreck. To blow off stress, he did treadmill /exercises during the game. Taking a glimpse every now/then, but didn't look for the most part. Every time Scott Hatteberg picked a throw out of the dirt, he was dubbed 'Pickin' Machine' .Paul could figure out how a pitcher should pitch any big leaguer, but Hatty was an enigma. Paul couldn't find Hatty's weakness. Billy Beane thought himself out of the BIG LEAGUES and Scott Hatteberg thought himself in.

A by-product of the Oakland experience was trying to subordinate the interest of the individual hitter to that of his team. What bothered Billy about John Mabry was that his approach to hitting was the opposite to Hatteberg. Hatteberg will be the FIRST in American League in not swinging at first pitched and third that he doesn't swing at. The trading trick Billy used was to persuade other teams to buy his guys for more than they were worth and sell their guys for less than their worth. Anyone seeking to understand how this team w/ no money kept winning more & more games would do well to notice their phenomenal ability to improve in the middle of the season. The reason the A's played as if they were different in the second half of the season was because they were a different team. Some of the players felt like trading cards, you know, one minute you're in, the next you're not & traded. (More bang for the buck that you've got). Look at it this way - the stats of MONEYline w/ the figure of baseBALL.

After Billy acquired 2 new players, the team went from good to great. The odd thing about Chad Bradford in this story was that he wants so badly to be normal. Something that he is NOT! More than the fact that he throws funny. The White Sox were ready to trade him due to him not behaving like a "BIG LEAGUER".Sticking to his own thing and down to his homeboy roots. It wasn't that Chad did things differently, it was the efficiency w/ which was recording outs. The best thing of all was that scouts didn't like him. So because he was thrown away by scouts due to his arm, Billy wanted him.

Billy hadn't the slightest interest in watching his team making history, it was just another game. The winning streak of the team had become a national news story. When Scott Hatteberg hits a surprising home run, the single play, winning the game, Billy Beane saw it as just another win.

That was one thing about Billy Beane, he NEVER EVER let himself get emotionally involved w/ a player. Two things after Billy Beane's team secured a play-off spot. 1. Staff members went to the papers to put pressure on the GM  2. A re-think in the engine room  - re-think their whole strategy. Any way you look at it, the progress and result of this team was nothing but miraculous.Baseball science may give a team a slight edge, but that edge is overwhelmed by chance. Billy Beane's services in that market were rapidly changing. After Billy's contract ended, he traded himself. Which his imminent departure rippled through the organization. Paul DePodesta agreed to become new manager of the A's. Billy was traded to the Boston Red Sox. Before he officially signed, Billy couldn't do it. He already made that mistake once, saying yes for money. He vowed to never do it again. He went back to what he did best - preparing the A's for the play-off's in another season. Paul DePodesta went back to being a sidekick. He changed the lives of ballplayers whose hidden virtues never would have been seen.








Here's MY Opinion:

I stated that I didn't know shit about sports. But I read this book and found it inspiring to see that one man (or two) do what they had to to make the proper successes necessary. Sometimes in life you do what you've got to in order to get the job done. This IS NOT a baseball story. More of a forgotten reality that just because you're "labeled" a throw away doesn't make it so.









In 2011, a film was made based on this story w/ Brad Pitt as GM Billy Beane and Jonah Hill as Paul DePodesta in the 2011 Oscar-nominated film 'Moneyball'

Silent Bob Speaks

ALOT of the world may know him as part of a duo from a slew of comedies such as Clerks, Clerks II, Chasing Amy and, Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back. But he's more than that. Other than the guy who wrote those films, not to mention the creator of Jersey Films, here is the book behind all of that collected material. From the collective writings, here is Kevin Smith.

Written only as he knows how, in his own language just as he was saying it to you! (Picture It: for those of you who have seen it, imagine the documentary 'An Evening W/ Kevin Smith' on paper. Believe Me, It's PURELY Kevin.

Originally from Jersey and had been in LA for 7 years. To begin Kevin first met his wife, Jen , when she had been working at USA Today writing features about the V&V (Vapid & Vacant). Kevin was one of those V&V. He talks about the latters of successes/failures with films from Clerks to Chasing Amy. He talks about mutual respect and admiration for Jay Mohr, Judd Nelson & Shannon Elizabeth. During different film shoots, while different company names, it's STILL the same shit. From View Askew-to-Unstable Molecules-to-Toon Askew, thanks to the Clerks cartoons - leaving w/ Askews Me w/ Brian Halloran & Jeff Anderson.

Kevin talks some about his friendship w/ fellow actor Ben Affleck. He talks hilariously about his marriage to wife Jen(nifer Schwalbach). His partners that include Scott Moiser & Jason Mewes. There were funny meetings/time w/ actress Selma Blair. From Cruel Intentions. They talk about behind-the-scenes of that film and as they call her "Greasy" Reese Witherspoon. To prove his DISLIKE  for the Oscar-winner, it was shortly during the release of her latest film at the time, 'Overnight Delivery' that Reese straight up sneers at an interview where Kevin was mentioned.

He talks about his/Jen's fascination w/ actor David Duchovney, who at that time was on X-Files.Kevin talks about the meeting and bond w/ actress Eliza Dushku, of Bring It On fame. After a bunch of drama & legalities to get Shannon Elizabeth, who was already promised to another, was waited on when it was Shannon they wanted all along. Having to wait due to another actress wanting the project first but wasn't sure they could do it.

family picture

Kevin talks about Jen and what she found to "fulfill" her while Kevin made his movies. Something just for her! He talks about references concerning his weight and what he's maintained outside of it and, more than it makes up for. Even though he makes these films, one thing you can say about Kevin that is TRUE is that he is a comic book geek at heart! What showed great excitement and promise when watching a screening of the first Spider-Man film became a FAST disappointment. But a second-chance screening in the movie theater more than made up for it!

Like I've said, Kevin was born/raised in New Jersey. But as of January 2005, he felt a total sellout when he made his family move his family's home to LA. Like any parent, and what he experienced as a kid, he fears that he most beloved treasure will take after him. His daughter - Harley. While being the daughter of Silent Bob doesn't help, neither does DNA.

This book was written shortly before 'Jersey Girl' came out. Even though Kevin is a fan of Affleck's, as well as a friend of his for 10 + years, he seen Ben go from "humble note-writer and blossom into a humble, bona-fide movie star" Kevin has said. This was during the time Ben was dating Jennifer Lopez. He talks GENUINELY about the guy you don't know off-screen. A real good guy.

Kevin talks about doing an interview and, as Kevin would say, "A non-gay man crush" on Tom Cruise. Starting from beginning of his career of Jerry Maguire-to-Eyes Wide Shut and his admiration for the actor.If you knew ANY Kevin history, then you know about his working at a convenience store and being accompanied by Mewes real early in the morning. During that time, while working this hour, he would watch and be capulated by the series 'Degrassi'. It was early Sunday mornings and a cult following of it's own. As he stated "A precursor to Beverly Hills, 90210". Every Kevin fan knows that he's from Jersey, but as you read on you see his love for 'The Garden State'.

'Jersey Girl' is the first film that Kevin felt like a full-fledged filmmaker rather than a writer who directs his own stuff. Kevin gives some behind the scenes stories of filming 'Jersey Girl'. The last chapter of this book just goes to show you how BIG a comic book geek he really is!





In The End:


Kevin is a fantastically FUCKING FUNNY writer/director with a slew of films under his belt with ALOT of innuendos.


Which one(s) of his work are your favorites? . . .

Rainbow Road

Well, here we are now w/ Jason, Kyle and, Nelson. It's shortly after senior year and summer has began for the last time before they all separate to various colleges. To celebrate their last time together as a group, Nelson, now w/ pink-dyed hair, Kyle & Jason embark on a lasting camping road trip in the finale of the Rainbow series.

But dilemmas occur before they even hit the road. Jason, who had come out to his coach and more last semester, since due to the popularity of his status, he had become at this point, sort of a mini-celebrity. He had been asked to speak at a high school for LGBT kids in LA. So confliction of what to do .     .       . take this amazing opportunity and speak or take a long-awaited camping trip?

What was there to decide? Jason could cash in the tickets and since Nelson had saved up his money, all they would need it for was for food since they would camp out. So, turn this California opportunity into the road trip they were meant to have. After working at a chicken shack, Kyle wouldn't stop thinking about Nelson's offer over-and-over to join them. Initially after work, he agreed to go on this opportunistic trip he couldn't pass up on.

Jason love how his mom and little sister had taken to Kyle. He felt like the luckiest boy on Earth - just surrounded by love. After Jason told Kyle of the whole planned road trip, Jason loved it! When Jason called the school to exchange the ticket for cash to drive, and since his mom was afraid for him to fly, they understood and sent a check. After Nelson braced himself to tell his mom about the planned trip, She Freaked! But, she decided to let him go since he told her of Kyle going and all of the pre-planning.

As they all 3 sat and planned this trip, all 3 of them wanted to go to separate places along the way and planned ahead before leaving. Only concern is: Jason/Nelson don't irritate each other too much which started giving Jason second thoughts all around. Nelson went to get the car checked prior to the trip and the much needed repairs cost him half of his savings for the trip. He wanted to be a big boy, leave his job for a trip, spend what he's made - now he had to wear the pants. Since Nelson had still been w/ Jeremy and he had H.I.V. and Nelson was negative, after wonderingly thinking, could Nelson/Jeremy actually make this relationship work?

The next morning Mrs. Glassman confided to an wake Kyle while her sleeping son was still in state the truth of why she let Nelson go. Unattained by the alarm clock, Nelson overslept and rushed to get ready and moving. Before they left, Kyle promised Mrs. Glassman he'd watch over her son. When they left to go get Jason, before they all left, Mrs. Carrillo hugged her son and Kyle good-bye. It was then for the first time that happened, making Kyle feel more a part of Jason's life. And now, using Nelson's car, they're off on the road and before even leaving town irritation starts.

When they approached the exit for Tech, the school that retracted the scholarship from Jason, he sat and wondered what if? After they reached the campgrounds, Jason was going to shower and used Nelson's phone. When he got to the shower, Nelson retrieved his phone after sneaking a peek at Jason. Feeling like a dumb-ass for checking out his best friend's boyfriend.

Nelson later retrieved a bottle of rum he'd brought and after 2 drinks, vocally spilled what was too much. Kyle worried that because Jason had 2 drinks of rum, he worried it was the beginning of Jason turning into an alcoholic like his dad. In the morning, Kyle poured out and tossed Nelson's rum. When Nelson found out, it PISSED him off. When they drove past the basketball court, leaving the grounds, Jason invited Nelson, in rear-view, to a game before leaving. Nelson protested! But he had a right to hate the game. In school, he was reminded of being last and taunted through the game - which left him w/ a hatred for the game. A couple of hours later, Nelson couldn't find his cellphone. So, he thinks he left it at the campsite. After an hours drive back and no phone, he initially found it in the pocket of his jacket. That evening they were to reach some sort of mountain place Nelson insisted on staying.

After Nelson's phone fiasco, they needed to stop for gas - which they DESPERATELY needed. When the gas OFFICIALLY ran out, a pickup truck was right behind them . When the guys pulled out of their truck, what they thought was to be a confrontation, was that they offered direction to the sanctuary they were to initially stop for the night. After the introductions, 2 of the members of this sanctuary Horn-Boy and Lady Bugger led the way. When they got there, Nelson and Jason grew into it. It was more of an outdoor meeting/ camp trip for this group (LGBT's). As the campfire progressed, a joint went circling. Nelson inhaled and Kyle protested. After they got up in the morning, Jason had to force Nelson awake. While pissy, he started to fold up camp and say good-bye to leave. When Nelson was loading the car, Horn-Boy stopped by to give Nelson a private good-bye. He truly enjoyed the sanctuary. After they arrived in Nashville, Nelson wanted to see the Grand Ole Opry. Nelson & Kyle went to see the HISTORICAL monument as Jason went to find a basketball hoop to keep up his game.

Even though he felt pestered and babysat, Nelson had to know that Jason & Kyle were only looking out for his best interest. After the game was over on-court, Nelson & Kyle returned from the Opry and as they headed towards the car, they seen the car had been spray painted w/ a gay slur. Jason thought it was the rainbow flag on the bumper. Between Jason and Horn-Boy, Nelson wondered if he would ever find love? The next day, Nelson wanted to see the National Civil Rights Museum. Jason paid for everyone to get in, a little scarce at first, but Kyle & Nelson loved it! After they left, got back on the road & went to eat, Kyle realized he left his wallet feeling re-assured w/ the credit cards his dad had given him for emergencies.

When they stopped for gas, they pulled into a station and the female attendant asked for a ride - Kyle agreed. After looking at her in the rear-view, Jason wondered about her? She revealed her story and that she was TG (Transgendered). She had the look and sound that reminded Nelson of Britney Spears. After suggesting to enter a contest for a Britney look-alike, BJ gave Nelson a FULL makeover to make him look like Britney. Their destination was the Rendezvous Bar - Nelson's FIRST gay club ever. After the contest, which even though Nelson felt like a star, it was BJ who won - and got the attention she deserved.

Even though it was late, Jason sought the idea for "action" but after 3 nights lying beside Kyle in unrequited anguish, they went for it. The next morning after breakfast, the boys bid good-bye and left. BJ was their friend and that's all that mattered. After what they just went through the other night before at the bar, it gave Kyle a rush to let everyone know that Jason was his. The next day, the boys went to examine the city. As they headed down the street, they ran into 3 different teenage girls; Keesha, Evie and Leah. One was straight and the other two were a couple. They went to a nightclub called Score. After Jason stepped out for a minute, he found Leah pressing against his boyfriend. Nelson also found himself a guy, Arturo, and wanted to bring him back to their location. Just then, Kyle glanced back at the dance floor and was surprisingly agape to what he seen. Jason kissing.  .  . Leah?

A little talking but going to dance and for the second time on the dance floor, Leah kissed him again. Only an instant before Jason pulled away. At the edge of the dance floor, Jason spotted Nelson and Kyle staring. Kyle's face filtered w/ pain. With one really wrong answer reply and a hurt Kyle, he stormed out of the club. When they returned to the campsite, Kyle's tone left no doubt he had been crying. He was so hurt he packed up and slept in the car. (What can you say? He was hurt!)

Later that night, Nelson tried to re-assure Kyle that of Jason's history and his being closeted a long time before showing up at the youth meeting. (Nelson tried to do something nice by explaining to Kyle to look at it in Jason's shoes). For awhile Kyle thought over-and-over of Jason, yeah he was hurt, but more of "What if  .  . .  he?" Already a tense atmosphere, Jason had to stop for a bathroom. So they did and went ahead and stopped to eat. They stopped at the Halfway Cafe. Jason scanned the restaurant and spotted 2 men they seen earlier on the road w/ a rainbow sticker on their car. After they introduced themselves and seen they were a couple, Todd & Miguel. As they sat together and spoke, Todd & Miguel had been together for 20 years. That day was their anniversary. They talked and chatted, then Todd & Miguel volunteered and paid the bill. (That was nice!) After they got back in the car, Jason apologized for what happened the other night. Kyle said it was over trust. After he strayed and kissed someone else, could he HONESTLY TRUST Jason?

After hearing Todd & Miguel's story, it made Jason feel ALOT more hopeful about his relationship w/ Kyle. After the boys stopped for the night at the nearest campground, setting up they noticed a small boy in the shadows. Just saying hello this little 7-yr-old boy, w/ a raggedy T-shirt and curly blonde hair, was being picked on by his dad. Nelson couldn't help but feel compassion for this kid as they left, due to his own experiences w/ his dad. In the early morning, after hearing this boy's dad rant, Nelson went to do a face mask and seen this kid, Esau and they spoke to each other.Curiously Esau allowed Nelson to put the exfoliant on his face. They hung out a bit before Esau started to take a liking to Nelson. He seen him as someone he could look up too! Esau peered up and his eyes filled w/ trust & hope. As he cleaned him up, Nelson gave Esau encouraging words. Just then Esau's dad burst through the bathroom. After he shouted at Nelson, Nelson ran after the dad. He shoved Esau back into their families tent before shouting a gay slur to Nelson in front of a sobbing Esau. Walking back, Nelson felt pride that someone, even if he was a stranger stuck for him. When they left, Nelson shouted Esau a message that he took to heart.In defiance, Esau waved back. After Nelson wondered off for about an hour, he noticed he hadn't had a cigarette and decided to quit.

After stopping for gas, there was a buff guy wearing a cowboy hat and a younger man in a wife-beater, jeans & boots in a truck. Kyle spotted a very unwelcoming sticker on their truck. After they asked what the flag sticker meant, Nelson replied w/ profanity what it meant, which made Kyle a nervous wreck, because it lead to a car chase. Already really nervous due to Nelson not helping any and where this confrontation was heading, Kyle reminded Nelson of what happened to Matthew Shepard. The car slammed into a beer can into the boys' windshield which made a small crack even bigger. With Nelson driving, another beer can - came a bigger crack. As Nelson tried to speed up faster, the guys in the truck gained up on them. As the boys  turned a sharp turn, the truck that was following them slammed through a median barricade, leaving Kyle EXTREMELY upset/nervous. He cried himself to sleep quietly. The literally survived gay bashers.

After it was all over,  Jason worried by how Kyle re-acted to this chase. It reminded him of his dad's drunken rages. After they had stopped to an ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT restaurant, Nelson & Jason dug right it while Kyle barely touched ANYTHING due to still being shaken up from the car chase. Nelson stuffed plate-after-plate. Kyle stated that's what Nelson did when he's upset. He also said Nelson had been bulimic in the past.

As they drove, Nelson started to sweat-then-shiver.He was burning up. As they reached the nearest hospital, Nelson was nauseous and going in-and-out. He had to be helped carried inside. Nelson tried to walk himself, but sank like a rock. Jason caught him just in time. When they got inside, Nelson tried to close his eyes, after Jason checked him in, but noises around him INTENSIFIED! He could barely sign consent forms Kyle had given him to sign. A dull ache started in his head. Kyle handed Nelson a metal bedpan. After Jason propped him up, he hurried Nelson past towards the bathroom. Just as they entered, Nelson started vomiting. As he did this, Jason had to help him from hitting anything. Nelson tried to stand alone, but hit the cold tile floor. He started to cry. But his throat felt scratchy, his jaw hurt & his body felt like jelly. His eyes were stinging and his nose on the inside would more. After the doctor questioned and examined him, Nelson did have food poisoning. After he was released hours later, they crashed into the campsite and Nelson went into the deepest sleep.

After this experience and all they had gone through and all that Nelson was there for, how could Kyle ever make it w/o Nelson after he left for college? This whole trip confused Kyle. Every day Jason seen sides of Kyle he never realized were there. (Side note - Were they there and Kyle didn't want to see them?) After he had a nightmare that scared the hell out of Kyle, he ran to look for him, but found him just outside the tent and fell on him. After they both squeezed into the ten, Kyle and Jason felt the trip wasn't going as planned, it confused Kyle that Jason could be so loving towards him and do a 180 and be so aggressive w/ someone else.

Jason felt like even though of what he's been through and at times hating himself, how could Kyle be w/ him? What does he expect? Every time Kyle did or said something sweet, inside Jason thought "Why?" "Who told you to say that?" "That's what you think . . ." As they had a serious discussion about their relationship status, breaking up and where this relationship was heading. They just had to take it one day at a time.

When Nelson woke up after having/fixing dry mouth, they all stayed at Grand Canyon Village w/ Kyle prodding Nelson to stay hydrated & drink. Staying there and camping for the night. The next day began their final stretch to LA. The rest of the way looked the same as where they'd been before. Then they hit CA. and it amazed Nelson. Just like what you'd seen in the movies. They made to LA. After they got to the Harvey Hay School offices, Nelson spotted a boy w/ brilliant pink hair. As their eyes met - they smiled. Nelson felt a connection. His name was Manny. As they sat/spoke, Nelson couldn't help but him & Manny smiling at each other. Nelson's heart raced. After they settled to where they would stay, Manny helped to unload and carry their bags. Offering to go get ice, Nelson went so they could chat. Meanwhile Nelson felt unsure of why this kid would like him? Kyle and Jason each wanted a private moment w/ each other. So they wanted Nelson to go out w/ Manny. After they got back, Nelson figited w/ why Manny would like him? He was NERVOUS.At Kyle's suggestion, Nelson tried to ready & have a date w/ Manny. After the "official" dinner w/ the school board to prepare for the speech, Nelson went out. What started as irritation & nerves became a fight for Jason and Kyle over speech prep. Angry and tired, he fell asleep quickly and Jason, in his sleep, let Kyle lay w/ him.

It was shortly after Nelson came in giggling. After ordering breakfast the next morning, Nelson woke up for breakfast. They were all ready when Manny showed up at the door. As Nelson drove to the school, they seen the news camera there. What caught the news cameras were the protesters that showed up. Nelson didn't join in the auditorium until the 4TH speech. Just then Jason wanted to speak w/ Nelson in the hall. Jason wanted Nelson give the speech, since he felt like Nelson should've been invited to do it all along. He did the right thing and did NOT bail out on what Jason was invited to do. In the front row, Nelson, Manny & Kyle silently cheered him on. Jason was GRATEFUL for his friends to have been there. As he looked at the 3 other boys, he found what he wanted to say and the journey they've taken. The applause scared him, but his speech, as well as Jason, went GREAT! A mist through the crowds of kids who treated Jason like a rock star, Nelson slid through and silently in Jason's ear thanked in gratitude for making him him do this.

Following the speech, Nelson wondered nervously why this guy was liking him so much? Kyle told him to enjoy it because Nelson was GENUINELY a nice guy. After they car repaired, they found Kyle's wallet wedged between the seats. They drove to Manny's place, met his roommate and cleaned their laundry. Nelson liked his apartment. What started out as kissing became more. After the sex, they held each other. Both sharing the same expression. Manny & Nelson shared the same idea; Nelson stay longer. He would stay w/ Manny and his roommate, Ernesto. Manny & Nelson were ALOT like each other. After their talk, Nelson & Manny went back to making love. When it was over, putting things away, Nelson spotted a basketball while hearing what brought everything connect & come together from the start. When they got back to the hotel, they talked about Nelson's given offer. After they called Nelson's mom at 1 AM, he told her of his plans w/ Manny. What started out as an argument w/ Nelson & his mom came to an agreement to stay. He was excited. Just then to make this trip complete, Nelson wanted to learnt to shoot hoops.

At first, Nelson was a little scarce of the ball. But after less than an hour, Nelson scored the first basket of his life. But it was more than a game, it was a reconciliation between two unlikely best friends. At one in the morning, Nelson mastered his first lay-up. At 9 AM, Manny showed up w/ doughnuts at the door. Even in a sleepy daze, Nelson messed around jokingly w/ Manny over his staying in LA. When they got to the car, Nelson transferred his things right next to Manny's car. They prepared emotional good-byes. On a quiet trip back w/o Nelson, Kyle & Jason, four days later, found Nelson's face cream and remembered Esau. In honor of Nelson & Esau, they used it and danced like the Wacky Fairies. Splurging on their last night on the road on a motel, it was somber as Jason & Kyle both knew it would be the last time before as Jason left for Princeton in 3 days. On the forth day, they made it home. At the home-cooked dinner, the boys each retold of their journey. Every time Jason smiled at Kyle, he couldn't help but see a lifetime.



What can I say about this book, well .     .     .

Nelson Glassman

Throughout this ENTIRE book series (Rainbow Boys, Rainbow High & Rainbow Road), the character that I enjoyed the most was:  Nelson. I found him hilariously funny, ballsy, courageous - after what I've read and calling shit for what it is! He is a character that if he was REAL, he should be a role model for ANY young LGBT person as someone to look up to!No Joke! But I also loved Kyle's love of history. When they visit the Civil Rights Museum - he sounded like me - educating Nelson & Jason.

Shockaholic

Well, this is the first book to rein in 2012. What started out as what some would say a bit to talk out ECT, speaks about more. So, before losing ALL sense of FULL memory, here is what some could call either an update or a sequel to/from Wishful Drinking, into the life of LEGENDARY, hilariously funny actress, Carrie Fisher. 


Starting with the journey that took to losing weight and becoming a famous spokesperson for Jenny Craig. She recounts dinner w/ Senator Chris Dodd in 1985. If he was going to sling bullshit at her since he was a senator and she went from drop-out to actress, she was going to sling it right back - both nice but undertow.
                                    
Carrie also talks about her strange connection & relationship w/ the late Michael Jackson. What gave them a bond and what they had in common to what made them friends - "The Princess And The King". Carrie also gives more of a somewhat description of what life was like w/ first stepfather and shoe tycoon, Harry Karl. Reading more of a detail than in Wishful Drinking. 

Father and Daughter

When it came to her dad, Eddie, neither her nor Todd seen him all that much growing up. Although acid induced, Carrie out-of-the-blue somehow remembered his number after so many years and called ex-stepfather Harry, which was worth it. After that she called her biological dad, Eddie. After that call, Carrie found him on her doorstep knocking. She delves into the beginning but essential relationship they shared as father/daughter. When her recently widowed father as the time from the death of Betty Lin, Eddie in turn wanted Carrie to give him everything that she wanted from him growing up - a parent's love. He needed her. What happened? She was there for him in a way he was never there for her/Todd. By the end, it turned out that the overseeing care of her dad had ultimately fallen onto her - Carrie. Whatever she did for him was because she wanted to! Not actually present when he passed, but she was THERE!

Carrie talks many years later about her relationship w/ ex-stepmother and LEGENDARY actress, Elizabeth Taylor. Carrie speaks funnily about being at Elizabeth's and pushed into Liz's pool - leaving the past where it should be! Soon after Carrie, Liz and her mom Debbie Reynolds returned to the relationship they were MEANT to have. A genuine friendship. Then when Carrie wrote 'These Old Broads' Liz and Debbie GENUINELY did have their shit together and the past to be REAL.

Here's something Carrie says to shed some light when you think about it - her parents weren't people in the traditional sense. They were stars before they had a chance for peopleness to form. The studio initially designed her mom into what a STAR is. So they never got to form into their OWN person.


Carrie delves GREATLY  into the Remarkably, touching and lasting memories that she shared w/ her dad in his final days.  When he died, she received something she never thought she would've. A reversal. She was the parent and Eddie was the child. A chance to care for him. Although she lost him, she was grateful that everyone connected at all. Through the experience of getting to know past Eddie Fisher - the persona, Carrie finally go to meet a man - but also her dad.



Here's MY Opinion:


This book shows you  - although they're not THERE, in the long run how empowering it can be/is if/when you have that connection that you've longed for!
                                                                     
                                                                 
                 
                                                                    Eddie Fisher

                                                    (August 10, 1928 – September 22, 2010)